Chapter Nineteen
I ’m humming to myself as I clean up the house. I smile when I see the newly patched hole in the wall. It’s not painted yet, but I know Gunner will make sure it’s done soon.
Honestly, I was angry at first, but it feels nice to have someone take care of you. I guess I forgot what it feels like because it has been so long since I’ve had someone do that for me.
It’s not a dig at my mom. She has always tried her best, but with me being the oldest, I had to grow up quick.
A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts. When I open it, my smile only grows.
“I didn’t hear you pull up. What are you doing here?” I ask Gunner as I wrap my arms around his neck.
He kisses me deeply, taking my breath away.
I don’t think I will ever get used to this. Sometimes it still feels surreal. There are days I show up to work and expect that same grumpy asshole who hated me. He’s never there. Only my sweet, lovable teddy bear.
Love.
Pulling back from him, I try to push down those overwhelming feelings.
“I finished your car this morning. I wanted to get it to you. I’m going on a run, but I’ll be back in a little bit.”
He holds out the keys. I snatch them from him before rushing to the car.
He shakes his head with a smirk on his face as he watches me inspect the car.
“This is a top-of-the-line motor, Gunner. What the hell? This car is worth like two hundred dollars.”
“Well it’s worth at least seven grand now. That motor wasn’t cheap,” he jokes.
I glare at him before going through the engine.
“You replaced all the belts and shit too.” Turning to him, I have tears in my eyes. “You rebuilt the whole car practically.”
“Don’t you start them tears. Your car was a death trap. I only made it to where it is safe for you to drive. Honestly, I would have bought you a brand new one, but I know you would have had my balls for it, so I did the next best thing. I made this one as safe as possible. The airbags are new too. I also had it detailed. The amount of petrified french fries that we found under the passenger seat was slightly concerning, Trouble.” He keeps his face even, waiting for me to explode.
Usually I would. I would never have accepted this from anyone else. I would have thrown a fit and claimed I could take care of myself.
With Gunner, I don’t feel any of that. All I can feel is gratitude.
I take him by surprise when I fling myself at him. He is able to keep his balance, just barely, as he catches me.
“Thank you. This means the world to me,” I whisper against his ear.
He squeezes me tighter. “Daddy always takes care of his good girl, Trouble.”
His tone is soft. Affectionate.
I don’t know how we got here, but here we are.
“I will pay you back the money you put out for it.”
He shakes his head. “I know you are used to paying your own way and struggling all on your own, but you don’t need to do that anymore. I don’t need anything from you. Well, that’s a lie. I need you to be who you are and stay by my side. I need that tight little body next to mine. At some point, I am going to need you to spend every single night with me. That’s all I want. Money means nothing to me.”
“You mean that? I mean, I know we have been doing this thing for a while, but I started to wonder if you really wanted to make this serious,” I ask.
He leans against my car, pulling me to lean against him between his legs. “At first, I would have said no way. I have issues with women. I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe someday, but not now. Then there are all these club girls hanging out. They don’t care whose dick they are sucking. All they want is one of them to keep them and shower them with money and gifts so they never have to work again. I never wanted that.”
“I would never want that either. Those women sound vapid. Were they at the party I went to?”
He shakes his head. “That was a family party. We try to keep that behavior away from the kids. There’s not many, but Smoke hopes there will be someday. We are building a community, and there’s no room for that. That’s why you took me by surprise. Before you, my experience with women was terrible. I couldn’t trust their intentions. Then you blew in here like a little tornado. You took everything I thought I knew and messed it all up until my life was something I didn’t recognize. I was angry about it and took it out on you. You didn’t deserve that, and I am sorry for it, but I didn’t know how to process the attraction I had for you.”
“I thought since you were older, you would have been wiser too,” I tease him.
He bites my neck, making me squeal before he pulls back. “That was a concern too. Why would a gorgeous, smart, talented young woman like you want anything to do with an old, dirty biker like me?”
“You provide me safety. Comfort. I don’t have to be on with you. I can lay my armor down and breathe. Your age doesn’t matter to me, nor do I care what you and the club do. All I need is for you to be that rock for me.”
He rocks against me, letting me feel his cock standing to attention. “I’m always rock-hard and ready for you, baby.”
I laugh, pushing his chest.
“Not out here, you horndog. Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
He nods. “I do, but I’d rather be here with you, my little troublemaker.”
Those words set my soul on fire.
Leaving Sloane is getting harder and harder.
I’m slowly becoming addicted to her. I want her around me all the time. Now I get why Smoke always runs off with his girl. If I could, I would be alone with her without any distractions too. If I could get away with it, I would keep her locked up in my room.
Instead, I had to kiss her and watch her drive away from the clubhouse only minutes ago.
“You look like a lovesick puppy,” Smoke jokes.
I wipe all emotion from my face. “Yeah, right.”
He chuckles. “Don’t act so macho. It’s okay to be in love with your old lady. It’s expected even.”
I bristle at his words. “Whoa, no one said she was my old lady. We are getting to know each other.”
The lie tastes like ash on my tongue. I have been thinking about her being mine permanently for weeks now. I’m too afraid to ask her, though.
It’s not that she won’t say yes. I know she would, but can I trust her? I don’t want to commit to her like that and find her in bed with one of my brothers in a few months. Even worse, what if it takes years for her to turn on me?
“Stop spiraling.” Smoke pats me on the shoulder. “She’s a good person. She isn’t going to do whatever you have in your head. Stop punishing her for the mistakes the women in your past made. She didn’t commit any crimes against you, so stop treating her like a criminal.”
“Whatever,” I grunt at him.
That only makes him smile wider. He knows that I know he is right. That’s as close as I will ever get to admitting it to him, though.
“Keep resisting. It’s entertaining for the rest of us to watch. We are taking bets on when you will go all caveman and piss all over her. I’m betting within the next week or so. You are barely holding it together.” He nudges my shoulder.
“You are seriously betting on me? What’s the matter? Kels not keeping you busy enough to mind your own goddamn business?” I spit back at him.
He ignores the attitude, instead laughing. “Dude, she has you going down within three days. She said that she watched you two kiss goodbye the other day, and she nearly got pregnant from it. I almost had to kick your ass.”
“You almost had to kick my ass because your woman can’t keep her eyes to herself? That sounds like a you problem. Maybe you need to up your game if she is looking out for some real-life porn.”
The humor slips off his face. “She doesn’t want to watch you fuck. I take good care of her. Trust me, she isn’t left wanting.”
I hold my hands up, trying to hold in my laughter. “I see I’ve hit a sore spot. I’ll keep my opinions to myself, but how about you do the same?”
“Point taken. I’ll stay out of your love life.” Then he smiles again. “If you wanted to fall head over heels in love with her by Friday, there might be a crisp hundy in it for you.”
“You only bet one hundred dollars on me? Now I’m offended.”
“Oh no, I bet two thousand, but I’d slide a hundred your way.”
I punch his shoulder, making him wince.
“So grumpy. You need to get going before this turns into a brawl. Take Tank and Bear on the run with you. The Lotus boys will meet you outside of Crowley in about six hours.”
“I got this.” I hesitate a moment before meeting his eyes. “You’ll keep an eye on her.”
I don’t phrase it as a question. It’s a demand. Even with him being my president, I’m telling him to take care of my girl for me.
His smile fades. “Even if you are in denial, I’m not. She’s family. We will keep her safe while you are gone. It’s only eight now. If you are quick about it, you can be back here by eight this evening.”
“I don’t have a good feeling about leaving her,” I admit.
“You never will. I’ve got Prospect One watching her right now,” he tells me.
Tank and Bear come over, joining our impromptu powwow outside the clubhouse.
“What’s up? Are we getting this show on the road?” Tank asks.
Bear doesn’t say a word. Not that I expect him to. He’s a silent but strong type.
“Yeah, you get to drive the van.” I toss the keys at him.
He groans but makes his way over to the van. None of us like to be in a cage. We prefer to be on our bikes with the wind brushing our skin.
Smoke nods at me once more. “See you soon, brother. Stay safe.”
“I always do.”
Five hours on a bike is usually something I enjoy, but my skin is itching today. I have this feeling I need to be back home.
I’ve texted Sloane a dozen times along the way checking in. She’s fine. Logically, I know she is, but something doesn’t feel right. I fight the urge to pull over and text her again but stop myself. The last time I pulled over, Tank threatened to steal my bike and make me drive the van if I didn’t get off Sloane’s tit. His words, not mine.
I’m worried that something is going to happen to her, though. Something is making my internal alarms go haywire, and I don’t know what it is. I know my brothers will watch out for her the best they can, but they aren’t me. They don’t care for her the way I do.
It’s the control thing I have always struggled with. The need to have my hands on every little thing so I know it goes right. It’s one of the main reasons I’m on this run right now.
Tank and Bear can handle this with one of the other guys. Especially with it being the Lotus. We have a really good working relationship with them. They have proven to be an amazing asset for us.
Yet, I couldn’t let them go without me. I need to have my finger on the pulse ready to make a decision if it changes at any moment.
Today, I am regretting that need within me. It has me torn in two. Part of me needs to be here, making sure everything runs smoothly.
The other part needs to be the one watching Sloane and making sure she is safe. Hearing her tell me that I meant something to her did something to me. I’ve never been a rock for anyone but Smoke. Even with him, it’s different. I’m his best friend and right-hand man, but we don’t rely on each other the way Sloane relies on me.
She said I made her feel safe. That I provide comfort and stability for her. Knowing how she grew up, I know that means a great deal to her. She never had that, but I’m providing that for her. One day at a time I am showing her what things could be like if she wasn’t always the one worrying about everyone else.
That’s why something isn’t sitting right with me. I have this feeling she’s not as safe right now with me five hours away.
As we pull into the meetup spot, I see Fang already waiting with a few of his boys.
Turning off my bike, I resist the urge to pull my phone out and check on her once again. She is going to get annoyed with me if I keep bothering her, but the need to know she is okay is riding me hard.
“Sorry for the wait,” I tell him as I approach Fang.
“No need for apologies. We left a bit early. Everything good?” He eyes the slight twitch in my hand.
I nod, clenching my fist. “We doing a full swap?”
It’s something we have talked about before. To save time and keep questions down, we would just exchange vehicles. It requires a real trust of the other person. Smoke and I agreed that it’s time to extend that to our allies.
He whispers with one of his boys before turning back to me. “You would be okay with that?”
I understand their trepidation. It’s taking a big leap for both of us. It means that we both trust that the other isn’t trying to track us. That we will do right by one another.
I shrug. “I don’t see why not. You’ve proved you can be trusted. I hope we have too.”
He considers it a moment before nodding. “Yeah, that would be cool.”
“Good. Tank, swap keys. Go take stock with Bear,” I order my brothers.
“Loyal, take Tiny and do the same.” Fang mimics my orders.
We watch as our men exchange keys and head toward the opposite trucks.
Once they’ve gone, I move closer to Fang. My eyes keep tracking the entire area. Even if I trust Fang and his boys, it doesn’t mean shit can’t go wrong. One cop getting too nosy would be bad for us.
I’m not looking to injure law enforcement today. I would if I had to, but I’d rather not.
After a moment of silence, I clear my throat. “I want to thank you for the heads up from before. Have you heard anything else?”
He shakes his head. “Not a peep. Savage turned them down and pissed their pres off. I don’t think I will be hearing from them anytime soon. Not unless they are looking for a fight.”
I rub my hand on my face. “We turned them down too. Something sketchy is going on with them. It didn’t feel right.”
“I agree. I will say they seemed very interested in who we get our product from. We didn’t tell them shit, but I think they suspect you guys.” Fang runs his hand through his hair. “Then with them saying those things about the girl, I knew things were off. Have they tried anything?”
“No, and they better think twice before they do. Besides, they can think what they want. We aren’t your supplier. Only a peg in the system.”
“You lock her down then?” His eyes hold some humor.
I grunt. “Yeah, I did.”
“Good. Seemed you might be inclined to do so.”
“I don’t know what I was thinking. Life in the MC isn’t easy. She deserves better,” I admit.
“I get it, brother. She won’t find anyone to love her harder, though. I’ll keep an ear out for the Crossbones. We have too much shit going on to deal with their shit. Let us know if you need backup, though. You seem like good people.”
Holding out my hand, I shake his. “You too, Fang. Let me know if you need any help cleaning house.”
We each head back to our bikes as our brothers give the signal everything is kosher. Then we head back home.
The only thought in my head is unloading this shit, then begging Sloane to come see me.
I’m a sucker for the girl, but I can’t stop myself.
I need her.
I never wanted a woman in my life, but then she walked in, and I was a goner.
All I can hope is that I’m not making a big mistake by letting her in.