Chapter Twenty
I dropped Gunner off two hours ago, and I already miss him.
It’s crazy. Sometimes I like to sit and think about the day I met Gunner. The way he was a complete prick to me. How much I hated him. I knew he was going to be a problem for me.
I never imagined that several months later I would be riding his cock on the regular. I also didn’t anticipate the need that would settle in my chest for him.
I’m in love with the guy.
There is no doubt about it for me, but I have no idea what to do about it.
I’m so unsettled that sitting at the house doesn’t even appeal to me. Besides, Lee is working with Crow on some housing project. He left before Gunner even stopped by this morning.
I wish Mom was here. I miss hanging out with her. It’s been a long time since we had a mother-daughter day. Whenever she is home, she is often sleeping.
Instead of staying here, I head out to my car. When I spot Shirley, I walk over to her.
“I’m going to run to the grocery store. Do you need me to pick you up anything?” I ask her.
She smiles. “Thank you dear, but I’m okay. Hey, can you ask your guest not to park in front of my driveway? I needed to get to a doctor’s appointment and had to wave him over. Not sure why he didn’t park in your driveway. It was empty.”
I frown. “I didn’t have anyone over. Are you sure he was a guest for us?”
She shrugs. “He went around the back of the house. Looked like a Saints guy to me. Figured he was fixing more stuff on your house. Especially when he pulled up in an old truck.”
If he was in a truck, it could have been Crow. Still weird that he would go around the back of the house.
“What time was this?” I ask her.
“I had to leave about six to get over to Mobile on time,” she tells me.
That’s about the time Lee would have left, I think. It must have been Crow.
“I’ll let him know. Sorry about that.”
“Not a big deal, dear.”
I say my goodbyes and head to my car. I make a mental note to tell Gunner to let the guys know to avoid Shirley’s place. She’s been so good to me that I would hate for her to miss an appointment because of them.
The drive to the store is uneventful, but I smile anyway. The air is working really well in this thing now. I no longer have to sweat. The radio even plays music.
I’m as giddy as a kid on Christmas.
I know I don’t need to do anything for him, but I decide I’m going to anyway.
Heading into the store, I grab a cart and grab some of our normal food items. As usual, I keep a count of my spending on my calculator.
Deciding to skip out on the fresh fruit, I make my way to the refrigerated section. I can’t bake for shit. Nor can I cook very well. Still, I know that Gunner has a sweet tooth. He’s done so much for me that I can forgo my fruit for some chocolate chip cookies.
Reading the back real quick, I smile at how simple it is. Pull them apart and put them on a cookie sheet. Sounds simple enough.
Throwing it in my basket, I suddenly feel like there are eyes on me. Carefully, I look around.
That’s when I see him. One of the bikers that had come to the shop before. The day that Gunner told me to go home.
Pretending I don’t notice him, I go a few aisles over. The guy follows me.
My heart starts to race. Shit.
I have no clue what to do. Do I call Gunner? Wait, no. He’s not in town right now, though. He couldn’t tell me where he was going, but he could tell me that he wouldn’t be close.
My mind is whirling when I come around another corner and run into someone. I gasp and jump back. Only it’s not the biker from before. Instead, it is Prospect One.
“You okay? You seemed to be wandering. I wanted to check in,” he asks.
“Are you watching me?”
He smiles. “It’s a high honor to be asked to watch an old lady.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think I have that title.”
“Yet.” His smile grows.
“Whatever.” I roll my eyes, looking around once more. “Did you see another biker-looking dude in here?”
He frowns. “No. Do you want me to check?”
I shake my head. “Can I maybe go to the clubhouse? I’m not sure I want to go home.”
“Of course. You’re always welcome. I’ll follow you.”
The uneasiness from before lifts at his words. Gunner might not be here, but he left someone to watch over me. I’m still safe.
We check out, then the prospect does what he promised. He follows me from the store all the way into the gates of the clubhouse. He doesn’t let me out of his sight until I go inside, finding Kelly working in the kitchen.
“Hey girl, what are you doing here?” she asks.
“I’m not sure, really. I felt like this is where I needed to be,” I admit softly.
She smiles at me, looking at the bag in my hand. “What’s that?”
“Oh, cookies. I wanted to make them for Gunner. The prospect took the rest of my stuff and said he was taking it to my house. Is that normal?”
She nods. “They are trying to impress, so they want to do anything they can for members or their women. I mean, he probably would have done it even if he wasn’t a prospect. He’s a good kid. Came from a bad home. Still, that’s part of the reason.”
“So I shouldn’t feel guilty.”
“No way. Now get those cookies over here. You can help me make my famous five layer dip. We are having a club party tonight. You can stay for it. I’ll make sure to hang out with you until Gunner gets back.”
My cheeks heat. “What if Gunner doesn’t want me here?”
Kelly scoffs. “Get real, babe. Gunner is going to be happy he doesn’t have to hunt you down. You’ll likely end up locked in his room for the night. Now cookies?”
I smile at her. “Cookies.”
At our last stop, I got a message from Smoke.
Smoke: Sloane’s here.
Those words erased every bit of fatigue that had settled in from the long drive. My girl is sitting there waiting for me.
It feels hella good to have that. Knowing that in a couple of hours I will be home and able to hold on to her. It had me driving a bit faster than I normally would.
I’m grateful when we pull into the warehouse quicker than we anticipated.
“You have a fire under your ass?” Tank asks as he climbs out of the van.
“I want to be home. You guys got this?” I ask, and Bear gives me an odd look.
I get it. I really do. This isn’t me. I don’t rely on the others to do things. I do them myself so I know they are done right.
I’m anxious to see her, though. It’s another fifteen minutes to the clubhouse. If I wait here with them, that will turn into an hour.
“Go. We got this,” Bear finally says.
“Thanks, brother.”
He nods, turning back to Tank.
I don’t wait for him to change his mind. I jump back on my bike and fly over to the clubhouse. As soon as I pull in, my stomach starts to churn.
I forgot about the club party tonight. That means debauchery will be going on beyond those doors. Sloane isn’t fully claimed yet. She doesn’t wear my patch. That makes her vulnerable.
The thought has my steps coming faster.
Then I step inside, and my whole world stops.
Sloane is there. She looks gorgeous with her messy bun, T-shirt, and cutoff shorts. It’s nothing I haven’t seen on her before.
That’s not what has my blood starting to boil.
She’s not alone.
I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t to see her surrounded by a group of my brothers. It’s obvious they are playing cards, but my rational mind isn’t with me right now.
All I can see is Sloane fawning all over my brothers. She’s seeking out another because I wasn’t here. I’m not enough.
I never am.
“Are you fucking serious?” I growl as I storm up to the table.
Everyone turns to look at me. That’s when the red fades a little as I see Jagger and Fox on either side of her. Crow and Lee are there too.
“Excuse me?” Sloane folds her arms over her chest as she looks at me.
She’s not sleeping with them. Stop being a psychopath.
If only it were that easy.
Turning from her, I stalk down the hall. I need a minute to catch my breath. Calm down.
Only, when I make it to my door, Sloane grabs my arm, spinning me.
“What is your problem, Gunner?” she hisses at me. “You embarrassed me out there. If you don’t want me here, tell me and I’ll go home.”
“I didn’t say that. I want you here, but I don’t want you making eyes at half my brothers while you are here. Tell me, did you enjoy me being gone? Did you scope out your next brother?”
Her eyes widen as tears start to fill them. “You think that I want one of them? After being with you?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised. All you women are the same. Always on the hunt for the next best thing.”
“Fuck you, Gunner.”
She turns to leave, but I’m not done with her yet. I grip her arm and pull her into my room.
“Let me go. We are so fucking done.”
“We are not. Sit your ass down,” I bark at her.
That’s when I notice the smell. It smells like freshly baked cookies in here. Glancing at the dresser, I see a plate of them.
Looking back at her, she looks so sad. So dejected. The guilt that settles in only pisses me off more. She was here chumming it up with my brothers, and I’m the one who feels guilty?
“I’m not some toy for you to play with. You want to think I would cheat on you with one of your friends at that? Yeah, you can go get fucked. To think I came here because I was scared. I thought I saw someone today that I didn’t want to see, and my only thought was how quickly I could get to you. So you could protect me. This is what I get for it. I can ignore a lot, Gunner, but this is one red flag that I refuse to live with.”
She goes to move past me again, but I stop her. My anger is fading as her words hit me.
“Who did you see?”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s my problem, not yours. Let me go.”
“No. I fucked up, Sloane. I get it. I overreacted. I’m sorry.” I pull her into my chest.
She remains stiff as she sniffles. “Sorry isn’t enough.”
I realize that I never told her about my past. She has no idea why that might have set me off. How can I be mad at her when she didn’t even know?
Moving her to the bed, I push her to sit, taking a seat next to her.
“When I was a kid, my mother left. She said she would be back, and then she never came. She left me with my father and the club. Back then, the guys were tougher. They believed their sons needed to learn how to be men at a young age. I lost my entire childhood because my mother refused to stick around. I wasn’t enough for her to want to own up to her responsibilities.”
I rub my hand on my face as I decide what I want to reveal about the second part.
“I’m so sorry, Gunner. I am. You didn’t deserve that. But it’s no excuse to treat me shitty.”
“I know. Please let me get all of this out.”
She nods for me to go on, so I do.
“When I was sixteen, I thought I found the love of my life. She was everything to me. I would have given her the entire world if she let me. Hell, I wouldn’t be here if she hadn’t done what she did. I would be with her back in Boston. I loved her, Sloane. There’s no doubt in my head about it. I thought she felt the same. Then I found her fucking the quarterback of the football team. She said that she loved me, but she needed variety. The worst fucking part is I used to hang out with that fucker. We all did. So she essentially fucked someone I thought was a friend. It took me a while to get out of that funk. I threw myself into the club life. Committed to being a brother and started prospecting as soon as I turned seventeen.”
“So when you saw me with them…” She trails off.
“PTSD maybe? I was triggered. I loved her, Sloane, but she doesn’t even touch the way you make me feel. If I was in love with her, then you have owned me. Love isn’t strong enough to describe how I feel. I walked in and saw you with them, and my heart shattered. I lashed out without thinking it through. I know that. I knew it when I did it. I couldn’t stop myself, though. I’m fucked up. You deserve better than me. We both know this. I won’t let you go, though. I can’t. You’ve become my lifeline.”
“Pierce.”
Her hand reaches up to cup my cheek. I lean into it.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m praying like hell you’ll give it to me. I love you, Trouble. I can’t lose you. Not now.”
“You’re not losing me,” she whispers, pressing her lips to mine. “I’m here. I always will be.”
“I’m scared one day you will realize I’m a loser and fucking bolt. That I’m not enough like they did.” The words tumble from my mouth.
She shakes her head, making her hair fly around. “Never. You are everything I want and need. You don’t have to worry about me leaving because there is no one who would love me the way you do. You make me feel safe. Cared for. I can be myself around you with no concern as to whether or not you will use it against me later. Now, we need to come to some agreements. I won’t put up with being accused of cheating. Nor will I allow you to speak to me the way you did, but I do love you, Pierce. You’re my Gunner. The man who sets me on fire while keeping me grounded. I don’t want to lose that either.”
Pushing my forehead against hers, I look right into her eyes and make her a promise. “I will never do it again. If I do, I give you permission to stab me. Or shoot me. I can teach you to shoot. I trust you, Sloane. I think that’s what scared me most. I have all this trust in you. It makes me feel vulnerable. I won’t let my fear stop me from loving you, though. I will treat you right. You will never have to be embarrassed by me again.”
I hate the way the tears have dried on her face. I want to wash them all away.
“Relationships take work. Don’t make me promises you can’t be sure you will keep. I understand now what set you off. If I know, then I can help alleviate it. Your brothers are my friends. That’s all. We can work through this together. We fix what is broken and move on. Are you okay with that?”
I press my lips to hers. “More than okay. Will you shower with me?”
She nods as she kisses me deeper.
Standing, I pull her up with me, keeping our lips together. Then I pick her up, loving how she fits so perfectly against me.
Walking with her, I stumble a few times, but we make it to the bathroom. Then I turn on the water before setting her on the counter.
“I’m going to prove to you that I love you.”
“You don’t need to,” she tells me. “I already know.”
I shake my head. “I need to do this.”
“Okay.”
Usually I’m rough with her. I like the game we play where I’m her daddy and she’s my little brat.
That’s not what this is, though. This is me showing her why she’s my old lady. Even if I haven’t asked her yet.
Softly, I remove her clothing. Then I remove mine.
Picking her up, I step under the spray of water. Then I methodically start the process of taking care of her.
I fucked up. I could have lost her.
She’s a good person though. She is willing to give me another chance.
I won’t take her for granted.
I might have had trust issues before her, but I’m learning that maybe, just maybe, I can’t hold her to others’ mistakes.
I need to take a leap of faith and hope to God she doesn’t break my trust.
Running my hands through her hair, I slowly massage the shampoo into it. She moans at the touch.
Once it’s clean, I take the body wash and wash her body, starting at her shoulders. I pay close attention to her breasts and her pussy. I even circle her ass a few times.
She’s panting by the time I’m done.
I wash myself quickly before shutting off the water.
Neither of us says a word. It’s almost as if the air is charged, and we both know talking would set it off.
I dry us both off before carrying her into the bedroom. I lay her on my bed before positioning myself over top of her. Then I kiss her.
Her legs fall open on either side of me as her nails dig into my back, pulling me closer.
I devour her lips, hoping she can feel every promise on them.
I will always love you.
I will keep you safe.
I am yours.
Then I position myself at her entrance. I slide in slowly, loving the way her back arches against me. I keep a slow pace, staring into her eyes. She’s right there with me. Her breaths are coming faster, but she is still with me.
When she moans out my name, her body clenching around me, I let myself release as well. Then I kiss her until her breathing returns to normal.
“I love you, Sloane.”
The words are whispered, but she hears them.
“I love you, Pierce.”
I will spend every day for the rest of my life proving it to her.