Chapter Thirty
“ Y ou fancy the queen, yes?” Vivienne asked, nearly making me spit my mead out right at the dinner table.
“What do you mean by that?” I shot back, coughing as I tried to regain my composure. Luckily the rest of the great hall was full of chatter and laughter so no one looked our way.
“I mean that you wish to kiss her,” Vivienne replied, taking a pert sip of her own drink.
Having my sister so close again was wonderful in many ways, but she was also the only person in Logres who dared to question me like this without fear of meeting the sharp end of my blade.
“What could possibly have convinced you of such a thing?” Even to my own ears my question sounded too high-pitched and false.
Vivienne’s blonde brows lifted as she glanced from me to the head table where Guinevere was busily chatting with Arthur. The two seemed closer than ever—not to mention Gawain’s constant presence hovering just behind them.
The three of them seemed to move in sync with one another, further highlighting that they had indeed come together as a pack.
It was also not lost on me that both Bedivere and Merlin seemed to be missing mealtime with more regularity. I had seen the pair taking a walk outside earlier, their faces serious as they spoke.
I had known that they had grown up together when they were boys, but even still I knew that they had never been as close as they seemed to be now.
And it all seemed to hinge on the omega who was throwing her head back and laughing. The sound carried over the cacophony of voices, reaching my ears with a sweetness that made me want to get up and go find out exactly what had made her laugh like that.
Vivienne eyed me, her lips pressing into a thin line. “Perhaps because you cannot seem to keep your eyes off of her, Lance.”
Jerking my head away from the head table, I just shook my head. “Do not say words you do not understand out loud, Vivienne.”
Vivienne had seemed to adjust to life in Camelot with an ease that surprised me and her personality seemed to be blooming like a rose as well. Back in the castle of our father, Vivienne was quiet more often than not so as not to trigger King Ban’s wrath, now she said what she felt, spurred on by the queen who seemed to do the same.
The pair had grown closer than I ever thought possible for two omegas, and while Guinevere never allowed my sister into the room she shared with the king, they were often seen walking arm-in-arm around the castle and whispering in each other’s ears.
I had thought that Vivienne would be treated poorly as many of the omegas in Benoic could hardly stomach being around one another. Our stepmother was such an omega and Vivienne had shared with me that she was hardly allowed out of her rooms during the day and was only allowed out in the garden when the queen was not out and about.
It angered me that my only little sister had been treated so poorly and I had all but ignored it in my quest to become one of Arthur’s knights.
“I may not understand such kinds of love,” Vivienne told me with a sniff, her eyes darting back over to the queen. “But even I can see you feel for her.”
“She is a married woman,” I reminded her.
Vivienne snorted and rolled her eyes. “As if I have not heard the rumors from the servants. They say that our queen accepts more than her husband into her bed—”
I slapped a hand over Vivienne’s mouth.
“ Hush ,” I hissed frantically, eyeing Agravaine who sat closest to us. The alpha, who had been previously one of the most raucous members of our round table, seemed to be defeated after his disinheritance by his father. But the alpha paid us no mind as he stared into his cup with a doleful expression.
Turning back to my sister, I shot her a look that could curdle milk. “You would do well to never repeat that to anyone , Sister, or I fear you will put your beloved queen in danger.”
I stood, pushing my plate away.
“Lancelot—” Vivienne called after me, guilt in her voice, but I ignored her and left the hall.
It was blessedly quiet outside and I let the cool air calm my frayed nerves.
Arthur, Guinevere, and Gawain, it seemed, were playing with fire and I did not know how to stop it. These rumors would continue to spread until they either denied them outright or acknowledged them and faced the wrath of a people who could not understand what a pack was.
And hells if I was not jealous with the desire to join in myself. Danger be damned.
I had found myself staring at Guinevere more and more with no recourse, watching the way her pulse would thrum in her neck during our few archery lessons, or how her honeysuckle scent would linger on my clothing long after I assisted with her form.
It was all, as she would mutter under her breath when she thought none were listening, fucked.
When I finally made it to the archery range, I lit a few of the torches to cut through the inky blackness of the night and let out a breath into the crisp air.
It was nearing summer now, but the evenings were still chilly. All I needed to do was fire off a few arrows to work through my frustration, that was it, and then I could go back inside and pretend as if I cared not for what was happening before my very eyes.
That I cared not if I was left behind as Guinevere and Arthur formed their pack.
Perhaps they would replace me with Merlin—Guinevere seemed to enjoy his presence more than mine after all these days. It would make sense for her to pick the wizard over me—I would not even inherit my father’s kingdom and had nothing to offer her.
I would not rule a kingdom like Arthur, nor could I soothe her feelings such as Gawain could. Not even my presence was as steadfast as Bedivere’s. That was something that could only come with age, and at this point, I would not be surprised if I fell in battle thanks to the constantly encroaching Saxons before I could prove my worth.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
As if my mind had physically conjured the omega up, I saw Guinevere step from behind a tree just as I was about to nock my first arrow wearing a dark cloak over the pale green dress she had been wearing at dinner.
I ignored her for a moment, pulling back the bowstring and sending the arrow off into the darkness. I cared not if I hit anything this night, nor would I be fetching the arrows until morning light came again, hopefully bringing clarity with it.
“I do not know what a penny is,” I told her simply as I grabbed another arrow. “Who told you I was out here?”
Guinevere nibbled on her lower lip, her hands wringing around the thick plait of hair that rested over her shoulder. “Vivienne.”
“She had no right to do so,” I growled, firing off another arrow.
Guinevere drew closer, bringing her mouthwatering scent right along with her. “She was worried about you.”
“So she chooses to send the object of my troubles to me?” I asked, biting out each word and filling them with the frustration I was feeling.
Guinevere reeled back away from me as if I had struck her.
“What have I ever done to you ?” Guinevere asked, her cheeks flushing with anger. “I’m not the one who has been rejecting people at every turn!”
I opened my mouth to speak but she held up a hand to stop me. “No! No more of this weird ass dancing around the point. We’re hashing it out here and now so you can stop being such a jackass. I’m the one who was yanked out of my own time and told suddenly that I have a ‘fated’ pack where half of you can’t seem to even stand me let alone like me. I didn’t even want any of this in the first place, so why am I the one who has to feel bad about all of this!”
Guilt filled me as I realized her eyes were filled with tears, all of my earlier frustrations forgotten completely. “Guinevere—”
“Stop trying to talk over me!” Guinevere shouted, her voice echoing off of the tall trees around us. “I like you—though lord knows why when you seem to have two moods: angry or brooding—and I’m tired of it. I came out here to check on you not to argue and you are being an ass!”
She stopped yelling, her chest heaving as she glared at me with narrowed brown eyes.
Then, after a few beats of silence, she gestured calmly to me. “Okay, your turn.”
I had nothing to say, nothing I could say to such a thing. Vivienne’s words about my earlier staring were repeating in my mind over and over.
“Would…” I began, clearing my throat. “Would you like to shoot some arrows?”
Guinevere’s expression slackened with disbelief as she rolled her eyes at me.
“ No , I don’t want to shoot some arrows,” she told me decisively. “But I want to do this.”
She reached out and grabbed the front of my tunic in her fist, dragging me forward, my feet stumbling through the dirt, until she was finally able to pull my lips to hers.
Her lips were soft like satin as they moved against mine and her honeysuckle scent invaded my nose stronger than ever as I finally gave into the impulse and wrapped my arms around her.
Guinevere tasted of rainfall and it took me a moment to realize that it was actually raining around us. It was easy to realize that her heightened emotions had triggered her magic, and if it had been anyone else, I would have felt discomfort of such a powerful display of something I did not understand.
But instead I inhaled a lungful of rain-soaked earth and fresh honeysuckle deep into my body.
Then she was pulling away, her expression shuttered and neutral once more. “That’s it.”
“Pardon?” I asked, sounding incredibly dull.
Guinevere crossed her arms over her chest. “That is all you are getting until you decide to pull your head out of your ass and truly get to know me for who I am, not who you think I am. I’m not a monster for wanting a pack and you aren’t being disloyal to Arthur for wanting me.”
“How—?” She had read me as if I were a book and my face must have shown my surprise because the omega let out an inelegant snort.
“Lancelot, it was as clear to me as if you had shouted it at me. You may think you hide your emotions well, but I’ve spent a lot of time watching you so I think I’ve got a pretty good idea of what you’ve been thinking.”
My face warmed inexplicably and I hoped the darkness of the forest around us concealed it.
“Now, figure yourself out or I’m going to really make the gods mad by drowning you,” Guinevere said, pointing at me before she turned and pulled the hood of the dark woolen cloak she was wearing over her hair again before venturing back off into the forest.
I had barely uttered a word during our entire conversation, but as I stood alone in the forest, I could not help but reach up and touch my lips.
“You have been watching me?” I wondered into the empty air, but the forest around me was silent as I continued to stare after the omega who had come in like a storm before leaving me off-balance once again.