Chapter 9
where’s riley?
HAYDEN
“Can you imagine? He dropped to the floor and did some move he calls the caterpillar.” Head thrown back, Zoe laughs.
She’s tall and fit, with a pair of legs that have held my attention since the moment she asked if she could join me.
I haven’t been discreet, and she’s made a point of showing them off, shifting and crossing one leg over the other.
If she moves much more, her skirt will ride up so high, I’ll know the color of her underwear.
Can’t say I’d mind.
“What did you do?” I ask.
She bites her red-painted lip. “I laughed.” A tiny shrug follows. “I can’t imagine a world in which I’d agree to go on a date with him after he did all that in front of my friends.”
Her self-confidence is admirable, though she sounds a lot more snobbish than the women I usually gravitate toward.
“For sure.” I nod.
She sidled up to the table just after a third guy approached Riley.
Yet another one I wasn’t impressed with.
When Zoe asked if I was Hayden Hale, I considered denying it, but I’d been here, watching Riley flirt with other men for over an hour, and I was getting pissed. So, needing a distraction, I said yes.
When Zoe asked if she could join me, I said yes again.
The moment her ass hit the booth, she started gushing about my music, our shows, her favorite Sabotage songs.
She eagerly explained why the lyrics from “Flawless”—the song I wrote for Piper, to earn her forgiveness—speak to her.
She’s been to several of our shows, including the one in LA.
She stroked my ego by fangirling, but more than that, our interaction reminded me of when life was so much easier.
She knows the Hade I used to be: the lead singer of Sabotage, the guy who always knew how to have fun.
She doesn’t know the shell of a person I’ve turned into lately.
This man who can’t write or play, who prefers solitude.
Zoe isn’t interested in Hayden Hale, not really. She wants Hade, the lead singer of Sabotage.
And I like it.
She leans in and puts a hand on my arm. “Dance with me,” she tells me.
I only hesitate for a moment. When she grasps my wrist, the decision is easy. I didn’t come here to mope, after all.
Strobe lights flash and strong basslines encircle us as she weaves through the throng of people, her hand clutching mine.
Sweat and perfume and alcohol seep into me, reminding me of nights out after shows.
I wasn’t always up for clubbing, but when I was, Owen was right there beside me.
He was always ready for a good time, and I loved him for that.
Damn. This is not the right fucking place to be hit by the double Gs: grief and guilt. They can wait till I’m home.
Zoe stops, turns around, and presses her back to my chest. I place my hands on her hips.
It’s like a reflex, no more than that. Despite the way I enjoyed her flirting, I feel nothing.
So, I close my eyes and try to lose myself in her.
In the moment. In the rhythm of the EDM. In the heat of the packed dance floor.
I’ve barely found peace before “The Ultimatum” plays.
Memories assault me, drowning me, pummeling me with reminders of all my poor decisions.
Nine years ago, when I found out Piper was hooking up with my brother, I forced her to do something she wasn’t ready to do, and I nearly destroyed our friendship.
Like a butterfly effect, my ultimatum drove her away, and I lost my muse.
I couldn’t write a fucking song until she finally forgave me.
I was an idiot, and I almost lost my best friend because of it.
The memories dissipate, replaced with newer concerns.
What would she do if she found out I promised her little sister that I’d look after her, only to brood when men approached her?
What would she think if she knew I promised Riley I wasn’t here to meet anyone, and then, rather than helping her like I said I would, I spent the night flirting with this woman?
I’m almost thirty, but I’m acting as childishly as I did nine years ago. The guilt brewing in the back of my mind spreads through me quickly, making my chest feel tight.
Sucking in a painful breath, I scan the crowd, looking for Riley. I need to know she’s okay. The whole reason I’m here is for her. When I don’t see her shimmering black minidress, I search for Nastya. Where are they?
Panic rises within me until I finally find them.
Thankfully, they’re not too far away.
The relief that fact brings is dashed when I catch sight of Riley’s face. Her eyes are glassy, her lips tipped up in a loose smile. I’ve seen her like this several times since her senior year in high school, when she’d call me to pick her up from a party. She’s drunk.
What’s worse? She’s not alone. Yes, Nastya is close by, watching cautiously, but Riley’s with a man. One I don’t recognize. And they’re dancing too fucking close.
Where did he even come from?
The last time I checked, she was talking to a guy in a white shirt. This one is covered in tats. His black tee is ready to burst at the seams, and he’s wearing black leather pants.
Who wears leather pants to a club in fucking May?
He curls his arm around her waist and pulls her to him, and my blood simmers. The way she laughs, her hand on his chest, playfully pushing him away, only makes my irritation grow. In response, he tightens his hold, keeping his body moving with hers.
One glance at Nastya has the alarm bells in my head going off. With how she’s scowling, Riley’s new dance partner is on her shit list. He’s on mine too.
He’s got her plastered to him, leaving no space between their bodies. This whole situation feels off, but I can’t put my finger on why.
My stomach roils and my skin crawls, though maybe it’s guilt. Maybe this guy isn’t the issue. Maybe I am. I came here for her, yet I gave up so damn easily and allowed myself to be distracted by Zoe.
Regardless, I can’t stand the way this guy is touching Ry. I want his hands off her, right fucking now.
Instead of focusing on Zoe, who’s grinding her ass on my groin, I watch Riley. Slowly, I shift, moving closer to her. I need to make sure she’s okay. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.
You sure it’s not because you’re jealous?
My inner voice is my worst enemy.
“God, I love this song,” Zoe’s high-pitched voice drifts to me over the music. She turns and drapes her arms over my shoulders, bringing her face close to mine. “Having fun?”
Yup. A shitload.
With a distracted nod, I stare over her shoulder.
Instantly, the set of blue eyes I’ve known forever locks on me, and Riley’s expression morphs into a scowl.
I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t the anger radiating from her.
When she looks away as if she can’t bear to look at me, my gut lurches.
Wow. Why does it hurt so much?
“How long are you planning to stay?” Zoe asks, bringing her mouth to my ear.
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“Could I convince you to leave with me?”
She sucks my earlobe into her mouth, and I shudder. It’s not a reaction I’ve ever had in the company of a hot girl, but I’m too fucked up to overthink it. All I want is to pull Riley away from that guy.
Before I can come up with an excuse for Zoe and storm over to Riley, the dude in the leather pants lunges in and kisses her.
It’s not graceful or smooth. It’s not the way a man eases in to explore a woman he’s connected to.
No, it’s hard and fast, and he grinds his hips against her in a disgusting move, like he’s rubbing his erection over her body.
No longer capable of pretending to be unfazed, I drop my hands from Zoe’s hips and take a step back.
Eyebrows pulled together, she peers up at me. “Is something wrong?”
“I need to take care of something. Sorry.”
Without waiting for a response, I skirt around her. As I head toward Riley, a hundred scenarios play in my mind. I’m steps from them when she pushes the guy using all her strength. Her eyes are wide, her jaw unhinged in shock.
The dude clutches at her wrist, but she swats his hand away. Her gaze darts toward Nastya, who’s already stepping up to her.
Instead of backing off, the jackass puffs up and steps in close, looming over them.
“Shit.”
In two strides, I’m beside him. I gently clasp Riley’s wrist, desperate to take her away from here so I can ensure this asshole won’t bother her again.
But rather than step closer to me, she jerks back. Flattening her lips, she folds her arms over her chest and glares…at me. Really?
“C’mon, let’s get back to our table,” I insist.
She lifts her chin. “No.”
The guy whirls my way. “Who the hell—” His eyes bulge as recognition hits. “No way. You’re Hayden Hale! I fucking love your music,” he slurs.
“Thanks.” I nod. Then, calmly, because I hate being rude to my fans, I say, “Sorry, she’s coming with me. She’s my best friend’s little—”
“For fuck’s sake!” Riley drops her arms and stomps away as best she can in heels.
I look at Nastya, thinking she’ll clue me in on what just happened. Instead, she scoffs and shakes her head, as if I’ve disappointed her. She follows Ry, and I take off too, hot on her heels.
Riley has always been a fun, friendly drunk. What the fuck has gotten into her?
We catch up to Riley just as she approaches our table. When I call her name, she whips around, her eyes blazing with heat and her nostrils flaring. She’s pissed. At me.
She crosses her arms again, her shoulders pulled back. “Why did you do that? I didn’t ask you to come over.”
“You pushed him away. You looked uncomfortable.” Frowning, I take a careful step closer. “Did you really expect me not to react?”
“Honestly, yeah. That’s what you’ve done all night.”
I can’t fucking admit how much I hate seeing her with other men, so I go for the shittiest explanation ever. “Because nothing you were doing demanded my attention.”
“Or because you didn’t care.” She jabs me with one finger. “Next time? Fuck off. I can handle myself.”
“You didn’t look like you could.” The words are out before I can stop them. I’ve clearly got a death wish.
“Unbelievable!” She throws her hands in the air.
Nastya steps between us. “Time-out.” She glances at me then quickly focuses on Riley. “You need fresh air. Let’s go.” She puts her arm around Riley’s waist and steers her toward the exit.
I should stay behind, wait for them here, but I can’t fight the urge to follow them. Outside, they quickly turn left, out of my line of sight.
The chilly night air hits hard. It’s a relief after the heat of the club, but the tension doesn’t leave my shoulders. I turn to join them, but Riley’s next words make me freeze.
“You were right. I shouldn’t have let him come with us.”
My insides twist into a painful knot. I knew this was a bad idea.
“Ry,” Nastya says softly.
“I wanted to help him. I thought the distraction would be good for him, but I’m a fool,” she breathes.
“Because deep down, I thought this might be the night things change. That he would finally notice me.” She sniffles, her blonde hair a curtain hiding her face.
“But it’s time to admit he will always see me as a kid. That’s all I’ll ever be to him.”
Her voice cracks on that last sentence, and it punches a hole straight through me.
Suddenly, the weight on my shoulders is unbearable.
Because I don’t know what I’m even doing anymore.
How the hell have I never noticed?