Chapter 18
Moving Day
Ihalfway expected Neil to be waiting at the house even though he’d promised not to be there. Sean hadn’t hit him the week before, but Neil still hadn’t handled the breakup well.
When I told him I didn’t want to be with him anymore, he’d screamed, “No!” over and over again, in an increasingly frantic voice. Sean had sent me to pack a bag while Neil was still freaking out.
A part of me wondered what I would have done if I’d been alone with Neil. After twenty years of making everything okay for him, would I have given in to make him happy?
I’d been staying at a hotel for the past week.
Sean had told me I could stay with him and Derrick for a while, but I didn’t know Derrick very well.
Besides, I’d leaned on Sean enough. He was even helping me move my things out of the house today and into the new apartment I’d rented.
Jack was supposed to meet us at the house to help as well.
I hadn’t seen Jack since we’d woken up together in his apartment above the bar.
Sean had asked if he could tell him a bit of what was going on so he could ask him to lend some muscle for the move.
Letting Sean tell him had seemed easiest. I was surprised he hadn’t told Jack about the breakup immediately, to be honest. Despite all his open friendliness, Sean was a tighter vault than he let on.
I hadn’t gone to the bar last night. I’d been at the new apartment accepting a furniture delivery and had felt too tired afterward.
Since I’d started going to The Muse, I had only missed one Friday before that.
I imagined Jack’s jacket saving my barstool until closing time.
Was I pathetic to like that possibility?
Sean turned the moving truck onto the street with Neil’s house. Jack’s red truck sat at the curb, and I sent him a small wave out the passenger window as Sean angled the truck and backed it into the empty driveway.
Jack caught the passenger door as it swung open, holding up his arms to help me down. Warmth filled me as he eased me to the ground, his hands lingering on my waist as he searched my eyes.
“You okay?” he asked quietly.
I hesitated, glancing toward the garage. Was Neil at the house? I really hoped not. “I will be,” I said, glancing back at Jack.
He frowned before nodding, letting me go, and stepping back. “I brought boxes. Sean said you still had to pack?”
“Yeah. I didn’t have time to grab much last week.” I rubbed at the wrist wrap. I was already sick of wearing it, but Sean had been stubborn about it when he came to pick me up and hadn’t seen it on.
“What’s this?” Jack reached for my wrapped wrist. “Did you get hurt?”
“Yeah, she did,” Sean said, coming around the truck. “So no letting her lift anything heavy. Only clothes and pillows for her.”
I rolled my eyes at him, pulling my wrist away from Jack. “It’s not that bad.”
Sean slung an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a quick side hug. “You’d say that even if you’d broken it.”
Jack’s eyes moved between the two of us. “I’ll start grabbing the boxes from the truck.”
Sean waited for him to get near his truck before he spoke. “I was light on the details when I told him. Figured you could decide what you wanted to share.”
I nodded, looking at the garage again. Pulling away from Sean, I approached the keypad.
My hand trembled when I lifted it to punch in the code.
Neil’s car wasn’t inside, letting me pull in a steadier breath.
I owed him another conversation, one where he wasn’t screaming in denial, but I wasn’t ready for that yet.
Sean cupped my shoulders, rubbing my tensed-up neck with his thumbs. “Worried he was here?”
“He’s been trying to talk.” I’d been screening calls from both him and his parents.
“He showed up at the bar last night,” Sean admitted. “I let him see you weren’t there, but I wouldn’t let him in. Pretty sure he was drunk again.”
Was Neil spiraling that badly? My stomach twisted at the thought.
“Hey, that’s not on you to fix,” Sean said. “I just thought you should know in case he shows up again next Friday. You’re coming back, right?”
I liked it there. I wanted to say yes. “I don’t want to cause problems at the bar.”
“It’s not you causing problems,” Jack said, setting the first stack of boxes down. “We missed you last night. Didn’t feel the same without you.”
My scalp tingled at his words.
Sean nudged Jack’s arm. “Should I tell her how you kept her seat open for her all night despite her letting you know she wasn’t coming?”
“Like you didn’t stare at that barstool all night,” Jack shot back, but his ears were red as I watched him head back toward his truck.
Giddiness flowed through me, chasing the rest of my tension away. I blinked down at the boxes. “Wait, he’s getting more? I don’t have that much stuff to pack.”
“What are you talking about? You’ve lived here for years, right?” Sean moved to the back of the moving truck to roll up the door.
“It’s not all mine, though. We bought a lot together. Neil has as much right to it as I do.”
Sean made a scoffing sound as he worked on the ramp. “Please. You were the one making more money, right? I bet you paid for most of it.” He jostled the ramp to make sure it was sturdy, walking back up to grab the dolly from the truck. “Anything you want, you take. No regrets, all right?”
“I’ve bought new furniture. The big thing I’m taking is the bedroom set. That’s—well, that’s mine. He was upset when I bought it.”
“It’s a beautiful set,” Jack said, dumping another stack of boxes. He held a roll of packing tape in his hand and bent to put together the first box.
“Then we’ll get the bed first,” Sean said.
I crouched down near where Jack was taping the boxes. “I can help with this.” My hands replaced his where he was holding down the flaps. Jack smiled at me as he taped the bottom of the first box.
“All right, we’ll let you do that part. First, walk us through the place and point out any furniture you want to take.” Sean’s hands slipped under my arms, lifting me to my feet again. “Jack and I will load all that in first since it’ll take up the most space.”
The house felt different when I led them inside. Empty somehow, even though everything was right where I’d left it.
“Dining room table?” Sean asked, walking through past the kitchen.
That was the place Neil liked to sit when we needed to talk. I could picture how he’d sat there waiting for me to come home our last morning together. “No, not that.” I said no to most of the living room furniture, too, only saying yes to the end table with the built-in lamp I liked to read near.
“Oh, and the record player.” I moved over to it in the corner and ran my finger over the needle.
“I used to listen to old records with the Millers every evening.” My heart clenched as I remembered.
The memories were good ones, but I always missed the Millers when I played a record.
It had been a while since I had. “All the records are mine. Well, they were theirs, but I brought them here, and Neil doesn’t like them anyway.
” The few times I’d played one, he’d made a face even though he’d told me it was fine.
“We’ll save them toward the end since they’re delicate,” Jack said, moving up beside me. “Though my fingers itch to look through all that vinyl.”
I smiled up at him. “I’m not sure you’ll like it. Mrs. Miller had a huge thing for Barry Manilow.” She used to get a look in her eye when she stared at his image on a particular album, and Mr. Miller would pull her onto his lap and pretend to be jealous.
“He was quite a heartthrob in his time,” Jack said, bending toward one of the record cases.
“No, you don’t,” Sean said, catching his arm in a tug. “Once you start digging into that music, you’ll be no good to me. Furniture first.”
Jack laughed but let himself be pulled away. I followed behind them, my arms wrapping around my stomach, wishing I could hold on to this fluttering feeling.
The office was mostly my stuff, and I pointed out my at-home work desk and the bookshelves I wanted to take. Then we made it into the bedroom I shared with Neil.
“This thing is massive.” Sean moved toward the bed frame, his hands wrapping around the top metal bar.
Something about the image made me clench between my legs. What I was imagining was all sorts of wrong. I’d always pictured being the one tied up to it before.
“We’ll have to take this apart to move it, but that looks easy enough. Good thing I brought my tools.” I could breathe again when he released the bar to crouch near the bottom of the frame, studying the screws.
“Sorry, it’s pretty heavy,” I admitted, looking around at the matching nightstands and dresser with a large seashell-shaped mirror attached.
“We’ll have to detach this mirror, too.” Jack said, following me over, pressing close to the wall as he studied the way it was bolted onto the back.
“I know it’s a lot.” I looked at the furniture again. Neil had always said it was dark and heavy, and he wasn’t wrong.
“You already told me how much you love this furniture when I brought you home that one night,” Jack told me, straightening. “We came expecting to do this. It’s not too much, Hailey.”
“Okay,” I agreed, feeling a little better.
“I already warned Neil I was taking it. He should have—” My voice died as I pulled open one of the drawers he used.
All of his clothes were still there. “Oh. He didn’t empty it.
” My eyes moved around the room, seeing how empty it would be once the furniture was removed.
“I guess he didn’t have anywhere else to put his clothes. Maybe—”
Sean’s hands cupped my shoulders, turning my body toward him. “Jack, can you go grab a couple of those boxes?”
“Sure,” Jack said, his eyes lingering on me as he left.
“It’s not fair to take it all, is it?” I stared down into the full drawer. Neil would hate that Sean and Jack had seen his boxers.
“Hailey, no furniture is going to make up for him losing you,” Sean said.
My eyes lifted to his, and he pulled me in for a hug.
“You were the treasure here, not this stuff. Anything you leave isn’t going to make him feel better. Besides, you need somewhere to put your clothes, too.”
“He’s mostly been angry in the messages he left,” I whispered. “I don’t want to make that worse.”
“I’m not letting you leave behind something you obviously love.
” Sean gave me a squeeze before releasing me.
He shifted to the side to grab one of the boxes Jack had returned with, dropping it on the floor.
Then he pulled out the drawer with Neil’s underwear and undershirts, tipping it over the box.
“You can fill these empty drawers with your clothes from the closet,” he said, handing it to Jack in place of the second box.
He started pulling the next drawer out, this one full of Neil’s T-shirts.
“Why don’t you start taping together more of those boxes Jack brought? We’ll get started in here.”
I only glanced back once before leaving the room.
Packing up my life took both more and less time than I was expecting. It was a weird sensation, leaving empty spots behind throughout the house. No wonder Neil had agreed to stay away.
The bedroom had nothing but the mattress on the floor, boxes of Neil’s clothes, and a couple of naked pillows, the ones that Neil had always used.
Sean finished settling the ramp back inside its nook and pulled down the rolling door while Jack carried the last of the three cases of records to the open passenger side of his truck, setting it carefully inside.
I’d already set my key and my remote to the garage inside on the kitchen counter.
I looked back at the house one more time, feeling both tension and relief.
Walking over to the control panel for the garage, I pushed the down button, watching it lower.
Sean moved to my side, his head tilting to rest against mine.
“Ready to go?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, and it was true. I was ready. I didn’t look back again when I climbed into the passenger side of the moving truck.