Chapter 20
The Tenth Friday
It felt good to walk up to the door of The Muse again the next Friday. The hall passes had been a bit of a disaster for me, but I couldn’t regret finding the bar and meeting Sean and Jack.
Sean was waiting for me outside the door, but he wasn’t checking IDs tonight.
Edgar was on door duty, and Sean grinned at me as he pushed off the wall.
“Hey, honey.” He pulled me in for a quick hug.
When he stepped back, his gaze fell below my face.
“Gotta say; it might be a good thing I plan on staying close to you tonight.”
My hands came up to my neckline, which was a lot lower than usual.
One of my friends from my college days had taken me shopping the night before, claiming I needed a breakup wardrobe.
She’d picked out the maroon shirt, which had a deeper cut than I was used to, dipping down to knot right in the center of my breasts.
I’d enjoyed the color and the flare of the hem around my hips enough to buy it, but I’d almost changed my mind twice before leaving the apartment wearing it.
“Is it too much?” I asked, a splotchy red flush already spreading above the slopes of my breasts.
“You look amazing, though you’re always beautiful.” He kissed my forehead, linking his hand with mine. “Come on, I know someone who’s been staring at the door all night.”
Jack’s smile when he saw me formed the crinkles near his eyes that I liked best. He wasn’t wearing his typical black T-shirt with the bar logo.
Instead, he wore a black button-down shirt with the top few buttons undone and the leather jacket I secretly considered mine after he’d saved my seat with it that one night.
“For you.” The drink he set down was in an elegant tapered glass, with sparkling yellow liquid and pineapples speared on the green umbrella at the top. “I thought pineapple was fitting for tonight,” he said with a wink.
I took a sip, liking the way it fizzed against my lips. “Delicious. Thanks, Jack.”
Sean rolled his eyes as he took the seat beside me. “You didn’t have to make it for her yourself. You’re paying two other bartenders to do that tonight.”
“You are?” I asked. I’d seen Wendy, but I’d missed the tall, skinny man also behind the bar. “Are you expecting it to be busy tonight?”
“You didn’t tell her?” Sean asked. He laughed. “Oh, shit. She’s gonna freak.”
I looked from Sean to Jack. “What’s going on?”
Jack rubbed a hand over his hair. An earring I didn’t remember seeing before flashed in his ear. “My old band is performing here tonight. They asked me to play with them.”
“Really?” Giddiness rose inside me. I’d been listening to the band since I’d goaded the name out of him, but I still hadn’t seen him play yet.
“It’s been a while since I’ve played for a crowd,” he admitted. “Don’t get too excited.”
“Too late,” I said, grinning at him. I squirmed in my seat. “Now I can’t wait until the music starts.”
Jack laughed. “I have something to show you that might distract you.” He leaned over the bar, holding out his phone. “I made a spreadsheet, see? It has the details for all the records I remembered, a column for if we found it locally already, and a column for those I’ve bid on online.”
My heart thumped. “You made me a spreadsheet?” I leaned forward, scrolling down the list. He’d remembered most of the records. We’d managed to find quite a few on Sunday, but it had only been the tip of the iceberg. Restoring the collection was going to take some time.
“I figured you could add in any I missed,” Jack said. “I’ll email you the shared link.”
“Wow, from rock star to nerd in five seconds,” Sean teased.
“I love spreadsheets,” I admitted, releasing Jack’s phone.
Sean bumped my arm. “When you say it, it’s cute.”
Jack started to say something, but someone called his name from near the stage.
“Your fans await.” Sean angled his thumb toward me. “Especially this one.”
I flushed at how true that was. I literally couldn’t keep still. Jack smiled at me again before heading toward where the band was setting up.
Sean leaned into me, whispering in my ear. “See that woman hanging out near the band?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I couldn’t help but stare at her as she gave Jack a hug. He remained stiff, pulling back and giving a warmer hug to the man standing next to her, with that back slap guys often did when they hugged each other.
“That’s Stacey. She broke his heart right before he left the band.”
“They were together?” I asked, studying her closer. She had a wide, confident smile and wild, curly dark hair. “She’s beautiful.”
Sean hummed in his throat. “Maybe, but she dumped him after sleeping with his bandmate. Turned out they’d been at it a while behind his back.
She told Jack he was too clingy for her.
” Sean shook his head with a sigh. “Jack’s gotten that a lot over the years.
When he likes someone, he goes all in. Total focus. ”
That sounded like what I’d done with Neil, though the more I thought about the past, the more I realized how little Neil had reciprocated.
What would it be like to have someone else’s attention on me?
Not just anyone’s, but Jack’s attention?
Tingles danced along my scalp when he looked toward me and smiled.
I lifted my hand in a wave, but then the bandmates looked my way, and I turned toward Sean.
“He’s been taking a break from dating since his last breakup. Jack’s never been one to do the casual thing.” Sean shrugged, flagging down the tall bartender I hadn’t met to order a drink.
I glanced toward the stage again, relieved the band’s attention had shifted away from me. Jack was laughing at something the drummer said. These were people Jack used to spend a lot of time with. They knew him a lot better than I did. I wondered what they were like.
“I’ve got something for you, too,” Sean said, reaching into his back pocket. He pulled out some folded-up papers, smoothing the creases against the bar. When the bartender dropped off his drink, Sean waved a hand. “Got a pen?” he asked, thanking him when he handed him one from behind the bar.
“Is that a questionnaire?” I asked, leaning closer to the papers. At the top, it read ‘Kink Interests Checklist.’ “Sean!” I squealed, my hands trying to cover as many of the words as I could. The page was covered in terms that made me blush. Some I didn’t even know.
“Don’t overthink it,” Sean said, pushing the pen into my hand.
“You’re single now, and I think you could use some self-reflection.
From the top wish list item you’ve shared, it’s about time you got to experience new things.
This will help you figure out what interests you most.” He lifted the top two pages so I could see the bottom one.
“I started you out with some write-ins.”
I read ‘musicians’ and ‘big noses.’ “Those aren’t kinks!” I hissed.
Sean smirked at me. “Fetishes count.”
“That’s not what it is. I just…” My eyes shifted to Jack, who now had a guitar in his hands. His hands looked just right holding it. “I like what I like,” I murmured.
“Mm-hmm. I’ve got a pretty good idea what you like.”
My shoulders hunched as I looked back at him.
“Don’t worry, honey. I’m just teasing you. But I’m serious about this.” He nudged my hands off the top of the paper. “It’s pretty easy. Go with your gut. There are columns for ‘I love it,’ ‘I like it,’ ‘I’m interested,’ or ‘Not for me.’”
“This is embarrassing,” I said, scanning the form. The first few questions looked easy enough, but some of them… “What if I don’t know what something is?”
“I can explain it,” Sean offered, “or if that’s too much, you could look it up on your phone.”
“I know I’m going to regret this,” I muttered, starting on the first question. “Don’t look,” I told him.
He laughed. “I’ll pretend not to, if that helps.”
With one eye on the stage—I didn’t want to miss anything—I went through as much as I could.
Not many ended up in the ‘love’ or ‘like’ columns, since I hadn’t tried a lot of it, but the ‘interested’ column was the heaviest. There were some hard no’s as well.
My search history would never be the same.
By the time I got to the last page, which was mostly check marked ‘not for me,’ Jack had played a few beats on his guitar and Wendy was stepping up to the mic to introduce the band.
“Y’all are in for a treat,” she told the bar. “Our very own Jack Carson is going to play for you tonight.”
I folded up the papers, turning my body fully toward the stage.
Jack stepped up next to her. “Don’t get them too pumped. I’m pretty rusty, but I’m with some of the best people I’ve ever played with. No matter what I do, they’ll sound good.”
Wendy finished introducing the band, and I joined the crowd in clapping, maybe a tad too enthusiastically.
The singer of the band stepped up to the mic, adding more excitement and making a crack at Jack’s age related to how long it’d been. Jack was edging closer to forty if his bandmate was to be believed.
Jack adjusted the strap of his electric guitar one more time.
He let it hang low on his body, his hands giving it a lingering caress that made me shiver.
His back remained straight. For the first few notes, his shoulders looked high and tense, but as the song continued, he relaxed into it, a soft smile forming that made my breath catch.
I doubted I breathed at all during that first song. Sean’s arm slung around my shoulders to pull me against him.
“You like seeing him like this?” Sean asked.
I nodded, not taking my eyes off Jack for any of the songs. Sweat glistened on his face, and his hair fell over his forehead the more he leaned into the beat. I often saw his eyes stray to me, and each time he found me watching, his smile grew brighter.
When the first set ended, the other members of the band rallied around Jack with arm slaps and laughs. A part of me wished he’d come to check on me, but Stacey was talking to him, and a few other women approached him as well.