Chapter 24 #2
“He’s—” I wasn’t sure how to introduce him. Was he still a friend after yesterday? He was the only person I’d thought to call, but I couldn’t say that. His offer to be here, to just be here, meant the world to me. “A friend,” I finished, since it was the least complicated.
“Uh-huh. I bet he’s friendly.” My mom snorted as she rolled the last word in her mouth. “I guess you ain’t so loyal to that other friend of yours after all. Though after you sent me away like you don’t owe me shit, I already know you ain’t loyal.”
I ignored the second sentence. “Neil and I broke up. I don’t live here anymore, so you won’t get anything from coming here.”
“I could have aborted you, you know.”
I didn’t flinch at the taunt. I’d heard it so many times over the years I could have repeated it in my sleep, with exactly the same tone.
“Should have. Not like I got any child support out of it or nothing, not with the loser your dad was. I wouldn’t need all this medicine if I hadn’t fucked up my body pushing you out.”
Jack’s hand found my shoulder as he stood beside me, his thumb circling in a soothing motion.
My chest felt less constricted. “Drugs, Mom, not medicine. You’re using drugs, and you think you need more.” I took a breath. “You won’t find any help with that here. Not anymore.”
“Ungrateful bitch!” In her anger, she spat at me, but the saliva came out as a mist that didn’t reach me. “I ain’t leaving without the money I’m owed.”
“I don’t live here,” I said again. “I asked Neil to let me talk to you before he called the police, but if you stay, he’ll be calling them.”
“Cops don’t scare me,” she muttered, but she looked over her shoulder, her hand dipping into the pocket of her stained sweatpants. Whatever she had in her pocket, she didn’t want to be caught with it.
“Can you really afford to take the chance, Mom? Aren’t you still on parole?” I knew she was. She’d done another short stint in jail not long before.
“Always thought you were better than me. Whenever I got clean, I did it for you, so you could be with me, but you were never grateful. You always wore that look, just like you’re wearing now, looking down on me.”
The child in me had learned it wouldn’t last. Waiting for life to fall apart was worse than when the signs she was using again appeared. Even then, I had to wait for the DCF visits to go badly before I was placed back with the Millers.
I wasn’t that child anymore, dependent on others to escape. “I’m not giving you money, and I’m not staying here. Once I go, if you’re still here, Neil will call the police.”
“Would it hurt you so much to help your mom out? Look at you. You’re doing more than fine. Got the fancy car and the fancy job and more than one man to take care of you. What do I have?”
I stared at the woman I understood far too well and offered what I had a couple of weeks before, even though I knew what her response would be. “I can take you somewhere to work on getting clean. Say yes, and I’ll pay for that, but the money will go directly to them, not to you.”
She shook her head. “That’d be a waste. We both know it.”
“This time might be different, if you want it to be,” I said softly.
She hesitated. “Where you at now, if it’s not here? In case I change my mind and want to try.”
I shook my head. “I’m not telling you that.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Think you can hide from me, girl? We’re family.”
“We haven’t been that for a while.”
She shifted her feet, which were barefoot. Once I would have worried about that. Not anymore. If she’d chosen to spend what money she had on the drugs in her pocket and not shoes on her feet, there was nothing I could do about it.
“How am I supposed to get out of here? I don’t even have enough for a bus ticket. Can’t you give your mom just a little? It’s money well spent if it gets me gone, isn’t it?” Her voice had slid into that needling whine, the one that usually haunted my mind long after she was gone.
I felt it slide away this time. “You managed to get here twice. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
She studied my eyes. Whatever she saw there hardened her own. “Fucking bitch,” she muttered. She took a step toward me, and Jack moved between us. She eyed him, then turned away.
Jack remained at my side while we watched until she was out of sight. “You okay?” he asked.
I leaned my head on his shoulder, which felt solid, steady. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
He placed a soft kiss on top of my head. “It had to be hard, but you handled that well. Don’t think you didn’t.”
The stone of guilt pressing on my chest felt lighter. “Thanks for being here.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”
My body stiffened at the sound of Neil’s voice. I lifted my head away from Jack, finding the front door open and Neil stomping toward us.
“You brought him?” Neil asked.
His tone sent a chill down my spine. It was so similar to how my mom had sounded. I took a breath. “Sorry about my mom. I made it clear I don’t live here anymore, so she shouldn’t show up again. If she does, you can call the police.”
“What?” Neil’s glare turned into a frown. “No, you’ve got to handle her. She’s your mom.”
The pressure was back in my chest. “I don’t think she’ll come back here.”
“She better not.” He glanced nervously around, as if my mother could still be hovering. “Did you at least pay her this time? That always kept her away longer.”
“I—” My eyes dropped to my feet, my shoulders hunching.
“You didn’t, did you?” His voice rose with new nerves. “What were you thinking? You know—”
“Hey,” Jack interrupted, his hand coming up to rest on my back. “Don’t second-guess yourself. We can go if you’re ready.”
“You stay out of this!” Neil snapped. “You shouldn’t even be here right now. Why did you bring him here, Hailey?”
I took another breath, raising my head. “He offered to come. As a friend.”
“Friend. Right.” Neil made a scoffing sound. “I knew it, didn’t I? You have feelings for him. You probably had them long before you spent that night with him. You’re the cheater.”
“Cheater?” I blinked at the accusation. “Being with other people was the whole point, wasn’t it?”
“Not emotionally!” Neil snapped. “You broke us by emotionally cheating.”
“I—” The words died on my tongue. In a way, he was right. If I hadn’t spent the night with Jack, would the morning after have gone the way it had? “It doesn’t matter. It’s over between us. After this, you shouldn’t have a reason to call me.”
I started to turn away.
“Wait!” Neil lunged for me.
Jack caught his arm before he could reach me.
“Don’t touch me!” Neil cried, trying to jerk free.
Jack’s hand tightened on him. “You don’t touch her,” he said. Then he released him.
My heart thudded in my chest as I looked past him at Neil.
Neil rubbed his arm. “This is the guy you’re leaving me for?”
I shook my head. “I’m not leaving you for someone else. I’m leaving you because I don’t want to be with you anymore. I can’t.”
“Hailey, wait. Just wait.” Neil dragged in a breath, licking his lips nervously. “We still need to talk. You owe me that much.”
“She doesn’t owe you a damn thing,” Jack said, his hand clenching.
I reached for his fist, wrapping my hand around it. “It’s okay. I’ll talk to him.”
Jack’s hand uncurled, his fingers linking with mine as he eased back to my side.
I studied Neil, noticing how disheveled he looked. His hair stuck up in the back, his shirt was stained, and his jeans hung low, as if he’d lost weight. There was a redness to his eyes, either from crying or from a hangover, maybe both based on the smell of alcohol.
“What do you need to say, Neil?” I asked.
Neil glared at Jack. “Can we have some privacy?”
“No,” Jack said, his hand still in mine.
“Hailey,” Neil whined.
I closed my eyes, taking a breath. Then I pulled my hand free from Jack’s. “It’s okay. I’ll talk to him. Just—” I swallowed, my arms wrapping around myself. “Don’t go far?”
Jack’s lips tightened, but he nodded. He took a step closer to Neil. “You touch her in any way, and the cops will need to come out. Likely an ambulance as well. You understand?”
I stared at Jack, not used to the hard expression on his face.
“Are you threatening me?” Neil asked.
“Just letting you know the consequences up front. Don’t touch her.” Jack didn’t look away from him.
Neil’s head lowered, and he nodded.
A tremor moved through Jack’s body as he stepped away from me. He retreated to the bumper of my car, leaning a hip against it.
“Seriously?” Neil glared at him again. “That’s maybe three feet away! Hailey, let’s—” He reached for my arm.
Jack cleared his throat loudly, and Neil’s hand jerked away.
“Can you please come inside with me for a few minutes?” Neil asked me.
The thought of being inside alone with him made ants crawl along my skin. I stepped sideways on the grass instead, moving across the lawn to the tree we’d once planted together. It had never really grown, the leaves tinged brown on the stunted branches that barely reached my shoulders.
“How’s this?” I asked quietly, turning to find him already close behind me. I stepped back to create more distance.
“I guess it’ll have to do,” Neil muttered, glancing toward Jack.
Jack was no longer within a few steps of us, where I could put out a hand and reach him, but his eyes were steady as he watched on. I never minded Jack’s eyes on me, and this was no different. He was being protective, that was all, and it let me lift my chin as I faced Neil.
“I’m not sure what else there is to say. I no longer want to be with you. Making me keep saying it isn’t going to make this easier on either of us.”
“I’m falling apart without you.” Neil’s shoulders hunched. “I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I miss you, Hails. I just miss you.”
The twist in my stomach became a suffocating knot. A part of me wanted to reach out, to soothe the quiver to his lip.
“It was so bad that I missed work. They’re putting me on performance review. I miss a couple of days, and they act like I’ve been a problem all along. I can’t lose this job. Then what will I do?”