Chapter 25 #2
He smiled back, his eyes shifting as another patron gestured for his attention.
I watched him walk away.
“So this list of yours?” Sean asked. “Is it a bucket list?”
“Sort of. That’s what I started with.” I flipped open the top cover to show him. Places I’d like to travel were easy, though I’d only listed the top three.
“You want to get a tattoo?” he asked, already moving down the list. “Can I ask where?” His eyebrows waggled.
I laughed. “I’m not sure yet, but somewhere it’ll be easy for me to see. Because it’d be for me.” Saying that sounded selfish, but instead of guilt, I let another sip of bubbles burst inside me. “I’ve always liked them, but I don’t have a design in mind.”
“I can see you having fun exploring that. Jack and I can recommend a few artists when you’re ready,” Sean offered.
“Ready for what?” Jack asked, leaning over the bar. “What’s this?”
“Our girl is learning to think of herself and what she wants.”
I still liked when Sean called me that. I peeked at Jack, but he wasn’t frowning. A soft smile flirted with his mouth as he read what I’d written upside down. “I’ve always wanted to see the northern lights, too. And I fully support ink.” He flexed his bicep, drawing my eyes to his own designs.
Sean tapped my notebook. “You said your future, though. These things are extras. I want you to picture your life, honey, what that could look like. What’s the first thing that comes to mind? The thing that wells up and makes you want to burst with excitement?”
I didn’t let myself bite the word back. “Babies,” I admitted.
Sean’s mouth dropped open in surprise.
I couldn’t help but want to look at Jack’s reaction, but I was also scared to look. “I mean, not immediately, of course. I’d want to be married first. I know it’s probably cliché, based on my background, but I’ve always wanted my own family. One I chose.” I lifted my eyes to meet Jack’s.
The crinkles near his eyes were visible. “It’s not cliché. It’s what you want.”
I licked my lips, suddenly nervous. “Is that something you pictured? Being married, I mean.” I held my breath. For the last decade, I’d been waiting for a man to want what I wanted, and I wouldn’t put that dream on hold again.
“I’ve been picturing it quite a bit lately,” Jack murmured. “You said ‘babies’ plural. Did you have a number in mind?”
I shook my head. “I mean, I want a big family, so more than one, but I’m open to what happens.”
“I’ve been imagining three,” Jack admitted, his eyes on mine. “There’s something about being outnumbered that makes it seem more adventurous, doesn’t it?”
I giggled, a burst of sound that released the relief inside of me.
Sean shook his head. “Babies,” he murmured, staring down into his water.
“You’ve never wanted any?” I asked.
Sean hesitated, then blew out a breath. “Can’t say I have. I picture myself as a fun uncle or godparent, though.” He grinned at me and tapped a blank spot in my notebook. “It seems like you have a good starting place for your dreams. Let’s get it written down.”
The future I pictured wasn’t anything crazy. What the Millers had with each other was almost perfect, except for wanting the family to be bigger. A house, a yard, a cat (Neil always claimed to be allergic), and a few children. Three did sound like a solid number of kids.
Jack watched as I wrote everything that came to my mind, not commenting or encouraging the way Sean did, just quietly paying attention.
“There!” I announced, closing the notebook. “It’s not set in stone or anything, but I can picture my future better now.”
“Did it include dancing?” Sean asked, looking toward the stage.
I’d been so wrapped up in my daydreaming I’d barely noticed when Jack had introduced tonight’s band. I focused on the stage. The music was good, with a steady beat that made my foot want to tap. “You were serious about that?”
“With that dress of yours?” Sean leaned closer. “I can picture you in my arms already.”
Jack set down the water glass he’d been refilling for Sean with a thump. “You want to dance, Hailey?”
“Oh, um.” My eyes slid back to Sean. “Not with you both.”
Jack leaned on the bar. “What about just with me?”
Sean sat back, giving me a slight nod when I tried to read his expression. “Remember. What you want.”
I turned toward Jack, nerves fluttering in my stomach. “I’d love to dance with you,” I admitted softly.
He was already moving, slipping out from behind the bar. His hands reached for mine, helping me slide off the barstool. He didn’t step back, the heat from him close to my body. “You ready?” he asked, searching my eyes.
It felt like the question was about so much more than dancing. “If you are.”
He released one of my hands, using the other to guide me to the dance floor. We stopped farther from the stage this time, turning into each other together, my arms sliding around his neck as his circled my waist.
Moving with Jack’s body felt almost too simple.
Having him close made the skin along my arms tingle, but not with nerves.
I wanted more of him, the idea of that delicious.
Our bodies brushed as we moved together, shifting and swaying, but I didn’t even know if we followed the music.
All I knew were Jack’s intent eyes, his warm hands, and the pulse in his neck that my thumb brushed over, comparing it to my own.
Our faces grew closer as one song blended into the next. Our noses brushed and our foreheads pressed together during a slower song, but our lips didn’t touch. My body shifted even closer to him, feeling the effect I was having on him, and our breaths mingled.
It was as if I blinked and the band’s second set was over. Jack lifted his head from mine, his pupils wide, darkening the brown of his eyes as he didn’t look away.
“Do you want to stay over tonight?” Jack asked.
My fingers stroked the back of his neck, sending a small shudder through his body. “Can we go up now?”
He smiled at me, pulling my hands down and linking one of them with his as he led me off the dance floor.