Chapter 25
The Thirteenth Friday
Sean met me at the door to the bar not wearing his logoed shirt again. He’d done that for the last few Fridays. Edgar had been getting a lot more time on the door, though he didn’t seem any more pleased about it.
On the first Friday after that disaster of a final conversation with Neil, Sean had convinced me to drink with him again, though it wasn’t really a hard sell.
Laughing with Sean as we tried to drink each other under the table was a giddy experience the second time, too.
Jack had been amused by our antics until Sean got me talking about how much I liked Jack’s musician hands.
His eyes had become intent on mine, the expression in them creating an ache between my legs.
By the time Jack had gotten me safely home to my apartment, I was so turned on I’d tried to pin him to the couch, though that was the last thing I remembered.
I’d fallen asleep before I’d managed too much, but the hickeys decorating his neck when he’d picked me up for more record shopping the Sunday after had made me blush and apologize.
Jack had just grinned at me and said he was looking forward to me trying it again in the future, but sober next time.
The Friday after that, I’d begged off alcohol.
I’d shown up later than usual that day, almost not going.
I’d started therapy and still had a hangover from my scheduled Thursday session.
Sean sat with me, letting me lean against his chest while we listened to the indie band Jack had lined up.
The singer’s voice had been a soothing croon that wove inside me.
I added her to my streaming playlist after, I liked her so much.
Instead of going out shopping, Jack had come over on Sunday with his laptop to show me all the sites he’d found and the records he’d been bidding on. I’d felt myself settle while I’d pressed against his side, my head on his shoulder as he searched up even more vinyl.
We invited Sean and Derrick over for dinner and a movie—another documentary, this time about boy bands from the nineties. Even though she’d been more into seventies and eighties heartthrobs, Mrs. Miller would have found it interesting.
I hadn’t hung out with Derrick before, but he was a sweetheart, though a little on the serious side. He geeked out with Jack over documentaries while we ate. Derrick was even more of a caregiver than Jack and Sean, and he was the one jumping up to refill drinks or grab more napkins.
It was interesting to watch Sean being taken care of for a change.
I studied them while leaning against Jack, watching their heads brush as they whispered to each other.
They didn’t kiss or anything, but there was a casual intimacy between them that kept drawing my gaze back.
It reminded me of watching the Millers together, though their relationship had included more teasing and laughter.
“Hey, honey,” Sean said, bringing my thoughts back to where I was as he folded me in a hug outside the bar. “Trying to get Jack to swallow his tongue tonight?”
I blushed as I pulled away. When I’d bought the dress with one of my friends a month or more ago, I’d been sure I wouldn’t wear it, even though I’d agreed with her that it looked amazing on me.
The soft brown color made my skin glow, and the built-in bra made finding one that fit the low cut unnecessary.
Lace edged the slopes of my breasts, drawing the eye.
The way the skirt flirted around my thighs made me feel sexy.
“What if I am?” I asked quietly, meeting Sean’s eyes.
He grinned at me. “I’d say it’s about damn time. Put that guy out of his misery. He’s been pining hard for a while.”
I searched his face. “So you’re okay? We’ll be okay?”
His eyes softened. “I’ve seen the way you look at Jack.
I had a feeling this would be what you’d pick.
As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” His forehead lowered until it touched mine.
“I love you, Hailey. All I want is for you to live the life that brings out that giddiness I’ve seen in you.
It’d be a joy to see it much more often. ”
Nerves swirled in my stomach, but they weren’t the anxious kind. There was an excitement under my skin, almost an anticipation. “I really like Jack.”
Sean laughed. “I know you do. This is good. I was worried you’d deny it for much longer.”
I’d tried to tell my therapist I was too broken to date Jack. That I needed time to heal. This week’s session had worked through why I thought that. I was just happy the hangover aspect of therapy hadn’t lasted as long this week.
With my parents and Neil, I had plenty of baggage. But I wasn’t broken. I had a lot to offer. One reason Neil hung on so long was because of all I brought to the relationship. I wanted to see what a relationship would be like if the care I gave was reciprocated.
“Just know, I won’t make it easy on him,” Sean warned. He lifted his head, holding my arms out to my sides to study me. “Especially with you looking like this. Expect to be flirted with.”
Warmth danced across my skin. “If I said I liked that, would that make me a tease?”
“You want to tease me, honey?” He gave me a little twirl, my skirt swirling around my legs. “Then I might ask you to dance.” He leaned closer to my ear. “You’re sin when you dance, and you aren’t exclusive with Jack quite yet, are you?”
I laughed up at him, feeling even sexier than I had when putting on the dress.
“That’s good. Just like that,” Sean murmured, tugging me toward the door.
I was still grinning as Jack’s gaze found me. He froze, his eyes getting that intent look that made me want to squirm. My scalp tingled as my mouth went dry. There was a sway to my hips when I crossed to my usual barstool.
“Hey, Jack,” I said, folding my arms on the bar and leaning toward him.
He swallowed as his eyes dipped to my breasts, then dragged back up to my face. “Hailey. You look…”
“Gorgeous, right?” Sean said, taking the barstool next to me. “I bet she gets hit on by half the bar tonight.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to meet anyone new.” My eyes lowered and then lifted back up to meet Jack’s. “I know just what I’m here for.”
His hands gripped the edge of the bar as his breath shuddered out.
Feeling embarrassed that I may have been too obvious, I let out a forced laugh. “Can you make me something new tonight? No alcohol. I’d like you to surprise me.”
Jack leaned forward. “Yeah?” he asked, his voice low. “I think you’re the one surprising me.”
“In a good way?” I asked.
“In a way that makes me want to close the bar early, but my favorite customer just ordered a drink.”
I laughed. “Can you really call me a customer when you never let me pay?”
“You—” He cleared his throat, his hand moving behind his neck. “Let’s start with that drink. What do you want tonight, Sean?”
“Just some water. I’m feeling very thirsty.” When Jack’s eyes narrowed on him, he winked back.
“I’ll get that drink started.” Jack moved down the bar, almost running into Wendy when his eyes didn’t shift away from me.
Sean leaned closer. “I think you broke his brain already. This will be fun.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do.” I set my bigger than usual purse on the bar.
Sean eyed it, his eyebrows drawing together. “Didn’t pack light tonight, did you? It’s like you’re planning something.” He nudged my shoulder, laughing when my skin flushed. “Hoping to stay over?”
“It’s not that. Well, I kind of do want that, but it’s—” I reached into the purse and pulled out the notebook I’d tucked inside. “I’ve got homework this week. I thought doing it here might help. The bar is called The Muse, after all.”
“Needing ideas?” Sean’s fingers found mine on top of the notebook. “I thought the list I gave you a while ago would have helped with that.”
“It did.” Not that I’d had the opportunity to explore those particular ideas. “But it’s not about that—well, not only that. I’m supposed to think about my future and what I want in it.”
“Oh, we both know what you want,” Sean said, glancing toward where Jack was returning with our drinks.
I rubbed my forehead. “It’s been brought to my attention that I put myself on hold to focus on other people. People like—” I broke off, biting my lip.
“Neil,” Sean finished for me. He glanced up as Jack set a glass of water in front of him. “How is that ex of yours? Still hassling you? Do I need to punch him again?”
“Sean,” Jack warned, but his eyes were on me, as if he was invested in the answer.
I took a breath. “I blocked him last night.” I’d blocked his parents as well. They’d been leaving messages about how awful Neil felt and how he was falling apart without me.
Neil’s messages were similar, except on the nights he was drinking. Those messages were full of his anger toward me for ending things.
All the messages I received focused on Neil. What he needed, how he was feeling, and the effect on his life. The only time I was mentioned was how I’d ruined his life. None of the messages included an apology or a promise he’d do better. They didn’t even include questions about how I was doing.
A part of me had been worried about going no contact with Neil. If something happened to him, how would I know? How would I fix it?
That it wasn’t my place to fix it had been settling in my mind. The last message he’d left had been about losing his job. I’d felt blank hearing it, empty, with no urge to call and commiserate with him.
“Blocking him was easier than I thought it would be. I don’t regret it.” My chest wasn’t even tight talking about it. I stared down at my hands. “I know it took me too long to do it.”
“It took how long it was supposed to take.” Jack set down a tapered glass filled with reddish-pink sparkling liquid. “Here. For you.”
“It’s so pretty.” I was almost afraid to reach for it. The sweetness of the first sip bubbled on my tongue. “And good, but then everything you make me is good.”