CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE #3
I nodded, waiting patiently as he found the number and called it, his previous words replaying in my head. Guilt ensnared me. I'd treated him like the enemy, but he was just like me, a young man striving for success.
“No one is answering,” he said, the slight narrowing of his eyes the only sign of his frustration. "God, they're absolutely useless."
I stood up and began pacing, trying to think of a way out of this situation. It was getting late and…my heart stopped.
Auden.
I pulled out my phone, a string of curse words rolling off my tongue at the flat battery. With no charger, I had no way to contact Auden and explain where I was.
“My phone is dead,” I said in between curses. “We need to get out of here. There must be some alarm we can set off or something.”
Nathaniel pursed his lips. “Maybe a fire alarm? You go look for it, I’ll keep trying security’s number.”
With a nod, I hurried off in search of the fire alarm, the darkened library creating monsters out of bookcases. They towered on either side of me, whispering amongst themselves as I felt their wooden frames for guidance.
You forgot about Auden, the Devil whispered, what kind of brother are you?
I didn’t answer, though that same question had speared through my chest moments earlier. I prayed Auden was okay and that he would forgive me for my unexplained disappearance. I had to get to him. And soon.
“Why did you abandon me, Guses?” a voice called out. “Why did you leave me all alone? Like Mumma did.”
I slowed to a halt, the air torn from my lungs. “Auden...?”
“You’re just like Mumma. Just like Mumma. Just like Mumma.”
Bookshelves stretched toward me, inching closer as I turned to face my brother, dark eyes locking with mine.
Only it wasn’t Auden. It was the Devil, smiling from ear-to-ear, sharp teeth drenched in blood.
Snakes slithered at his feet, hissing, forked tongues flicking wildly.
Spiders poured from his eyeless sockets, his nose, his widening mouth.
I backed away.
The Devil followed.
“Why are you doing this?” I whispered.
To remind you, the Devil’s voice growled inside my head.
“Remind me of what?”
Of who you are.
Shaking my head, I blinked away the grinning Devil wearing mine and Auden’s distorted face, turning back around to resume my search.
I found the emergency exit and activated the fire alarm, the library erupting in a loud siren that burst my eardrums. Covering my ears, I sprinted back toward Nathaniel who waited by the door.
Security were there minutes later, unlocking the door to release us and turn off the alarm. We were questioned briefly, and once Nathaniel explained the situation, we were released.
“Let me drive you home,” Nathaniel offered.
“It’s fine, I’ll find my own way,” I mumbled, distracted.
“Augustus,” he sighed. “It’s late.”
I studied him for a long moment. In the pale moonlight, his skin glistened, shadows casting wings behind him as though he were a guardian angel.
“Fine,” I breathed out. “I would appreciate that, thank you.”
Nathaniel’s car was not what I had been expecting. Since he was ‘Mr rich kid’ in my mind, I had anticipated a ‘Mr rich kid’ kind of car. And while I had no doubt his car was expensive, I had not expected to climb into a 1950s Bentley.
“What decade do you think we’re in?” I asked as I settled into the front passenger seat.
“Time is a man-made concept,” Nathaniel replied.
“Actually…” I started, but my words trailed off as Nathaniel started the car and music reached my ears. “What the hell is this?”
“What?”
“The music.”
Nathaniel grinned. “You don’t like St. Elmo’s Fire?”
I rolled my eyes and refused to give him a response, opting instead to look out the window, watching the blur of red lights and streetlamps.
“Did you always know you wanted to study psychology?”
The unexpected question hung in the air between us as I tried to concoct an appropriate response.
To admit that I had no direct ambition, no idea what I really wanted to be, was not something I was ready for.
Especially not with my rival. But Nathaniel glanced sideways at me at the traffic lights, brown eyes soft and curious, and I felt compelled to answer honestly.
“I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to…understand the way the mind works,” I said.
It was not a lie. I wanted to understand why my mother had treated me the way she had, and what had caused her to make the decision to abandon her family. There were so many complexities of the human mind, and I wanted to uncover each one.
“Ah,” Nathaniel clicked his tongue, “you and I are not so different after all.”
I had already drawn that same conclusion but enlightened him anyway. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, gaze briefly flickering to mine, “…we both want to understand everything there is to know about the brain. You want to be a psychologist or psychiatrist, I’m assuming, and I want to be a brain surgeon.
Sure, you are going about it psychologically while I am physically, but together, we could understand it all.
A brain surgeon and a clinical psychologist. A powerful team, right? ”
A team. I almost scoffed. What did Nathaniel, top-of-the-class Nathaniel, want with me when I had made it clear, on numerous occasions, that I wanted nothing to do with him?
You know the saying, the Devil hummed, keep your enemies close.
“What about you?” I asked instead before the Devil’s voice could taunt me further. “Did you always want to be a brain surgeon?”
“Not at all,” Nathaniel answered, “I actually wanted to work in a museum archive or be a music teacher. I love history. And I play the piano.”
His words reminded me of Auden. He loved history and museums. I always imagined that one day he would be working in the archives or giving tours, spilling out facts he knew about an ancient civilisation or historical figure.
“So why medicine?” I asked.
“It was…always expected of me,” he said, less enthusiastic. “My dad is a heart surgeon and my mum is a lung specialist.”
“My mother was a religious fanatic who abandoned her family for a cult and my dad an alcoholic who didn’t see his kids worth living for,” I blurted out, “we don’t have to follow the same path as our parents.”
There was a long, uncomfortable silence before Nathaniel whispered, “Your mother…”
I shook my head. I did not want to talk about her. In fact, I didn’t even know why I brought her up. There was just something about Nathaniel that made it so easy to spill all your secrets. It was dangerous. He was dangerous.
“Is she…the reason you wanted to do our assignment on cults?” Nathaniel asked.
“No.”
“But–”
“I said no.”
“You’re back to hating me again, huh?”
“Yes.”
We sat in silence until Nathaniel pulled up in front of my apartment complex and I opened the door to climb out. I was halfway out of the seat when I felt Nathaniel’s fingers around my elbow, grip strong enough to bring me to a halt. I slowly turned to look at him.
“Augustus.” He said my name like a prayer, summoning my omniscience from a golden throne above the clouds, imploring me to listen to his earthly concerns. “I want to be friends.”
But I was no god. And I did not answer prayers.