Chapter Thirty-Six
“H e’s going to kill someone when he finds out.” Enzo tossed a chip into his mouth, chewing loudly. “Most likely me.”
Surprised, I looked up from the fluffy rom-com I was reading on my Kindle. It was the first time Enzo spoke to me the entire time he was my bodyguard. Filippo was taking a nap in a plush recliner behind us.
“Why?” I reached for my Bloody Mary. We were sitting in my newly purchased private jet, flying out from New York to London. “Because I left the country without telling him, or because I served him with divorce papers?”
“Both,” Enzo deadpanned. He was slunk back with one boot propped on the table, playing with his Swiss Army knife and eating kettle chips. His hands were full of cuts. I noticed that whenever he made fresh cuts, he didn’t even flinch. Like he was incapable of feeling pain.
I had studied the Ferrantes closely in recent weeks.
Luca was the quiet, calculating one. Adequately handsome.
Chillingly mysterious. Achilles was the deranged, ferocious one.
Scarred from head to toe, tattooed to his last inch.
Enzo was the loveliest. As exquisite as fine art.
But he seemed so out of place in this world.
I could see him partying in Cancun with his fraternity brothers or running in slo-mo in an A & F ad, throwing a Frisbee.
“Well, it shouldn’t come as a surprise.” I sat up demurely. “Our contract says I can divorce him when my mother dies.”
“Last I checked, she ain’t dead,” he drawled, eyes trained on his fingers as he flipped the knife-like quicksilver. “Unless of course he found out you were gone and decided to punish you creatively.”
Despite knowing Tate was more than happy to unalive large swaths of people, I wasn’t worried about him killing anyone innocent or faultless.
When I didn’t answer Enzo, he continued, “He wants to protect you, you know.”
“ Protect me?” I snorted. “Tate is the reason why I’m in danger.”
“Yeah.” He ran his hand over his hair. “He kinda messed that up.”
“He doesn’t love me,” I snapped.
“Dude, are you for real?” Enzo snorted. “No man I know would go through all this convoluted bullshit for a piece of ass.”
“Convoluted bullshit?” I narrowed my eyes. “It’s not like I trapped him into marrying me.”
He shrugged. “The sick mother. That experimental trial thingy. The contract. The bodyguards. The shopping sprees. The sass. Admit it, Gia, you’ve got baggage.”
“Everyone’s got baggage,” I snapped.
“Sure. But plenty of people are willing to hide theirs to bag someone like Blackthorn. Not your ass. No. You keep it real.”
Was there a compliment hiding somewhere in his sentence?
“You give him hell, and he gives you back heaven. Why do you wanna call this?”
“Obsession,” I said crisply. “And I don’t know…karma for something terrible I did in the past?”
“I can see why he’s drawn to you.” He ran his tongue over his upper lip wolfishly. “I like a woman with a smart mouth. I always wonder what other impressive tricks she can do with it.”
I shook my head, looking out the window. A fluffy sheet of white clouds stretched beneath us like linen.
Enzo was dead wrong about Tate’s feelings for me. Anyway, I didn’t want to talk about it. The Ferrantes already had a front-row seat to the dumpster fire we called our marriage.
“So…how did you do it?” I piped up, glare still fixed on the sky.
“How did I do what?” He shook the crisps bag, staring into it.
“Kill someone when you were inducted. Tate told me about Luca and Achilles. He said you brothers like to top one another. Make it as gory and frightening as possible so your reputation will precede you. How old were you, and what’d you do?” I couldn’t picture Enzo hurting a fly.
“I was fifteen.” He tucked his knife into his pocket, aware his next words would frighten me.
“A late bloomer. Luca was inducted at fourteen, Achilles at thirteen. Fucker couldn’t wait to draw blood.
” Another tug of his hair. “My brothers, they’re real sociopaths.
Me, I like to think of myself as a pacifist. But one who doesn’t mind bending his own rules if it means inheriting an empire.
I needed to prove myself. I wanted to do something that required both skill and imagination. You know, show off my moves.”
I swallowed hard, adrenaline pumping through my body. “Yes?”
“I decided to flay my victim while he was fully conscious.” He examined his outstretched, cut fingers as though they were a work of ancient art.
“I skinned him from ankles to neck before he died of hypothermia, but it took several days and a large number of infusions. When it was over, I managed to keep his entire skin intact.”
My stomach roiled. “H-how…”
“I was a STEM dude at school. Even did a year of premed.”
“What happened?”
“Uh, my dad happened?” He laughed humorlessly. “Have you met the guy? He doesn’t leave much room for agency. It’s cool, though. I made peace with what I do.”
“What did the man do to deserve it?”
“He killed an underboss’s wife and the baby in her belly.
Stabbed her in the stomach several times.
Then killed the underboss too.” A beat of silence followed.
“The underboss was my godfather. The man who killed them was one of our own. He wanted to rise up in ranks quickly. Thought he wouldn’t get caught. ”
“What did you do with his skin?” I didn’t know why I asked. I didn’t want to know.
“I made myself a nice, warm leather coat. I’m wearing it now, actually.”
My gaze shot to his black leather jacket, and my eyes flared.
“Oh my God, look at your face. I’m just fucking with you. What kind of sick bastard do you think I am?” Enzo chuckled good-naturedly. “No, but I did make a few knife sheaths with it.”
I massaged my temples. “I don’t know how I found myself surrounded by such bad men.”
“Ah, that’s an easy one.” Enzo untucked his knife, playing with it again. “You fell for one.”
I made one quick stop at a newsagent’s on my way to the cemetery to visit Dad’s and Elliott’s graves. They were buried side by side. Mum and I had to pay a convenience fee for their proximity, which felt utterly ridiculous. Nothing felt convenient about losing two of your loved ones.
“Hi, lads.” I lined up their favorite snacks and drinks by their gravestones.
“There we are. Elliott—your scratchings, peanut M&Ms, and…Irn-Bru.” I shuddered at the radioactive-looking drink.
My brother never had the chance to outgrow the criminally sweet soda.
“Daddy, here’s your prawn cocktail Skips and Bounty bar.
” I always brought them their favorite snacks.
They were so serious about their food. “Sorry it’s been a minute. I’ve been taking care of Mum.”
My eyes stung from tears and the cold, and I knew Enzo and Filippo were standing behind me, probably wondering if I was mental.
“Don’t worry, though.” I sniffled, wiping at my runny nose. “She’ll be fine. I’m taking good care of her. I—”
I stopped, shaking my head and squeezing my lips together.
“Who am I kidding?” I let my head fall between my shoulders.
“She’s not going to be fine. She’ll be joining you soon, and I’m scared, and I’m sad and angry, so angry.
” I fell to my knees in front of their graves, my entire body shaking.
“They say there are five stages to grief, but I think mine hit me all at once. The pain is everywhere. I can’t escape it. ”
The graves didn’t answer, but they did listen. I knew, because some of the agony rolled off my shoulders.
“I tried everything I could.” I wiped my eyes and nose with the end of my sleeve.
“I broke the law. I made a deal with the devil. Married him too. All in order to save her. You’d be disappointed if you were alive, Dad.
And to top it all, I lost the bracelet. Our bracelet.
A bad man took it with him to his grave. ”
I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling. My entire life, I had tried my hardest to be the person I thought others needed me to be.
And what I got in return was a senseless car accident that took Dad and Elliott away from me because some pissed wanker decided to get behind the wheel and drive.
When the loss of them brought me to my knees, I’d clung to the only person I had left—Mum. But she’d been ripped from me too.
That bracelet wasn’t just a piece of jewelry. It symbolized another part of my life I’d never get back.
“Please forgive my self-pity.” I dabbed at my eyes again.
“I love you so much. Both of you. Elliott—I miss our banter. And our late nights binge-eating biscuits in front of EastEnders . Sorry, Dad. Yes, it was us who ate your digestives, which, by the way, are still junk food. Just because they have the words ‘whole wheat’ on them doesn’t make them healthy. ”
I snorted out an ungraceful laugh.
“I miss kicking your arse at Wii. And you kicking my arse at tennis. And the practical jokes we pulled on each other. And how you were so attuned to my feelings, you once took my goldfish to the vet because it was unwell and actually managed to save it.” I clamped my mouth shut, looking down at the damp, loose ground.
“And, Dad, I miss your advice. Geeking out with math riddles. I miss the unconditional love I took for granted my entire childhood. I have recently come to realize that no matter how grand and all-consuming love can be, nothing can match the love between a parent and a child.”
I stood up and turned around, surprised to see my husband leaning against a black SUV. He waited a few feet away from Enzo, staring at me quietly, his pocket watch in hand.
How long had he been here? How much did he see?
I slinked toward him. Twilight draped over the cemetery, the crows standing on bare branches in the shadows our only audience. I stopped six feet away from him. “How long have you been here?”
“My flight left twenty-five minutes after yours.”