Chapter 36
36
Holly felt terrible. No, even terrible didn’t come close to how she was feeling. It was horrific. The guilt in the pit of her stomach caused bile to sting the back of her throat while the rest of her body felt numb.
‘Oh God,’ she said. ‘I was horrible, wasn’t I? That was really, really bad, wasn’t it?’
She looked at Faye, hoping that perhaps she would find some way to comfort her. Maybe say that it hadn’t been as bad from the outside as it sounded to her. But all Faye could do was grimace. That said something, didn’t it? When the most optimistic and nice-natured person she knew couldn’t even muster a single lie for her?
‘I just found the brochure with all the spa and sauna details,’ she said. ‘Probably a bit late for that now, isn’t it?’
‘Crap.’
Holly dragged herself inwards and dropped down onto the bed. ‘Shit. Oh my God, Giles is going to kill me.’
Her guilt intensified with a memory of the phone call she’d had only moments before.
‘Yeah, he’s not gonna be too happy,’ Faye said. ‘But she might not tell him.’
Holly raised her eyebrows. Now she knew Faye was just trying to be comforting, even if she was massively lying. Sienna and Giles were engaged to be married, to spend the rest of their lives together. Of course, she was going to tell him. That was what a relationship like theirs meant.
‘He told me I had to be nice,’ she said. ‘When he said it, I thought that was a ridiculous thing for him to say. Because I thought I was nice, but I’m not, am I? Oh my God. What do I do? What’s best? I should go, shouldn’t I? I should leave so that I don’t ruin the rest of the weekend.’
She waited for Faye to respond, but when she did, it was with a withering look rather than words.
‘What?’ Holly said, trying to understand her expression. ‘You don’t think I should go?’
‘Well,’ Faith said, ‘just answer this for me: would you be going because you don’t want to ruin the rest of Sienna’s weekend, or would you be going because it would be easier than having to apologise?’
‘What?’ Holly opened her mouth, ready to object to such a statement, only to realise it wasn’t possible. As much as she didn’t want to admit it to herself, Faye had hit the nail right on the head.
‘So, what do I do? Just go down there and say I’m sorry? Say I didn’t mean it?’
‘Well, are you? Did you mean it or not?’
‘Of course I’m sorry,’ Holly said. ‘It must have really hurt her to hear me say those things. I didn’t want to do that.’
‘Okay, but did you mean what you said? Because they’re two different things.’
Holly grimaced. It was definitely frustrating having friends who were as logical-thinking as Faye, particularly when they were aiming that logic directly at her.
‘I don’t know. Truthfully… I don’t know her. And the things she said about Giles and the kids, that was manipulative.’
‘You’re right, that was. But that’s between them.’
‘So you don’t think he should know what she said? You don’t think he has a right to know?’
‘What I think is that right now, that isn’t the issue. The issue you need to sort out first is you and Sienna. And yes, I do think that she can probably be a little manipulative, but not always in a bad way. She knows how to get what she wants. That’s what she has to do in a job like hers, and for a very good cause. And maybe she should have told us about the juices, but my bet is that she didn’t want us to be put off and she really wanted to spend some time with us. That’s why she didn’t say anything.’
Holly wouldn’t have thought it was possible to feel any worse, and yet she did. Every word Faye had just spoke was true.
‘You’re right,’ she said with a long sigh. ‘I’ll go find her now. Give me fifteen minutes before you come down to the pool. If I haven’t come up by that time, I guess it means I’m not packing my stuff… but who knows?’
‘Just be honest with her,’ Faye said. ‘I might not know her well, but most people value that.’
Holly nodded. ‘Honesty, because that always works so well, doesn’t it?’