Chapter 37
37
Holly found Sienna by the pool. Just as she had said, it really was Olympic-sized, but it was no surprise Holly hadn’t seen it before when she walked downstairs. It was on the other side of the building, with the saunas and steam rooms, the rest of the spa. Sienna had taken a lounger at the far end of the pool and was holding a book up to her face as if she was reading, though, in all the time it took Holly to walk across to her, not once did she seem to turn the page. She did, however, lift her hand to her eyes several times, as if she was wiping away tears. It was horrific; with every step closer Holly took, her guilt intensified. But there was nothing she could do about it.
It wasn’t just guilt, though; it was nerves. Nerves about the impending apology she knew she had to make.
By the time she reached Sienna’s sunlounger, her heart was hammering in its ribcage.
‘Sienna. Can I have a word?’
Sienna sniffed before tilting her chin ever so slightly in Holly’s direction. ‘Have you come to tell me they’ve booked a taxi for you?’
‘No,’ Holly said. ‘I haven’t asked. I just… I was hoping we could have a conversation first.’
‘Are you sure?’ Sienna said. ‘Why would you want to do that? I wouldn’t want to have a conversation with anyone I thought was a narcissistic, manipulative bitch.’
Holly let out an internal groan. Sienna wasn’t going to make this easy on her, but then what did she expect? She didn’t deserve it to be made easy. Still, she wasn’t going to give in. Giles would never forgive her. And so, steeling herself for the best result, she sat down on a sunlounger opposite Sienna.
‘I am sorry,’ she said. ‘I really am.’
‘Sorry because of what you said, or sorry because I heard you say it?’ Sienna asked.
‘Both,’ Holly admitted. ‘Look, the truth is, I don’t know you. I don’t. And it’s all very well that you’ve gone to this extravagant effort for us, but I will admit, the idea of a juicing weekend for me is hell,’ she continued. ‘I’ll be honest with you, I don’t know anybody who would possibly think a weekend of juicing would be a fun holiday or bonding experience, but it’s not just about that. Weekends are precious for me. I get to spend two a month with Hope. The other two, I’m normally working. Taking one entirely for myself is a rarity and so on the scarce occasion that I get a bit of time like this, I want to be spending it doing something I enjoy. Surely that makes sense to you?’
Sienna hummed. It wasn’t much of a response, but it was something. Holly paused, took a breath in and carried on.
‘But…’ she said. ‘That doesn’t mean I was right in any way with what I said. I realise now that you like doing things like this, and that’s why you thought we would enjoy it. I get that. But hopefully, you can see why I wasn’t in the best possible mood when I saw the plunge pool?’ Holly thought about the moments immediately preceding the plunge pool, where she spoke to Giles. Faye may have said she needed to tell the truth, but telling Sienna about that didn’t feel like the right thing to do.
While Holly waited for a reply, Sienna sniffed again.
‘I asked Giles if he wanted to come with me, and he said no,’ she said. ‘And some other friends too. So maybe you’re a bit right, and there’s a bit of truth to what you say. Perhaps I did delay telling you what kind of spa it was, but that’s only because I thought you’d come in with a negative attitude, and then when you got here, you’d absolutely love it. I’m sure you will. I mean, how can you not love it? Look at it.’
Holly looked around. ‘You’re right. It’s lovely. At least for this part. But I’m using Uber Eats and getting a McDonald’s at some point. I can tell you that now.’
Sienna let out a slight chuckle. ‘Fair enough.’
For a second, Holly wondered if this was where she should end it. If this was the moment they should bring the conversation to a close, she would apologise, and they could carry on the weekend with some kind of unspoken, almost-resolution. But she couldn’t. There was more she needed to say first.
‘This has been harder for me than I expected it to be.’
Sienna laughed. ‘You haven’t even had your first juice yet; you might like it.’
Holly shook her head. ‘I don’t mean the juicing; I mean the engagement.’
‘Oh, yes, I should probably have realised that.’
Holly sighed. ‘I’ll be honest. I didn’t think Giles was ever going to be the settling-down type. I thought he would remain the eternal bachelor, and I would be the eternal widow, and that would work well in our little friendship group. But you changed that.’
‘Giles will always be your very best friend. You’re his best woman at the wedding, for crying out loud. I mean, who ever heard of such a ridiculous thing? Certainly not me. After all, it’s going to make the photos look terrible. It’ll completely ruin all the symmetry. Unless you wear a suit, I suppose.’
Holly wasn’t sure whether or not that had been a genuine dig. There was no hint of a smile on Sienna’s face, but even if she was serious, it was something they could deal with later. First, she needed to get all this out.
‘The thing I’m finding hardest isn’t about Giles and our friendship. I’m happy he’s in love. Truly, but it scares me too. Because Giles marrying you means that life is moving on and there’s absolutely nothing I can do to stop it. Either I move on too, or I spend the rest of my life trapped in the past, and I don’t want to do that. I sure as hell don’t want the others to do that either, but moving on… it’s terrifying. But my fears are not something I should inflict on your life or your happiness. So I’m sorry. The way I acted, the things I said, they’re not because of you, Sienna. They’re really not. I would love it if we could use this weekend to get to know each other a little better.’
For the first time, Sienna finally lifted her sunglasses off her eyes and a small smile flickered on her face.
‘I really think you will like the juices,’ she said.
‘I’m getting deliveries,’ Holly replied with a laugh, and then, before she knew what was happening, Sienna had her arms wrapped tightly around her in a hug.