Chapter 65
65
As Holly’s train drew into the platform, she tried to work out what she was going to say to Jamie. Where the hell did she start? It was all such a mess. Though as the doors opened and Holly saw her friend standing there, the tears started again.
‘What happened?’ Jamie said, as Holly collapsed into her shoulder. ‘Holly, what’s wrong?’
Holly wanted to answer. She wanted to tell Jamie everything, only she couldn’t breathe because she was sobbing so much. Her throat was raw, her lungs ached. But it was her chest that hurt the most – her heart, which felt as if it had been ripped in two.
‘I messed it up. It’s all so messed up,’ she said.
‘What is? What happened?’
‘Giles and I kissed,’ she said finally, meeting Jamie’s gaze.
‘Oh.’
Holly waited for more. For Jamie to cover her mouth in shock, or question her, prying out every detail. But that was all she said.
‘Oh? That’s all you’ve got.’ Holly stepped back and raised her hands in disbelief. ‘Everything is wrecked, Jamie. Everything. He doesn’t want me at his wedding. He doesn’t even want me in his life any more.’
Still, Jamie remained incredibly matter-of-fact about it all. ‘When did this all happen? Today?’
Holly shook her head. ‘No, it was after we’d been to the spa.’
For the first time, Jamie’s expression showed a hint of surprise. ‘The spa? But that was over two weeks ago. You didn’t mention anything.’
‘How could I? It’s horrific. He hates me, he absolutely despises me, and I… I?—’
‘You love him,’ she said.
‘Yes. Yes. I do. I don’t just think I love him. I love him. I love him so much, it hurts, and I know he feels the same way. He told me, but he said… he said…’
It was too late. Once again, the tears had taken over. There was no point even trying to speak. With her arms wide, Jamie brought her back in for a hug and began rubbing. The motion only seemed to accelerate the tears, although Holly couldn’t tell her as much.
‘It’s okay. You’ll be fine, I promise. We’ve all been wondering when it was going to hit for real. Fin and I suspected this might be why you rang. You’ll be fine. We’re here for you.’
‘What do you mean?’ Holly said. The tears momentarily halted as she looked at her friend in confusion. ‘What do you mean, you’ve all been wondering? Who? Wondering what?’
Jamie bit down on her bottom lip sheepishly, like she’d said too much.
‘Holly, this last year… Well, to be honest, I don’t know how you didn’t see it before. We all did. I suspect the entire village knows that you and Giles are in love. We just hoped that you’d notice before Giles did something crazy like?—’
‘Get engaged to someone?’ Holly finished, a fresh wave of tears commencing. ‘Great, So everybody’s been talking about it?’
‘We just care about you. That’s all. Let’s go home. I feel like this is a conversation we need a drink for. Come on, let’s get in the car. We can talk on the way.’
Holly used the journey to fill Jamie in on everything, including the argument with Sienna, and how Giles had turned up to have a go at her, only for them to end up kissing.
‘I honestly don’t know if it was me or him, but I swear I was the one to break away. I was.’
‘You don’t need to convince me of anything here, Holly. I’m your friend.’
‘But you’re Giles’s friend too, and I’ve made such a mess of things. I don’t know how I fix this. What do I do?’
This was the other reason she had called Jamie to pick her up. It wasn’t just about having a shoulder to cry on. Holly needed her friend to tell her what to do. How to put things right. Jamie was the most practical person she knew and right then, Holly needed her to put her practicality into sorting her life out.
‘I don’t know,’ Jamie said. ‘What do you want to do?’
Holly drew in a long breath. She knew exactly what the answer was; it was there, trembling in her lungs, but to say it out loud, that was something altogether terrifying. But then, if she couldn’t say it to Jamie, how the hell was she going to say it to Giles?
‘It’s not because he’s with someone else,’ Holly said. ‘I want to be with him. I want to be with him forever.’
‘Then you need to tell him that.’
‘I tried,’ Holly said. ‘He didn’t want to hear it.’
‘Then you need to try again. You need to make him listen.’