Chapter 66
66
In the end, Holly decided to go for the good old-fashioned letter approach. It took her several days to decide on this, but she was certain it was the right way forward, for several reasons. First, it could be done quietly in her own home, in the evenings, when Hope was asleep. She gave herself until the end of that week, by which time, she wanted to have something truthful, heartfelt, and ready to give to Giles. It was also the approach that seemed to work in various romcoms and novels that she read, so she took that as evidence that it would be the most effective way to convey her thoughts.
On Thursday evening, Holly looked at the piece of paper in front of her and finally put her pen down for the last time. This was it, she thought, looking at her words. This was as truthful as she could get. As honest and raw. She had laid her heart out on the line, and hopefully, Giles would see it. She had said it all: how there had always been a part of her that loved him. After all, that was why she hadn’t been able to stay with Ben after Hope’s birth; that was why she had needed to drive a moped by herself in a strange country to speak to him on his boat before she agreed to a relationship with Evan. And yes, she knew her timing was horrific. She knew it was probably the engagement and the realisation that he would be gone forever that had given her a kick in the backside to act and do something about it. But she also knew that this wasn’t some fad, that she wasn’t feeling this way simply because she didn’t want someone else to have him. She knew it to the very depth of her bones that if he would give her this chance, then she wouldn’t let him down.
But with the letter written, there then came the issue of delivery.
‘I can’t give it to him directly,’ Holly said to Jamie that evening as she handed her the envelope. ‘He won’t speak to me. He’ll probably just burn it up there and then. I need you to do it. And I need you to do it at a time when Sienna won’t be there.’
‘Really? They’re practically living together now.’
‘I know, but you can make it happen, right? Why don’t you ask him round to babysit the twins?’
Jamie’s eyebrow rose. ‘He wouldn’t buy that,’ Jamie said. ‘Why would I ask him when I have you next door?’
‘Okay, then maybe Fin could invite him for a round of golf or something, and you could see him and give it to him then. But you have to make sure he reads it, okay? You can’t let him just put it in his pocket.’
Jamie let out a sigh. ‘You’re not making this easy, you know. Just talk to him.’
The way Jamie said it made it sound so simple. Like it was an option Holly hadn’t thought of.
‘He won’t pick up when I call him. I have tried. I really have. He won’t even reply to messages. I’ve sent him one almost every day since we got back and he hasn’t replied to any of them.’
‘Perhaps he hasn’t seen them,’ Jamie suggested.
It was Holly’s turn to raise an eyebrow. ‘Please, the letter is the only way. I really need you to give it to him.’
Jamie tightened her lips ever so slightly. ‘Okay, leave it with me. I’ll think of something.’
‘Before the weekend,’ Holly said. ‘I’m not sure I can last any longer than that.’
‘Okay, I will try, but I’m not making any promises. It’s only because I think that you two are destined to be together that I’m doing this. You know that.’
‘You do?’ The comment caught Holly by surprise. They had talked about the situation at length, but it mainly involved Holly crying about having messed things up so royally, and not letting Jamie get a word in edgeways. And while Jamie had made it apparent that she thought something like this would happen countless times, she’d never implied that she thought it should happen.
‘Of course I do,’ Jamie replied. ‘I mean, you bring out the best in each other, don’t you?’
‘I’m not sure he brings out the best in me,’ Holly said. ‘He makes me furious and hot-headed.’
‘And sometimes, you need a bit of that,’ Jamie said. ‘Sometimes, you need someone who allows you to get angry about stuff. Anyway, I’ll work out a way to get this to him.’ She gestured to the envelope.
‘And you’ll let me know as soon as he’s read it?’
‘Yes,’ Jamie said. ‘But only if you stop nagging me about it. Otherwise, Giles might not be the one to burn it. I’ll do it myself.’