Chapter 67
67
If Holly had thought that writing the letter was difficult, waiting for it to be delivered and read was even worse. She was working at the sweet shop every day, which was good in the sense that it kept her distracted and busy, but bad in that her inability to focus meant she kept making mistakes.
‘I asked for marzipan teacakes, not coconut teacakes,’ one customer said.
Another grumbled, ‘Liquorice bullets? I asked for Liquorice Allsorts. I can’t stand liquorice bullets – they’re too hard on my teeth. I thought you knew that.’
‘Sorry, sorry,’ Holly said, putting the wrong sweets back and collecting the correct jar from the shelves. ‘Yes, of course. My mistake. Let me sort that out now.’
‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ her father asked on Friday when he popped into the shop. ‘You don’t seem quite yourself. Do you think you’re coming down with something? You know your mother’s had a terrible head cold these last few weeks. Perhaps you’ve caught it from her.’
‘You’re right,’ Holly lied. ‘Perhaps I have.’
Unfortunately, her confession to an imaginary illness didn’t get her father off her case quite as easily as she’d hoped.
‘Well, you don’t want to pass it on to any customers,’ he continued. ‘Perhaps you shouldn’t be in.’
‘It’ll be fine,’ Holly said. ‘I’m fine.’
‘I’d ring Greta if I were you. Or I can cover if you’d like.’
‘Honestly, Dad. I’ll be fine. I’m sure I’ll be feeling right as rain tomorrow.’
‘Well, if you’re not, I’d book an appointment at the doctor’s. The last thing you want is to be out of action when the summer season hits in full.’
‘Okay. Yes, Dad. I will.’
Holly would have breathed a sigh of relief when her dad finally left, only while he had been happy to believe her excuse about a head cold, Caroline was not.
‘Something is going on with you,’ she said. ‘I know it is, and I know whatever it is Jamie knows too because I asked her, and she was all funny with me, and that doesn’t normally happen. I don’t understand. Are you dating somebody? Is that what it is?’
Holly let out a long groan. She loved Caroline to bits, and she also knew that there was no way her friend was going to drop the issue. So rather than sticking with her original excuse or even manufacturing another, it just seemed easier to relent.
‘If I tell you, that is it. I tell you and then we let it go. It is not up for discussion. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t even want to tell you, but you probably deserve to know, so I’m going to. After that though, I don’t want to talk about it or anything to do with it. I don’t want to hear the names of the people I mention to you heard under this roof. Or at all. Ever. Understood?’
‘Understood,’ Caroline said, using her finger to mark a cross over her heart, the way they used to do when they were at school. ‘So I was right. There is something going on?’
‘There is.’
The corners of Caroline’s mouth twitched excitedly. ‘Is it to do with Giles? Is it to do with him getting married? Have you suddenly realised that you’re in love with him and don’t want him to be with anyone else?’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Oh my God!’ Caroline squealed. ‘That’s amazing. Michael and I were taking bets on when you’d realise. So have you told Giles already?’
Holly let out a groan. ‘Did everybody see I was in love with Giles except me?’
‘Maybe Giles too. I think he just didn’t want to admit it to himself. You know, in case he got his hopes up and you broke his heart. Again.’
Holly stifled a bitter laugh. The fact that anyone could think she would be the one to break Giles’s heart when she was the one completely broken could have been amusing, if it didn’t hurt so damn much.
‘So, are you going to tell him?’ Caroline said, a grin spreading on her face as she clapped her hands excitedly. ‘Oh my God, this is amazing! I mean, it’s terrible for Sienna, but really, I’ve had stomach bugs that have been around longer than she has and honestly, I think she’s a bit of a bitch. So when are you going to do it? When are you going to tell him you’re in love with him? What are you going to say?’
Holly rolled her eyes. ‘Do you remember me saying I didn’t want to discuss this at all? This feels like a discussion.’
‘I just need a couple more details.’ Caroline’s eyes begged her. ‘I just want to know when you’re going to tell him.’
Holly let out a long sigh. This was why she didn’t want to talk about it. Because it meant reliving the humiliation again.
‘I did. I already told him.’
‘You did?’ Caroline’s hand flew up to her mouth. ‘This is amazing!’
‘No, I’m afraid it’s not. It’s not going to happen.’
Caroline’s jaw hung open. ‘What? You can’t be serious. He adores you.’
‘Well, apparently, that’s not enough, and it’s okay. Maybe… I mean, he doesn’t trust that I won’t break his heart, and I get that, so I’ve written him a letter, and Jamie is going to deliver it, and we’ll just have to see what he says.’
‘Oh my God, this is… this is bizarre,’ Caroline said. ‘You and Giles Caverty. At freaking last!’
Holly couldn’t help but laugh. ‘It is not a given thing. Giles is engaged, remember? And he’s all about doing the right thing now. That includes not breaking off engagements.’
‘Right, right. But let’s be honest, none of us really liked her, did we?’
‘You’re not helping, Caroline.’
‘I thought I was.’
Holly shook her head, though she had to admit that talking to Caroline about it had made her feel better. There was a lightness about it, a good humour. Whenever she spoke to Jamie about the situation, she always ended up in tears; this was good.
‘This is actually completely amazing news,’ Caroline continued. ‘Think of it this way: even if it doesn’t work out between you two, it’s a sign that you can love again, right? I think for a long time, you thought that wasn’t possible. Now you know it is. You’re ready to put yourself out there and find someone who adores you. That’s got to be a win.’
‘Maybe,’ Holly said. It was definitely a good way to look at things, but she wasn’t convinced she’d ever be able to put her heart on the line again after this. This was it. She could feel it in her very bones. It was Giles or no one. And she was about to say as much when she glanced out the window and saw Jamie walking towards her. Her expression was serious. Her hands clenched at her sides.
Holly’s heart did a double somersault and landed somewhere near the top of her throat. She knew without a doubt what that meant. Jamie had done it; she had given Giles the letter.
‘Hey, Caroline,’ Jamie said as she walked into the shop. ‘I just need to grab Holly for a minute.’
Within an instant, Caroline had sprung around from the counter, shut the front door, and switched the sign to Closed .
‘Like hell you do! I’m still on the first part; I need to know about this. Whatever’s going on, I’m 100 per cent in.’
Jamie looked at Holly.
‘So you finally told her about the kiss?’
‘What?’ Caroline said. ‘She didn’t say there was a kiss. You kissed him? You told me you were in love with him.’
This was not what Holly wanted. She wanted to find out what Giles had said to Jamie, but Caroline was involved now too. She might as well know everything.
‘Well, I only realised I loved him after I kissed him. I told him up in Anglesey and he said he wouldn’t risk a relationship with me, so I wrote him a letter to tell him there was no risk. I was all his. That’s pretty much it.’ At this, she turned to her other friend. ‘Did you give it to him? Did you give him the letter?’
Jamie nodded. That was it, a single nod. Could she not tell Holly needed more? Her heart was racing, adrenaline coursing through her veins and there was a very good chance she was going to be sick.
‘And… did he read it? Could you watch him read it?’
‘I did.’
‘And how did he look? What did he say?’
‘I don’t know. He… he got a pen, and he wrote on it and he asked me to give it back to you.’
‘What?’ Holly said.
Jamie reached into her bag and pulled out the letter. ‘I don’t know what it says. I didn’t read it. And he wasn’t writing for very long. Are you sure you want to do this here? Maybe I should’ve waited till you got home.’
‘No, no, this is what I wanted. I wanted to know as soon as possible.’
Jamie still held the letter in her hand. The seal was broken, and the paper inside was slightly crumpled. He had, without a doubt, taken it out and read it. He knew exactly how Holly felt.
‘He wrote something on it?’
‘I think so,’ Jamie said.
Holly nodded. ‘I think I might go upstairs, if you don’t mind,’ she said, taking the envelope from Jamie.
‘Of course not.’
‘Go.’
When Holly’s foot was on the bottom step of the staircase, she hesitated. ‘Actually, no. I’ve changed my mind. I think I’d like you guys here.’ She drew in a long breath, which she blew back out as she tried to steady her pulse. ‘Okay, here goes. Wish me luck.’