30. Elliot
ELLIOT
M y dick had been semi-hard since that picture she sent me. Stepping onto the elevator in my apartment building, knowing exactly what I was about to walk in on, made my cock fully come to life.
When the doors opened, I took one step off the elevator and had to stop and adjust myself. My jeans had my erect dick pinched painfully. After making a minor adjustment, I was able to carry on down the hall to my apartment door.
I slid the key into the lock and twisted, but there was no resistance like there would be if the door had been locked.
I hated the thought of her being inside alone, nearly naked, with the door unlocked for just anyone to walk in on.
I made a mental note to tell her to try to keep it locked, even if she was inside.
I walked in and tossed my keys on the table before turning and locking the door behind me.
“Honey, I’m home,” I called out, jokingly.
We’d been playing house for around a month, and I was really getting used to having her around.
I liked knowing that I’d have someone to talk to about my day.
I enjoyed having dinner with her every night, even when it wasn’t anything special.
Most nights, we ate on the couch, in front of the TV, in nothing but our pajamas, but I loved every minute of it.
What I loved more was having her in my bed all night long.
Waking with her beside me was better than I ever imagined it could be.
I expected to see her shoes and bag by the entryway table like usual, but that spot was empty.
I shrugged it off and pushed my way deeper, rounding the couch and going to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine to share.
There was a bottle that we’d opened the day before, so I pulled it out of the fridge and removed the cork.
I tossed it aside, knowing that what was left wouldn’t last another evening.
I drank directly from the bottle as I exited the kitchen and moved across the living room.
“Ready or not, here I come,” I called out, moving down the hallway. I expected her to be in the bedroom, but I stopped when I saw the door to my home office was cracked. Confused, I pushed against it until it was fully open. I looked inside and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.
My desk was set in the back, center of the room, and my computer in the corner so I could see the empty chair on the other side.
She wasn’t anywhere else in the room, so I shrugged off the feeling of worry that had started to eat at me and turned to continue into the bedroom.
I took another swig from the bottle as I came to a stop outside my closed bedroom door.
I grabbed the knob and twisted as I pushed. The door opened to an empty room. I frowned as I stepped in. I thought she’d be on the bed, but when I found it empty, I looked around. The sweater she’d had on in the picture was wadded up and lying on the floor next to a pair of high heels.
I set the bottle of wine on a table as I walked over to pick up the sweater and shoes.
“Evie? Are you here, baby?” I called out, stepping into the closet.
She wasn’t inside, but I put the sweater and shoes away before turning and walking out.
I checked the attached bathroom. When I still couldn’t find her, I turned to…
I don’t know, look somewhere else, even though I’d already looked in every room of the apartment.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had happened in my office.
The door was always shut, so the fact that it was left cracked made me wonder if she’d gone inside.
A panic rose inside of me, even though I didn’t know why.
I hadn’t hidden anything in there that I didn’t want her to find.
I moved into my office and started walking around it slowly, taking in everything to see if there was anything out of place. I couldn’t find anything.
I didn’t know what was going on. The last I heard from her, she was planning on teaching me a lesson, so why wasn’t she there?
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and plopped down in the chair behind my desk.
I thought maybe she’d just run out to get something.
I was in the middle of calling her when the light from my computer screen caught my eye.
I guess falling into the chair caused enough of a jar that it woke the computer.
My mouth fell open when I saw everything that was open.
There was stuff there that I hadn’t left open.
The stupid fucking paper that I wrote to trap her into our agreement was there.
I had it open but minimized because I was staring at it while trying to figure out how to come clean about everything.
I knew the truth had to come out to keep it from popping up when I least expected it, ruining everything.
But apparently, I was too late because that’s exactly what happened.
Not only did she find the paper that she purchased, but she also found the emails between me and the student I was paying to do all my bidding. The last email she read was the one where I drunkenly said I was going to use her to get back at her brother, who fucked me over.
She knew everything.
She knew that I wrote the paper. That I was the one who sold her the paper. She’s a smart girl, so there wasn’t any way that she didn’t piece things together.
She knew that I took advantage of her, that I trapped her into this relationship.
And she thought that everything that happened between us all boiled down to revenge, and it wasn’t because I gave a damn.
She didn’t know that everything I’d said was true.
She didn’t know that I was madly in love with her, and the thought of losing her was like taking a red-hot branding iron to my skin.
She didn’t know that there was no way I could survive without her.
It felt like someone had reached into my chest, like they were squeezing my heart in their fist. I’d lost her. I knew I’d never get her back.
I could barely breathe. It was like my chest was so tight that my lungs couldn’t fill with air. My hands began to shake as I tried to figure out what to do. They were shaking so much that I nearly dropped my phone when I tapped on her number. It didn’t even ring. It just went straight to voicemail.
She’d turned it off because she didn’t want me to call. She knew I would.
“Fuck,” I snarled as I tossed my phone onto my desk. I rolled my chair forward and grabbed the mouse, where I began closing out the things she’d left open.
That’s when I noticed that she saw the reply I’d sent just an hour earlier.
She even saw the receipt from where I paid my little spy.
She knew I’d been watching her. She knew that I’d been watching Chase.
She probably thought that I didn’t trust her, and that wasn’t the case.
I trusted her. I didn’t trust him. I knew he’d try for her given the chance.
I’d already seen him do it a number of times.
I was struck by panic. What if she was so upset with me that she ran to him?
I stood so fast that it sent my chair rolling across the floor until it bumped into the wall behind me. If he touched her, I’d fucking kill him. She was mine. She belonged to me and only me.
I couldn’t stand the thought of another man touching her, kissing her, seeing her in the ways that only I had. My hands and my mouth had branded her skin. There wasn’t an inch of her that I hadn’t tasted. I wasn’t fucking willing to share that with anyone. Ever.
If she refused to answer her phone, the only other way I knew how to get hold of her was by going to her place, but that’s something we both agreed that I should avoid.
It was too dangerous for us there. Her friends or even Gabe could drop by at any time and catch us together.
We were only safe at my place. Her friends had no business stopping at my apartment, and Gabe knew he wasn’t welcome.
I doubted that he even knew where I lived.
It wasn’t like I could just go to her place and knock on the door, begging her to let me in.
I couldn’t even catch up to her in public to beg for forgiveness.
If she didn’t want to hear me out, there was no way that I could make her.
The only thing I could do was give her space and hope that she calmed down eventually.
I needed her to calm down enough that she’d be willing to hear me out.
But even then, I had no idea how I’d get her to forgive me.
I knew what I did was fucked up. She had every right to hate me.
I couldn’t live with her hating me. I couldn’t live if I had to stand back and watch her move on with some other guy.
I thought back on the few times I’d seen her with Chase, and the jealousy started to boil in my stomach. My entire body felt like it had been lit on fire as sweat prickled my skin from the rage inside of me. I knew that the bottle of wine I grabbed when I got home wouldn’t do what I needed.
I needed something stronger.
I moved toward the kitchen with deliberate steps, bound and determined to pour as much liquor down my throat as possible.
I wanted to be so fucking wasted that I couldn’t remember her name.
I wondered how much that would take? Was there enough alcohol in the world to make me forget her, even if only for a night?
I had to try.
I had to do anything that would keep me from going to her. Having your professor banging on the door while begging for forgiveness would draw too much attention. I had to give her space and hope that she would come to me.
I grabbed a bottle of Jameson and removed the cap.
I tossed it toward the trash can before bringing the glass to my lips.
I took a large gulp, and then another, and then another.
My stomach revolted, trying to fight against the burn, but sheer willpower kept it down.
I felt nauseous, like I’d drunk a vat of poison, but I knew that would wear off as the effects took hold.
With the bottle in my hand, I made my way back to the living room, where I fell onto the couch.
It was too quiet without her there. The TV wasn’t on, and there weren’t any sounds of movement like there normally would be.
My eyes scanned over the contents of the coffee table.
The remote was where I put it last night when I decided to carry her to bed after she fell asleep with her head on my lap.
Her too-large insulated tumbler was still there, probably full of water she always intended on drinking, but always ended up forgetting.
Her socks were still on the floor by the leg of the table, having been pulled off by her as she got cozy while we watched the show she insisted we watch.
A stupid fucking show that I avoided for years but ended up getting sucked into after giving her her way.
I brought the bottle back to my lips, taking a smaller swig. I took out my phone and decided to send her a message, even though I knew she wouldn’t get it. She had to turn her phone on eventually, though.
ELLIOT: I know what you must be thinking.
I know how bad all of this looks, but please, give me the chance to explain.
What we have is too special to discard simply because we don’t have all the information.
I understand that you have every right to be mad, and that’s why I’m not coming for you right now.
I want to give you however much time you need.
If you want to talk, meet me in my office in the morning before class. I’ll wait for you, Evie.
The rest of the night I spent swimming in a bottle until I was too drunk to hold my eyes open, but I could still remember her name.
Note to self: it would take a lot more than one bottle to forget. Maybe tomorrow I’ll try two.
I felt like shit when I woke up, but I remembered everything from the day before. I had to force myself up so I could get to campus in case she did want to talk. I knew not to hold my breath, though.
I showered, got dressed, and headed toward campus. I grabbed a cup of coffee and a breakfast sandwich on the way to help sober me up, and washed down a couple of Tylenol in hopes of getting rid of the hangover.
I was one of the first people on campus, so the place was quiet. I ended up taking a nap on the leather sofa in my office until the first class started.
I wasn’t surprised that she didn’t come to me. I was devastated.
I wondered if she’d even read the text or if she deleted it the second she saw my name. Still, I expected her to come to class. Despite what was going on with us, I knew she still had to keep her attendance up to keep her scholarship, so I played the waiting game, anxiously.
It was almost time for her class to start when a staff member walked into my class. “Professor West. How are you doing this morning?” she asked, holding out a piece of paper.
“I’ve been better. What is this?” I asked, taking the paper.
“We have a student who is dropping your class.”
I looked down to see Evelyn’s name. “But she’s here on an academic scholarship that requires her to keep a full schedule.”
The older lady shrugged. “I just do what I’m told. Have a good day, Professor.” She turned and walked toward the door just as everyone was moving in for class. I stood behind my podium with that slip in my hand, waiting for her to arrive and tell me it was just a joke.
She never did.