31. Evelyn
EVELYN
“ W hat do you mean you’re going home?” Madison asked as she watched me move around my room, tossing my things into a duffle. “You’ll lose your scholarship, Eve.”
“I won’t lose my scholarship,” I told her, not slowing down on my packing.
“I told the counselor that I was having a hard time dealing with things this year because of my parents, and he said that I could take my classes online for the rest of the semester. I dropped the only class I had that wasn’t offered online, and I picked up another one, so I keep my full-time status.
I’ll move back home and do everything online, and then I can transfer somewhere else next semester.
” I had it all planned out. It wasn’t ideal, but it would work, and it would get me away from Elliot.
“I just don’t understand why you’re doing this so abruptly. We just hung out last weekend, and you were happy.”
“Yeah, well… Things change.”
“What did Gabe say to you when you told him you were coming home?”
I shrugged. “I haven’t told him, but the house is mine too, so it’s not like he can stop me. I’m sure he wouldn’t try to anyway.”
“And what about this apartment? Didn’t you sign a lease?”
I nodded. “I’ll lose my deposit.”
It sucked, but I didn’t have any other choice.
There was no way I could stay there. I didn’t know if Elliot would put up a fight or not, but either way, I couldn’t continue to sit in his class every day.
I couldn’t stand to see him, to look into his eyes and not melt. Not after the things he’d done.
I still hadn’t wrapped my head around it all yet.
Some things didn’t make sense. I understood his need for revenge, and I even got why he’d drag me into it.
Of course, he wanted to be the one I gave it all up to, but if that’s all he wanted, why didn’t he shove it all down Gabe’s throat the minute he sealed the deal?
Why did he keep it going? Why did he make me fall for him?
He had what he needed. Why take it further?
The voice in the back of my head told me why: because he’s fucked up. Because he wasn’t satisfied with just breaking Gabe. He wanted to hurt me, too.
It was all just a game to him. I needed to figure out what I was going to tell my brother when Elliot went to rub it in his face, but I didn’t have it in me to care. I didn’t care if my brother knew that I’d been fucking his ex-best friend.
Deep down, I knew this would hurt Gabe. We didn’t get to talk as much these days because we had our own lives, and I always felt so guilty because he spent years making sure I had everything I needed, that I didn’t want to be a bother to him as an adult, especially not when he was newly married to Linsay and expecting a baby.
I shook the thoughts from my head and decided to stay focused on packing so I could get out of there.
“I gotta get to class.” Madison stood and pulled on her coat as she watched me. “Want to hang out later? I’ll order a pizza and we can binge-watch Netflix?” Her brows rose in hopefulness.
“I’m going to finish packing, and I’m taking off. Thanks, though.”
She walked over to me and pulled me in for a hug. I felt the tears sting my eyes, but I closed them and willed them away.
“I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too,” I whispered, meaning it.
I would miss her. Madison and I had always been together.
I thought we’d always stay together, too, but after everything that happened, there was no way I could face Elliot.
The only choice I had was to tuck tail and run like I should’ve done the day he offered that deal.
What the hell was I thinking?
She pulled away. “I’ll call you tonight and make sure you got in safe.”
I nodded.
“Love you, Eve. Be safe.”
“Love you too,” I replied, watching her go.
Once she walked out, I sighed and turned to look over my room. My eyes landed on my cellphone that had been shut off since the night before. I moved across the room and sat down on the edge of my bed. Picking up the phone, I turned it on.
It took a moment before it booted up, but once it did, I only had a single notification go off.
I opened my text messages, and sure enough, there was a single text from him.
I read it and deleted it. I tossed the phone aside and got up, going back to work.
But as I moved about, packing my things, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was doing the right thing.
Should I give him the chance to explain? There was an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, and the two were fighting. What was the point in allowing him to explain when I knew it would just be a bunch of lies to have me trapped in his web once again?
And when everything boiled down to the basics, it was all pointless anyway.
There were no guarantees. Even if I forgave him, eventually, he’d grow tired of me and he’d move on, trapping another student in his clutches.
It made me wonder how many times he’d done that over the years.
Was I the first, the first of many, or was I just another dumb kid who let him take advantage of her?
The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. But with that anger came energy that pushed me forward. It wasn’t long until I was making my way home in the back of an Uber, with all of my belongings.
The ride home cost me a fortune, basically emptying what was left in my bank account.
I planned to go job hunting the next day so that I could provide for myself, since I had a place to stay.
The ride home seemed longer than usual, but maybe that was just because I was in such a hurry to get away, to hide.
The sun was setting when I finally made it home. Nothing had changed, even though I expected it to for some reason. As I walked up the sidewalk, toward the front door, I almost felt like I was sixteen again. I felt so small, so broken, so unsure of where life was taking me.
Just when I reached for the doorknob, the door opened from the inside. Gabe looked at me with surprise and confusion painting his face.
“Eve… what are you doing here?” He pulled me in for a hug so tight that he lifted my feet off the ground.
“I left school. I’m moving back home,” I told him when he put me down. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at your apartment in the city? Are you and Lindsay OK?”
“We’re fine,” he said, releasing me and ushering me inside.
“The lease was up, and I didn’t want to renew while we waited to find a new place.
It made sense to stay here. Lindsay went to visit her parents while I came here to get some work done.
We’re considering making this our permanent home. She likes the area.”
I nodded. Made sense.
“What happened?” He pressed.
I took a look around. Nothing much had changed inside.
Every photograph was still hanging on the wall where Mom hung them.
The smell was even the same. If I closed my eyes, I knew that I could almost make myself believe that I was just a kid again.
If I tried real hard, I could probably convince myself that Mom was in the kitchen, cooking dinner.
That Dad was in the garage, tinkering with the lawnmower.
“What’s going on, Eve? Leaving school? That isn’t like you,” Gabe said.
When I looked up at him, I saw the disappointment written on his face.
I shrugged as my eyes filled with tears. “I just… couldn’t do it. I needed to be back here. Is it okay if I stay here for a little while?”
“Of course it is. It’s your house too. You’re always welcome here, and you know that, but why are you quitting school? You worked so hard for this.”
“I’m not quitting. I’m going to take my classes online, and I plan to transfer to a location closer to my home next semester. I’ll still graduate on time. The only difference will be that I’ll be living at home and going to a different school.
His brows were knitted together as he stood with his arms crossed over his chest. He rubbed his hand against his jaw, almost like he was trying to figure out if he should let me do this or not. Not knowing what else to do, he shrugged. “Alright. You want some dinner? I can run out and?—”
“No, thank you. I’m not hungry. I just want to go up to my room and sleep for the next week.” I grabbed my bag from his hand so I was holding all three of them. “Just forget that I’m even here,” I said, already moving up the steps.
I could feel him watching me as I made my way up, but I didn’t turn back. I just kept going until I was inside my childhood bedroom. I dropped my things on the floor and sighed as I looked around the room.
Nothing was out of place. Everything was exactly as I’d left it.
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised by that.
My vanity was still covered in makeup, perfumes, and lotions.
My bookcase was still filled with all the books I’d acquired over the years.
Some Babysitter’s Club, Goosebumps, Sweet Valley High, that my mom tried to get me into, but I never got bored enough to try, and then all of the college prep books I forced my parents to buy just to run away from college like it hadn’t been the goal my entire life.
There was a family picture of the four of us sitting on my bedside table.
I sat on the edge of my bed and picked up the frame.
I studied my dad’s face. He had a wide smile and big, green eyes.
He was so happy in this photo. I loved that three seconds before the photo was taken, he grabbed my mom and pulled her into his lap.
She was surprised, her mouth wide open, but he was looking directly at the camera and grinning as if he had the whole thing planned.
On the floor, Gabe and I were playing at his feet.
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I swear I’ve been trying,” I told his picture before putting the frame back on the table and lying down.
I tucked my hand under my pillow and felt something thin and stiff beneath it.
I grabbed the paper and pulled it out, finding a picture of Elliot and me from the last summer he visited.
My mom took the picture just days before she passed away. She came home from work and found Gabe and me playing chicken in the pool with Elliot and a girl named Jenna, who had a crush on my brother. Of course, Gabe wanted Jenna on his shoulders, so I was on Elliot’s.
In the picture, I was sitting on Elliot’s shoulders, and he was standing in the shallow end of the pool.
His hard, tanned chest was exposed. He was grinning with his eyes angled up like he was trying to look at me.
I was smiling widely too. I was more than happy to have his head between my thighs, even in an innocent way.
I sighed and tossed the picture onto the table as I rolled away. I closed my eyes and gave in to the exhaustion that had chased me all the way home. I could finally rest. Or at least, I was going to try since I forgot my teddy bear at Elliot’s.
I rolled over and knocked into something hard. “Ouch,” I sighed as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to wake you,” Elliot said.
His voice made me sit straight up. “What are you doing here? Who let you in?” I asked, knowing that Gabe never would have let him in.
“I let myself in. Nothing else around here has changed. Do you really think the hidden key would’ve moved?”
Of course it didn’t.
“You need to go. Now.” I spun around and put my feet on the floor.
Just as I was about to stand, he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back.
I tried to fight against him, but it was no use.
In the blink of an eye, I went from sitting on the edge of the bed to lying flat on my back with him on top of me.
His hand was around my throat, and his face hovered just above mine. I could feel his weight pressing me into the bed. I could feel his hips between my thighs, and as badly as I hated to admit it, it felt good having him against me.
“I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you,” he said, squeezing my throat slightly. “I told you, you belong to me. Did you really think I’d just let you walk away?”
“I’m not yours anymore. You lied to me. You used me.” Tears formed in my eyes before they rolled over my cheeks.
“I may have lied to you, but it was for your own good. And drop the you used me bullshit. You used me, too. You were just fine letting me take whatever I wanted from you as long as you got good grades out of the deal.” He lowered his mouth to my jaw, kissing his way up to my ear.
“Don’t act like this isn’t what you wanted all along,” he whispered.
“You knew what I was doing, and you went along with it.” He nipped my earlobe.
“That isn’t true. I didn’t know that you were using me as revenge. I fell in love with you.” More tears leaked from my eyes.
“There’s nothing wrong with that. Plenty of pets love their owners. It’s what makes them obedient.” He ran his tongue across my bottom lip as he rocked his hips into me. A spark came to life in my stomach, and my body grew warm.
“Get the fuck out of my way!”
My eyes popped open, and I looked around my empty room, confused by that dream.
“I said get the fuck out of my way,” Elliot said again, only I wasn’t dreaming.
“I said no,” Gabe replied, and that’s when I realized what woke me.
It wasn’t the dream. It was his voice.
Elliot had come for me, and he was confronting my brother, whom he hadn’t seen in years.