Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
I t felt like we'd only been working a few hours when Kell popped his head into the room, interrupting a heated discussion between Ren and me over how many bars the intro should be. Working with someone as smart as Ren was eye-opening. My fellow students were skilled and my professors were all accomplished in their fields, but Ren was something else. As a professional working artist, he lived and breathed music. I felt like a little kid putting bow to strings for the first time compared to him.
Luckily, I managed to keep it together on the outside and hold my own against him. He never noticed how intimidated I was. I hoped.
"Hey lovebirds, it's quittin' time!" Kell declared.
The day had flown by. We'd skipped lunch and dinner and the band was getting ready to go out drinking.
"I've got class tomorrow," I said nervously, not exactly sure I was up to whatever shenanigans might take place during a rock star drinking party.
"It's fine," Kell said, dismissing my concern with a wave of his hand. I waited for him to finish the sentence, to reassure me they wouldn't be out late or that the night wouldn't get too rowdy, but he just looked at me expectantly. "You kids coming?"
I blinked, taken aback at his laissez-faire attitude, but Ren just laughed. "Sure. We've done enough work for today, I think." He turned to me with a smile. "I'll make sure to get you home before your carriage turns back into a pumpkin, okay?"
"I'm not Cinderella," I muttered, gathering my things together. The last thing I wanted was for this relationship to start off on unequal footing. Ren wasn't a prince and I wasn't some poverty-stricken young woman just waiting to be rescued.
Well, I supposed the poverty-stricken part was sort of true.
I mulled over that thought as we all piled into a limousine. The whole band was there, including their PR person, Ailey. She and Jayce looked pretty snuggly together in the backseat. I tried not to stare as his hand slowly moved further and further down her back. She slapped at his chest every time he drifted too close to her ass. He would just smirk and continue testing the boundaries. The other guys completely ignored them, so I assumed it was a regular occurrence.
"It's nice to meet you again," Ailey had said after Jayce tugged her into the vehicle behind him. "I felt bad cutting your reunion short last time. I'm glad you and Ren managed to work things out."
Her smile was so genuine that I thought she really must have been pleased for us. Then her phone pinged and she immediately pulled it out, forgetting about me before I could reply. "Oh dammit, another one," she grumbled, typing away furiously with her thumbs.
"Sorry about that," Jayce said, tilting his head in her direction. "Ailey's always on call."
"Poor internet girl," Kell sighed. "Fangirls never sleep, so neither does she." Kell scooted over next to me. I pressed back into the seat, startled, but he wasn't paying attention to me. Instead, he leaned over my shoulder and lowered the partition between us and the driver. "Hey, can you make a stop first?" The driver mumbled something back and Kell grinned. "Exactly. Thanks, man." Kell sat back into his seat. "We're gonna pick up one more before we head to the club."
"Which club?" I asked. Not that it mattered—I wouldn't have recognized the name anyway.
"It's brand new, just opened. I forget what it's called. Something flashy."
"It's called Typhoon," Morris said.
Kell snapped his fingers. "That's the one. Every drink is named after some natural disaster."
I wrinkled my nose. "That's kind of sick."
"They've been sending Ailey emails for months asking us to pay a visit. I guess they want the PR."
"They want all the girls who will show up once the word is out that Feral Silence will be there," Ailey cut in, not looking up from her phone. "They've given me permission to take photos and videos inside and post them on our social profiles." Ailey shoved her phone back in her pocket and gave Kell a stern look. "No over the top crazy antics tonight. Best behavior."
"No fun," Kell complained. "I remember when you used to get just as hammered as the rest of us. Deena's a bad influence on you."
The limo turned a corner and slowed down. Kell brightened up and reached for the handle before the vehicle had completely stopped, practically throwing himself out the door.
"Emily!" I heard him cry.
Kell returned moments later with a pretty girl beside him. Her shiny auburn hair showed black at the roots and her dark, almond-shaped eyes sparkled with excitement.
"Hey guys!" She gave us all a bright smile as she climbed in. Kell tried to tug her onto his lap, but she shoved him off and sat beside him, buckling up properly. She looked at me curiously, but Kell jumped in before I could introduce myself.
"This is Ivy, Ren's girlfriend."
I nearly choked on my own tongue and blushed, feeling hot and dizzy. I snuck a glance at Ren, but he only looked pleased, not upset. My heart fluttered madly. I guessed that answered that question.
Emily gave me a knowing stare. " The Ivy? The one who—" she cut herself off, then continued, "the one who talked to Ren after the concert?"
"For the record, I didn't throw myself at him."
Emily laughed. "Don't worry. I know how fangirls and internet trolls can be. They love to play with the truth."
From the way Kell's eyes softened whenever he looked at her, I could tell he was besotted. According to the internet, Kell was a total manwhore. He was always flirting and stripping on stage, not to mention the rumors of one night stands with groupies. But he clearly thought that Emily hung the moon.
Emily was right. The internet was the last place I should look for the truth.
Typhoon was just like the concert venue where I'd first seen Ren play. It was dark, loud, and warm from body heat. I was immediately uncomfortable.
Luckily, Ailey had arranged a private booth on the second floor. It overlooked the dance floor and was semi-secluded. People from the first floor could look up and see us, but we were relatively hidden on the second floor. It was the perfect spot to show off while still avoiding fangirls.
Kell made sure I had a drink in my hand before doing anything else. I wondered if he thought I was too tense and needed to loosen up. He wasn't exactly wrong.
"This is a killer drink," he told me.
"What is it?" I examined the neon green concoction.
"No idea!" he said cheerfully, then bounced off to pluck Ailey's phone from her hand. "Stop working. Start boozing."
She jumped up to grab it from his hands as he held it over her head. "Quit it. I'm on the clock."
"Stop bugging the poor girl," Ren hooked an arm around my waist and pecked me on the cheek. It sent a wave of heat flooding through me, making my insides tingle in an entirely inappropriate way in public. I looked down at my drink and blushed. Was he the physically affectionate type? Did he like PDA? I wasn't sure I was okay with that. A kiss on the cheek was fine, though. "You doing okay?" he asked, giving me a concerned look. I must have seemed overwhelmed.
"I'm fine." I took a small sip of my drink, so sugary I almost couldn't taste the alcohol. "It's loud," I added.
"You get used to it," he said. "Although it might just be I've lost half my hearing from performing concerts." He gave me a grin and squeezed my hand.
"Drinking game time!" Kell declared, holding his glass up in salute.
The rest of the band groaned, including Ailey. Emily just looked eager.
"Drinking game?" I asked Ren.
He looked long-suffering. "Kell likes to get drunk and force us to confess our deepest darkest secrets. He calls it a 'bonding exercise'."
"Uh. I don't know if?—"
"It'll be fun!" Kell chirped, interrupting me. "Here, I'll go first. Never have I ever…" he looked around at the group of us expectantly. "Given a girl an orgasm five times in a row." Emily's mouth gaped open as Kell knocked back the rest of his drinks in one go.
"Why do you do this to me?" she groaned, planting her face in her hands, cheeks flushed red hot.
"Aren't you only supposed to drink if you've done it?" I asked. "Why would Kell say something he's done when the game is never have I ever ?"
"Because he's an arrogant, bragging narcissist," Morris said, monotone.
I was probably going to stay completely sober. I didn't have much in the way of wild, crazy life experiences. Not like rock stars would.
"Your turn, Ivy!" Kell grinned.
I had no idea what to do, so I said the first thing that popped into my head. "Never have I ever gone fishing."
Kell scrunched up his face. "You suck at this."
"You put me on the spot!"
Ren patted me on the back consolingly. "It's okay. There's nothing in the rules that says it has to be something crazy or sexual."
"No, but it makes it more fun." Jayce zeroed in on Ailey and smirked. "Never have I ever given a blowjob backstage."
Her whole body jerked as she coughed violently. Emily looked on, wide-eyed.
"Now that's the kind of stuff you don't put online," Morris muttered.
"You gonna take that drink?" Jayce asked, his tone wicked.
She threw him a murderous look. After taking a sip, she lowered her glass, expression immediately changing into a sweet smile. "Never have I ever gotten my feet tangled on wires on stage and tripped and made a fool out of myself in front of thousands of people." Her sweet smile turned into an evil grin as Jayce glared at her.
"I barely stumbled," he grumbled.
"It made international news. Drink."
He did so grudgingly.
It was Ren's turn next. "Never have I ever…" he trailed off and looked at me, giving me a soft smile. "Reunited with the boy who's had a crush on me since high school."
My heart fluttered and my cheeks heated up. Was he saying…?
"You should drink," he added.
I blushed and ducked my head before taking a big gulp, avoiding everyone's eyes. His words were just as sweet as my drink—almost too sweet to be said in public.
Morris spoke up. I thought his turn would distract everyone and save me from too much embarrassment.
"Never have I ever talked about one girl non-stop to the point where my bandmates told me to just get married already."
Ren thumped his head back against the tall booth behind him and groaned.
"Drink." Morris ordered. Ren did so, giving me a sheepish smile.
"Never have I ever checked my phone every 30 seconds waiting to hear from the girl I'm obsessed with." Kell winked at Emily and took a drink.
"It's not your turn! Why are you ganging up on me?" Ren complained, but he was laughing as he said it. He took another drink.
Emily went next. "Never have I ever flashed a crowd of people."
"What counts as flashing?" Kell asked.
"Drink," everyone at the table except me commanded. He obeyed, not looking even slightly ashamed.
"Now it's officially my turn," Kell said. "Never have I ever been thrown out of a club."
"We weren't thrown out!" Emily protested.
"We were just kindly asked to leave the premises," Ailey added.
"Doesn't matter," Kell grinned. "Drink up."
Ailey and Emily grumbled as they sipped. To my surprise, Morris took a drink as well.
It was my turn again. I should have been preparing what to say, but I was too absorbed in everyone else's confessions. "Never have I ever…" What did rock stars do? "…made out in a moving vehicle."
Every single person at that table took a drink. I was pleased with myself for a moment until I realized that I hadn't taken a single drink yet aside from Ren's turn. I started to get self-conscious. I didn't have any of the cool experiences these people had. God, I was so boring.
Gloom began to settle in my chest. Emily must have noticed, because she reached out and slapped me on the back.
"Sounds like you're in need of a wild, crazy, girl's night out. What do you say, Ailey?"
"Sounds fun," she chirped, then pulled out her phone as it pinged. The offer cheered me up a little.
A loud squeak interrupted before I could answer.
A trio of girls was peeking around the high-backed enclosure of our circular booth, eyes wide and mouths open. All three wore tiny tube tops, one sparkly pink and the other two solid black. Two wore miniskirts while the third had on a tight pair of jeans that hugged her curves in all the right places.
"Excuse me," Tight Jeans spoke. Despite her flabbergasted expression, her voice was deep and throaty, not at all high pitched like I expected. "I'm really, really sorry to interrupt, but me and my friends are huge fans of Feral Silence!" She didn't blink her green eyes once, almost as if she was afraid the band would disappear if she dared close her lids.
Kell got up smoothly with a wicked expression in his eyes. He put an arm around her shoulder and drew her closer. Her mouth popped open as her friends looked on in jealousy.
"I'm so happy to hear that! It's great to see our fans. What's your name?"
"Holly," she breathed through a strangled throat.
He touched her long blond hair and gave her a lascivious grin. "Nice to meet you, Holly. Why don't you girls come join us?"
The three of them nodded so fervently I thought their heads would fall off their necks.
I was surprised at how easily Ailey and Emily squeezed over to make room for the three girls. Weren't they upset? There didn't seem to be a hint of jealously in their eyes. There was a business-like briskness to Ailey's movements, her concentration still on her phone.
Emily's eyes zoomed in on the girls, taking in every detail, examining them like specimens under a microscope. Her face was full of concentration, head tilted as if she was taking mental notes. I wondered what her job was. How she'd met Kell. She seemed like too intense a person to have just been a groupie.
Kell and Jayce chatted with the girls, answering their questions about the meaning of their songs and the cities they'd traveled to. It was warm in the venue. The air was made even more sweltering by the addition of three more people in our booth.
The brash one who'd originally spoken, Tight Jeans, had gotten over her shock and was now grinning and laughing with Kell, his arm still around her shoulder. Jayce was surrounded by the two others. He somehow managed to pay each of them his full attention, neglecting neither.
Morris sat between the girl with Kell and the girl on Jayce's right. Her attention drifted to him and she began to speak to him. He answered in monosyllables, his eyes on his drink. She eventually flitted back to Jayce, who gave her more attention. The girl on Jayce's left had Ren on her other side, but she was simply throwing him furtive glances.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ren wipe a bead of sweat from his brow. It was starting to get stifling. He brought a hand to his collar and started unbuttoning his shirt. I nearly bit my tongue at the hint of his muscled chest. Even though I'd seen it before, the sight of his body still had the power to make me swoon.
I saw the girl on Jayce's other side also watching, drool practically falling from her lips. She leaned closer to Ren and whispered something. He laughed and shook his head. She placed one hand on his chest, half over the collar of his shirt and half touching his skin. He spoke to her again and she replied with a coy smile.
Rage exploded inside me. Rage and a pang of hurt. I wanted to claw this girl's eyes out. I turned around and chugged my drink before I could make a fool of myself.
"You need another?" Emily asked, gesturing to my drink. "I'm going to get a refill at the bar. Why don't you come with me?"
"Sure," I grunted, slamming my empty glass on the table. "Why the hell not."
Emily took my hand and guided me down the stairs, through the dance floor of humping and grinding people, until we reached the bar. The bartender paid her immediate attention, ignoring the others who were there first.
"One Hurricane Ivan and one—" she turned to me. "What were you drinking?"
"No idea."
"Make that two Hurricane Ivans."
He handed her the drinks and she picked them up without exchanging money. Rock stars must have a pretty generous tab.
"Here you go." She handed one of the drinks to me. The glass was dark brown, like a regular soda. "Cheers!" We clinked glasses and drank. I immediately sputtered.
"What the hell is in these?" I asked, choking.
She shrugged and grinned. "No idea. Kell introduced me to it." She took her own small sip. "I don't think that man has any taste buds left, to be honest."
I grimaced, but tried another mouthful. It was better on the second go around.
"How long have you known Ren?" Emily asked, not going back upstairs yet. She leaned casually on the bar. "There are a lot of rumors on the internet about you two."
I didn't know how to answer. Forever? One month?
"We went to music school together as kids. We just recently met up again."
Emily nodded, looking thoughtful. "I can tell this is all pretty new to you."
"This?"
She waved her hand around. "All this. Clubs. Fans. Rock star life." She looked at me over the rim of her glass. "There's nothing to be jealous of, you know."
"I'm not jealous," I replied automatically. Emily lifted an eyebrow and I blushed, looking down at my drink. "Maybe I'm a little jealous," I muttered.
"They don't mean anything," she said. "Those girls? It's just an act. They have to flirt with the fans. It's part of their image. Part of what keeps the fans coming back."
"I know. I get it. I do. It's just…" I trailed off.
"It's hard," Emily said with a sympathetic note in her voice. "I understand. I worried about it, too, when I first met Kell." She shook her head. "I know they all seem like players, but they're good people." Then she snorted. "Well, I don't think I could ever call Kell good . Harmless, maybe."
"That's what my friends have been telling me. They're fans. They say Ren isn't like that."
"He's really not. You can trust him."
Hearing those words from a perfect stranger should have been reassuring. This girl was dating one of the members of Feral Silence. She knew them personally. If she said Ren was a good guy, then I should have believed it. I wanted to believe it.
But I was so out of my depth. I felt uneasy at the club. I had nothing interesting to say when it was my turn to play that drinking game. I didn't know anything about rock music.
Those girls up there probably knew everything about Feral Silence. They were gorgeous in their cute club outfits. They knew how to talk to guys, how to flirt.
Then there were Ailey and Emily. They were so self-assured. So put together. They didn't seem to doubt themselves. All I ever did around Ren was doubt myself.
I looked up to the second floor, where I could see the three girls in the booth with the guys. That girl was still talking to Ren, practically sitting in his lap. I clenched my fist around my drink. I couldn't stop the dark, swirling ball of fear that punched me in my stomach every time a girl touched Ren, every time he smiled at one of them.
He so rarely smiled when we were kids. I liked to think I was the only one with the power to make him smile, but there were so many pretty girls out there, all dying to be with him.
He was still caught up in the surprise of seeing me again. What would happen when the novelty wore off?
What would happen when he realized what everyone else already knew?
Nice girls don't date rock stars.