Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
A s I sat slumped on my sofa, nestled in a pile of blankets and eating vanilla ice cream topped with chocolate syrup from the container while covered in glitter, I realized I was the poster child for the "before" photo of a motivational infomercial.
I'd given up on the arts and crafts portion of my night and decided to spend the rest of my evening brooding. I'd had a hard few days, emotionally speaking, and had hit my limit when the glitter wouldn't stay glued to the styrofoam. I'd been three seconds away from tossing the whole thing in the garbage before I forced myself to take calming breaths and escaped to the kitchen to grab the ice cream.
If Tracey wanted a crystal ball, she'd have to make one herself.
I mindlessly flicked through various news sites on my phone, wanting to keep up to date with the rest of the world. It was all bad, awful, terrible news, one after another. I read up on it anyway, wanting to be well informed, but I was already feeling pretty awful about the state of things, and soon switched to cute animal videos for my own sanity.
I'd had a fight with my mom, a fight with Nathan, and the worst part was, I knew a lot of it was my own damned fault.
Yes, my mother shouldn't have forbid me to see the boy I was dating, and yes, Nathan shouldn't have presumed to tell me that he knew about my heart defect better than my doctors. That was shitty of them. But they were only trying to look out for me, trying to do what was in my best interests. I should have been more patient and understanding. I shouldn't have just stormed out on them.
But I didn't want to back down. I wasn't the only one who had overreacted. I knew I was just being stubborn, but I didn't want to be the one to apologize first.
A knock on my apartment front door startled me, almost making me drop a spoonful of ice cream in my lap. No one ever came to that door. My parents always used the entrance connecting my apartment to the house. It wasn't like I ever got any other visitors.
Maybe my mom was trying something new, since I'd been ignoring her messages for days.
I put the tub back in the freezer and went to the door, unlocking it. I swung the door open.
Nathan was standing in front of me.
I blinked, taken aback, before grabbing him and yanking him inside.
"What are you doing?" I hissed. "My parents might have seen you!"
"I made sure to come around the side of the house," he said. "I don't think they saw me."
"You don't think ?" I slammed the door behind me and turned to face him.
He looked handsome as ever, with his hair falling into his eyes and his tight t-shirt showing off every plane of his chest muscles and tattooed arms. His dark denim jeans were crisp and his sneakers were pristine.
"Is that… glitter?" he asked.
I immediately became aware of my ratty sweat pants, messy hair and glittered skin.
I folded my arms over my chest, suppressing a flush.
"I was doing some crafts for the New Year's in July party," I explained.
"You know that stuff gets everywhere."
"Yes, I do know, thank you," I said. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to apologize," he said. His words were a combination of earnest and chagrinned. "I was doing a lot of thinking and I realized what I did to you was really shitty."
I nodded to show I was listening. "It was."
"I could make excuses and say I was only looking out for you, but I know it's not my place to tell you what to do. You're an adult. You can make your own life choices."
The look in his eyes was pained but sincere. He truly was sorry.
I let my defensive arms fall to my sides.
"I need to apologize, too," I said. "I overreacted by getting so upset. I understand that you were just doing what you thought was best for my health. You were worried about me because you care."
Nathan's eyes lit up with relief.
"I do care," he said. "The last thing I'd want to do is hurt you. I just freaked out at the thought of something happening to you."
The small kernel of anger that was still knotted in my chest began to unwind. The tension in my shoulders relaxed, no longer so on guard. The hopeful look on Nathan's face was my undoing.
He really did care about me.
I went over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head on his chest. His fingers threaded through my hair.
"I know you do," I said. "I think I was just sensitive because of what happened with my mom. It was too much to handle at the same time. It reminded me of all the times I was told no, you can't do this when I was growing up. I thought I'd finally outgrown that stage of my life and it frustrated me to think I was being shoved back into that position again."
"I'm sorry I made you feel that way." He leaned his cheek on the top of my head. "I'll try not to freak out about stuff."
"And I promise to be more understanding about it and not storm off in a huff. I promise that I'll try to talk it out with you and work on a compromise."
Nathan squeezed me tight. His warm arms around my waist were reassuring, comforting. I had someone to look out for me. Someone I could rely on to care about me. If that meant I had to put up with a little smothering, I could deal with it.
"You're really good at this forgiveness thing," he said.
"There's nothing to forgive," I said. "I get where you were coming from." I pulled back into his arms. "But I don't know if I can forgive you for showing up on my doorstep like this. If my parents had seen you they would have flipped the hell out."
"I was discreet."
"You better have been. Otherwise they're going to call the cops and start pounding on the door, wondering who that creeper was, sneaking into their daughter's apartment."
"So I'm back to being a creeper again?" he teased.
"If the shoe fits…"
Nathan chuckled, then went quiet. He stared into my eyes.
"I really do care about you," he said softly.
"I care about you, too."
Nathan tipped my face up to meet his. I leaned up on my tiptoes. He dripped his head. I closed my eyes. He placed a kiss on my lips. I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss.
Nathan pulled back, I opened my eyes, confused.
"What?" I asked.
"Is that chocolate ice cream I taste?" he asked.
"Vanilla with chocolate syrup," I corrected. "I was sort of having a mope-fest before you showed up."
A slow, lazy smile crossed his face. "You've got chocolate syrup?"
"Yes…" I said. "What's with that tone?"
"Nothing," he said easily. "I can just think of a dozen uses for chocolate syrup that have nothing to do with ice cream."
A tingling feeling shot through me, going straight to my core. "Are we talking about sexy things?"
"Do you even need to ask?" he drawled, a wicked glint in his eyes.
"Give me a second." I left the circle of his arms and went to get the bottle of syrup, excitement beginning to pound in my chest. Another experience I never thought I'd have. Food sex? That was up there with public sex on my list of naughty fantasies.
Hm. Public sex. I wondered… Was Nathan into that?
But that was a question for another time.
Right now, we were going to cover each other in chocolate and lick it off. That was sexy as hell.
Probably messy as hell, too. Oh well. Maybe that would just lead to shower sex.
I grinned to myself. Nathan had turned me into a sex-fiend, just like him, and I had no regrets.
"Follow me," I said, leading him to my bedroom. I thanked god I'd recently washed the sheets and made the bed. I wasn't a slob, but Nathan's apartment was much more put together than mine usually was. I was glad I wasn't going to embarrass myself in front of him.
By the time we'd reached my bed, Nathan had tossed off his shirt and was unbuckling his belt. A bulge was already rising in his tight jeans.
My mouth watered at the thought of what was hidden inside.
Another naughty thought came to me. I'd been thinking about something for a while. Maybe this was my chance.
"Take off your jeans," I told Nathan.
He quirked an eyebrow, surprised at my domineering tone, but did as I asked. He was left in his boxers and nothing else.
"Those, too," I said. "Then sit on the edge of the bed."
A low, simmering heat fired up behind his eyes as he got an inkling of my intentions. He lowered his boxers, letting his stiff length spring out. I bit my lip. I'd forgotten how big he was. Damn. This was going to be a challenge.
But I was up for it.
I knelt in front of Nathan once he'd taken his place on the bed. I placed myself between his spread knees, widening them so I could get as close as possible.
I stared down at him, taking in the length and the breadth. He was even bigger up close.
Nathan cupped my jaw in his hand and lifted my chin.
"You sure?" he asked, his voice already rough with desire. "You don't have to."
"I want to."
"Fuck, gorgeous," he breathed. "I've been wanting to see those pretty lips wrapped around my cock for ages."
I flushed, both at the familiar endearment, and at his words.
I took him in one hand and gave an experimental stroke up and down. He hissed quietly. I rubbed my thumb against the weeping tip and he made a muffled sound. I lowered my head and breathed warm air over him. He inhaled sharply.
Then I took the bottle of chocolate sauce and drizzled it over one side of his cock.
"Shit," he half-yelped, half-laughed. "That's cold."
Holding him gently, I ran my tongue up in a line from root to tip, licking the sauce from his skin. He shuddered, hands fisting in the blankets at his side. I drizzled the sauce down the other side. I sucked and licked, savoring the firmness of him, the heat of him, until there was no trace of chocolate left.
Then I opened my lips and took him in my mouth, sucking him down as far as I could go.
"Fuck!" he cursed.
I pulled back and swirled at the head with my lips and tongue, and was rewarded with another low hiss. I dipped back down, taking him in again. I felt his thigh muscles tense up with the effort it took to keep his hips from thrusting up.
But that was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to take him deeper. I wanted to consume him whole. I wanted him to forget everything and lose control. I wanted to give him as much pleasure as he'd given me.
I worked at him, pulling delicious sounds from his mouth, just as delicious as the cock I was devouring. I gripped him at the base and sucked at the tip, using the circle of my lips to drive him crazy.
Before too long, I felt his cock pulsing and throbbing, and I knew he was close.
Nathan rested a hand on the back of my head, urging me off him.
"Stop, stop," he groaned. "I don't want to come yet."
"Why not?" I asked, disappointed. I'd wanted to bring him to orgasm with my mouth, just as he had done with me.
"I want to fuck you and watch your pretty face when you come."
My inner muscles clenched down with a wet ache at his words.
"Shower sex?" I asked hopefully.
He gave me a crooked grin. "Hell yeah, shower sex."
I scrambled in my nightstand, thankful I'd thought to pick up some protection after that night when Nathan tied me up, and tossed it to him. I immediately undressed as he turned on the spray. The moment I was naked I jumped in along with him.
"Cold!" I yelped.
"It's warm," he laughed.
"It's lukewarm at best," I argued.
"Girls and their hot baths," he teased. "Why do you love scalding water so much?"
In response, I grabbed his shoulders and pressed my lips against his in a hot kiss. Our mouths moved together desperately as the water rained down on us. His fingers trailed down my belly to the valley between my legs. We moaned together as he pushed a finger into me.
"Fuck, you're so wet," he murmured.
"Fuck me," I demanded. I wrapped my legs around his waist, clamping down around his hips, letting him catch my weight as he pressed me back against the wall.
He didn't hesitate to grant my request. With one smooth move, he slid inside me, the both of us moaning again in unison. The throbbing ache inside me was slowly becoming satiated as Nathan moved into me, pushing in and out at a steady pace.
Soon, my legs began to ache and I squirmed until he put me down. I turned until my back was to his chest and my cheek was pressed to the wall.
"Like this," I breathed.
He wasted no time, grabbing my hips and thrusting into me from behind. His cock hit a different angle and I gasped loudly. I suddenly understood the appeal of being taken from behind. It was an entirely new sensation. With every thrust, he hit that pleasure center inside me, giving me just what I needed, what I'd been craving.
Nathan reached around and used his fingers to play with me, rubbing at the aching nub between my legs. I clenched down around him as I neared my peak. He let out a muffled curse as I fluttered around him. He sped up his movement, going faster and faster, slamming inside me as his fingers circled my clit, bringing me higher and higher until?—
I let out a cry as I came around him, shaking and trembling, barely able to keep on my feet, only his arms around my hips preventing me from falling to the shower floor.
Nathan let out a loud groan of his own, his cock pulsing inside me as he came. His hands squeezed my hips so tight I thought they might leave bruises, and I relished the thought of him marking me, of having some reminder of what we'd done together.
The last aftershocks hit our bodies, jerking and twitching against each other, breathing heavily. Nathan placed a sucking kiss to the back of my neck.
"We forgot to turn the fan on," he murmured. "The mirror's going to be fogged up."
"And who's fault is that, Mr. Eager?" I said through panted breaths.
"Me? I seem to recall a certain person dragging me into the bathroom."
I laughed, turning around to snuggle up to his wet chest, enjoying the firm muscles against my cheek.
"Let's just say we were both equally caught up in the heat of the moment," I replied.
We quickly washed up and stepped out of the shower. Nathan wrapped me in a fluffy bathrobe and placed a soft kiss on my lips.
"I'm glad this evening went well," he said. "I was really worried."
"About what?"
"That you'd still be upset with me. I just wanted to make sure you'd be okay."
"I told you, I understand."
"I promise I won't freak out again."
"Thank you."
But even as I accepted his words, I knew they were probably a lie. Eventually, something was going to happen. I was going to want to do something, or something would happen to me, and there was no telling whether or not he'd react the same as last time.
After all, the tiniest of things had set him off. What if something real actually went wrong? What if there was a serious risk to my health one day? Would he be able to handle it? Or would he freak out again?
I'd thought Nathan would be able to deal with the realities of my illness.
Maybe I had been wrong.