Chapter 12
TWELVE
MICAH
“There’s something magical about being surrounded by brand new instruments,” Kaylee said. She inhaled deeply, filling her lungs, breathing in the air permeating throughout the music store.
“You’re surrounded by instruments all the time,” I pointed out.
“Not like this,” she replied, grinning up at me and squeezing my hand in hers. “This is different.”
I wasn’t sure how it possibly could be. The band had spent thousands, hundreds of thousands, even, setting up our own practice studio with every piece of musical equipment in existence, even the ones we hadn’t yet learned to play.
“How is it different?” I asked.
“I don’t own these instruments,” she said, as if that explained everything.
“They’re meant for someone else.” A dreamy smile crossed her pink lips.
“Some other person is destined to walk in and lay claim to one. It’s like I’m in the middle of someone else’s story.
” Kaylee’s eyes cleared as she tilted her head up at me.
“That’s a pretty good line,” she said. “I should write that down.”
I laughed and tugged her close with an arm around her waist, leaning down to bury my face in her red curls.
“Only you could make not owning an instrument poetic,” I said. The scent of vanilla filled my nose. Now it was my turn to inhale deeply. The scent of Kaylee’s hair was much more enjoyable than the recycled air coming from the music store’s vents.
“Kay…” I started. “Do you want to talk about what happened now?”
“No.” She pulled away from my side, and I felt a keen sense of loss. “My mom was just being her usual self. Nothing I can’t handle.”
“This time seemed different,” I countered. I didn’t want Kay to think she had to just brush this aside. “You said she’s threatening you. If you need help, you can come to me. You know I’ll take care of it. You don’t need to give her what she wants.”
“I don’t need you to take care of me, remember?” The words could have hurt, but she didn’t say them harshly. Instead, she gave me a warm smile, reassuring. “I’ll be okay.”
I’d never liked Kay’s mom. I’d always thought Susan was a cruel, heartless woman.
I’d comforted Kay too many times after her mom had exploded at her, for one ridiculous reason or another.
Moving out the day she turned sixteen had been the best decision Kay had ever made, in my opinion.
After an entire life of abuse, she finally had a real family who cared for her.
But caring for her also meant respecting her. Trusting her.
“All right,” I said. “If you say you can handle her, I’ll drop it.”
Kaylee bounced back to me and snuggled up against my arm.
“Good!” she said brightly. “Now let’s stop talking about that cranky old woman and have some fun. I haven’t been in a music store in forever!”
I chuckled at her enthusiasm and let her lead me around the aisles.
Kaylee’s beautiful green eyes trailed lovingly across the store, taking in every guitar, every keyboard, every drum set. I couldn’t help but use her moment of distraction to trail my own eyes over her. Those cut off jean shorts showed off a lot of leg and commanded most of my attention.
I remembered what her soft thighs had felt like under my hands. I wondered what the rest of her skin would feel like when I finally stripped her of all her clothes. When I finally got my hands on her, now that I had permission to touch, and kiss and—
I snapped my eyes back up, not wanting to be caught staring with those thoughts filling my head.
To distract myself, I wandered over to the keys section and found a grand piano, priced way higher than any normal music store customer would have been able to afford. I began playing a few bars of Für Elise. Cliché, but there was a reason it was popular.
“Why don’t you try something a little more challenging?” Kay asked, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes. She nodded her head over to a drum kit set up at the back corner of the store.
I snorted.
“You know I‘m awful on drums,” I told her.
“As if that’s ever stopped you before,” she replied.
I eyed the drum kit suspiciously. I hadn’t sat behind one of them in more than a year. I was great on keys, and good with a guitar, but drumming had never been my thing.
“Have a go at it,” Kaylee said, tugging me over with my arm linked in hers.
I tried not to drag my feet as an odd reluctance creeped up inside me.
I had never minded playing around with the drums, even though I wasn’t any good at it. Sometimes it was actually more fun to just screw around with an instrument without needing to show off your skills.
But now, with Kaylee next to me, a feeling of unease squirmed in my chest, and I didn’t know why.
I ran a hand over the cymbals carefully, not wanting to make a loud crash in the quiet store. Kaylee held out a pair of drumsticks she’d snatched from a display and looked at me expectantly. I stared at them in her outstretched hand, discomfort rising by the second.
“Why don’t you give them a try instead?” I asked her.
“Aw, you’re just afraid you’re going to suck,” Kaylee teased playfully.
I paused at her words, my thoughts grinding to a halt. Kay noticed.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, concerned.
“Nothing,” I said automatically.
Kaylee gave me a look.
“You just froze,” she said. “It’s not nothing. “
“I just—” My vocal cords closed up.
I thought about what Kay had said weeks ago, backstage at that late night show. What she’d said to me that night at my apartment, when I’d tried to make her leave and she called me out.
Use your words, Micah.
I could barely understand what I was feeling, let alone try to find the words to express it.
Why was it so hard? What was I so afraid of?
But that was it, wasn’t it? That was the question.
What was I so afraid of?
Why was I always so afraid, all the time?
Afraid of Kaylee and I getting together.
Afraid we wouldn’t record our second album in time.
Afraid that my mother’s illness would…
“You’re right,” I spoke up, throwing my shoulders back and standing tall, not letting myself shrink down. “I am afraid I’m going to suck,” I said steadily. “I want to play them the way they’re meant to be played, and I know I can’t.”
Kaylee scrunched up her nose in confusion.
“But everyone knows you suck at drums,” she said. “That’s nothing new.”
“But you and I are new,” I said. “This relationship between us is new. It changes things. It’s okay to look like an idiot in front of your best friend. But in front of a new girlfriend…”
Kaylee stared at me, befuddled, until a small, fond smile crossed her lips.
“You want to impress me?” she asked, that smile twitching at the corners as it tried to widen into a grin.
“I know it’s stupid,” I said with a sigh. “But you wanted to know what was wrong and I didn’t want to shut you out. I promised I wouldn’t do that anymore.”
“Is it patronizing to say I’m proud of you?” she asked.
“Probably,” I grumbled. “But thanks, I guess.”
Kaylee stood on her toes and tipped her head back. I leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on her lips.
“Thank you for opening up to me,” she said.
“I never used to have trouble with that before,” I said, unhappy with myself.
“It’s like you said,” she chirped. “This relationship is new. We’re going to have to figure out a new way of doing things. But that’s okay.” Her eyes sparkled with delight. “That’s what makes everything so exciting.”
She looped both arms around mine and squeezed. It was such a familiar gesture. She’d done it hundreds of times before. Kay had always been a touchy-feely person, especially with me.
But this time was different. This time, my rapidly receding embarrassment was replaced by warmth.
Her fingers pressed into my bicep and her hip bumped against mine.
I wanted more. I didn’t just want her arms around mine.
I wanted my arms around her. I wanted to press every inch of myself against her, to feel the heat of her body.
I wanted to peel off every piece of clothing until she was bared to me, naked for my eyes alone.
“Let’s check out those woodwinds,” I told her, guiding her to the very back of the store with half a dozen racks and shelves, enough to hide us away from prying eyes.
“You looking to get a new oboe?” she teased. “Anya will kill you for that.”
“Nah,” I said, backing her up against a wall and putting my hands on her hips, enjoying the look of her eyes going wide. “I just wanted to get you alone.”
I put my hands on her hips, trailing upward from the pockets of her jeans and up under the hem of her shirt to grasp the flesh of her waist. The warmth of her skin against my fingertips was delicious. She bit down on her lip and arched into me.
“I didn’t know you had an exhibitionist streak,” she said on an exhale.
I brought my mouth to the soft skin of her throat and placed a soft kiss.
“Just one of those new exciting things you’ll learn about me,” I murmured into her ear.
She let out a little whimper and angled her hips toward mine.
I used one foot to nudge her legs apart and slid my knee between her thighs.
She was so short she had to go on her tiptoes as she lifted off the ground.
She let out a choked gasp and looked up at me, green eyes bright and cheeks flushed pink.
Her hot core pressed against my thigh. I tightened my hands on her waist, fingers digging into flesh as she flexed her hips, grinding down against me, and stifled a groan.
Fuck, but I wanted to do so many dirty things to this woman.
“No PDA in my music store,” came a wry voice from behind us.
I groaned, falling forward to rest my forehead against Kay’s. She squeaked, squirming out from under me. The second time in a row we’d been caught making out in front of other people. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, I recognized the voice.
“Everly,” I acknowledged, turning around.
A slim woman with long hot pink hair dressed all in black was raising an eyebrow at us.
Everly was also in the music industry. She’d been a part of a popular indie band, Where Angels Burn, before it had broken up, and now managed a music store.
The group members had recently reconciled, although I didn’t know the details, and I’d been invited to some shows they now played every so often.
“It took you two crazy kids long enough,” she said, a smile beginning to cross her face, “but can you maybe keep it in your pants until you’re someplace private?”
“Shit, everyone really did know, didn’t they?” I said ruefully.
“Sorry,” Kaylee said, her face red. “We got carried away.”
“Hey, I get it,” Everly said, spreading her arms amicably. “Just not in my store, hm?”
Kay gave her a sheepish smile.
“We’ll be good,” Kaylee promised.
I suppressed a smirk.
Kay didn’t know it yet, but I’d been waiting far too long for this.
Now that I finally had her, I had no intention of being good.