Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
KAYLEE
My face was still flaming as Micah and I continued wandering through the music store.
We’d gotten caught by our bandmates, and then we’d gotten caught by Everly, a woman in the music industry I looked up to.
How embarrassing. Well, she was dating a musician herself, at least, so she must have known what it was like, wanting to keep your love life private while being in the spotlight.
Before we’d started dating, Micah had been worried about what people would think, but now that we were together he seemed to gotten over those hang-ups. I was eagerly awaiting the opportunity to get him alone.
The reality of kissing him had been so much better than anything my imagination had been able to come up with. I was nearly giddy at the thought of going further.
And from the way his hands kept finding their way to the small of my back, or caressing the curve of my hip, or burying themselves in my hair, it seemed like Micah was of the same mind.
I took a breath to steady myself. Although the urge to drag Micah home was growing stronger with every minute, I had to cool it.
I distracted myself by examining all the various instruments that were on display, seeking inspiration for our latest song.
I’d been stuck on it, not quite able to pinpoint where it was going wrong.
Something just didn’t feel right, and it drove me crazy.
I wasn’t a perfectionist, per se. I just knew what I heard in my head, and I needed to see it translated into music exactly the way I wanted it.
I supposed you could call that perfectionism, in a way, but to me, it wasn’t about being perfect.
Nothing was ever perfect, after all. There was always room for improvement.
I’d look back on old songs I’d written years ago and think of a dozen things I would do differently, even if they all felt right at the time.
I supposed that was exactly it. It wasn’t about perfection. It was about feeling right. It was about feeling complete. Like everything was as it should be.
I looked up at Micah. That was how it felt being next to him. Like everything was exactly as it should be, now that we were together. I leaned my head against his shoulder. He put his arm around my waist and tugged me closer. My stomach warmed and fluttered.
“Oh!” My eyes lit up as they fell upon a theremin. “I’ve always wanted to use one of these!” I ran my fingers along the metal pitch antenna and turned to Micah, beaming. “What do you think?”
“Usually I’d tell you we already have that instrument at home, but I think it’s one of the few we don’t,” he mused.
“Good enough for me,” I said, picking it up off the shelf. “I can just imagine how the sound of our latest song is going to change by adding this.” Excitement began to buzz across my skin at the thought.
“Kay, you don’t have time to learn a new instrument and incorporate it into our song for the next album,” Micah said, expression amused. “Even you’re not that good.”
“Watch me,” I grinned, hefting the body of the theremin up into my arms.
“I’m serious,” Micah said, his amused expression dropping. “We don’t have time for last minute changes like that.”
“All I need is a few weeks,” I said breezily, taking the instrument to the front cash to pay for it.
My mind was already lighting up with ideas.
I could hear the new arrangement in my head, could practically feel the vibration of the theremin in my bones.
This was exactly what the song had been missing.
It needed a new sound, something fresh, original.
It had been weighing on me, an agonizing pang in my chest. And this was it.
The pang was easing, something like bliss beginning to edge along my senses, not unlike the feeling of Micah’s kisses.
“He’s right, you know,” Everly said behind the counter as she rang me up. “You can learn how to use it in a few days, but it can take a year to get beyond the basics.”
“Fine, give me three months,” I conceded.
“We don’t have three months,“ Micah said from behind me. His voice was tight. “We’re going into the studio with our song selections in only a few weeks, remember?”
“We can record this one last,” I said easily.
“That’s not—” Micah cut himself off and went silent. I turned around to find his face pinched and drawn.
The bliss began to bleed out of me, that pang in my chest returning. There were now two aches competing to take center stage. I hated seeing that look on Micah’s face, that look of anxious worry causing me distress of my own.
But the fire of inspiration had taken hold and something inside me would just not let go, knowing that if I didn’t complete this song in the way I now envisioned it, I would be left feeling cold, and listless, and bereft.
Music had always been how I processed my feelings. It had always been my emotional outlet. It was how I’d managed to stay sane growing up.
My music came from my heart, from my soul. It always had. But I loved Micah. He was a part of me now.
How could I possibly choose between the two sides of my heart and soul?
I must have stood there too long, agonizing, because Everly cut in.
“Instead of learning it yourself, why don’t you bring someone in who already knows how to play and have them record with you?
” She kept her voice even, even as she flicked her eyes between the two of us warily.
“You’ll have to come up with a new arrangement, but it’ll be faster than playing it yourself. I know someone I can hook you up with.”
“Yes,” I said quickly. “I like that idea. Micah, why don’t we do that?” I looked to him, desperately hoping to see that anxiety leave his face.
Micah waited a beat before the lines on his forehead relaxed.
“All right,” he said. “We’ll bring someone in and we’ll record it last.”
I hadn’t realized how tense I’d been, how I’d hunched my shoulders up around my ears, until he agreed. I didn’t want to fight with Micah. I especially didn’t want to fight with Micah over music, the beautiful thing that had brought us together.
“This is going to be so awesome,” I said with a purposefully bright tone to defuse the strained atmosphere. “This is going to be exactly what we need, just you watch.”
Micah gave me a brief smile. “I don’t doubt you at all.”
A little thrill took the place of my previous distress.
A melodic line was weaving its way through my mind, like throwing a stone into a placid lake, starting off with small, light ripples, just a few notes here and there, but it got stronger, faster, until soon my inner ear resounded with the crashing of musical waves, my whole body becoming submerged by rapturous waters.
“Kay?”
“Hm?” I forcibly turned my attention to Micah. “Were you saying something?”
He narrowed his eyes at me in amusement. “Do you want to skip the rest of our shopping and go back to my place?”
My heart jumped. His place?
“I know you probably want to get working on the song as soon as possible,” he said.
My rapidly beating heart melted. Micah knew me too well.
I was about to say yes, when I realized that we’d be at his place, alone.
Was Micah only thinking about our work, or did he have an ulterior motive for wanting to go to his place? Had he been waiting for an excuse? He certainly didn’t need one. I was eager to be alone with him. And from all the heated touches he’d been giving me he must have felt the same.
But…
Micah was right. I really did want to work on the song. Dammit. What was the point of being alone together with my boyfriend if all we were going to do was work? I supposed that was the downside of getting together with a coworker.
Still, I had to perk up. There was no reason why we couldn’t do both, after all.
I tilted my head up to find him looking at me. There was an inner fire in his eyes. So, I wasn’t the only one thinking about it. Micah wanted me as much as I wanted him. I took his hand in mine and laced our fingers together.
“I’d love to go back to your place,” I told him.
It was just like Micah had written in his clichéd but charming lyrics. I smiled to myself. We could make sweet music together, in more ways than one.