Chapter 19 Kaylee
NINETEEN
KAYLEE
Micah, Finn and Chris were tense and on edge the entire interview, but it went well, thank god, with no mention of our love lives. It went on longer than I would have liked, considering I had some burning questions I wanted to ask Micah afterwards, but I sat through it patiently.
When they finally let us go I followed Micah out of the recording room, carefully making sure I didn’t get too close. I hated having to put distance between us when there had never been any before, but our circumstances were different now. We had to be cautious.
“Are you coming back to the mansion with us?” I asked him.
“Actually, I was thinking of driving over to my mom’s to pay her a surprise visit.
” Micah lifted his eyes to mine, an oddly hopeful yet awkward look on his face.
“Would you like to come with me? I know she’d love to see you.
But if it’s too soon, I get it,” he hurried to add.
“I know it might be weird since we’re together now.
It’s totally cool if you’re not ready. No pressure. ”
“Micah.” I said his name to stop the rambling, something he only did when his overthinking was starting to spiral out of control. “You know I love going to see Nancy. Of course I’ll come.”
The smile he gave me was so beautiful I would have said yes to anything if only I could see that smile every day.
Luckily, going to see Micah’s mom was a treat. It had been a while since I’d last seen her. Now that everything was resolved and Micah and I were happily together, I couldn’t wait to see Nancy.
It wasn’t until we were right outside her front door that I began to worry.
“Your mom…” I started hesitantly. “Is she okay with the two of us?”
Micah gave me a sly smile as he took out his keys and unlocked the door.
“See for yourself. Hey Mom!” he called out. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“Micah?” his mom called out from inside the house. “I wasn’t expecting you! What’s the surprise?”
Nancy came out from the kitchen into the front hall and saw me. She brought her hands to her chest and gasped.
“Oh, my darling girl,” she gushed. “Come here, come here, give me a hug.”
I beamed and bounced over to Micah’s mom, letting her envelop me in her arms. She was thinner than the last time I’d seen her and her face had lost some color, but her grip was strong as she held me to her chest.
“It’s so good to see you, Mrs. Tennant,” I told her when she finally let me go. “How have you been?”
“I’ve been well, darling,” she said. “And you know you’re supposed to call me Nancy. I’ve been trying to knock some sense into this one,” she continued, swatting her hand at Micah. “But the fact that you’re here means he finally got his head on straight.”
“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” I laughed.
Micah’s mom ushered us into the kitchen to feed us chocolate chip cookies, just like when we were kids.
They were from a box, though, not homemade like she used to make, and I had to wonder if Nancy was as well as she said she was.
Then again, she hadn’t been expecting company.
Micah didn’t look overly concerned, so I took that as a good sign.
“So how are things with you, Kaylee?” Micah’s mom asked. “And let’s not talk shop,” she admonished with a wag of her finger before I could even bring up the interview, or the second album, or the new song I was composing with Micah. “What’s going on with you besides that band of yours?”
“Besides the band?” I blinked, taken aback. Nothing was ever really going on besides band stuff. There was just always so much band stuff, always something to do, always something to work on. Come to think of it, what was the last thing I’d done that wasn’t related to the band?
“Micah and I are together now, so that’s new,” I said.
“Yes, yes, but I already know about that.” Nancy waved a hand dismissively. “Tell me about you. What are you up to these days? What are you doing for fun?”
For fun? Something that wasn’t related to the band? I began to sweat. Was it a bad sign that I couldn’t think of anything?
“Oh!” I suddenly remembered. “I’m making a dress.”
“Sewing your own clothes?” Nancy asked, looking impressed.
“Just taking an old button down and repurposing it,” I said.
“Kay’s worn a couple of her own original designs on stage before,” Micah said proudly.
“I wouldn’t call them original designs,” I laughed self-consciously.
“I just cut up old stuff and patch it together in new ways. I guess it’s a different way of being creative.
” It kept my mind and fingers busy in a way that was different from when I was playing drums. “Why don’t you ask Micah what he’s been doing for fun?
” I said, trying to take the attention off myself.
“I already know my son’s a workaholic.” Nancy rolled her eyes fondly. “I’m hoping the two of you getting together might help you see beyond that little bubble you’ve wrapped yourself up in.”
The band, a bubble? No way. The band was my life. I didn’t need anything else. But I supposed that perspective might be hard to understand from the outside. Not everyone found their calling in life, their passion, the way I had. I knew I was one of the lucky ones.
“The next time you visit, you wear that dress,” Micah’s mom said.
“I will, I promise,” I smiled at her.
Her eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled back. Then her eyes squinted, as if the lights in the kitchen were too bright. Her forehead wrinkled with pained lines and she started to waver on her feet.
Micah was at her side immediately.
“Mom, are you okay?” he asked urgently. “Why don’t you sit down?”
She gripped her son’s arm and took a few trembling steps.
“I’m just feeling a bit tired all of a sudden, that’s all.” Her voice was thin and thready. “I think I’d like to lie down in bed.”
“Sure, of course,” Micah said, supporting his mother’s weight as they made their way to her bedroom.
I followed a few paces behind, fretting but not wanting to get in the way.
Visiting Micah’s mom was always bittersweet.
She was such a cheerful, upbeat person, always worrying so much about us, as if we were her own children.
But she had been sick for a while, some sort of autoimmune disease that flared up at random.
Some weeks she would be fine, and others she would be bedridden.
I knew it was hard for Micah, especially because we were often on tour. It had gotten especially hard ever since his dad had passed away. He hated leaving his mom alone.
I hovered outside the bedroom door until Micah’s mom was settled in and made comfortable. Then Micah left the bedroom and closed the door behind him. He let out a soft sigh.
“She’s already half asleep,” he said. “These episodes take it out of her.”
His hand was trembling as he brought it to his hair, pushing back dark, messy strands to reveal his forehead, lined with worry.
I took his other hand in both of mine and looked up at him.
“Has she been getting worse?” I asked softly.
Micah lifted one shoulder listlessly.
“She’s actually been doing pretty good lately,” he said.
“But I suppose we shouldn’t have gotten our hopes up.
” He let out a frustrated growl, pulling his hand from my grip and turning to pace the living room.
“I hate this,” he said, keeping his voice down.
“I hate that it comes on with no warning. I hate that I’m always just waiting for something to happen, dreading those moments when her own body turns against her. ”
I came up behind him, pressing myself against his solid back, and wrapped my arms around his waist, stopping him mid-step.
“I’m so sorry,” I told him quietly. “I wish there was something I could do.”
He let out a deep breath and brought his hands up to cover mine where they laid clasped against his stomach.
“Just having you here with me helps,” he replied. “Thank you.”
Micah was always the one who comforted me.
When my mom yelled, I could go to him and he’d speak softly to me.
When she would throw and break things, I could go to him and he’d fix up any tiny cuts or scrapes.
When she told me I was worthless, he made me feel like the most powerful person in the world.
And I’d always tried to do the same for him. He’d leaned on me when his father passed away. He came to me whenever he had doubts about his future. He looked to me when his thoughts were too scrambled and he needed to make sense of them.
“I’m always going to be here with you,” I promised him. “I’m going to be beside you forever, no matter what.”
Micah took in a shuddering breath before he spun me around and yanked me into his arms. He buried his head in my curls and inhaled deeply. He seemed to love smelling my hair. I pressed my palms into his back and rubbed with soothing motions.
I’d wanted to talk to Micah about the two of us, about whether he still had doubts about our relationship, but this wasn’t the time. For now, all I could do was support Micah the way he had always supported me.
Everything else could wait until later.