Chapter 18
Wrapping her arms around Lane’s neck, Celine closed her eyes and got lost in the feel of the man she loved. She was still hesitant to trust him—trust a future where they were more than successful co-parents.
But for tonight, she didn’t care.
After years of wondering and second guessing every word she’d uttered to Lane, she finally had answers.
She might not completely understand his reasons, but she knew Lane.
Knew his heart and now his intentions. And no matter how she looked at things, each decision he made led to Parker being conceived.
Her tongue slipped into his mouth and a deep desire to erase the space between them moved her to her feet. She pressed her body against his, loving the feel of him against his. Strong and safe. Familiar yet also new and exciting.
Lane broke away, his heavy breaths skimming her cheeks. Red creeped up his neck and desire shone from his bright blue eyes. “What are we doing? I thought…”
She pressed her finger to his lips. “Don’t think. Don’t talk. Just keep kissing me.”
He settled his hands on her hips and grinned down at her. “I don’t think that’s going to help you sleep, and your milk’s getting cold.”
She returned his grin with one of her own. “I’m not interested in sleep right now.”
“What are you interested in? Because as much as I want to pick up your sweet, sweet ass and carry you to my room to finish this, I don’t want to mess anything up. I meant every word I said. I’m serious about showing you I’m here for the long haul. In whatever terms you need.”
Her head told her to slow down and listen to reason. To hear his logic and stop this insanity before she got her heart broken yet again. The last thing she needed was to complicate things with a man she not only had so much history with but who was the father of her child.
But her heart…oh her heart was singing a whole other tune.
And after all the fear and uncertainty of the past few days, she didn’t want to pay any attention to logic and reason. She wanted to feel love and cherished and dammit, she just wanted to feel good.
And no one could make her feel as good as Lane.
“Right now,” she said, grazing her knuckles along the rough whiskers of his jawline. “All I need is you. If you’re up for the challenge.”
“Oh, I’m up for it.” In a flash, his hands moved from her hips to the backs of her thigh and he hoisted her in the air.
She wrapped her legs around his waist as her arms circled his neck. She crushed her mouth on his, savoring the softness of his lips and the taste she’d memorized from high school. She pulled back and pressed kisses along his jawline. “Take me upstairs.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.”
She swiped the baby monitor off the island, grateful Parker was still asleep and held on tight as she prepared for one hell of a ride.
Hours later, Lane struggled to catch his breath as he held Celine close to his side, her head nestled on his shoulder. He brushed the pads of his fingers along the soft skin of her arm, not wanting to sever the connection they’d made.
Hell, if it were up to him, he’d still be inside her. Maybe he could make that happen in another twenty minutes.
But for now, holding her against him was the best feeling in the world.
Shifting to prop her head on her fist, she stared down at him and her long blond hair spilled around her shoulders. “If you would have told me a couple days ago that I’d be back in this room with you doing what we just did, I would laughed and said never in a million years.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, hating that his actions had hurt her so badly. “I’m sorry I ever made you doubt what we had—made you doubt me.”
“No more apologies, okay? We’ve talked enough tonight. It’s time to put it all behind us.”
“Okay.” There was so much more he wanted to say, but he held it back. Scaring her with the depths of his feelings was the last thing he wanted to do. He’d meant it when he told her that she was in charge of their timeline.
Besides, even if she’d forgiven him, it didn’t mean his word held much merit. He’d spouted them out before, even meaning them for a brief moment in time when he’d imagined a perfect world with Celine by his side.
This time, he’d show her he meant what he’d said. He’d set an intention every single day to shower her with the love and happiness she deserved.
Love.
Christ, he loved this woman. Always had. And somehow over the past few days, that love had intensified to a level he never thought possible. But he couldn’t tell her—not yet.
She traced her index finger along his chest until it snagged the gold chain. “I was thinking about what you said earlier.”
“I thought you said no more talking.” Frowning, he trapped her hand with his and held it over his heart.
“Not about that. About wishing there were animals still around for Parker to enjoy. I know you’ll have a lot on your plate with starting your business, but I think you should fill those barns again.”
He chuckled and roamed his free hand along the subtle dips along her spine. He loved their son and thinking about the future, but right now every inch of his body was focused on Celine and the things he still wanted to do to her before the sun rose. “You do, huh?”
She nodded. “This is your home again. I don’t want it to weigh you down with ugly memories. You should fill it with new, wonderful ones. What could be more wonderful than watching Parker fall in love with animals the way you did?”
“Can I buy him some sheep?”
Groaning, she tilted back her head in a dramatic fashion before letting it fall to his chest. “I should have known you’d want him to try mutton busting.”
He chuckled and smoothed the hair from her face as she snuggled in beside him.
“Think of how cute he’d be riding a sheep.
We could set up everything he needs to learn in the barn.
Maybe get him a pony, and every kid needs a dog.
A good herding dog to keep him in line as he roams the property with the pack of critters we get him. ”
“Yes to the dog, maybe to the pony, and we’ll discuss him riding a sheep like a miniature bull champion when he’s three. Kid can’t even crawl yet so there’s no reason to figure out all the details now.”
“We’ve got plenty of time.” He pressed a kiss to the side of her head and his heart stretched to fit all the joy for what laid ahead.
“And maybe you could move out of your childhood room,” she said, her voice soft and low.
He sighed and hooked an arm behind his head. “Suzy said the same thing. I just can’t see myself moving into my dad’s room.”
“That’s not the only free space in the house, and several are bigger than this one.”
It was true. The three-story manor held more bedrooms than he knew what to do with, and his father had kept him and Suzy in the smallest ones. No doubt some kind of psychological bullshit to remind him of his place in the world.
“You know what, you’re right. Staying in the place my dad put me as a kid continues to give him power he doesn’t deserve.
It’s time I took control of every area of my life.
This house included.” He waited a beat, his pulse pounding wildly in his veins before asking the question burning the tip of his tongue.
“Can I turn one of the rooms into a nursery for Parker?”
Celine rolled to her side, raising just enough to stare down at him again. “Seriously?”
He nodded and held his breath. “Only if you’re okay with it. I meant it when I said I wouldn’t push. Not with you, not with Parker. But I want him to know he has a space that’s his own. That he belongs here.”
Tears hovered over her dark lashes. “I think that’d be wonderful.”
He swiped his thumb under her eyes to keep the tears from falling. “You have a space here too. When and if you want it. On your terms.”
She pressed her lips to his, moving her mouth slowly as her palm cradled his jaw.
He wrapped her tight in his arms, rolling to pin her under him. Desire sparked to life inside him, but this time it was different. Born not just from passion but from tenderness and love and devotion. He’d prove himself worthy of her if it was the last thing he did.
Slipping his hand down the gentle dip above her hip, he nipped her bottom lip before trailing kisses down the long column of her neck.
She arched her back, offering herself to him as a moan purred from her mouth.
“Enough talking,” he said. “We only have a couple hours before the day starts. I still have a few more tricks up my sleeve.”
“Well, then, you better get started.”
A loud wail sounded from the baby monitor.
Celine groaned. “Are you freaking kidding me?” She made a move to shimmy from the bed.
“You stay. I’ll get him.” He pressed one more kiss to her forehead then rolled off the mattress. He found his joggers on the floor and slid them on. “Wait, do you need to feed him? I mean…are you okay if you don’t?”
She grinned up at him. “I’ll be fine. He might need a fresh diaper, and a few snuggles to get back to sleep. But if he’s hungry, he has bottles in the fridge I left for Suzy and Duke earlier.”
“Got it. I’d like to say I have this under control, but only time will tell.”
Chuckling, she swung her legs over the side of the mattress.
“What are you doing? I said I got this. I want you to have a break.”
She rested her hands on his shoulder. “I trust you can deal with this, but since it’s your first two o’clock daddy duty call and Parker’s in a new environment it might be best if we tag team this. You grab him and change his diaper, since you’re a proven pro at that.”
He laughed and rolled his eyes.
“And I,” she continued. “Will warm the bottle so you can still be the one to feed him.”
“Are you sure? I really wanted to step up here and let you lounge in bed.”
“That’s very sweet, but we have plenty of night feedings ahead of us. You can handle every single one if you want while I sleep under those soft, warm covers.”
He molded her against him, his ears tuned to the now quiet monitor. Maybe Parker had drifted back to sleep. “Good because I like that visual a hell of a lot. You all warm and naked under my sheets. In my bed. Waiting for me.”
“You can picture whatever you want, but the reality will be me sleeping with messy hair and maybe even a little drool on my chin.” Smirking, she touched the side of her mouth as if to show him where the drool could be. “Can you handle that?”
“Honey, I can handle anything you throw my way.” He kissed the spot on her chin.
“Anything?” The word came out on a moan.
“Any damn thing.”
Another wail sounded through the speaker, and he let his head fall to the crook of her neck.
“All right. Dad mode activated.”
He waited for her to slip on one of his t-shirts before linking their fingers and leading her into the hallway. He pulled her in close for one more kiss.
“Best midnight feeding I’ve had yet,” she teased. “Remember to duck if he starts peeing mid-change.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
He patted her ass when she turned and hurried down the stairs then peeled off into the room across the hall. Parker’s cries turned louder and more insistent, creating a deep cavernous ache in his soul.
Keeping the door open, he let the light from the hall splash inside and shine into the portable crib. “Hey there, little man. What’s all the fuss about?”
Parker thrashed his balled-up fists and kicked his legs. His pinched face was red, and tears streamed over his cheeks.
“I’m here now. I’ve got you.” Lane scooped Parker into his arms and held him close, wanting to show his son he was there. That he’d always be there. “Should we see if you’re wet?”
Parker whimpered, which was more pathetic than his earlier screams.
Lane found the diapers and wipes and made quick work of changing the wet diaper.
When his son was rewrapped and dressed, Lane secured him against his chest and settled into the rocking chair he’d dragged into the room earlier that day.
“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it? Your mom should be here soon and we’ll top off that little tummy of yours and put you back to sleep. ”
Parker stared up at him with wide eyes. His dark curls were matted to his chubby face.
A flood of joy washed over him, and every doubt he’d ever had about being the person this child needed vanished. This was why he was put on this earth. To be Parker’s father. To support him and love him and make this world a better place to grow up.
He was here to love Celine and the precious and unexpected gift she’d given him.
The blast of the doorbell sent spikes of trepidation through his veins. Frantic pounding echoed through the hall seconds before the alarm screeched to life.
Lane shot to his feet as Parker’s cries returned. He had to get to Celine, but he didn’t want to leave the baby alone. Indecision tore him in two, leaving him desperate and rooted to the thick carpet.
Duke ran past the room, stopping when he noticed Lane inside with Parker. “Where’s Celine?”
“Downstairs.”
Duke plucked Parker from his arms. “Go get her. Now.”
Lane sprinted toward the stairs, his chest tightening with each step. He had to get to Celine before the worst happened. He finally had everything he ever wanted. No way he’d let anyone take it away.