Chapter Eighteen
IWASN’T KIDDING ABOUT how fucking agonising this was, how this drawn out edging was going to make me let her down.
It was the last thing I wanted, but every little soft whimper and moan from Caroline edged me a little closer.
Going down on her would be pure torture, but it’d get her out of her head and she needed that.
“Let’s see if you taste as sweet as I think…” She gasped and reached for me, like she wanted to stop me.
“I won’t try to kiss you after, it’s okay.
Just relax and feel.” She visibly relaxed, and I knew I’d guessed correctly.
She could have told me that was her concern, but there was no reason I couldn’t make things easier for her, especially right now, when she was trying so hard to take what she needed.
I pressed her legs apart, and just the sight and scent of what was right in front of me, in all its deliciously pink, wet glory, was like another kick in the junk.
“Fuck,” I murmured, leaning close, and dragging my tongue right through all that moisture, her sweet taste zinging my tastebuds, just like I knew it would.
“Oh wow!” Caroline flinched, and her fingers grabbed my hair, holding me still.
“No? You don’t like it?”
“That’s how that feels? Oh god!”
I grinned at her, trying to go back in for another taste, but she was gasping at me, what the hell was she saying?
“Do it. Please do it. I want to… please…”
“Want to…?”
“Please, do… sex… please.”
What the hell. “Caroline-”
“Please!”
“It’ll be easier if I get you-”
“Please, now.” She tugged on my hair, dragging me closer, and I went with it, because I’m a man, and edging fucking sucks.
“You’re sure?”
“Please!” She was wet, sure, but was it enough?
“Stop me if it hurts or something. I don’t know… I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Please, Harley. I… I want you inside me. Only you. Only ever you.”
I grabbed my cock and dragged it through that wetness that coated the condom, and could have been against my bare skin if I hadn’t decided to be smart here. Or an overly cautious dickhead.
“Oh god… is… is it in?” I couldn’t help chuckling, as she lifted her head to try and see between us.
“No. Not yet, babe.”
“Oh god.”
Caroline
WE WERE REALLY GOING to have sex! After the longest amount of chit chat, and baby steps, we were going to do it!
Harley suddenly started pressing his cock inside me, a little at a time, and oh… oh no… it was stinging.
“Ow…”
“I can stop?”
“No. Please… I’m just… Oh god, please do it.”
He started moving again, pressing the head of his cock inside me. I could feel it was just the head, but it felt huge. It wouldn’t fit.
Harley groaned, pushing deeper inside me, and I felt it, the moment he broke through and my virginity was no more, letting out a yelp of discomfort. He froze, his eyes completely focused on my face.
“You okay?”
“Oh god. Is it in? Is it… is it done?” I burst into tears, and tried to cover my face, but Harley stopped me, catching my cheeks in his gentle hands.
“Hey… look at me, Caroline. Shh, it’s okay. I’m going to move and get away from you. Please don’t cry.”
He looked like he wanted to cry too, and I clung to him as he tried to move away.
“Don’t… don’t go. I’m sorry. I’m just…”
“Overwhelmed? I can understand that, babe. You’re amazing. You don’t have to continue, I promise. I can back off.”
My nails dug into his skin as I held on tight.
“Please. No. Oh god, I’m sorry. I’m freaking, and I don’t… I don’t know why.”
Harley leaned down, pressing his lips to one cheek, and then the other, nuzzling my nose with his.
“It’s okay, babe. I’m so proud of you. You achieved it, it’s okay. I can back off.”
“But-”
“I doubt you’re ready for that…”
My breath caught, as I saw the cheeky grin on his face, and then I was giggling. How did he do that? How did he take this insane woman, who just cried as she lost her virginity, and make her laugh at something so silly?
“That’s better, babe. Honestly, you’re amazing. I’m in awe of you. And I’m not just saying that because I’m inside you right now, but I have to admit you feel really fucking good.”
“It… it doesn’t hurt now. Can you… can you… do the thing?”
“The thing?” Harley grinned, winking at me, as he moved his hips, slowly easing out of me and then gliding smoothly inside me again. Oh. Oh it felt good. It was… it was nice. Better than nice.
“Oh god. More!”
He chuckled, kissing my cheek again, and burying his face in my neck, kissing and nipping my skin as he started to move again, his hips thrusting smoothly as he made love to me. Made love to me!
I started moving with him, wanting more, wanting it deeper, wanting all of Harley, and his breath left him in a ragged gasp.
“I’m barely hanging on here, Caroline. Fuck. We need to get you off. I’m gonna help you, okay?”
I nodded, feeling tingles of pleasure already beginning to form, and when his fingers teased over my clit, it sent a shot of pure bliss through me.
He teased some more as he thrust deeper, and those tingles bloomed into blazing trails of pleasure, and I gasped his name over and over, as my nails gripped his upper arms, and Harley suddenly pressed deep and groaned long and low, his hips jerking a few times.
I realised I had been looking at all of this in a very clinical way.
An analytical way, because that was how I processed everything in life.
How I found comfort in details, but there were moments, especially when he made me orgasm, where my brain seemed to short-circuit, and I was free.
For long moments, there was pure freedom. Bliss.
Harley was breathing hard, with his face in my neck, and when I suddenly started to cry again, he moved rapidly, pulling back, easing out of me, and sitting up beside me.
“Babe? Jesus, babe? Did I hurt you?”
I shook my head, covering my face as heavy sobs started to choke out of me, and I rolled onto my side, curling in a ball.
“Fuck, Caroline. Please. Talk to me.”
I felt him move, and then he was crouching on the other side of me, beside the bed, his fingers stroking through my hair.
“You’re scaring me,” he whispered against my forehead as he pressed his lips there, “can I hold you? It might help both of us right now.”
I nodded as I sat up, and Harley slipped onto the bed beside me again, drawing me against his chest, his fingers stroking my hair as I cried.
The frustrating part was not understanding exactly what was going on, or why I was breaking apart, especially when I’d just experienced something so perfect.
Something I never thought I’d ever do, or feel.
Something that was only possible because of him.
“Caroline, babe? Can you answer yes or no questions at least?”
I nodded, still sniffling, and Harley sighed, stroking my hair back again.
“Did I do something bad?”
I shook my head, and he relaxed a little.
“Are you in pain?”
I shook my head again, and he stayed silent for a moment.
“Do you know why you’re crying?”
I lifted my head at last, swiping tears away as I stared at him, embarrassment flooding through me, and heating my cheeks. What kind of loser cries after sex, right?
“No. Do you?”
He smiled, reaching out to gently brush new tears away.
“If you feel okay now, maybe you were just letting go of stuff you were bottling up. Orgasms do more than just feel good. I think they unburden the mind too, at least for a while. There’s a reason sex is so addictive.”