Chapter 9 #2
His dick jumped as I massaged his prostate and a perfect string of precum stretched from his swollen head to his abdomen.
His breath caught and ass tightened around my fingers so hard it made me dizzy.
Though I knew we both had several rounds in us, I didn’t want him coming like this.
I needed to heal our bond, and there was only one way that would happen.
Any other time his sound of disgruntlement when I withdrew my fingers would have been comical, but I was right there with him.
He watched me with lust-hazed eyes as I rocked back to slick my cock and lined it up with his eager hole.
I lifted his right leg and placed a kiss on the sensitive skin behind his knee before placing it on my shoulder and sliding home in one decisive thrust.
We moaned into each other and I could almost feel our fractured bond mending itself.
I alternated between kissing his lips and breathing him in as I gently rocked into him.
It didn’t take long for his ass to become a vice.
I sharpened my thrusts as his body curled inward, simultaneously trying to pull me deeper and push me out.
“Yes,” he gasped, digging his fingers into my biceps as I continued to slam into him.
I sealed our mouths together for a brief kiss, then repositioned his other leg on my shoulders as well, bending him nearly double. I slid a fraction deeper and fought my release as another anal orgasm wracked Josh’s body.
“Fuck, baby, that’s it. You feel so fucking good,” he said between panting breaths once he came down from his latest high. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.”
My heart cracked open as I finally saw what I’d been too stubborn to accept before.
This had been living inside Josh the whole time.
Not once he’d completed the bond. Not when he’d told me he loved me on his deathbed.
Not even when he’d quietly accepted my terrible treatment of him when I learned the truth about him.
He’d been hiding this intense love long before any of that.
I let his legs fall off my shoulders so I could lean closer to him as I continued to bury my length in him again and again.
Immediately he wrapped them around my waist and used them as leverage to rock back into me.
I gripped his thigh tight, altering my angle just enough to send him over the edge again.
It was more than I could take. Heat ignited at the base of my spine and crashed through me.
I grunted through a release edged with pain.
He was still pulling me closer, deeper, milking every ounce I had to give.
When I met his lust-blown eyes filled with so much love, I could've drowned in it. Guilt threatened to sour the moment as I finally saw what I should have seen from the beginning. I leaned closer to share a sloppy kiss and finally accepted what I’d been running from for months.
Joy had sparked in Josh’s eyes when I’d told him I’d bonded to him all those months ago in the cabin. More than that, there’d been a glimmer of love and the hope of being loved in return. And I’d thrown it in his face.
Josh lay sprawled over my chest in a panting, exhausted puddle that perfectly mirrored my current state.
I scarcely had the energy to trail my fingers over his back, but nothing in this world would ever prevent me from touching Josh again.
He let out a heavy sigh and seemed to sink even deeper into me.
I brushed my lips against the top of his head and glanced around the room.
The place was a wreck. I vaguely recalled bumping into things and still couldn’t make myself care.
“For the record, your stamina did not need werewolf enhancement,” I said.
Josh’s chuckle vibrated through my chest, setting loose a flurry of light inside me. I tightened my arm around him and blinked past the sudden sting in my eyes.
Stars, I’ve missed him.
“Is something wrong?” The warmth of his breath tickled my skin.
I squeezed my eyes shut as the stinging intensified. The last thing I wanted was to dissolve into a blubbering idiot because he was being sweet. Damn Kotori and damn Priscilla too. I didn’t have trauma. I didn’t.
When I didn’t answer, he propped himself up to look down at me. “Baby?”
I caressed the side of his face and stroked my thumb over his prominent cheekbone. “I’m fine.” The lie might have been more convincing if my voice hadn’t warbled.
His eyes narrowed, then widened abruptly. He tenderly touched my jaw. “I’m learning my new strength.”
That was a mild way to put it. It was a miracle he hadn’t broken it. “I didn’t really hear an apology in there.”
“I can’t apologize if I’m not sorry.”
I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrows at that. The concept made sense, but the fact that he wasn’t even remotely apologetic for nearly breaking my jaw did not. “What happened to not hurting me?”
His eyes glittered malevolently, and in that moment, I was transported to when we’d first begun this dance. “I was provoked.”
I barked out a laugh. “You built yourself a loophole.”
He glanced away, and his shoulders slumped. “Of course I did. I’m not an idiot.”
“I am.” I cupped his chin and brushed my thumb over his bottom lip.
“Tell me something I don’t know,” he snickered.
I stared into his haunted green eyes. The truth about what I’d seen in his mind already on the tip of my tongue.
As fast as I considered telling him I was now privy to some of the darker bits of his past, I dismissed it.
Josh had lived through that horror once.
He didn’t need to live it again. And he definitely didn’t need to deal with my guilt.
He quirked an eyebrow, impatience clearly written on his face. “I’m waiting.”
My vow to bring light into Josh’s life resurfaced.
He didn’t need to be reminded of past traumas he’d likely buried.
He needed to know he was loved, that he was wanted.
All the things I’d failed to do for far too long.
I leaned up to give him a light kiss that kept our lips stuck together until I was finally too far away. “I missed you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” I brought his face to mine to steal another tender kiss. He moaned into it, and my breath hitched. “Don’t suppose I could convince you to take this to the bedroom?”
He snickered against my mouth, and the playfulness threatened to send me right back to the edge of losing my shit.
This was my Josh, and I’d missed him so fucking much.
“What’s the matter? Is the floor too hard for you, old man?
” He nuzzled my neck as his hand ventured south.
My time to convince him to relocate evaporated with each touch.
“No, but the couch is killing my back.”
“It’s been nine days.”
“It’s been a hundred and thirty-seven days,” I corrected.
Josh’s hand froze inches from its destination. “You’ve been sleeping on the couch for over four months? Why?”
“I couldn’t bear to sleep in that bed without you. As it is, I can hardly stand to be in the room long enough to shower and change clothes.” Much as it hurt to voice, I owed him more than the truth. I owed him honesty.
“Elijah. It’s just a room.”
I shook my head. “It’s a room that smells like you.
The one and only time I tried, I woke up convinced you were there.
That somehow you’d changed back and come home.
” My chest tightened with each word, and the stinging in my eyes returned with a vengeance.
That night had been awful, and it had been the closest I’d come to having a decent dream about Josh.
“When I realized you weren’t there, it was like losing you all over again. ”
“Baby…” He brushed his thumb beneath my eye, taking with it a renegade tear.
“I couldn’t do it.”
“Why didn’t you change the sheets? Air out the room?”
“And risk losing the only part of you I had?”
Josh's mouth came down on mine in a sudden, punishing kiss, which I gladly returned. All too soon his lips were gone, though, and he was hauling me to my feet with a strange look in his eyes. “Come on, baby, let’s get some rest.” He laced our fingers, keeping us connected.
He took a step towards the master, and I pulled on his hand. He fell against me, and I wrapped him in a tight hug. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again.” I held him for a few moments before releasing him to resume leading the way.
I hesitated at the threshold of the primary bedroom.
I let my gaze travel around the room I’d avoided like the plague.
The only physical evidence Josh had been here was the sweats and t-shirt I’d loaned him ages ago sitting neatly folded on the dresser.
Then there was his scent, softly sweet, lingering in the space.
A scent now being overwhelmed by the living person.
My gaze zeroed in on Josh’s concerned expression. I squeezed his hand, reminding myself he was really there, not a figment of my imagination spawned from countless nights of longing. Finally, I stepped forward and caught him in a kiss.
“What was that for?”
“I love you.”
Josh gave up my hand to wrap his arms around my neck, pulling me close. I slid my hands around his waist, desperate to feel as much of him as possible. He moaned against my mouth, and I pushed him gently back towards the bed.