Chapter 10
Josh
Iwalked into the dining room to find Elijah sitting at the table surrounded by book files, data tabs, and various notes. He glanced up at my entry, and his lips curved into a smile.
“Good morning, love.”
A week and a half of hearing such beautiful words out of that man’s mouth, and my heart still skipped. I cleared my throat to reground my focus. “What are you working on? Still the Great Expectations piece?”
His smile faltered. “I actually submitted that months ago. This is for A Tale of Two Cities.”
Just like that, my happy feeling evaporated. I’d wasted so much time being stuck as the wolf, and now all I could do was hope there’d be enough time left to get everything done.
“Is everything all right?” Elijah’s face clouded with concern.
I shook myself out of the sudden funk and focused on the data tab in my hands. Was I doing the right thing? “I have some documents that could use your signature.”
Both of his eyebrows shot up. “What sort of documents?”
I shrugged and held out the device while silently praying he wouldn’t dig too deeply. “Standard stuff. Including medical documents so you won’t face the same difficulties you did before.”
Elijah accepted the data tab and glanced at it. Wariness laced through his scent and etched itself into the thin line between his brows and the slight tick of his jaw. “Are you planning on nearly dying again?”
“One should always plan for dying, since for most of us it’s inevitable.”
His mouth twisted as he scanned the first page, which may have intentionally been a heap of legal jargon guaranteed to put off any sort of in-depth reading. “This looks like a lot of documents, Josh.”
“Just covering all the bases. Crossing all the T’s, dotting all the I’s.”
“Uh-huh.” He swiped to the next page, and I struggled to maintain an appearance of nonchalance. If he actually read everything, there was no way he’d sign the papers without arguing. “Do I need to read all of this?”
“Need is a strong word.”
He chuckled and grabbed a stylus from the stack of notes he’d accumulated. “I’ll take that as a no.”
I barely didn’t let out a sigh of relief. “Wait. Most of those require a witness.”
“Josh…”
“It’s legal paperwork, Elijah. Witnesses are often standard procedure.
Don’t get your tail in a twist.” I rolled my eyes and addressed the AI security system I’d installed prior to my stint at the hospital.
“Atlas, serve as witness to the signing of document file name ‘Contingency’.” The characteristic beep came, and this time Elijah rolled his eyes.
Ten minutes later, he stood and walked around the table to present me with the data tab and his signatures.
As he pressed the slim tablet into my hands, he pressed his lips against mine.
The warmth of his nearness washed through me in a comforting wave I knew I’d never grow weary of.
The meditation techniques helped to a degree, and of course, the higher dosage sedatives, but literally nothing had the same calming effect that Elijah’s mere presence did.
I sighed, and he stepped back with a smile.
“You didn’t by chance sneak a marriage license in there, did you?”
The question took me completely off guard, and I nearly dropped the data tab. “What? Why would you ask that?”
He shrugged as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb. “First, because you once equated the bond to an arranged marriage. And second, that wasn’t an answer.”
“No, I didn’t sneak a marriage license in there.”
But I definitely should have. Fuck, why didn’t I think of that? That would have gotten rid of at least half of those documents. Lawyers are useless.
“Hey, there’s no need to look so serious.” Elijah stepped in close once more, his hand already sliding around my waist and tugging me into him. I automatically wrapped my arms around his neck as his mouth closed over mine, and I could have sworn I heard him whisper, “Shame.”
I tangled my free hand in his hair while my mind took off with the half-heard word.
Was that something Elijah wanted? Did I have enough time left to make it happen?
Would he resent me when the final hour came?
Rather than voice any of my doubts or insecurities, I said the only thing I knew to be true: “I love you.”
He tipped my nose with his, a cheeky smile playing about his lips. “I love you too, moonbeam.”
I let out a sound that was a hair too close to a whimper. “I love it when you call me that.”
Something passed behind Elijah’s eyes too fast to catch, then he stepped back. “I know you’re not much of a breakfast man, but what do you say I whip up something anyway?”
“I could eat.”
He met my coy response with a chuckle as he turned to make his way through the opening to the kitchen.
I glanced down at the data tab in my hand and quickly scanned it for any missing signatures.
To be sure, it was a lot of documents, but my retainer assured me it covered all the eventualities and then some.
I just hoped it was enough. After I emailed the docs and Atlas’s witness confirmation to my lawyer, I ventured after Elijah to offer what assistance he would permit me.
The man was a bossy bear when it came to his kitchen.
Elijah
I walked into the kitchen intending to make omelets, but when I looked at the accumulated ingredients, it seemed I was in the mood for something slightly more extravagant. With a shrug, I prepped and combined everything while attempting to make sense of the chaos in my mind.
The eggs were mostly whisked by the time Josh took a seat at the island, and my thoughts weren’t faring any better. This past week had been like a fairytale, showing me what a life with Josh could actually look like, or might if I could learn from my mistakes and stop keeping secrets.
Is there an easy way to tell someone that you’ve been in their head, seen some of their darkest memories?
I chanced a look at Josh, and my heart skipped a beat.
He really was the most beautiful creature, with his dark hair hanging in his eyes and his plush lips pursed in concentration as he chopped the spinach I’d set out.
The sight was enough to make my chest ache.
Somehow, despite all the trauma he’d endured and all of his mother’s efforts to beat it out of him, Josh still had a kind, thoughtful heart.
Even though he’d buried it beneath a bite that was every bit as bad as his bark, with each passing day, I saw more and more of the generous person he was always meant to be. And I fucking loved that man.
“Thank you.”
At my expression of gratitude, Josh looked up and speared me with a smile that threatened to make my heart stop altogether.
I can’t keep this from him. He deserves to know the truth.
I opened my mouth to tell him all about Kotori and the lengths I’d gone to get him back, but none of that was what came out. “How goes the meditation?”
His shoulders stiffened, and he averted his gaze. “It could be going better.”
I sighed and finished assembling the rest of the ingredients before sliding the quiche into the oven. I set the timer and turned back to him. “And the sedatives? How are those working?”
He shifted in his seat, still keeping his gaze firmly focused down. “Well enough.”
“Is the dosage okay?”
His gaze flicked up. “What makes you think it’s not?” The question was neutral enough, but the slight clenching of his jaw and the way his hands went unnaturally still betrayed his anxiety.
“Because a very discreet package arrived this morning from the pharmacy, then seemed to magically disappear.” I refrained from adding that he’d been suspiciously calm the last few days.
Josh’s hand clenched on the counter, and he glared off to the side, once again refusing to meet my gaze. “Would you rather I be manic all the time?”
“You can’t keep relying on drugs.”
“They help.”
“They’re not meant to be a treatment, just a stopgap. It’s important that you learn to manage without,” I countered.
He rolled his eyes and pushed away from the island. “Easy enough for you to say. I, for one, do not enjoy being on an emotional roller coaster without stops. Meditation won’t make that go away.”
“It’s not a matter of making it go away. It’s about control.”
He threw up his hands. “What are you so worried about?”
“I don’t want you relying on them so much. You’re stronger than that.”
He snorted. “My metabolism is almost twice yours. Do you have any idea how much I would have to take for it to be a problem?”
“I’m not worried about physical dependence. I’m worried about mental. That you think you need them to function is concerning.”
“How is that your problem?” He gave a low growl and turned to leave.
I hurried around the island and grabbed his arm in order to pull him back against me. He remained stiff in the embrace, but I refused to let him go. “Because I love you.” Josh sagged slightly at the words, and I squeezed tighter. “I love you, moonbeam.”
He sighed and turned to bury his face in my neck.
“I know I should try harder. It’s just… frustrating.
And the more frustrated I become, the more difficult it is to remain calm.
I feel like a failure. I used to be so in control, but now it’s like I’m grasping at something to keep me afloat, and only finding air. ”
My heart ached to hear the defeat in his voice. “Then hang on to me. Use the bond as an anchor.” I combed my fingers idly through his hair and felt him relax a little more.
His fingers slipped beneath my shirt to slide across my lower back. The glide of his nose along with his warm breath caressing the sensitive skin had my heart suddenly doing double time. “That might work,” he whispered, placing a hot kiss just below my ear.
My breath hitched. “Moonbeam.”
He gave a low moan and dug his fingers into the top of my ass, pulling me tight against him. “I fucking love it when you call me that, baby.”