Chapter 14
Josh
Laughter bubbled out of me as Elijah yanked me into his arms. “It could be the moonlight, but I can’t help but think you’re as excited about this as I am.”
He nuzzled my neck, prompting yet more laughter, then stole a quick kiss. “That’s because I am. What lycan doesn’t like to turn and run beneath a full moon?”
“I don’t know, but you could have fooled me last time.”
His excitement dimmed slightly. “Josh, I never properly apologized…”
I shook my head. “You’ve already explained why you were so wound up. Is an apology really necessary?”
“Yes. It was your first real run, and I was a total killjoy.”
An ass. I was pretty sure the word he was looking for was “ass.”
I pushed away from him to finish stripping and squirreling away my clothes.
“I won’t argue with that. But as long as we end up sweaty and wrapped up in each other by the end of the night, I think I’ll be good.
” The added eyebrow wiggle was probably a bit much, but I couldn’t stop myself.
The moonlight danced along my skin and hummed in my veins so loud it was a wonder I could hear anything else.
He snickered and once again pulled me close, capturing my resulting gasp with a dominating kiss.
“Mm, I love you, baby, I really do, but there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that I’d make it through foreplay without shifting.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Your control has been getting better. I’d be willing to see how far you can go.”
“Cad.” I smacked him in the chest and stepped away.
“Fine, you have a point. Besides, if we got too distracted, then you’d miss your surprise.”
Even though I was still in human form, I could have sworn my ears twitched. “Surprise?”
Just then, the rustling of undergrowth caught my attention. I spun around as an equally naked man stepped clear of the dense foliage. His gray hair and brown eyes sparked recognition, though I’d only ever met him a handful of times. He raised a hand in greeting, which Elijah returned.
“Eric?”
“Hello, Josh.”
Absolute chaos erupted in my system. The urge to flee warred with the instinct to stand and fight.
It was no secret Eric wasn’t my biggest fan.
Add to that what had happened the last time we’d been anywhere near each other.
My body vibrated with contradictory reactions while my mind scrambled for a logical explanation for his presence.
“What are you doing here?” I finally asked when I couldn’t come up with anything plausible.
He cocked his head to the side and gave me a considering look, but not before shooting Elijah a sour one. “Same thing you are, I imagine.”
I took a wary step backward and met resistance. My gaze flitted down to Elijah’s hand on my waist, stalling my progress.
“They’re not here to attack you,” he said gently.
“They?” I glanced at Eric, who shrugged and looked back the way he’d come. A young man in his late teens stepped out. I’d only ever met him once, but it was hard to forget those soft eyes and baby face. “Kale? What are you doing here?”
“We’re kind of a package deal.”
My gaze ripped free of the teenager to land on a man in his early-twenties. His face I was very familiar with as well as his entire life history, his likes and dislikes, and why he should in no way be wearing a smile. “Tommy.”
He offered a small wave, then glanced from Elijah to Eric.
Eric immediately nodded and stepped away to gather Kale, while Elijah leaned down to whisper in my ear, “I’ll give you two a minute.” Then, he too moved away, taking his reassuring presence with him.
I stared after him with wide eyes and no small amount of panic. When I looked back at Tommy, he appeared noticeably more unsure than when he’d arrived. “Tommy… I…”
He stopped rubbing his arm and held up a hand to stall me. “Don’t. I didn’t come here to make you feel guilty or to demand an apology or some kind of retribution.”
I swallowed hard, not exactly easy considering my mouth had gone bone dry. “Why are you here?”
His shoulders relaxed, and he gave me a small smile. “To show you it’s safe to run with others.”
I shook my head. “I don’t understand. Why aren’t you furious with me? How can you stand to be anywhere near me?”
He glanced over his shoulder, then stepped closer. “Maybe I should start at the beginning. At first, I was furious. I’m pretty sure I’d never been so angry in my life. I almost killed my brother because of you.”
I sagged in place. “Tommy, I’m so sorry. I—”
“Wait. Yes, I was mad, but I’ve had time to come to terms with things and why you did what you did.”
“There is no excuse for what I did.”
He smiled again. “Elijah said you say that.” He snagged a fallen branch and peeled away the bark one strip at a time.
He kept his gaze fixed on the twig as he resumed speaking.
“Did you know I visited you in the hospital? I mean, I doubt you knew unless someone told you, but I came a few times a week for a good while there.”
I shook my head. “I had no idea.”
“Yeah. Anyway, at first I came so I could yell at you, but when I got there…” He hesitated.
“When I got there, I couldn’t do it. Seeing you that way and learning what you’d gone through to save us from your family–your mom–I couldn’t even imagine.
So, I talked to you instead, and the craziest thing happened—it helped.
Day by day, I was a little less angry until I just…
wasn’t. I know it was one-way glass, but I swear there were some days that you knew I was there, that you could hear me and were listening.
You’d lay right in front of me and stare at where I was standing like you were giving me your complete attention.
Before I realized it, I wasn’t angry at all. I just liked talking to you.”
“I don’t remember much from when I was stuck.
The wolf… the wolf remembers some things, but I’m still working out how to make sense of those memories.
” I didn’t know what else to say. Here was the first Lycan I’d infected with the artificial Mien Zeke my sorry excuse of a mother had concocted in a secret laboratory, and he was offering me forgiveness, something I neither expected nor deserved.
“Tommy, I don’t know what to say. We still don’t know how I’ll do around others. This is only my second run.”
“But you’ve been in wolf form longer than I have.
Sabrina has a theory that the initial turn after infection is the most violent because the body is actually fighting the virus as well.
Can anyone say rage monster?” He chuckled.
“Anyway, the point is, you’ve already burned through and adapted to the alteration. ”
“You don’t know that.”
“But we believe in you.” I started at Elijah’s voice appearing beside me without warning. “You deserve to know what it’s like to run in a pack.”
“If I can do it, you can do it.” Tommy’s assurance, while heart-warming, did little for my confidence. The dose I’d received and the one I’d inflicted on him were vastly different. I could still hear my mother’s sick glee as she explained how they’d modified the serum to “lean heavily into lunacy”.
“It’s not quite the same. I’m… I… You…” My words tumbled over each other until I finally gave up. “Do you really think this is a good idea?”
Elijah
I could understand Josh’s reticence, but it didn’t change that this was something that needed to be done. “You won’t know until you try.”
Tommy and Kale nodded in agreement. It took Eric an extra beat, then he added his nod. I knew Eric was nervous about this experiment. I also knew he was still struggling to come to terms with Josh being a Harker, but his being here anyway and lending his support meant the world to me.
Then, in true Eric fashion, he cut through all the uncertainty. “Come on, everyone, to your spots. We’ll reconvene at the clearing half a kilometer north of here once we’re all shifted.”
Without a word, everyone moved to comply. Tommy veered off to the east. Kale shot Josh an encouraging thumbs-up before drifting southeast.
Eric lingered another minute, his gaze shifting between the two of us. “You’re really going to change together?”
Josh’s lip curled, and he took a step closer to me, growling. He didn’t even seem to be aware that he was doing it.
“Easy, moonbeam.” I placed a hand on the back of his neck and gave a gentle squeeze. Eric, at least, had the decency to look abashed.
“Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just…”
I held up a hand to prevent him from putting his tail anymore in his mouth than it already was. “It’s fine, Eric. Go change. We’ll meet you there.”
He nodded and peeled off to the west.
“I… I don’t know what came over me,” Josh stammered.
I pressed a soft kiss to his temple before releasing him. “It’s okay, you’re not used to anyone besides me questioning you or giving you a hard time.”
“You think that’s what it was?” His searching gaze looked far from convinced.
I bit the inside of my cheek. The truth was far more complicated than that, but I didn’t really want to burden him with any other worries before the run. Instead of blatantly lying to him, I opted to take a page out of his book and avoid the question altogether. “Welcome to running in a pack.”
He scoffed and put some distance between us so he could start his change. “I’ll go first this time.”
“Sure thing, moonbeam.”
He flashed me a brilliant smile, then got situated.
Josh
My optimism that the change might go faster this time proved ill-placed.
Distracting thoughts of how the wolf would behave with others running with us, on top of Eric’s questioning Elijah and me changing together, made it damn near impossible to get my head in the right place.
I despaired that I’d have to wait for moonrise before I could shift when the sharp pain of the change took hold.