Thirty-Seven
R eacher must have sat there for five minutes or more, while he waited for me to fight my way back out of my head, and realise what a prick I’d made of myself. I was going to stand up and act like a man, well, as soon as my legs felt a little less like jelly.
“Fuck.” My back and ass were killing me, but the thought of going back in there to get any more help was almost as terrifying as the thoughts roiling around in my head.
“Something triggered you,” Reacher finally murmured, watching me with his chin rested on his fists.
“Yeah? No shit.”
He watched me trying to pick myself up from the ground, and eventually took pity on me, and stood up, giving me a hand up. I leaned against the wall of the building for a minute, hoping the pain in my body would ease off a bit.
“What happened, Has? I’ve never seen you like that.”
I couldn’t look my Club President in the eye right now, because that hadn’t happened since I was a teenager, way back when I used to dull the feelings with whatever the fuck I could get high on. Back when I just wanted it all to stop for good.
“Weirdest thing. I was fine until I had to drop trou, and bend over for the doc.”
Reacher cursed, moving over to stand against the wall with me.
“Elise was with you?”
I nodded, leaning my head back against the wall, and staring at the blue sky and the fluffy clouds, and wondering why the sky wasn’t as dark and angry as my mind right now.
“She has no idea, and I can’t tell her. It’s bad enough that she’s seen those fucking videos, but this too? I’m such a fucking catch, right?” I let out a bitter laugh. “No wonder Stitch wants me dead. I should have stayed away from her like he said.”
“Yeah, you probably should have. That said, we don’t exactly make the best decisions when our dicks get involved, and we make even worse ones when our hearts do. Stitch’ll understand that eventually. His sister could do far worse.”
I looked at him then, finally braving meeting those wise old eyes of his.
“You’re serious? You think I’m a good match for her? She’s younger than me, she’s smart as fuck, like she could be anything, and you think some loser biker’s old lady is the role for her? She’s gonna realise she could have done better than me, and I’ll fucking die when she leaves me. Fuck. I didn’t realise just how much I fucking love her until I said that, and suddenly I realise it’s true. I don’t exist without her. Not anymore. She brings light into my darkness, and she makes me feel things. Good things. Until today, all that shit from the past, it felt like I could just forget it and move on.”
“And now? You wanna go looking for retribution?”
Did I? I had no idea, but if I saw one of those fuckers crossing the road? I’d make sure I left nothing recognisable in the road but blood and pain.
Reacher pushed away from the wall, standing a few feet away from me.
“Promise me one thing, brother.”
“What’s that?”
“You’ll let us get this serial killer shit out of the way, and make our old ladies safe, before you go looking for your revenge? That way we can all fucking back you, and take them out together.”
I swallowed against the sudden lump in my throat, clearing my throat before I spoke.
“Yeah, I can do that. Of course, once this is all over, maybe I won’t even be a member of the club anymore. Not if Stitch decides he can’t forgive me.”
“I’ll worry about him. I think at this point it’s just stubbornness still making all the noise, because he knows, as I do, that you’re one of the most solid and decent guys we all know.”
I really hoped that would be enough, and I wouldn’t lose everything, because if I lost the club, you could be pretty sure that Stitch would find a way to keep me away from Elise too.
“Let’s get back, and see what we do next. We grounded everyone with a call to arms warning, but that means we have to check all remaining bikes for tampering, and get back the ones from today. There’s a shit ton to do here, brother. I need to know you can keep your head in the game for now. We need your help, yeah?”
I nodded, following him away from the building, while he sent a text for a pickup when the van was free again. I hadn’t even given a single thought to my bike, because everything else going on had trumped that for me. It was only an idle thought now, and what was that about?
Suddenly my ride wasn’t my biggest priority, but hadn’t it been that way for a while now?
Elise
S eth left me with the other ‘old ladies’ in my room, while they waited for Reacher and Has to return, and called an emergency Church session. It was all so weird, but I couldn’t concentrate on that right now.
I needed to know Has was okay. I’d seen him taken back to some kind of trauma, something so bad that he’d recoiled from my touch. I wasn’t an idiot, I knew there were extremes that could lead to that kind of behaviour. Hell, I’d almost been there myself, but what if he hadn’t been so lucky?
“Babe, you okay?” Cammy sat down by me at the window, while the other ladies were sitting on the sofa chatting.
I couldn’t turn away from the window, because I wanted to see him return, to see that familiar confidence in his walk, that grin on his face.
“I just need to know Has is okay.”
She reached over and squeezed my hand, and I was taken back to my strong biker’s reactions earlier.
“Something bad happened to him, babe, and I need to know what it was.”
She patted my hand and sat back again, her eyes scanning the car park too. Even though her man was back and safe, it felt like we were wives waiting for our men to return from battle, or something equally intense. Maybe Has wasn’t winning his battle, and maybe he needed me right now, and I was letting him down by not being at his side where I belonged.
“Elise, hey, look at me for a minute.”
“I can’t. I need to see him come back.”
She laughed quietly. “Girl, you really have it bad for him. I knew it back when you both first started trying to pretend there was nothing going on. Is he… you know… the one? The one you want forever?”
I glanced at her then, but my eyes returned to the window almost instantly, because I couldn’t miss his arrival. I had to know he was back safe, I needed to see him with my own two eyes to be sure.
“He is definitely the one. I mean, he’s my only.”
“Oh my god. You guys fucked!”
What? “Shh, not so loud. You know my brother is seriously against us being together.”
“Girl, if you think any of us are going to let him stand between you and your love, you really don’t know us at all.” Suddenly all of the old ladies were standing around us at the small two person table. And old lady was such a weird term for a bunch of young, strong willed women, wasn’t it?
“The club was against me being an old lady, you know. Their own president’s old lady.” Alicia sighed, tucking her thick blonde hair over her shoulder.
“It was awful, but you know who helped us fix that? Your brother. He forced Reacher to put love before the club, so he’s a complete hypocrite for trying to put the club before your love.”
I liked that, it was definitely something I could use to throw back at him when he went off on one again.
“You don’t even want to know how we came to meet the club, but Tori’s story and mine, they’re not the best of starts with the guys here, but they came to accept both of us.”
“They don’t have to accept me though, because I’m family, right? And Has is definitely family. He’s a brother, so they should back him no matter what.”
“There are those who’ll side with their VP just to prove their loyalty to the club, but Has-Been is well loved, and well respected here. I can’t see this going any other way than in your favour in the end.”
I really hoped they were right, because if it didn’t go that way, I had to hope he’d be willing to leave the club to be with me. The one thing I knew was that I didn’t want to be away from him. Ever.