Forty
A fter an agonising conversation, and sharing my painful past with my girl, we ate a simple meal and went to bed. I was exhausted, and in more pain than I was willing to admit, so we curled up together under the covers and fell asleep, and that should have been the end of that awful day.
“No crying now, Ethan. Stars don’t cry, do they? They do as they’re told.”
I lurched into a sitting position, my heart thudding painfully in my chest as I scrutinised the dark room, almost like I expected him to be here, and not just a figment of my nightmare.
“Has?”
Elise didn’t touch me, but she sat up too.
“Is… are you okay? Was it a dream?”
As the panic subsided, the pain returned to my back and I groaned, dropping back onto the pillows.
“Jesus, sorry babe. It… it was his voice and it, fuck… just let’s go back to sleep. It’s okay.”
Elise settled down in my arms with her head against my chest, but I couldn’t settle. I couldn’t relax or go back to sleep, because he’d be waiting there for me. He was the worst of them. The one who was first to force me. The one who used that cajoling tone every fucking time.
“Has?”
“Yeah, babe? Sorry I woke you.”
“Your heart is thudding so fast. Are you okay?” Was I? Would I ever be?
I finger combed her hair slowly, focusing on that one thing, the way her soft hair felt, sliding over my fingers, the way she sighed into me, relaxing more as I kept doing it.
Eventually I think it lulled us both to sleep, and we didn’t wake again until morning.
“H as?” Elise kissed me, and waking up to my sweet girl was officially the only way I planned to wake up in future.
“Morning babe… you wanna climb on board?”
She giggled, swatting at my chest.
“I’m already dressed, silly.” I shook off the grogginess of still being half asleep and focused on her. She wasn’t in the bed with me, she was leaning over me, and yeah, fully fucking dressed.
“I don’t think I agreed to this, babe… don’t you wanna ride my cock until you scream?”
“I’d really fucking rather she didn’t.” Fuck. Stitch was in here with us? I sat up and scanned the room and sure enough, he was sitting on the sofa glaring at me.
“Jesus, why didn’t you warn me?”
Elise giggled again. “You were out like a light, so I let you sleep while I made coffee. For once, Seth didn’t try to kick the door in when he stopped by.”
Stitch snorted. “It’s this new thing I’m trying, where I’m being less of an asshole.”
I opened my mouth to make a snarky quip back at him, as I would have always done, but things were different now, weren’t they? We weren’t just brothers anymore. He wasn’t just my VP anymore. He was now the man who could destroy me completely.
“Uh… yeah, sorry VP. I’ll get dressed.”
Stitch shrugged. “I was just checking in with my baby sister, you stay where you are… or you know, at least let me look away before you get out, with your junk swinging in the wind.”
Elise giggled, and pointed to a steaming mug of coffee on the cabinet beside me.
“It’s fine. Everything’s fine, Has. Just relax.”
Fuck that. I dragged the sheet with me and headed into the bathroom, freshening up as fast as I could, to get back out there before Stitch did something dumb, like convince my old lady that I wasn’t her guy or something.
By the time I stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, he was already gone though.
“What the fuck. How long was I in there?”
Elise sat on the bed and eyed me.
“He was only checking in on me. He didn’t even have a coffee, Has. He wanted to get back to Cammy though, because they’re reinforcing all the rooms with old ladies today.”
Finally. “That’s good, babe… uh… did he say anything about me? Or us?”
She shook her head.
“I think he’s trying to pretend this isn’t really happening, but no, he wasn’t trying to talk me out of things, if that’s what you were expecting. He really was just making sure I was okay.” That assertion yet again bothered me. Why would he need to check on her like that when she was with me?
“Does he think I’ve been doing awful things to you or something?” Jesus, of course he would, because hadn’t I always enjoyed getting down and dirty with the ladies? Hadn’t everyone now seen me fucking online? Did he think I was assfucking his sister like she was just some whore I met in a bar?
“Has, sit down.” Oh shit. That sounded serious. I sat beside her, and took a moment to just see her. The way her smile seemed to light up the room, lifting the shadows away from me, making me feel warmed by it. They way her eyes seemed to sparkle with happiness and that general brightness she always seemed to exude. She was a literal ray of sunshine, and I wanted her to be mine forever.
“Be my old lady?” Fuck, that wasn’t very romantic, was it? Her mouth dropped open and she looked away from me. She looked away? What the fuck?
Elise
H e really just blurted that out, didn’t he? How did I expect it to come up, though? It wasn’t like a wedding proposal, with bikers getting down on one knee. This was different. This was a biker thing, and while it was as permanent as marriage, the rituals were all different.
“Babe? Fuck… don’t do this to me, please. I thought we were solid. I thought we were happy.”
I turned to see Has-Been looking distraught, like his heart had been broken. How? I’d had all of two seconds to process his blurted out biker proposal.
“What? We are, oh my god, Has… I was just absorbing what you just said! Yes, of course that’s what I want. It’s all I wanted from the moment I first met you. You know I love you. Stop doubting yourself like this. This is my brother’s fault, isn’t it? He’s somehow convinced you you’re not good enough or something, but you are! My god, you’re everything.” I moved closer to him, watching the horror drain from his face, as his lips suddenly quirked up into that gorgeous smile of his. The one that made me want to swoon at his feet every damn time.
“Seriously? Fucking hell, babe. You just took twenty years off me then.” He caught the back of my head and pulled me to his lips, the minty tang of toothpaste still tingling a little against my tongue as I kissed him back. I could feel his love, and not in a poking me with his dick kind of way, but in the way that it seemed to overwhelm me, like warmth pouring out of him and surrounding me. He really loved me. Really wanted me forever. How was this even real? I kept thinking he’d change his mind, especially now he’d had the… you know… my cherry or whatever.
He pulled back from our kiss, his gorgeous blue eyes gazing into mine.
“I need you, babe… are you uh… able?”
I felt my lips twitching, but I nodded. He was so sweet and considerate, because I may not still be his virginal girl, but he still cared enough to make sure I wasn’t still sore down there.
Has grinned widely, turning and pressing me down on the bed, his towel slipping away as he climbed over me, and started tugging at the buttons on my shirt.
“Fuck me, babe… you wearing this just to torture me?”
I giggled, helping him unbutton my shirt, or taking over, since his hands lowered to my jeans, pulling them undone, and wiggling them down my legs. By the time he was dragging my underwear away, I was shrugging out of my shirt.
Has paused to look at me, his eyes travelling the length of my body, as a groan parted his lips.
“So fucking perfect. How the hell are you with me, babe? How the hell are you mine?” He lowered himself over me, dragging me into another of those slow teasing kisses, as his fingers traced the line of my bra. He lowered his hips and let out a curse.
“Has?”
He rolled away, landing on his back with another wince. “Fuck’s sake!”
My eyes instantly went to his waist, where his hand was lazily stroking his cock. It was hard, so that wasn’t the issue.
“Are you okay?”
“My fucking back, babe. My… where I came off my bike. I can’t fucking believe this.”
I moved closer on my knees, and reached out toward his cock. I could do this, right?
“Babe? You don’t have to-”
“I want to touch it.”
Has took my hand, squeezing it gently before he guided it to his cock, moving his other hand away as my fingers touched it. He let out a low groan as I wrapped my fingers around the heated silken flesh.
“Oh wow… it doesn’t feel like I expected it to. Last time I think I was too nervous to really notice.”
Has chuckled, and then let out another groan as I stroked my fingers along his length.
“Jesus, babe. Your touch feels like heaven. You can stroke it faster if you like.”
Suddenly my hand wasn’t moving any longer, and I felt my cheeks flushing red. I knew what I wanted but it wasn’t this.
“Babe? You okay? You don’t have to do it. You don’t have to touch him.”
Has lifted my hand away from his cock, and squeezed it again.
“It’s okay, babe.”
I shook my head, tugging my hand away.
“I want to ride it instead.”