Chapter 12 #3
Adrian’s laugh floated back to me. “My condo association would have something to say about that. Besides, I’m not exactly the rural type.”
Nate made a thoughtful noise. “You seem to be adapting pretty well to Legacy.”
I forced myself to focus on the equipment, not on their conversation or the implications behind Nate’s words.
Adrian wasn’t adapting to Legacy; he was using it as a backdrop for his content, just like every other influencer who’d blown through here. Once he got what he needed, he’d be gone.
I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn’t notice Nate approaching until he spoke directly beside me.
“Take that man to bed, Sullivan,” he said casually. “And if the sex turns out to be as hot as it ought to be, then consider taking him into your heart, too. Since that’s a thing some people seem to want.”
My head snapped up. “What the fuck?”
Nate met my gaze steadily, his earlier teasing glint nowhere to be found.
“You’re not a dumbass, so stop acting like one.
” He glanced over to where Adrian was giving June a final pat.
“I saw the way you look at him through the lens. Stop fighting what’s obvious to everyone but you, Sullivan. Life’s too short.”
Before I could respond, he walked away, heading back to Adrian. I watched as he said something that made Adrian laugh, then suddenly freeze. After a moment, they shook hands, and Adrian walked toward the passenger side of his rental, where I was already waiting.
“You mind driving?” he asked. “I’m not confident on snowy roads.”
I grunted my agreement and began the drive back to town in awkward silence. Adrian stared out the passenger window at the darkening sky, occasionally checking his phone. I kept my eyes fixed on the road, hands clamped on the wheel.
“Thanks for driving,” he said at length. “I had a near miss on a slick spot yesterday when I was heading to town. Glad not to be the one at the wheel, honestly.”
The steering wheel creaked as my hands tightened further, imagining him in danger. Cold sweat prickled on my skin as memories of my parents’ accident flashed through my mind like an old VCR tape worn thin in spots from being played too many times. “Anytime.” I glanced at him. “I mean it. Anytime.”
He nodded and swallowed. Silence descended again for several awkward minutes.
“So,” Adrian said, breaking the silence. “Nate seems nice.”
“Yeah,” I agreed neutrally. Don’t fucking dance with him. “Known him since high school. Good guy.”
“He, uh, said something interesting to me before we left.”
I tensed, keeping my expression carefully blank. “Ignore him. He’s full of shit.”
Adrian turned slightly in his seat to face me. “He told me Maya begged him to cancel on us.”
That wasn’t at all where I thought this conversation was going. “The fuck?” I reached for my phone, but Adrian caught my hand and held it.
“Stop. What are you going to say to her? She’s a kid, Maddox.”
I clenched my jaw. “A kid who shouldn’t be playing with things she doesn’t understand.”
His thumb brushed across the top of my hand painfully lightly before he let go and shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat. “She doesn’t want you to be alone. She cares about you.”
My face heated with embarrassment. “I’m fine. Why does everyone think being alone is a bad thing?”
Adrian looked out the window on his side as we passed snowy fields and the ever-darkening sky. After a while, he murmured, “It gets old, don’t you think?”
I glanced at him in surprise. “And you would know? I’ve seen your social media. You’re never alone.”
His lips tipped up in a hollow smile, but he kept his gaze trained out the window. “Social media tells a story, Maddox. Paints a pretty picture. A fantasy. Isn’t that what you keep trying to tell me?”
I stared at him so hard he must’ve felt the heat of it because he turned toward me, his smile so obviously fake it made my stomach twist. “Nate must be a hell of a fuck, huh?” His smile faded. “He didn’t just tell me about Maya’s call when he pulled me aside. He mentioned you two had history.”
Instead of continuing the drive to my place in town, I turned down the long, winding road leading to Adrian’s rental cabin.
“What are you doing?” he asked, looking around at the vast expanse of snow. “How are you going to get home? I’m not that afraid of driving—”
“I’m coming home with you,” I said. I kept my hands around the steering wheel to keep from reaching for his hand.
Adrian sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business who you fucked. You don’t owe me any explanations. Obviously.”
“I know that.”
“And I’m sorry he’s gotten the wrong idea about us, if that messes things up for you. I did try to explain that it was all for content.”
Was that why he’d said those things?
My hands were clenched so tightly around the wheel my fingers throbbed. “I heard you.”
“Then why are you coming to my place? And did you happen to notice I didn’t invite you?”
I struggled with what to say or whether to speak at all.
Part of me wanted to say that I cared about his feelings. About why he seemed to be hiding so much.
But I also didn’t want to say anything. Wanted to lose myself in his body again and take what I needed from him as long as he was willing to give it.
Instead of either of those things, I gave him a sliver of my trust.
“My parents died,” I said stupidly, telling him something he already knew. I swallowed the nerves climbing up my throat and continued. “Car accident on the mountain pass. They were, uh… coming back from a suppliers’ convention in Billings. Black ice.” I shook my head. “It was awful. I…”
Adrian’s hand landed warm and solid on my leg and squeezed gently. “Fuck, Maddox. I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head. “It’s not… I don’t…” I shook my head again. “I’m not still grieving them like that. Not like I was at first. I mean, I have good days and bad, but it’s not about their death anymore. It’s more… I worry about letting them down. With the store and with Maya. But also…”
I pulled in front of his rental and threw the vehicle into Park before rubbing my hands over my face and turning to meet his eyes.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m doing what I ‘should’ do,” I said, using air quotes, “and then my mom’s voice is in my head telling me none of that stuff matters and to do what makes me happy. ”
Adrian reached over and ran his hand over my head and down into the hair at the base of my skull. “And then you loop yourself in circles wondering what the fuck happy even is,” he said with a gentle smile.
“Yeah. That.”
“I know what you mean. I feel like happy is a moving target. Some days, I think I’m happy doing what I do, traveling and meeting people all over the world, and then some days… some days, I wonder what the fuck I’ve gotten myself into. Some days, I loathe it.”
Adrian’s fingers toyed with the hair at my collar, sending goose bumps all over my skin. My eyes met his, and heat flooded my veins.
“What would make you happy right now?” My voice sounded whiskey-soaked and rough. At this point, I was barely keeping it together. I wanted him desperately.
His jaw flexed. “To stop imagining that rancher’s hands on you.”
“I don’t want Nate’s hands on me, Hayes,” I admitted, not looking away from him.
Adrian’s eyes moved to my mouth, and his nostrils flared. “If you come inside with me, you’re staying.”
I glanced back at him as I reached for the door handle. “Maybe this time, you’ll do a better job of wearing me out.”
#SleighBellsRing #FuckNate #ColdConfessions #YesPlease