27. Ren
27
REN
I t’s not a surprise when there’s a soft knock at my bedroom door a couple of hours after we got back from the bar. I’ve been lying here, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Scarlet all this time. Remembering how good it was having her wrapped around me on the bike. There was a minute there where I wished I could keep going, like there was a way I could outrun everything. She has a way of making me believe shit like that is possible.
But I’m not a little kid anymore, and I wasn’t that na?ve even when I was a kid. Certain experiences have a way of beating the na?veté out of you.
“Yeah?” I ask, propping myself up on one elbow while the door opens, and Scarlet pokes her head into the room.
“Can I come in? I wanted to talk.” I don’t care what she wants to do. I wouldn’t turn her down for anything. Especially when she’s wearing a tiny pair of shorts and a thin T-shirt I can almost see through when the light from the hallway hits her from behind. I’m only human, and I’ve been missing her.
“Is it okay if I get in with you?” Rather than say anything, I throw the blanket back and lie down again before she climbs in next to me, burrowing under the blanket and curling up against my body. Fuck, she smells good. I can barely think for how good she smells. And how good it feels to have her next to me, so warm.
“Thanks.” She clears her throat, itching a little closer. “Do you mind?” Her arm slides across my bare chest, and my breath catches. I’m not going to stop her from draping her arm over me, then resting her head on my chest. It’s not long before she’s in my arms, and I’m holding her close, grateful for the unexpected gift.
“I really needed this,” she whispers. Her soft hair spills over my shoulder, and I take a deep breath to inhale the sweetness.
“I think I did, too,” I admit. She makes a happy little noise that brings a smile to my lips before I tighten my grip around her. For a little while, it’s enough to lie here in the dark, nobody watching my every move, nobody distrusting me. It’s not long, though, until I have to ask the question that’s been on my mind ever since I saw her tonight. “Tell me the truth. Why did you go to the bar?”
At first, she only grumbles a little, but I’m not going to let it go. I want to hear it from her mouth. She keeps talking about not taking risks anymore, then she does something like that. What if Tony hadn’t been there?
Finally, she sighs. “You know I wanted to be there because you were there.”
“Why?”
She raises her head and looks me in the eye, and in the faint moonlight coming in through the windows, I see the way she narrows her eyes. “What kind of question is that?”
“The kind of question I want an answer to.”
“Very funny.” She rests against my shoulder again with another sigh. “I just wanted to be with you. I mean, yeah, I wanted to make sure there weren’t any stupid skanks trying to get in your pants, too. That was part of it.”
The fact that she still wants to be with me after everything is enough as it is. But knowing she was jealous is a whole other story. This probably isn’t the time for me to get all full of myself, but I can’t help it. She really does still want me to the point of following me out to keep an eye on us.
Her leg slides over mine like she’s trying to make herself more comfortable, and a helpless sort of yearning rises in me. I was staying away from her to keep her safe, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still weak when it comes to her touch. Having her this close makes it tough to breathe, but I would rather suffocate than tell her to leave me alone. I need her too much.
“Can I ask you something?” It’s not a comfortable question, but it’s the question I keep coming back to every time I try to make sense of her having sex with River. All I want to know is why.
“Of course. Whatever you want to know.” Fuck, she is so sweet and trusting. Her heart is so open to me, even now. Just when I think I can’t love her more, she proves otherwise.
Now that the moment is here, I have to find the right words. “When you’re with River… having sex, I mean… is it different? Am I different?”
“That’s really hard to explain,” she murmurs in a soft voice.
“I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, I’m glad you did. I’m just trying to find the words.” She props her chin on her hand, sitting on my chest. All I can do is stroke her hair and try to commit the feel to my memory in case there’s any reason we have to stay apart. Life is so damn unpredictable.
“When I’m with River,” she eventually murmurs, speaking slowly, like she’s choosing her words carefully, “you’re… free. There’s no restraint. You don’t hold anything back. And I guess I like it.” She squeezes her eyes tightly shut, wincing. “I’m sorry if that sounds wrong.”
“I get it. So it’s kind of wild and, I don’t know, unpredictable?” I’m talking about what it’s like when I fuck her, but I’m not the one actually doing it. Only I am. It’s more confusing the more I try to make sense of it.
“It’s like, rough and edgy. When you are River, you treat me like I can handle anything. There must be part of me that wants it that way. I don’t know what it says about me,” she admits.
I hate the way she sounds, like she’s blaming herself somehow. It makes me hook a finger under her chin to lift her head so she’s looking me in the eye. “God, you are beautiful,” I whisper, since the sight of her overwhelming beauty wiped away what I was going to say. I have to concentrate to bring myself back into focus. “You’re learning something about yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that. And if I’m helping you figure it out, I guess that’s good, too. You don’t have anything to feel guilty about.”
That earns me a scowl. “Don’t say that. I know it’s hard for you. I do feel like I have to apologize.”
“I’m just saying there’s nothing wrong with liking things a little different. Rougher and whatnot. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect.”
“Okay, I don’t know if I agree with all of that.” Her teeth sink into her lip and something between us shifts. I can feel the change that comes over her before she asks, “Maybe I can make it up to you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Let me show you.” The hand she was using to prop her chin on my chest now slides down the length of my abdomen. It’s almost too much, the explosion of sensation that races through me because of her gentle touch. That’s all it takes for my dick to go from twitching to swelling.
“What are you doing?” I know what she’s doing, but it feels like I should say something as she wiggles her way down the bed and tugs at my pajama pants.
“Let me take care of you.” All I can do is close my eyes and fall back against the pillow when she slides a hand under my waistband and wraps it around me. Her touch is soft and gentle, but it has the power to send heat spreading through me. There is no fighting her. I’m always going to need her like I need air or water. She’s that necessary.
Right now, she’s taking me into her mouth. Fuck, so good. My fists clench the sheets under me when her head starts to bob. The pressure from her mouth is insane, and it’s not long before I lift my hips, feeding myself to her. “Yeah, that’s it. Make me come for you,” I rasp, my fingers buried in her soft hair while I move my hips. She’s eager, slurping on me, moving faster. There’s nothing in the world but this—the two of us in this bed. The way it’s supposed to be, the way I want it always.
“Yes, Angel, you know what my cock likes,” I whisper, and the little moan she releases in response is almost enough to make my eyes roll back. Everything about this is electric. I’m torn between wanting relief and hoping it never ends. I could spend the rest of my life suspended in total pleasure thanks to my angel’s tongue running up and down my shaft before lapping at my head.
But it’s still not enough. “Stop for a second.” There’s nothing I want less than losing the mind-blowing pressure of her mouth wrapped around me, but she deserves something, too. “I want you to sit on my face.”
“What?” She’s a little breathless from all that work. I hear the uncertainty in her voice even as I sit up and pull her closer. “What are you doing?”
“I need to taste that sweet pussy while I’m coming in your mouth. That’s what I want.” She shivers when I touch her cheek, then sighs softly. “Can you do that for me, Angel?”
She answers by pulling her T-shirt off all at once. I take a second to soak in the sight of her gorgeous tits before she wiggles out of her shorts. So eager, and all mine.
“Lie back,” she whispers, and I’m not about to waste any time. My cock is dripping precum, and I’m as close to exploding as I’ve ever been, but the scent of her arousal once she settles over me kicks everything up to the next level. I don’t even think about it before digging my fingers into her hips and pulling down hard, almost smothering myself in her wet, juicy folds.
“Oh, my god!” she whines, but anything else is stifled once she takes me in her mouth again. She sucks harder than before, almost like it’s a contest to see who can make the other one come first. Right now, I’m in no hurry, driving my tongue deep into her cunt to lap up every drop of her sweetness, fucking her in time with her skillful strokes. She grinds hard against my face, using me, and I like that. It’s what I want. I can give her everything River has. I need her to know that.
All either of us knows is how amazing this feels. She uses her hand on me when she comes up for air. “Yes, just like that,” she begs, fucking me with her fist. “Make me come, Ren.”
She’s so close, and knowing she is gives me permission to stop fighting what’s building in me. Her gasps for air have turned to high-pitched cries, which are muffled once she wraps her lips around me again. Yes, I’m going to come with her. I’m going to coat her throat the way her musky nectar coats my tongue.
By the time she goes stiff, I let go, and nothing has ever felt so right as coming with her. We’re both locked in this moment together, sharing something only we can.
And by the time she releases me and rolls away, her limp body tells me she’s satisfied. I would ask her to check, but I’m too busy coming down from my high to say a word.
“Thank you for that.” The bed shifts when Scarlet does, she swings around again so her head rests on my shoulder. She shivers against me, and I wrap my arms around her trembling form before pulling the blanket over her. This precious thing, the one good thing in my life. Somehow, she still trusts me. She still wants this with me. It’s humbling in a way, maybe a little hard to understand. To her, I’m not a monster. I’m somebody worth being jealous over.
I still haven’t made any sense of it by the time my eyes drift shut, and the sounds of her soft, gentle breathing lull me to sleep. For the first time in a long time, I’m peaceful and content. I only wish it could be like this always.