28. Ren

28

REN

“ F ull… so full…” Scarlet moans into the pillow.

I look down at her small body beneath me, her hands spreading her ass cheeks apart for me as I bury my cock inside her ass. “Good, I like you full of my cock. I like your holes good and stuffed. I’m gonna start fucking you, and you’re going to be a good little girl and keep those ass cheeks spread for me.” My voice is husky, almost unfamiliar, but it’s definitely my own.

Scar keeps holding herself open for me as I move in and out of her ass at a steady pace. Fuck, she feels so incredibly tight.

“Fuck yes, that’s it, slut, relax for me. Let me fuck you.” At my crude words, she relaxes a little further, sinking into the mattress.

I increase my pace, fucking her faster and harder with each stroke. Part of me wonders if I’m hurting her, but the longer I go, the more she presses her ass up, urging me to go even deeper. She likes this.

“I’m going to fill your ass with my come, but I want you to come with me. I want you to fall apart while I fuck your ass,” I say as I snake my arm around her until my fingers are right over her swollen clit. I rub the small bundle of nerves, roughly—rougher than I normally would—and it only takes a few seconds for her orgasm to sneak up on her.

“I—I’m coming…” She manages to spit out between choked moans.

A grunt rips from my throat, as I fuck her with deep strokes while pinching her clit so hard it must be painful. Her thighs quiver and her body tightens as her release takes hold of her.

“Fuck yes, milk my cock!” I roar as she comes all over my fingers.

“Ren!” Scarlet’s sleepy voice drags me out of my dream. “Ren, wake up!”

My eyes fly open, and I’m greeted with the bright light of the bedside lamp. Scarlet is hovering over me, concern edged into her face. “I think you had a bad dream,” she explains. Bad? I wouldn’t say that. Disturbing. Maybe.

“What’s wrong?” The concern grows in her voice.

“Nothing… I think… I wasn’t dreaming. It felt more like I was remembering something. River’s memory.”

Scarlet swallows slowly, her delicate throat moving. “What kind of memory?” She still sound worried, but this time for a different reason.

“I was fucking your ass. On this bed. You were spreading your cheeks for me, and I called you slut, and my good little girl.”

Scarlet’s eyes go wide, her whole face turns a hue of pink. I know I’m right before she says the words. This was a memory. This really happened. I did that to her… and she liked it.

“It’s true. You did that… we did that,” she tells me shyly.

“And you enjoyed it very much,” I point out, still shocked by the revelation.

“Did you not?” Scarlet questions.

“I did.” Fuck me, I did. It was so fucking hot having her ass wrapped around my cock. Squeezing me so tightly. “I just didn’t expect you to like it that much.”

“Are you disappointed in me?”

Disappointed? “What?! No! Why would you say that?”

“Because you call me your angel and now you know that there is a depraved part of me that likes to be called names during sex.”

“Oh, Scarlet.” I sit up straight, bringing my hand up to cup her cheek. I look deep into her eyes when I speak the next words. “There is nothing you could say or do that would make me stop loving you or think badly of you in any way. I don’t care what you like in bed as long as you share it with me.”

Relief washes over her features before excitement takes hold of her. “Ren, do you realize what just happened? You remembered what you did as River. That’s a great step forward.”

“It is,” I agree, wishing I could access those memories as I please. Especially the explicit ones. “What time is it?”

Scarlet checks her phone on the nightstand. “Seven in the morning.”

“I don’t think I can go back to sleep now. I’m going to head in the shower.”

“I’ll join you!” Scarlet gets up from the bed eagerly, heading straight for the attached bathroom. I follow close behind, watching her remove the shirt and panties she is wearing until she is completely bare to me.

My cock roars to life. Even though I came inside her mouth just a few hours ago, I’m ready to devour her all over again. I peel my shorts off and turn on the hot water in my shower. Not waiting till it gets warm, I step under the cold spray to cool off. The icy water hits my heated skin, and my dick immediately deflates.

“I don’t know how you stand cold showers, I’d die,” Scarlet says, rubbing her hands over her arms to warm up.

“You get used to it.” I grin at her. “It’s getting warm now, you can come in without freezing to death.”

“Thank god!” Scarlet slips under the shower, her silky skin brushing against mine in the process. I stifle a moan. I never get over the effect this woman has on me. One touch is all it takes for me to want her all over again.

She starts to wash her hair, and I get a soapy washcloth and wash the rest of her body. When I’m done with her, we switch. Now she is washing me, and I thoroughly enjoy every second of it.

“If I didn’t have an appointment with Dr. Stone, I would fuck you against this wall right now.”

“Maybe we need another shower later then,” Scarlet teases.

“Not maybe, definitely.” I give her a little slap on the ass, making her squeal in surprise before she breaks out giggling, a sound that warms my chest.

Once we’re both clean from top to bottom, we get out of the shower and dry off. I wrap Scarlet in a white fluffy towel, loving the way she lets me take care of her. After we’re dry, I get dressed, while Scarlet blow dries her hair in the bathroom.

Again, a sense of normality hits me. This is my life now, I realize. I have everything I ever wanted. Scarlet and my family by my side, and Rebecca dead. I just wish I could let New Haven go. I know I have to. It’s the only way I can keep the rest.

I check the time on the clock next to my bed. “The doctor will be here any minute now,” I yell into the bathroom.

Scarlet rushes out to get dressed, and I can’t help watching every move she makes. No matter what she does, she looks beautiful and irresistible. She puts her uncombed hair into a messy bun and slips her sneakers on her feet.

“Ready,” she announces.

Together, we walk downstairs, where Dr. Stone is already ringing the doorbell. “Perfect timing,” I point out.

Scarlet rushes to the door to let the doctor in. “Hello, Scarlet. Hello, Ren?” She says my name as a question.

“Yes, it’s me today,” I confirm, making her smile and nod. I can’t help but wonder if she would have the same expression for River. Shaking the thought away, I walk the doctor and Scarlet over to the sitting area we have been conducting our sessions the last few times. Dr. Stone sits down on a single chair, getting out her notebook and pencil while Scar and I take one of the couches.

Most times, it is just Dr. Stone and me, but sometimes, Scarlet likes to sit in, which we all agree is not a bad thing. She needs to know everything I know since she has to deal with me.

“How have you been, Ren?”

“Great, I had a dream today… but it was really a memory—River’s memory, Scarlet confirmed.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful, Ren. That’s exactly what we have been working toward. You and River need to mentally connect so you can live in harmony. What was the memory about?”

I clear my throat, moving my gaze from the doctor to Scarlet. Only when Scar gives me a tiny nod, do I talk. “It was a memory of me as River having sex with Scarlet.”

If Dr. Stone is shocked, she doesn’t let it show. “And how did that make you feel?”

I take a few seconds to think about it before I answer. “Relieved, and maybe a little content. Before, it was hard for me to wrap my mind around not remembering. It felt like River was a different person, but now that I’ve had this memory come back, it’s different. Now I know it was still me.”

“Excellent. That is very good progress, Ren. Much faster than other patients I’ve worked with. You should be proud of yourself and all the work you have put in.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

“Does that mean this will happen more often now? Ren remembering, I mean?” Scarlet asks.

“Hopefully, yes. This is definitely a good start.” Dr. Stone turns to me. “If you are up for it, I would like to try a little exercise today that might help you to connect with River more.”

“I’m up for anything,” I say with confidence.

“All right, for this exercise, I need you to lie down and get comfortable.”

“Okay.” I nod and kick off my shoes. Shifting my body, I lie down on the couch and prop my head on Scarlet’ lap. “I’m comfortable.”

“Close your eyes and take a few calming breaths,” Dr. Stone says before coaching me through some breathing exercises. At the end of it, I feel more than relaxed, almost lightheaded. My mind has drifted to a calming place of darkness.

“Now I want you to imagine a red door in front of you. Do you see it?”

I do what she asks and imagine a red door appearing in my mind. “Yes, I see it.”

“I want you to reach for it, grab the doorknob, and turn it. Open the door and behind the door you see River.”

Again, I do as she asks. I reach for the doorknob and open the door, pushing it open until I see River on the other side. I used to see him in my head all the time, hallucinating, FaceTime, timing and talking on the phone, but since the doctor started me on medication, those hallucinations have become nonexciting.

“Do you see him?” The doctor questions.

“Yes.”

“Good. Now tell him what you would usually write in your notebook. Tell him how you feel and what you want him to do.”

“I just want him to be happy, or at least content with what we accomplished. Rebecca is dead and so is her son. We’re alive and have been forgiven by the people who we love the most. That needs to be enough.”

It will never be enough. River tells me in my mind.

“It has to be,” I add. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make you understand.” Because that’s the only chance I have for a happy ending.

If ads affect your reading experience, click here to remove ads on this page.