17. Gabriela
Chapter 17
Gabriela
“I told you to lose our number!” I shout into the phone, pushing the screen door open to head out into the backyard so Mireya doesn’t get woken up from her nap on the couch.
“Gabriela , please. You don’t understand how hard you’re going to struggle. I am trying to give you some fatherly, adult advice.” My father huffs on the other end of the line, and all I want to do is laugh in his face. He now wants to give me fatherly advice.
“ Vete a la chingada! (Go fuck yourself!) I hit the end call button and resist the urge to throw my phone across the yard. My ass finds the bottom step of the stairs as I drop down, and rest my head in my hands. I cry, as silently as I possibly can to not worry our neighbor, I let it all out.
I’m scared I’m going to fuck it all up. That I’m going to fail at being a mother to my sister. To be all alone in all of this is terrifying and so unfair.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. This moment of vulnerability is overwhelming, but I know I can’t let it consume me. Mireya is counting on me, and I won’t let her down.
As I wipe away my tears, I remind myself of the strength I have within. I’ve always been independent, and now is no different. I refuse to let fear paralyze me. We will face the challenges ahead head-on. Standing up from the bottom step, I get myself together and make my way back inside. Mireya is still peacefully sleeping on the couch, unaware of the turmoil that has just unfolded. I silently promise her I will be the best mother figure I can be, no matter how tough it gets.
With newfound strength, I wipe away the last traces of tears from my cheeks. It won’t be easy, but I’m ready to face the challenges that lie ahead. I will prove to myself and everyone else that I am capable of being a loving and responsible mother figure.
Glancing at Mireya, a sense of hope washes over me. She is my motivation, my reason to keep pushing forward. Together, we will create a life filled with love, happiness, and stability. Whether it is just she and I or if one day someone else joins us, we will make it.
* * *
“Water,” Mireya pulls me by the hand toward the ocean, excited and ready to play. The joy she exudes is everything I could ever need. Her happiness is what matters most in all of this. I will gladly work myself into the dirt to make sure she has everything and every opportunity in life.
After this morning’s phone call, I knew we needed something fun to reset and salvage the rest of the day. So I called Nat and Cora and told them to meet us at the beach, and they were all too happy to join us. They’ve been packing so they can be ready to move to the dorms at the college campus and said they could use the distraction. Unlike them, I’ll be commuting to campus daily. But I can’t say that I’ll really mind too much. It’s going to save me a good bit of money.
“Let’s put our stuff down first, Reya. Then I’ll take you in the water, okay?” I look over my shoulder to see my best friends struggle to carry a cooler, towels, and an umbrella. “Reya, I’m going to put you down so I can help Tia’s, okay? Stay right here.”
Setting Mireya down in the sand, I turn and walk toward my friends. “Looks like we’ll have company.” Cora nods off to her right, and I follow, seeing the one person I didn’t need to see today. Joaquín, Thiago, and Nathan are kicking around a soccer ball a few feet away from us. Joaquín is in a pair of black swimming trunks, no shirt and his tanned tattooed back and chest glisten with sweat.
It’s unfair that he’s so hot. It makes hating him really hard. Taking the cooler from Cora, I roll my eyes. I hope he doesn’t try to start shit while we’re here.
“Reya! Stop!” Natalie screams as I spin around and I drop the cooler taking off after her. Mireya is sprinting towards the shoreline, not knowing the danger she’s in. The voices of Cora and Natalie behind me fade in and out, battling the sound of my heart thumping in my ears, fearful with every step my feet take in the sand. In my peripheral vision, I see a body fly past me. Joaquín’s sprinting at full speed toward the water, shouting at Mireya to stop.
“Reya, Princesa , detente! (Princess, stop!)” I watch as if everything is in slow motion as he scoops my sister up in his toned arms, cradling her to his chest, protecting her just as the wave comes to crash against the sand. If he wouldn’t have gotten to her in time the wave would have carried her out.
Mireya giggles in Joaquín’s arms as the wave splashes against them, drenching them both. Relief washes over me as I reach them, panting and out of breath. “Thank you,” I manage to choke out the words. “Reya, I told you to stay right there! You can’t run off!” My sister ignores me, and instead wraps her arms around Joaquín’s neck, resting her cheek against his strong shoulder. I’m lost for words as I look him up and down, holding my little sister in his arms. It stirs something deep in my stomach.
He’s a natural with her and he looks so sexy holding her. Protecting her.
Wake up, Gabby! He hates you!
For a split second, I’m a little jealous of my sister. She is touching him, and he isn’t saying mean things to her. He holds her with such tender care, and I wish he would hold me like that. I wish he would care about me the way he cares about her.
Okay, more than a split second.
Joaquín gives me a cold look, staring at me with eyes that resemble the darkest honey. “This is twice now that she’s taken off, and I’ve had to save her. Do you just never pay attention to her? I mean, for fuck’s sake, Gabriela. Can she even swim?” He snaps at me in his deep, now hoarse voice.
Shame fills me as I take Mireya from his arms, and then I notice Thiago and Nathan approaching us from the side. Thiago smirks and says, “Looks like little Mireya here wanted to go for an unexpected swim.” He tickles her which pulls another smile from her.
Nathan nudges Joaquín. “Come on, man. Let’s get back to our game—leave the puta alone. The little one’s safe now—that’s what matters.”
“Watch your mouth,” he snaps at Nathan, turning to shield Mireya from him. Wide-eyed Nathan takes a step back mumbling under his breath.
Cora and Natalie finally catch up to us, their faces filled with worry. “Is she okay?” Natalie asks, out of breath.
I give a reassuring smile and squeeze Mireya’s hand. “She just got a little too excited and ran towards the water. Joaquín was able to get to her in time to save her.”
Cora stares at Joaquín, her eyes squinting from the direct sunlight . “Funny, I didn’t think you’d care, Joaquín. Seeing as though Mireya is Gabby’s sister. You’d think you hate her too.”
Joaquín gives her a hard stare, gritting his teeth he responds. “She’s just a little kid—it's not like she could have done anything.”
“Kind of like Gabby not being able to do anything about it being her father.” Cora sneers, rolling her eyes at him.
Joaquín’s expression darkens; his jaw clenches. “You don’t fucking know anything,” he growls, moving closer to Mireya and me. Almost in a protective stance. Why would he feel the need to do that? It’s only Cora.
And he hates me.
Why would he feel the need to step in front of me? She wasn’t threatening me or anything like that.
Cora takes a step toward him, narrowing her eyes at him. “Why don’t you get away from my best friend before you do something stupid like hurt her and her sister?”
Joaquín takes a deep breath, visibly calming himself down. “Just watch the kid,” he turns to face me. “I’d hate for you to fuck up again, and she seriously gets hurt, and I’m not around to save her.”
I nod in agreement, tears already brimming in my eyes. Joaquín walks away with his friends, and we all gather our belongings and head back to where we were going to set up. I can’t help but feel immense gratitude towards Joaquín. Gratitude for saving my sister, but I also feel so much shame.
“I am fucking this up.” I let the tears flow and squeezed Mireya tighter to my chest. “Why does this have to be so fucking hard?”
“No, you’re not!” Cora grabs my arm and pulls me into a hug. “You are doing the best you can. Fuck what he said, you’re doing what most eighteen year olds could never handle. I know I couldn’t. Raising your sister, running a household and busting your ass doing it. Seriously, fuck him.”
The tension can still be felt in the air, and I sneak a look over at Joaquín. Mireya waves to him from my arms, and he gives her a smile and waves back. It’s when she turns her head to say something to Nat that he locks eyes with me and flips me off.
Things will never change between us. It’s always going to be my fault. He’s never going to look at me and feel the same things I feel.
Please, let me stop wanting him because all it’s going to do is break my heart.