Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Satan: Why are most of the doors sealed?
She-Devil: What?
Satan: Most of the doors in the penthouse are sealed. We only have access to two rooms, Bentley’s and what Duncan called our bedroom. I can’t live under these conditions.
She-Devil: Are you in the right place?
Satan: Yep. Duncan the creepy butler welcomed me. I can’t believe he’s still working for you.
She-Devil: He’s working for my grandmother.
Satan: I could claim that’s impossible since she’s dead but by the way he looks, I wouldn’t doubt he serves her in the underworld too.
She-Devil: Are you taunting poor Duncan?
Satan: No, I was pretty cordial with him—until I saw that I’ll need a sleeping bag to make this living arrangement manageable.
She-Devil: You’re wrong, I was there and . . . Are you sure?
Satan: Pretty sure. Sending pictures of the sealed doors . . . Who did this?
She-Devil: Probably Percy, the lawyer. He said he’d make sure everything was set the way my grandmother wanted.
Satan: Fucker. What are we supposed to do now?
She-Devil: Check the will to see if this is legal.
Satan: We can move to my place in San Diego . . . that should cut it, right?
She-Devil: Doubtful, but we can try.
Satan: You’re not going to fight me? I recall you didn’t want to leave New York.
She-Devil: I didn’t want to leave Grandma, it was a difficult time for her—or so I thought. I’m willing to move hoping your place has more than one room and we can just ignore each other for six months.
Satan: Nope, only one room, but you can sleep on the couch.
She-Devil: What, you’re not going to offer me the bed?
Satan: Nope. You should be thankful I’m kind enough to bring you with me.
She-Devil: Like Percy would allow you to leave me behind.
Satan: Okay, here is the plan. I destroy this place and we’ll have to go somewhere else.
She-Devil: Where?
Satan: I’m sure we can find a livable apartment. Can you trust me?
She-Devil: Nope.
Satan: We have to work together.
She-Devil: How do I know this isn’t a trick?
Satan: It’s not. I really don’t want to live here.
She-Devil: What is wrong with it?
Satan: Other than your grandmother’s bad vibes? The doors are sealed, and I just found two cameras . . . Are they expecting to watch us?
She-Devil: I hope not, that’d be creepy. Send me pictures of the cameras. Maybe they were always there and I’ve never noticed them.
Satan: I’ll keep looking around and see what else I find. My lawyer says we have to live here no matter what.
She-Devil: I saw the pictures and those cameras are new.
Satan: Okay, I’m calling my team. They want war . . . we’ll give them one. All the doors will be gone by the time you’re here. The cameras will feed to a porn channel. They want to see something. I’ll make sure they see what I want them to see.
She-Devil: Huh, I never thought we’d agree on something. Please let me know if I can help.
Satan: I will. See you later today.