Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
~LEXI~
I knock on Luke’s office doorjamb and then wince when I see that I’ve just interrupted him kissing the hell out of his gorgeous wife.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt.”
“Oh, please don’t worry about it,” Natalie says with a smile.
“Come in, Lexi. You remember my wife, Natalie?”
“Of course, it’s good to see you,” I say as Natalie pulls me in for a friendly hug. “How have you been?”
“I have no complaints at all,” the other woman says with a wink. “And I have to tell you, you look freaking amazing. Whatever you’ve been doing in Minnesota is clearly healthy.”
“Thanks.” I smile shyly. I’ve come a long way in the confidence department in the past three months, but I’m still shy around strangers. That’s just who I am, and I’m okay with that.
“I know you’re heading into a meeting, so I’ll go. I’m meeting Jules for a late lunch and a little shopping.” Natalie grins at her husband. “Don’t worry, I won’t go crazy.”
“Go as crazy as you like,” Luke says. “You’ve earned it and more. Love you.”
“Love you, too.” She turns her friendly smile to me. “It was good to see you again, Lexi.”
“You, too.” Natalie leaves, and I glance over at Luke, who’s watching the door with a lovesick look on his ridiculously handsome face. “She’s pretty great.”
“You have no idea,” he replies before straightening his tie. “We can go to the conference room. I hope your trip was good?”
“A bit of a bumpy landing in Seattle, but not horrible.”
“It’s always bumpy landing here,” he says. “And thanks for coming in. I know it seems silly to bring you all the way to Seattle for an afternoon meeting, but I like to have everyone here together, rather than try to discuss things in a Zoom meeting. I feel like things get lost in translation, and you can’t always depend on internet connections.”
I smile as he stops at the kitchen to order a coffee. I join him, and he continues talking while we wait for our orders.
“It’s okay. I haven’t been on a trip since the last time I was here. I think I’ll spend a couple of days in the city, go to a museum, shop, that sort of thing.”
I’m not going to assume that I’ll spend time with Shawn. I know I’m going to see him today, and I’ve managed to keep my emotions in check. I haven’t heard from him in three months.
The man just isn’t interested.
But I can be professional, friendly, and get myself through the day without making an ass of myself. We can be coworkers.
That’s been my mantra since Luke’s email came in two weeks ago. At first, I was terrified. But I meditated, and once I was thinking clearly, I realized that Shawn and I are adults.
Everything will be fine.
When our coffees are ready, Luke leads me down the hall to the conference room that Shawn and I worked in when I first arrived here. It’s the same sterile space, and I’m grateful that I don’t have to work here regularly ever again.
I glance around the table, but I don’t see Shawn.
“Shawn’s late,” a woman says with a shrug.
“Pretty much a normal thing,” I reply and take my seat. The only empty spot is directly across from me, so I’ll have to stare at Shawn for the next couple of hours.
I take a deep breath, and just as I raise my coffee to my lips to take a sip, the door opens, and in walks the man that has haunted my dreams for three months.
Holy hell in a handbasket, he’s better-looking than I remember.
How is that even possible?
His green eyes scan the room and land on me. Then they darken, and he keeps his gaze focused on me as Luke greets him. He doesn’t even look away as he takes a seat across from me.
I’m the first to look down at the paper in front of me as scenes from our time together flash through my mind. Laughing and talking. The incredible sex. The days walking the beach, and our time at the cabin. Helping his family at the pub and spending time with his parents.
I still talk to his parents. Weekly, if I’m being honest. I adore them. Besides my time with my mother, the regular chats with Fiona and Tom are my favorite part of the week.
For a while, it helped me not miss Shawn so much. Now, they’re my friends.
I glance up to find him watching me calmly, his eyes not showing any emotion. Yeah, I’ve missed him, and I’d love nothing more than to climb over this table and have my way with him.
This is going to be a long meeting.
“Thanks again for coming all this way, Lexi,” Luke says, shaking my hand. “I think it was valuable, and this movie is going to be fantastic.”
“I agree,” I reply with a smile. “Thanks again for taking it on, Luke.”
“Thanks for writing a story we want to see on the screen,” he says with a wink before he walks out of the room. I see Shawn discussing something with Adam, the director, so I take the opportunity to duck out and quickly gather my things and walk down the hall to the elevators.
I’ve just walked out the front doors of the building when I hear his voice.
“Lexi.”
It’s the same tone from the airport. Firm and strong. I stop where I am, take a deep breath, and turn to find him standing ten feet away, his hands at his sides, waiting.
“Hey,” I say, not sure what the correct response is. “I saw you were busy, and I didn’t want to interrupt.”
He nods, but I can tell by the way he narrows his eyes that he doesn’t believe me.
I’ve always been a horrible liar.
“I’d like to take you to dinner.”
It’s not a question, but I know if I say no, he won’t push me. I am, however, hungry, and a girl has to eat.
“I just have to drop this stuff off at my hotel,” I reply. “Walk with me?”
His shoulders relax as he steps to me and takes my computer bag from me. “How are you, Lex?”
God, I’ve missed his voice, and that slight Irish accent.
“I’m doing really well. How are you?”
“I’m good,” he says with a nod. “I just got back from Ireland a few days ago.”
“You went to Ireland?”
I can’t believe that his parents never mentioned it in any of our calls.
“For about a month,” he confirms. My hotel is just down the block from Williams Films, so it doesn’t take long to get there. When we’re at my door, I unlock it and let him in. “This is a nice room.”
“Luke insisted on the suite, even though it’s just me here.” I gesture for him to set my bag on a chair. “But, yes, it’s nice. I’m just going to change out of this suit, if that’s okay. These shoes are killing me.”
“I’m not in a hurry,” he says.
I nod and walk into the closet where I’ve hung my clothes, retrieve a maroon lace top and black slacks, and quickly change. I slip my feet into black flats and join Shawn.
“There. That’s better.”
“Christ Jesus,” he mutters, rubbing his hand over his mouth.
“What’s wrong?” I glance in the mirror, worried that maybe the lace of my top is see-through, despite there being a liner under it. But it looks fine to me.
“First of all, I’m tired of the formality.” He crosses to me and pulls me in for a big hug. “I haven’t seen you in three months, and I missed this.”
“You did?” I ask against his chest.
“Yeah. I did. You look so great, angel.”
I smile at the second compliment of the day. “Thanks. Things are going well. I’ll tell you about it over dinner.”
“I can’t wait.”
“So, you’re taking dance classes, you’ve learned to speak French, and you’re going to run a marathon in December?”
“At Disney World,” I confirm. “I’ve been busy. I came out of my shell in Washington, and it felt too good to go back in when I got home. So, I made a list of things to do to keep myself busy and social. It’s been a lot of fun. I’m also writing more and enjoying the story. It’s almost finished. Have you been writing?”
“I wrote a screenplay while I was in Ireland,” he says. “And I’ve been helping out at the pub, spending time with family, that sort of thing.”
“I think that’s wonderful,” I say, total sincerity in my voice. “I’ve been spending more time with my mom, as well. We have a standing lunch date every couple of weeks, and sometimes we go shopping, too. It’s fun.”
“I’m glad,” he replies. We’ve made our way through dinner, and Shawn already paid the check. He hasn’t touched me since that hug in the hotel room. The conversation has been fluid and interesting.
But something is holding us back from truly reconnecting.
It’s the elephant in the room.
Am I going to invite him back to my hotel with me? Am I going to spend the night with him?
“I’ll walk you back,” he offers as we slide out of our seats and head out of the restaurant. It’s winter, which means it’s chilly since the sun has gone down. I shiver, and Shawn takes off his jacket and drapes it over my shoulders.
“Thanks.”
He reaches down and takes my hand, linking our fingers, and I feel the connection all the way to my toes.
He takes a deep breath, and I know how he feels because I feel the same thing.
Lust. Pure, unadulterated desire ricochets between us like crazy.
But it’s more than that. And if I choose to invite him in, I could be opening up a can of worms that I’ll spend months trying to close again.
When we reach my door, I unlock it and turn to him. He braces a hand on the doorframe and gently smiles down at me. His knuckles drift down my cheek, and that’s all it takes. There’s no way I can send him away now.
I want him too damn much.
“Do you want to come inside?” I ask. I hear the breathiness of my voice.
“Aye, I want to come in.”
I walk in ahead of him and drape his jacket over a chair. I hear the door snick closed behind me.
And when I turn, he’s there. This sexy-as-all-get-out, wonderful man whom I know so well. It’s been too long since I was with him, and this feels like a dream.
“How did you get better-looking?” I ask as my eyes sweep over his body from his messy, dark hair to his black shoes. “I think it should be illegal to get more attractive.”
He smirks. “Get over here.”
I cock a brow. “That’s right. You’re bossy.”
His lips twitch, and I cross to him. Why am I so damn nervous? I’ve been with this man dozens of times. The score then was the same as it is now.
No attachments.
Coworkers with benefits.
“Still not marrying you,” he murmurs, making me laugh and breaking the ice.
“No, certainly not.”
He reaches out to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear, and that’s all it takes. He descends on my mouth, kisses me with the fire of a thousand suns. The intense Shawn that I know is back, and all of his focus is on me.
It’s fucking amazing.
He lifts me easily and carries me to the bed.
“Shit, I’ll be right back.” He hurries over to his jacket and retrieves something out of the pocket, then returns to me and tosses several condoms onto the bedside table.
“Was I a sure thing, then?”
“Absolutely not,” he says with a laugh. “In fact, I was pretty sure that you’d be sending me on my way after dinner, but a man can hope, angel.”
The next kiss is long and slow. Thorough. Wet and all-consuming. He’s lazy about it, as if we have all the time in the world, and his only job is to memorize the shape of my mouth.
My hand drags down his back and grabs his ass. Shawn has a stellar ass.
He lazily kisses my neck. This is no frenzied quickie, and I’m glad because I want to memorize every moment, sigh, and sound.
I want this engrained on my brain for many years to come.
“I dreamed of you,” he says, his accent thicker with his arousal. He’s slow about getting me naked and has to pay close attention to each bit of skin he uncovers before moving on to the next. By the time I’m bare, I’m a writhing, panting mess of hormones.
And he’s still fully dressed.
“Take all of this off,” I demand as I pull at his shirt, but Shawn shakes his head no. “This works much better if we’re both naked, remember?”
“I remember everything,” he whispers. “I want to explore you first. I want to make you crazy.”
“Already there.”
He laughs and bites my side, just below my ribs. “Just lie back and enjoy, Lex.”
He parts my legs and nudges his broad shoulders between them. With his hands planted on my ass, his mouth descends on my most sensitive flesh, and he feasts on me.
Feasts. On. Me.
There’s just no other way to describe it. I’m a thrashing, moaning pile of goo as Shawn licks and nibbles, sucks and teases me into the kind of orgasm that leaves a person licking their lips and needing a drink.
Holy intense, Batman.
Before I can fully recover, he strips out of his clothes and reaches for a condom. I look my fill, taking in the olive skin, toned muscles, and the impressive size of him as he covers me, pins my hands above my head, and slowly sinks inside.
“Fuck.” He moans when he’s seated fully. “Jesus God, I missed you, Lex.”
I don’t have time to answer when he covers my mouth and begins to move, building us both up toward the ultimate goal, the incredible climax that I know is just beyond my reach.
He shifts to his side, rolling me with him, and with my leg hitched high on his hip, we stare into each other’s eyes. I feel desired. I feel full. Not just physically, but emotionally, as well.
My God, I’ve been telling myself for months that I’m not in love with Shawn O’Callaghan.
I lied.
I’m completely in love with him, and this is a relationship that can never happen for more reasons than I’m capable of even listing right now.
“Look at me,” he growls as he picks up the pace.
I comply and watch those shining green orbs until he can’t hold back any longer and loses himself to his climax.
I’m a coward.
A sneaky coward, but a chicken nonetheless.
I’ve managed to pack my suitcase and sneak out of the hotel room without waking Shawn. It shouldn’t surprise me, given that we had so much sex we finally collapsed in a sweaty heap. He fell asleep right away, and will likely be comatose for at least another few hours.
But I won’t be there when he wakes.
I hurry through the hotel’s lobby with my single small suitcase and see the rideshare I summoned pull up at the doors. I get in the backseat and take a long, slow breath.
Keep it together, Lexi.
The ride to the airport is relatively quick. And given that it’s barely four in the morning, the airport is pretty deserted.
I hurry to the ticket counter and smile at the attendant.
“Checking in?” he asks. I read Scott on his nametag.
“Actually, Scott, I need your help. I have an outgoing ticket to Minneapolis in two days, but I need to get home today. ”
“Oh, let’s see what we can do,” he says. I pass him my license, and he starts tapping on the keys, bringing up my name. “I have a ticket in first class available on a flight that leaves in forty-five minutes. Will that do?”
“That might be the most perfect thing you could have said to me.” I need to get out of Seattle.
Scott grins. “Unfortunately, I won’t be able to check your bag.”
“Can I carry it on?”
Scott looks at my suitcase. “Yes, it looks like it’ll fit. This is a larger plane. Just make sure you don’t have any prohibited items like liquids over three ounces and the like. Okay, Lexi, let me work a little magic, and we’ll get you on your way.”
It takes the wonderful Scott less than three minutes to get everything switched, and before long, I’m rushing through SeaTac to get to my gate in time.
They’re already boarding when I arrive. Because I’m first class, I am pushed through quickly, and then I’m in my seat.
When they close the boarding door, no one is seated next to me.
I’m all alone.
I manage to hold myself together until we’re in the air, and I watch Seattle disappear through the clouds.
Then, I cover my mouth with my hand and feel the tears well up. I don’t want to go, but I have no choice. Because being in love with Shawn O’Callaghan isn’t an option for me.
He lives in Seattle.
My life is in Minneapolis.
It can never work. Any relationship with him would only lead to heartbreak.
I feel more tears fall on my cheeks.
Too late. We’re already at heartbreak. I can’t do this. I can’t love someone so much, someone so wonderful, knowing that he can never be mine.
It’s not fair to me.
It’s definitely not fair to him, either. I changed the rules. I’m the one who suddenly can’t handle a coworkers-with-benefits situation.
Not him. He didn’t do anything wrong.
But I feel like we’re both being punished.
“Are you okay, Ms. Perry?”
I glance up at the first-class flight attendant.
“No. But I will be.”