Chapter 21
Sabastian
I shot a glare at Collin, even though there wasn’t much heat behind it.
I told him to not give the boy meds, yet the stupid fucker didn’t listen. It didn’t matter that Oakley nearly passed out from not breathing.
“You know there was no other option,” he huffed, taking a seat back on the couch.
“Next time you touch what’s mine-“
“What? You’ll shoot me? I’m not scared of you Sabastian. Your threats are nothing to me. You won’t do a goddamn thing.”
Just because he was right didn’t mean I would admit that.
“But I’m glad you’re keeping him. That boy needs someone like you.”
I wasn’t sure how much more I could take of his tears, though. The poor thing was broken in a way I wasn’t sure I could fix. Still, I held him tightly to my chest, arms wrapped around him.
His fight was gone, breathing even, although he still cried. He wasn’t aware of a single thing that was going on around him, and I hated seeing him like this.
I wanted to help him, but how? How could I possibly understand half of what went through his head? How was I to get through to him so he knew that he was safe here?
“Oh, here. Grabbed this while I was upstairs.” Collin stood, passing me the pacifier.
I dipped my chin, taking it. At least Oakley hadn’t bitten into his own skin this time. He did try to scratch himself, and I had been quick to pin his arms between us, not letting him hurt himself.
“There hasn’t been too many reposts of the alert to take him out for a few days,” he went on. “Although I wouldn’t take him out and about just yet.”
I didn’t have any plans to. Not when he panicked over such little things.
“Once the injection is out of his system, he needs other meds. Daily. Or this will become a habit that isn’t needed.”
What habit? The one where he would willingly be in my lap, or the one where he broke down over whatever he was terrified of?
Either way, I’d take the good old doc’s recommendation and get this boy some sort of help.
“In time, he’ll open up, hopefully.”
“I thought I made some sort of progress today.” I really had. Even after a restless night of sleep for the boy, he seemed more aware of what was going on. He didn’t blanch at the idea of Collin coming by.
Heck, the boy even picked out his own clothes. I hadn’t forgotten the fact that he put on one of my shirts, and I wouldn’t bring it up to him either. I wanted the boy to be comfortable here, in my lap preferably. But I’d take whatever he’d give.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone so far gone like him,” Collin mused.
“Tormented by his thoughts alone, I mean. I’ve seen and visited several victims, mostly to get info on who else I can help track down if they have friends or family that were left in the hands of men.
A lot of them were hurt in so many ways, but I think whatever Donny did was worse than any sex trafficker.
“The boy's blood test came back, and he’s been drugged, more than once is my guess. Which could explain some of the things he’s responding to. Monsters, whatever that is to him, is most likely something Donny forced on him. But it could be possible it’s real people, too, who tormented him.”
“He doesn’t seem to have withdrawals,” I didn’t think so anyway.
“That’s good. That’d be easier to deal with than these attacks, but either way, I don’t need to tell you to be there for him. Set boundaries, don’t sugarcoat things, and support his healing. It’ll be a long road to recovery.”
***
Some days just didn’t go as planned.
I had planned to run to the store to buy Oakley more clothes, a new bedding set and maybe some books, but that wasn’t happening now.
Instead, after Collin left, I was sort of trapped on the couch with a very sleepy, clingy boy.
Thankfully, Collin had only given him half a dose of the injection, which was more than enough to settle the boy on my lap. Oakley had taken a small nap, but anytime I moved or tried to get him off my lap, he’d whimper and cling harder.
Not that I was going to complain.
We went from me not able to touch him, to him holding on to me like a lifeline.
It probably wasn’t healthy, but what did I care? Oakley wanted me, and I was going to soak up every minute. Tomorrow, he could easily go back to wanting nothing of me.
I wished I could take away his darkness. I didn’t want Oakley to suffer, but I wasn’t sure how to fix him. What if he wasn’t fixable? What if he’d bounce between being a little, to being a panicked adult, for the rest of his life? Could I handle that?
No, but I’d have to. It didn’t matter what his mental state would be. I was keeping him. I’d show him that I cared. I’d give him every part of me. And I’d expect nothing in return.
Shifting again, my back aching from sitting against the arm of the couch, Oakley whimpered, pressing into me. I wasn’t sure how much closer he could get if I was honest.
His face was pressed into my neck, preventing me from slipping the pacifier into his mouth. I did have his hands pinned still, so he wasn’t able to suck on his already sore thumb. And I think that was part of his problem.
He needed something in his mouth, but he refused to move enough so I could solve that problem. So instead, I gritted my teeth and dealt with the arm of the couch digging into my lower back.
Actually, no. I didn’t have to suffer.
Awkwardly figuring out how to stand, Oakley’s whimper was a half sob, as I moved.
I didn’t bother to try to hush him. It’d just fall on deaf ears.
When I was standing, I cursed his skirt.
It prevented me from getting him to wrap his legs around me.
So, instead, I slipped a hand under both legs, holding him that way.
Carefully going up the stairs, I made it to the bedroom without tripping or running into anything. Deciding that it’d be best to try to get the boy to go pee, I went straight to the bathroom.
It took even more maneuvering to get Oakley to stand long enough for me to get his skirt off, and get him to sit on the toilet. All the while, he had to touch me, seeking me out in any way he possibly could.
Not that I minded, just, not exactly a thing I enjoyed while I tried to coax him to pee.
The thought of putting a diaper on him was there since I did have a few on hand. But brushed it off just as quickly. That would be anyone’s hard limit, and the boy should be aware of what was happening before then.
“Walk, honey,” I helped him to stand, needing to pee myself before I was stuck in the bed for who knows how long. He whimpered, pressing against my side. “I have to pee, pretty boy.”
He nodded but didn’t move, other than to breathe.
I sighed through my nose, looking up at the ceiling for answers that I couldn’t find.
“Please?” I asked. “Walk to the bed. I’ll be there in just a minute.”
Finally, after another full minute, Oakley stepped away. A quiet sob was lodged in his throat, and I would have pulled him back to me if I didn’t have to pee so freaking badly.
I used the bathroom as quickly as I could, took off my snot-covered shirt, and crawled into bed after making sure I still had the boy’s pacifier.
I didn’t get much time to settle before Oakley was in my lap once more, his bare butt against my sleep pants I had yet to change out of. My shirt on him at least covered his front bits, and I made a mental note that he needed shorts or something if he wanted to keep wearing my clothes.
“I’m right here, little one.” I wrapped him back up in my arms, letting him settle against my chest. His legs ended up wrapping around my hips, holding me tightly, as if I’d disappear. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
“Monster’s want me.” He whimpered, rubbing his nose against my chest.
“I won’t let them have you. You’re mine.” I pressed a kiss to his temple. “You’re my boy. My little Oakley.”
“Promise?”
“Promise, sweetheart.”
Could I press for more information on those monsters he talked about? Would he tell me? Or would it be too much?
“They hurt.”
“Not anymore.” I squeezed him to me tighter.
So softly, as if he was fed up with them, fed up with himself, Oakley began to talk. I had to strain to hear his voice over the rush of fear and anger that swam to the surface at his words.
“Donny liked them. He called them to me. Said I was bad and deserved their cold fingers. They left burns….” It seemed like he wanted to say something else, but held back.
“They scare me. Please, make them leave me alone. They hide in the dark; they hide outside, waiting for me to come out. They call me, and taunt me, and…and…”
“No more, little one. Da-I got you. I promise they can’t get to you ever again. When they try, you come to me and I’ll scare them off. No matter what time of day or night.”
Were the monsters part of the things Donny did to him? Was Oakley drugged, forced to endure things that were made to be what a monster would do, so Donny didn’t have to be truthful about how much of a monster he was?
“Donny’s dead, so he can’t control those monsters anymore. He can’t make them come get you.”
At that, Oakley settled, like everything was taken care of. To me, it wasn’t, but I sure hope to him, it was. I hoped beyond anything, his nightmares would cease, and he’d finally start to heal, start to accept a life I could supply him.
I jerked, startled, when Oakley’s lips found a nipple, pulling it into his mouth and sucking.
It tickled and took me a moment to regain my sanity. Instead of pulling him away, giving him the option of a pacifier instead of me, I put a hand on his head, holding him to me.