Chapter 23
Oakley
The next few days, things seemed to settle for the most part.
Sabastian left me unchained, and that would continue as long as I didn’t try something stupid, his words, not mine. I wasn’t sure what would count as stupid to him, but so far nothing I had done fell into that category. Since I still got to roam freely inside the house.
I didn’t do any snooping in any of the rooms. I didn’t dig through things that didn’t belong to me. I wasn’t going to test his boundaries, preferring the small bit of grace I was getting.
Who knows how long it’d last, and I wanted to keep it for as long as I possibly could.
The one room, other than where I’d been sleeping, that I felt comfortable enough to venture into was the one right across the hallway.
Sabastian did leave that door open, and I wasn’t entirely sure if that was on purpose or not.
But either way, as the days passed, I found myself drawn to that room a bit more each time.
The once green bedding was now a dark blue. A soft blue blanket lay across the bottom corner, touching the floor. The black bean bag that I had hidden under now sat at the end of the bed, almost in a corner.
But the one thing that drew my attention each time I entered the room, was the stuffed animal that sat in the middle of the bed, right up against the pillows.
I didn’t dare touch it, although I so desperately wanted to. My hands ached with the need to touch, to hold, the stuffed animal.
It was a simple white bunny rabbit with long ears. It looked soft and squishable, and it took everything in me not to grab it.
Somehow, during the day, I found myself sitting on the floor cross-legged, staring at the creature, wondering why it had to be there. I knew I could touch it, take it into my hold, but I feared that once I did, I wouldn’t be able to put it back.
It was bad enough that I had yet to return the two books. They were still behind the dresser. I didn’t want to put them back, knowing someone was watching, and I wanted a bit more time to read through them.
They were strange, yet held a sort of information in them that I never knew existed. I also wondered, for the millionth time, why Sabastian didn’t want me to read them.
There wasn’t sex in them. Just explanations on what Littles were, and Middles. And Subs. And the other one talked about Dom’s, Daddys and rules.
Lists of questions, and thoughts throughout the entire two books.
I had to wonder if Sabastian was into that kind of stuff. Why else would he have the books, along with the ones that were on the shelf, if he weren’t?
Forcing myself away from the bed, and in turn the stuffed animal, I made my way back to the main bedroom. Right back in my corner, huddled against the two walls.
Sabastian had put a pillow and throw blanket there for me a few days ago, so I didn’t have to drag the bigger blanket off the bed each time.
It was a place where I felt safe when I was all alone in the house. Heck, even the monsters from outside hadn’t tried to come and drag me away. Maybe that tiny white pill that the man had me take each night before bed kept them away.
Whatever the case, I wasn’t going to worry. It was better when the monsters out there didn’t want me.
Knowing I was still alone, and would be for another few hours, I pulled out of the books from behind the dresser.
Just one more time, I told myself as I opened the cover, my eyes glancing over the cover, before letting my eyes take in all the words another time.
***
The sun was just starting to set when I heard the front door close. Thankfully, I already had the books rehidden in their spot and pretended to be reading the book that I was allowed to read.
I wasn’t making it very far into the book, since I wasn’t exactly trying to. It only held my interest with Sabastian reading to me.
Pulling myself from the floor, I froze where I stood as he walked into the room.
The leather jacket he had worn this morning was tossed onto the top of the dresser, but his shirt was covered in blood.
“I’m not hurt, little one.” His voice sounded tired, yet his eyes were hard as he looked at me. “Let me get cleaned up and then I’ll figure out dinner.”
All I could do was nod, eyes pinned to the blooded shirt. My eyes didn’t leave him until he was in the bathroom, door shut tightly.
What the heck did he do? Kill a man?
It was better if I didn’t know.
My heart still hadn’t settled by the time Sabastian came from the bathroom, steam billowing out as the door opened.
My eyes quickly looked him up and down, and there were no marks, no more blood, on any part of his skin. The towel around his hips was loose, and one hand held it up.
I kept my spot on the bed, watching for any sign that he could be hurt.
Over the last month, I think that’s how long I’d been here, he hadn’t come home looking like that. Maybe a bit dirty, grease stains here and there on his pants. But never covered in blood.
“All clean,” he shot me a smile, slipping a shirt on over his head. “How was your day?”
“Okay.” Boring, but that was normal. No monsters. No one was here to yell at me or hurt me.
I was starting to get used to that. Not have to worry about when Sir was going to walk into the room and start throwing words or punches, and other things, at me for just breathing.
Here with Sabastian, it had been calm. I got food and comfort, which I never thought I’d be able to have.
I still wasn’t the most talkative, and most of my answers to Sabastian were pulled from my lips unwillingly.
My thoughts didn’t matter.
I obeyed every command, every hint, that Sabastian gave. I did what I knew best to stay good. And that got me his touches and smiles like I was good. Although, deep down, I knew I wasn’t.
“You weren’t pacing in here as much today,” he mused, cupping the side of my face when he was close enough.
I leaned into his touch, never tiring of the warmth he gave me. My eyes slipped closed, knowing his touch would disappear soon enough.
But no, I didn’t pace as much, which meant he was watching me still. Which, really wasn’t that surprising.
Was he waiting for me to return the books so he could catch me in the act?
“You can walk around the house, you know. Watch TV, too.”
I nodded the slightest bit. Just because he said I could didn’t mean I was going to.
“Alright, well, dinner, then.”
At the mention of food, my stomach growled. I wasn’t sure if I ate lunch, most of the time I forgot I could eat.
“Yeah, food, little one. I have a feeling you didn’t eat lunch. Or any snacks.”
I shook my head, instantly missing his touch when he pulled away.
“You need to eat more during the day,” he told me. “That’s a new rule. You must eat lunch.”
What if I didn’t? I thought, but instead of asking, he took ahold of my hand and led me to the kitchen.
Like lately, since he had been coming home a bit later, I sat on the island. Here, I could watch him move around, trying and failing to remember how he made different dishes.
The only thing a bit different this time, was that he wasn’t as talkative about his day. Normally, or what I’d come to know as normal, Sabastian didn’t shy away from telling me tales of his brothers, who he saw daily. Or stories about people he worked with at the auto shop.
I found his stories fascinating, funny, even. Although, I didn’t ever laugh. I wasn’t sure I was capable of that. Least of all being happy.
I was, at least, content. There wasn’t anything I could ask for besides that.
“Sorry, Oakley,” he yawned, stirring the food in the pot. “It was a long day. So how about you tell me what you did instead? Did you read?”
“Some.”
“What do you think about that book??
“You read it better.” It was true. I preferred his voice over the one in my head.
Sabastian laughed, a low in his chest, kind of laugh. It made its eyes crinkle at the corners.
“I guess I’ll have to read it to you more often, then.”
Really?
He shook his head lightly at whatever expression I had made.
“You are adorable. Did you know that?”
At that comment, I ducked my head, cheeks heating. I was anything but that.
“Sweet, too.”
That didn’t help the heated cheeks, which I was glad my hair covered my face.
As Sabastian passed, taking the pan of whatever it was to the table, he paused to press a kiss to the top of my head.