20. Pez
Pez
“Do you like your nuggets, Pixie?” I ask. We’re having dinner at a diner just down from the spot where I’m hoping Daphne puts her bakery.
“Nuggies,” she corrects, but she doesn’t look up.
She seems pensive. I look at Sabre and he just shrugs.
Apparently, he has no idea what’s wrong.
Daphne frowns and watches her daughter closely.
I can see the concern in her eyes and I’m suddenly afraid all of my careful planning with Sabre is falling apart.
If Cammie isn’t happy here, there’s no way that Daphne will agree to move closer.
I mean, if she hears my past and still agrees to a relationship with me, I can always commute to the clubhouse.
It will be harder to make sure she’s safe though.
I don’t think Dane would do anything stupid, but you never know.
I don’t like being away from them. If something did happen, it would take too long to be by her and Cammie’s side. That doesn’t sit well with me at all.
“Cammie, sweetheart? What’s wrong?” Daphne asks, looking over at her daughter. Sabre is beside her and he keeps moving his hand up and down on her head, and I can tell he feels as useless as I do.
“Mama, if we move, what will happen to Nana Cory?”
I see Daphne grow stiff. This is obviously a reaction from Cammie that even she didn’t expect. I frown and see Sabre doing the same thing. She rubs her forehead with her fingers as she tries to find a way to approach the topic with her daughter.
“Sweetheart, we talked about this. Even if we stayed in the area, you and I would still need to move,” she said quietly.
Cammie looks up at her with tears in her eyes.
“She’ll get lonely. Nana says I’m the only one who can make her happy, Mama.
I don’t want to make her sad,” Cammie says quietly, and her tears start falling.
I’m not sure anything can hurt more than seeing a child cry, but not sob, just having the tears slowly fall cause she’s just that sad.
“We’d still come back to visit her. I love her as much as you do,” Daphne says, and shit, I can kind of feel her sadness too. Why didn’t I realize that Daphne and Cammie probably had deep ties not only in their town, but with that asshole’s family.
“Can’t you visit Nana when you see your dad?” I ask, and the question physically hurts me. I don’t want Dane to have visitation with Cammie—even though I know there’s not much I can do about it.
Daphne turns to look at me. “She’s not talking about Dane’s mother. She doesn’t really have a relationship with them. They live in Fredericksburg, Virginia, and travel a lot. Dane’s father is a former Supreme Judge.”
Christ. These are the type of people that Daphne is used to being around. There’s no way she will ever understand my past …
“Eli?” she says softly, getting my attention.
I force myself to look at her. I’m not sure how she knows, or what she sees on my face, but she reaches out and touches my face gently.
It’s softer than any touch I’ve ever known.
“Don’t do that. That’s not the life I ever wanted.
There’s a reason my daughter barely knows those people.
” I nod, feeling a little helpless and it’s an emotion that I haven’t felt since I was a teen—and it’s not one I like.
She squeezes my hand under the table. I know she’s being careful because of Cammie, but I’m finding more and more that I don’t want to be a secret from Cammie or anyone. I want her to lay her claim on me.
“So, who is this Nana Cory then? Would she think about moving?” Sabre asks, facing the problem analytically. Apparently, when Daphne is involved, that’s not my strong suit.
“Dad you can’t move half of Manchester just because your granddaughter is unhappy,” Daphne chastises with a laugh.
“She could wiv with us!” Cammie interjects, making me smile as she uses w’s instead of l’s when she talks.
“If it makes my granddaughter happy, I don’t see why I couldn’t. Besides the club just bought an apartment complex. I’m sure there’s an empty unit. It’d be close to the bakery.”
“Why did the club buy a bunch of apartments?” Daphne asks, scrunching her nose up.
“King convinced us to diversify our assets. It’s worked. The income we make is even better than back in the day when Skull was at the top of his game,” Sabre brags.
“It’s smart,” she murmurs, and I can hear admiration in her tone.
To prove my mind is all fucked up, I find myself jealous of King, just because my woman thinks he’s smart—which he really is.
Fuck, Daphne is not mine—at least not yet.
There’s a small voice inside my head repeating two words that scare the fuck out of me.
Maybe never. I push those thoughts aside and try to trample the voice.
I have to so that I can survive. Apparently, fear is an emotion I’m going to have to get used to when it comes to having Daphne in my life.
“So?” Sabre prompts and Daphne looks as confused as I feel, making him sigh out loud. “Who is this, Nana Cory?”
“Oh, she’s my next-door neighbor, Ms. Grayson. She’s a widow. She’s been a great friend and support system. Her and Cammie have a very tight bond. Eli, knows her.”
“Yeah,” I answer, still kind of lost in my own thoughts, despite trying to lock them down.
“I doubt you can get her to move, Dad. She doesn’t have kids, and she lost her husband about six years ago to cancer. The house is all that’s left from her life with him.”
“If she loves kids, why didn’t she ever have any?” he asks. I have to admit I’m a little curious. Though, I guess just because you love kids, doesn’t mean you want the full-time responsibility of them.
“Her husband wasn’t able. She said a lifetime with him was worth the sacrifice, even if that lifetime was cut short.”
“She was a lucky woman,” Sabre mutters.
“How do you figure?” I ask, thinking of the hell the woman must have gone through wanting kids but not being able to have them, only to lose her husband and have to grieve alone.
“Getting a love like that is a once in a lifetime kind of thing. Death sneaks up on us. You don’t take it for granted.”
He stares at me as he says it, his haunted eyes boring into me.
He’s sending me a message. How did he know?
I knew he realized I cared for his daughter, but how did he guess how deep it went for me?
I turn my gaze to Daphne and the weight of my feelings for her settles on my shoulders and it doesn’t feel bad.
It doesn’t exactly feel good either. What it is, is hard to define, but I’m pretty sure that’s because I’m terrified that she’s going to reject me.
Christ, Sabre’s right. I need to man-up and do it soon.