Chapter 10 #4
“I would never dream that you were in a million years. Please, I know we’ve just met, but I really am moved by you and Max.
And honestly, I think my daughters would kick my butt if he didn’t go over there with them.
Please, let me celebrate the Christmas spirit right now and spread a little joy.
” I gestured toward the line where a group of kids had spontaneously broken out into a raucous rendition of “Frosty The Snowman”. “’Tis the season, after all.”
A myriad of emotions spilled across her face, and it seemed like two in particular were warring against each other—the starry-eyed happiness from earlier and doubt. I couldn’t blame her for having it, but I wished she didn’t have to. Sometimes, the world could be so cruel.
“Okay,” she said finally. “It is for Max, after all.”
“It is,” I agreed, even though we both knew that wasn’t entirely true. As someone who was acutely aware of how quickly my children were going to grow, I knew how precious it was to document every milestone. It didn’t exactly take a psychic to guess Jeannie would probably feel the same.
“Do you think you’re ready to join the line? If you need a minute, that’s okay. I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything.”
“No, no, it’s okay. Just a little bit of pride, that’s all.” Her eyes brightened, and the smile on her face seemed pretty darn genuine. “Back when things first started going down, I refused any help at all. Thankfully, I learned my lesson, but sometimes it rears its ugly head back up.”
“I get that. It’s like my mother-in-law always used to say, sometimes your first reaction to things is just what the world’s trained you to do. It’s your second reaction a few seconds later that speaks to what your soul actually wants.”
Her pupils dilated slightly at that, and her eyebrows almost shot up to her hairline.
“I... I don’t think I’ve ever heard it put that way before.
I always thought your first reaction was kind of your inner voice, and that’s why sometimes I get so disappointed in myself because it can be kind of mean. ”
I shook my head. “Nah, definitely not, I think. You know that one phrase, how we’re all unlearning stuff throughout our lives?
Like say racism, sexism, or being judgmental?
The way I see it, we’re trained by the world to see things in a very specific way and react to specific stimuli with specific actions, so that’s where that split-second mean voice can come from.
The important thing is that you rebut that mean voice and counter it with what you know to be true. ”
I didn’t quite have words to describe the expression that crossed her features, but it made me feel—huh, I didn’t have words for that either. This night sure was full of firsts.
“You are quite the philosopher, aren’t you, Mr. LeBeau?”
“I ain’t sure I’ve ever been accused of that before,” I said. “but I ain’t gonna argue with you, Miss...” And now it was my turn to realize I had no idea what her last name was.
“Wolfe,” she answered with a light chuckle, and I nearly choked on my own spit. “What?” she asked, having no idea why that was so damn funny to me. Man, life sure had a sense of humor sometimes.
“Nothing. Just a unique name.”
“Is it?” She tilted her head to the side. “I chose it because I thought it was pretty but normal.”
That caught my attention as we began to walk to where our children were waiting and singing. “You chose it?”
“Yeah. Technically, my name is Juniper Stardust Aurora Wulfhunde, but believe it or not, I had a real hard time getting a job with that on my résumé, so I saved up and legally shortened my name to Jeannie Wolfe. I think it fits me better.”
There was a whole story there, and I would really love to hear it, but now wasn’t the time.
“Yeah, I agree,” I said instead.
And I meant that, too.
I liked to think that Jeannie could tell as well, but it was impossible to ask her over the din of nearly two dozen kids singing. And I wasn’t about to be the Ebenezer Scrooge and tell them to quiet down their Christmas cheer.
It would have done me well to bring earplugs, however.
Potential bleeding eardrums or not, we made it through the line in relatively good time, and soon my daughters were sitting on Santa’s lap.
Well, Eva was. Addy chose to stand beside him, her hand resting on his chair like she was some sort of Christmas advisor.
They took a couple of photos, which showed up on the elf-assistant’s tablet, and they showed them to me so I could pick my favorites.
I ended up picking out three, because I was a sentimental bastard, and my hand was already reaching for my wallet when Addy called out.
“Come on, Max, take some pictures with us!”
“Me?” Max asked, sounding just as surprised as I was. “Don’t you want pics with your daddy?”
“We’ll get him next. We want some with you!”
Max’s cheeks were already red from the cold, but it was cute to watch that flush grow much more vibrant. “Okays. If you’re sure…”
“We are!” Eva insisted just as loudly as her sister.
Cue several more photos, and I made sure to buy all four of them.
It could have been in my head, but I swore the elf photographer took extra care to organize the three so Max didn’t look like he was taking a separate photo because of his chair.
I admired that, and I resolved to leave him a tip if I was able to.
“Daddy, now it’s your turn!”
“That’s my cue,” I said, hurrying to them.
It felt the tiniest bit strange to have Max in the pictures with me, but he looked happy enough to cry, so I wasn’t about to remove him.
Especially when he beamed at his mother with his big, hazel eyes that so matched hers.
Jeez, his father’s genetics hadn’t even tried, had they?
“Mama, would you take my chair for a minute?” he asked after we took several of him sitting.
“Are you sure, big man? You were awfully tired earlier today.”
“Yeah, I can do it. I promise.”
“Okay, I’m trusting you.”
Jeannie came up and helped her son stand, taking the blanket that had been over his lap, then Max held out a hand to Addy. She took it, and the two of them stood to one side of Santa, me to the other, and Eva on his lap.
It was unorthodox, that was for sure. But who was I to argue with three incredibly happy kids?
We weren’t done, however. Once we had a few shots, I crossed over to Jeannie and held out my hand for the blanket and chair. “You go take some photos with your son,” I said softly. “I’ll pick out my faves from the last set.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, sending me that shocked expression again. It was far more adorable than it should have been. “You didn’t get any solo shots with your daughters.”
“That’s okay. I got the photos exactly how they wanted them. Now, you go get yours.” I could tell she was wavering ever so slightly, so I lowered my voice again. “Christmas spirit, remember?”
“Right, right.” She shook her head, then beamed as she hurried past me. “Am I cool enough to get in on this buddy?”
Max looked at his mom like she was the entire world, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that they had an amazing relationship. “You’re the coolest!”
“You better remember that when you hit double digits. Now, why don’t you sit on Santa’s lap and I’ll crouch in front of you?”
“Mama, I don’t think you’re tall enough to need to crouch.”
“Excuse you! Santa, I think you have someone for the naughty list.”
The Santa, who had been relatively patient through our chatter, let out a booming laugh. “No one goes on the naughty list for telling the truth. Come now, there’s room on Santa’s lap for the two of you.”
Jeannie pinkened up a bit. I wondered if she was worried about her size being an issue, but I could tell from the frame of the man that he was one of those solid old men that still went out and chopped wood and could haul a sheep over their shoulders without blinking.
Even with humans, there seemed to be a correlation between tough ol’ sods being the sappiest holiday enjoyers.
Thankfully, Jeannie didn’t let any sort of self-consciousness dictate her decision, and soon the two of them had at least six different photos to choose from, three with both of them on his lap and one with Jeannie in the chair and Santa pretending to sit on one of her shorter legs while Max was comfortably perched on the other. Naturally, I bought all of them.
Jeannie was so swept up in it all she didn’t even remember she had to pick until we made our way over to the side tent where they were printed out on fancy, laminated photo paper.
“Here you are,” I said, handing her the manila envelope. Her expression softened so sweetly, it made every cent I’d spent on them worth it. Three hundred dollars was nothing compared to memories that would last forever.
“Goodness, Remy. You really didn’t have to.”
“I know. If I did, it wouldn’t be a very good Christmas present, would it?”
“But you don’t even know us. Not really.”
“That may be true, but I know you are a kind person who’s had a whole lot dumped on them that most people wouldn’t be able to handle, and I know Max is a good and sweet kid, and my girls really like him. I’m not the type to take those things for granted.”
Her entire face flushed, starting at her cheeks and spreading outwards until it disappeared into all her coverings. It was endearing in an entirely effortless way.
“Thank you, Remy. This means so much to me.”
Taking a risk, I put my hand on her shoulder.
“I understand, I really do.” It was hell having to face the idea that you might lose someone you loved more than life itself.
The biggest difference between Jeannie and me was that her loved one made it while mine had not.
It was a fork in our lived experiences, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t relate to each other.
As we made that physical connection, it felt like time stopped, and for a moment, it was just the two of us, with no other loud kids, no line about a dozen feet away from us, no Winter Wonderland, and no side tent full of expensive printers.
Just us, and the baggage we carried from being imperfect souls in an imperfect world.
And for that moment, I felt so much less alone.
“What do we do now?” Eva asked, tugging at my coat. Despite my enhanced senses, I nearly jumped out of my skin, surprised that my daughter was able to sneak up on me.
“What do you mean, Eva?”
“Where do we go after the workshop? There’s more, right?”
“No, sweetie. The tour’s over. But Winter Wonderland is pretty big. Why don’t we walk around it?”
Her lips trembled and pulled down into not quite a pout but definitely an unhappy expression. “Over? But it’s so early!”
“Yeah,” Addy jumped in. “Why is it so short?”
“Some people prefer shorter excursions because they can’t be in the cold for that long,” I said tactfully, figuring that was exactly the reason that Jeannie had chosen this specific tour.
Would some people think we were silly for paying for someone to show us around the city and tell us tidbits about the buildings and history that we’d ignored to talk to each other?
Sure. But it was worth it for the photos in the manila envelopes.
Besides, I had the disposable income, so why not?
I didn’t believe in hoarding money. Saving for the future, sure, but some things were worth splurging on.
“He means me,” Max said, and he didn’t sound offended in the least. Was there anything that could bother this kid? Then again, being so sick when you were so young probably gave you a different outlook on life. “This is a lot of fun, but I think I need to warm up. Mama, can I have my chair again?”
“Of course, big man. Coming right up.”
“I see,” Addy said, nodding gravely. “So, what you need is a warm activity. With not a lot of movement.”
“Yeah, something like that.”
Addy looked at me, and I realized that she wasn’t just learning about her new friend, but she was looking to me for a solution.
Oh.
Abruptly, I found myself needing a low-impact but warm winter activity so the kids could extend their night. Sure, I could say no, but Christmas only came once a year, so why not pack as much fun into it as we could?
Besides, it wasn’t like I wanted the night to end either.
An idea came to me. It wasn’t exactly a banger, but it should suffice.
“You know, there’s this big subdivision at the edge of the south side that always has all sorts of crazy light displays.
I think one even has a whole musical setup.
If you want, we can all jump in my van and go there together?
Maybe stop and get some hot chocolates and coffees to enjoy while we drive around? ”
Max’s face lit up again, which was cute at first. I chuckled when Jeannie’s face took on the exact same expression. It was a bit uncanny, honestly.
“That sounds great, actually,” Jeannie said. “And you don’t mind driving?”
“Not at all. Come on, it’s gonna be fun.”