Chapter 2
Music blasted from the speakers in my living room, only partially drowning out my racing thoughts.
Two months had done nothing to delete Carteay from my mind.
Me and the young lady who I’d planned on having suck my dick had drunk about half a gallon of tequila, and I still didn’t have the nerve to touch her.
No matter how appealing she was to my eyes, or how good her tongue felt on my neck, my heart wouldn’t let me want her.
She wasn’t right. She wasn’t her. I couldn’t stand her right now.
Even when I couldn’t have her, Carteay still had a toehold on me.
Shaking my head, I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back.
For the past few years, I’d run an elite security company and secured some of the most prestigious members of my community and the ones surrounding it.
I’d stood guard for celebrities, athletes, and even politicians near and far.
As a natural born protector, I was good at what I did.
The one thing I could never protect was my heart.
“Get up and get your stuff, baby girl. I can’t do this.”
Her shoulders fell. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, I’m just having a fucked-up night.”
“I’m trying to make it better for you, daddy.”
“I understand and appreciate that. Here,” I said, lifting my body so I could get my wallet out of my back pocket.
I took out a few bills and passed them to her.
“Get you something to eat to soak up some of that alcohol and fill your tank up. I don’t want your drive over here to be a complete waste. ”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I think I drank too much.”
“Maybe next time,” she said, backing up and buttoning up her shirt.
Those dark brown nipples made me swallow hard.
I threw my head back and closed my eyes because I was seconds away from changing my mind about making her leave.
My phone rang, making my eyes pop back open.
When I saw Kross’s name, I immediately dropped my head.
I went ahead and swiped the screen before I changed my mind.
I watched old girl let herself out before speaking up.
“What’s up?” I answered.
“You still over there crying and eating ice cream?” he quizzed.
“I had company until you called, messing up the mood.”
“I just saw her thick ass sprinting up out of there like Flo Jo. I didn’t think you had it in you no more.”
“Where your ugly ass at?” I asked.
“Opening the door. I know your sorry ass ain’t locked it back.”
“I got to get one of those keypads. Y’all boys ain’t gon’ keep running up in here like y’all want to, man. What you want? I could have been getting my dick sucked.”
“Well, that’s why I called first,” he announced as he walked through the door.
“You were already outside,” I said, tossing my phone on the couch.
“I didn’t come here to tongue wrestle with you, son,” he said, picking up my remote from the table and turning off the speakers then turning on the TV. After a few seconds, I could tell that he’d turned the TV on the news. His old ass loved to watch the news these days.
Using my free hand, I massaged the back of my neck as I listened to the news with my eyes closed. The crook in my neck was indicative of the stress I had been living under since Carteay made her choice.
I was stressed the fuck out about losing my girl to that jackass Cyrus.
My dick had been unsucked for two months.
Up until now, I was sure that two weeks was my limit.
I couldn’t even remember the last time I had gone that long without sex.
Yet here I was, simped out like hell and being faithful to someone who wasn’t even mine.
Even after weeks of zero communication, some part of me hoped that Carteay would come back or at least reach out to me.
I couldn’t even make myself pretend that I wouldn’t welcome her with open arms if she did.
All she had to do was come back to me. I couldn’t wait to tell her that I had waited for her.
I hated to think about what I would do with myself if she didn’t come back.
Hell, what if she wasn’t waiting? She told me how that nigga Cy had forced himself on her in the past. I had the feeling that she hadn’t actually told me how bad it was.
I was consumed with thoughts of him or any other nigga putting their hands on her with or without her permission.
There was no telling how far I would spiral if I found out somebody had touched her.
I needed to get to her, but I had no idea how to do that without just pulling up at the label and stating my business. I was this close to going to her next show and dragging her off the stage. I was getting tired of pretending that I wasn’t losing my mind without that girl. Shit was crazy.
I had never felt so unbalanced in my life, and I didn’t know if I loved or hated it. Being in love with Carteay and not being able to have her made me physically sick. When I finally got my hands on her, I wasn’t letting her go, even if I had to handcuff her to me.
“Aye, bro. You got some shackles?” I asked my brother.
“Nigga, what?”
“Shackles. I got handcuffs, but I need the foot cuffs.”
“I’m not even gon’ ask. I’ve seen all of those ropes and chains you got around here. You should be able to improvise. The most important question is what you plan on doing with them. You gon’ kidnap old boy?” he quizzed.
“Nah, I’m thinking about kidnapping Carteay’s ass though.”
“Boy, if I thought you were serious, I would have you committed,” Kross said, shaking his head.
“She loves me, Kross. She wants to be here. She’s just scared to come back.”
“You think chaining her up in your basement is going to help with that fear?”
“Not in the basement. I would put her in the guest room. Nah, you know what? She can have my bedroom.”
“Do I need to have Mama get Pastor Cook over here to lay hands on you?” my brother asked, lifting his brows.
“It’s just a thought.”
“But y’all boys love to call me crazy. At least I got a reason to be shell shocked. I was in the marines. I was an assassin. Y’all niggas just tender around the nut sack. There’s a difference.”
“Whatever, nigga. I need a tracker on her too. I’ll get Blaine to do that. In the meantime, I want you to make the owners of her security company an offer they can’t refuse.”
“You wanna buy the company?” Kross asked.
“For up to twenty five percent over asking to rush the process along. You want me to get my girl. I’m getting her the right way.”
“What else you need, boss?”
“Tell me why your wife is taking my mama to the strip club? She’s corrupting my poor mama. She gone have to be baptized again if she keeps messing around with your little freaky wife.”
“Aye, don’t be talking about my wife’s level of freakiness, little boy. For your information, Mom took my innocent, angelic wife to the strip club, not the other way around.”
“Keep your wild ass wife away from my mama. I already keep missing her so-called boyfriend. I can’t wait to catch Lester’s old ass over there. I’m going right upside his head.”
“Kannon, do not go over there fucking with that man.”
“I don’t want some punk sniffing up around my mom trying to get in her pants. She doesn’t need that at her age. It’s time for her to sit down and rock in the rocking chair while she watches her grandchildren play. Mama don’t need to be trying to get her groove back.”
“You sound like a lil’ ho right now, Bro. Mama is old enough to make her own decisions and young enough to enjoy herself. Get out of that before she goes upside your head. You know she’ll do it.”
“I’m not letting no leisure suit wearing gigolo take advantage of my mama.”
“Mind your business, Bro. Back to you. I thought you wanted your girl back.”
“She made her choice, Kross. That don’t mean I’m not on his ass. She doesn’t want him any more than she wants me.”
“Be careful, Bro.”
The reporter switched to a lighter note talking about the award show from last night that I refused to watch.
I turned down a lucrative contract to not have to see Carteay and her boy up close and personal.
It had been two months since I’d laid eyes on her.
I had no idea how I would react to her if I saw her.
I knew what I would do once I got close enough to put my hands on Cyrus, though, so I was keeping my distance from them both.
Eight weeks did little to nothing to ease the ache in my heart or the hollow in the center of my chest. I wanted Carteay just as much as I had the day she snuck out and left me a Dear John letter talking about saving me or some shit.
I wasn’t the one who needed saving. She was.
She’d safe worded. As much as it pained me, I had to respect her wishes.
Please don’t come for me. Protect yourself like you protect everyone else. Those were her exact words. No matter how much I wanted to go to Carteay, she’d made her decision. She ran back into the clutches of the people who she’d confided in me had been making her life miserable.
What was I supposed to do?
When I heard a familiar beat drop, my eyes betrayed me by opening just in time for me to see Carrie and Cy on stage all lovey dovey dressed in red.
She was absolutely gorgeous. My heart nearly seized up in my chest when she started to sing.
She was talking about me in that song. At least that was what I kept telling myself.
There was no coincidence that she said you hit me like a cannon.
For weeks, I had been able to avoid hearing her sing. Now I was forced to watch and listen while the man she claimed to hate wrapped his arms around her and felt her up for the world to see. I was disgusted, seeing them holding hands and clinging to each other as if their lives depended on it.