Chapter 27 Bane
Bane
It’s not instantaneous—those demons have their claws deep in Slade—but bit by bit, her trembling decreases and her eyes become more lucid. She grips my hand as she pulls out of the catatonic state that, frankly, was the scariest fucking thing I’ve lived through.
“Bane.” Her voice is hoarse and raw, like she’s been screaming for hours.
There’s so much pain, guilt, and what I’m sure is shame in her eyes that it guts me.
I cup her face. “I’m here, Slade.”
Right now, she’s still feeling emotions, and she hasn’t returned to that numbed state, but I know she’ll fight to get there.
However, I need her to keep feeling, and to stay steady while she does, even if what she feels isn’t joy or peace.
Because every time she allows herself to feel, it helps her retrain her mind and reclaim control.
“What do you need?” I’m expecting her answer to be water or for me to stop touching her, so when she answers, I laugh unexpectedly.
“Candy.” The corners of her mouth curl slightly into a small smile.
If and when she full-on smiles at me, with light glowing in her eyes, she’ll devastate me. Completely ruin me.
I brush her hair back off her forehead. “You can have all the candy you want.”
When I remove my hand from her cheek, she grabs it and puts it back where it was and closes her eyes. She takes a deep breath before pushing out a shaky exhale. “Where am I?”
“My bedroom.”
One eye opens and she looks at me. “How did I get here?”
“I carried you.”
Both eyes are open now, studying me. “Why?”
“Because… We have a connection that can’t be explained. My voice, my touch, my smell—it all helped to calm the war waging in your mind and brought you back.”
Another shaky exhale pushes past her lips before she looks away. When her gaze meets mine again, panic swirls beneath the other emotions.
Before I can ask Slade what’s wrong, though, Trinity pushes forth to the side of the bed. She holds a small medical bag and glances at me before speaking to Slade. “Hi, Slade.”
“Who are you?” she demands harshly.
“I’m Trinity; Mauler's Old Lady.” She smiles gently. “I’m also an ER nurse. I came to make sure you’re okay.”
Slade bolts into an upright sitting position, her panic erupting. Her movements are jerky as she scrambles back on the bed and yanks at her shirt sleeves to pull them low over her hands. “You’re not touching me.”
“Slade.” My voice is low with concern. Without looking away from her, I hold up my hand behind me to stop Slade’s brothers and Ash from pushing closer. I can feel their startled shock at Slade’s reaction and escalating worry that she’s going to spiral again.
Trinity handles the situation like a pro and speaks in a calm voice. “No one will do anything you don’t want, Slade. You’re in charge and the one in complete control, okay?”
Slade turns to me, and I nod. She relaxes slightly.
Then—I knew it would happen, but it still is a gut-shot blow—she pushes all those emotions down and the flat numbness returns. Trinity’s shock is clear until she schools her expression back into her professional demeanor.
“Would you like anyone to stay with us, Slade?” Trinity asks.
“I'm staying.” With the wild pounding in my chest at the thought of being away from Slade, I might need Trinity’s services myself when I go into cardiac arrest.
“Only if that’s what Slade wants,” Trinity says firmly.
“Go, Bane.” Slade’s whisper is another gut-shot, and I jerk back like I was actually shot. She looks away, the long, graceful column of her throat shifting as she swallows.
Hands fall on my shoulder, and I turn to see Ash on one side of me and Army on the other. I’m not sure if they’re there to yank me out of the room or to stop me from spiraling.
“I’ll be right outside if you need anything, Slade.” I force the words out.
She turns back to me and nods. “Thank you.”
Forcing myself to respect what she wants, I stand from the bed and walk out with fisted hands. Everyone files out of the room after me, her brothers finally joining us after they briefly spoke to Slade.
My hands open and close into fists as I pace the hallway, wanting and needing someone to hurt because of Slade’s haunted torment. Because the predator who hurt her is already dead. Because she can never be mine. Because I physically can’t stand by her side right now.
Take your pick. It’s all being packed into a massive landmine that’s about to blow.
“I want Destiny gone.” I go with the only outlet possible right now.
“She didn’t touch or hurt, Slade,” Pix reminds me.
“We have a code of conduct and laws around the Club Pussy.” Army, as the Sergeant at Arms, oversees and ensures it’s all followed. “They’re free to leave whenever, but to force them to leave…there has to be some infraction against a club member or an Old Lady.”
Army is right. When we took over as Council, we had inherited the existing laws of the MC; some were fucking asinine and we had changed them. Unfortunately, we hadn’t changed this one.
“Then I want to amend it,” I snarl.
Ash shoves his hand through his hair. “That takes time and will require a diligent process, brother. You know that.”
Digit pushes closer to me. “And it’s not the top priority of what we need to focus on right now.”
Instantly, I’m zeroed in on him. “What did you find?”
Breaker, Tyr, and Sten push in closer, having remained quiet after speaking with Slade, but are keen to be kept in the loop regarding their sister.
“Someone called to access the message Slade left on Matt Knight’s voicemail,” Digits replies.
“Can you trace it to find out who it was and track them?” Breaker asks as he and his brothers had been informed about what we’ve discovered to date from digging into Slade.
“They called from a burner phone.” Digits eyes me like he knows I’m set to blow at any fucking second. “They turned it off, but I’ll get a notification if it’s turned back on.”
“So we have shit all,” I bark.
Pix places her hand on my chest to stop me from pacing the hallway. “Not true. We know Slade has someone else protecting her.”
Like Slade’s mysteriously absent husband or someone else…like the Feds. We hadn’t informed Breaker, Tyr, and Sten about the possibility that Slade might have government training or connections.
“If we can find them, then maybe they can help us understand what happened to Slade,” Sten says with hope. All he wants is his little sister back—physically, mentally, and emotionally.
“If you assholes hadn’t abandoned her in the first place to deal with Tyla on her own, then maybe whatever happened to her wouldn’t have happened in the first fucking place.”
I’m the world’s biggest bastard to strike such a vicious blow, but I need someone to hurt.
Tyr surges into me, standing on his toes so we’re eye to eye. “You’re a fucking dick.”
Breaker yanks him back, even though he glares at me with fury. “Bane is still the VP,” he grits. “Stand down.”
“You’re right, though, Tyr; Bane is acting like a fucking dick.” Ash’s look is dark with warning.
Pix shoves my chest, glaring up at me. “Alienating Slade’s brothers won’t help her, so stop it.”
My hands unclench, only to clench again into tight fists. “I’m sorry,” I grit out the apology to Slade’s brothers. “That was out of line.”
Digits stands beside Army, leaning against the wall, as they both watch me closely. Army, specifically, I know has something to say. But before either of them can open their mouths, my bedroom door opens and Trinity exits, closing it behind her.
The look of concern on her face makes my stomach drop. “What’s wrong?”
“She’s okay.”
Breaker points at the door. “How the hell do you classify that as okay?”
I ignore everyone but Trinity. “But?”
Trinity’s dark brown eyes scan us, lingering on Slade’s brothers before coming back to me. Ash stands by my side as I vibrate with tension. “She wouldn’t let me really touch her.”
I can hardly breathe. “Do you think she was sexually assaulted in the past, and that’s why she wouldn’t let you touch her?”
That thought has crossed my mind more than once—the way Slade jerks whenever someone touches her, the haunted look in her eyes. The way I’ve heard her broken whisper as she sleeps, saying, ‘Please stop’.
Trinity’s brow pinches together. “I don’t know. She’d only allow me to take her temperature and her pulse at her neck.”
“Not her wrists?” Pix asks.
“Definitely not her wrists.” Trinity shakes her head. “When I reached for it, she yanked it back like I had the plague.”
Fuck. Has Slade tried to slit her wrists in the past? Feeling so tormented, that was the only option she could see?
Bile forces into my throat at the thought of this beautiful woman, tortured with an anguish that twisted her soul so intensely…
“I need to talk to her.” I push through the people crowding the hallway. No one stops me.
“Be gentle with her, Bane,” Trinity warns.
With my hand on the doorknob, I look over my shoulder, speaking to them all, but my eyes are locked on Ash—one of my closest family and my brother-in-arms. And my Prez, who could have me punished if he chose to, but my words are strong and unwavering, “Slade has nothing to fear from me. I’m hers. All-in. No questions.”
Then, I enter my bedroom.