Chapter 5
5
H awke’s phone vibrated in his back pocket. He pulled it out and stared at an email from Wendel Lawrence. The subject line read: Medical Bills.
He tapped the screen.
I expect you to pay for my son’s doctor’s visit today and his clothing. The bill is attached. It seems your boy follows you, taking potshots for no reason. But that is not the nature of this email. I just wanted to get your attention.
As one former airman to another, I’d appreciate it if you told Kaelie to return the items from my home office. On Monday, I have an appointment with the DA. I’d rather not file a complaint, but Arthur and Kaelie have left me no choice. Their incompetence in finding out who set the fire will be their downfall.
And yours, if you’re not careful.
By the way, letting Calista go had to be the dumbest thing you’ve ever done, but don’t you worry, I’ve taken good care of her.
I plan on doing it again.
“Like hell you have or ever will,” Hawke whispered.
The sound of rubber squeaking against a hardwood floor tickled his ears.
He shoved the phone in his back pocket.
“Here.”
Hawke took the beer Calista offered. He sat on the front step of her house. She lived on a dead-end street in the back of a quiet, more upscale seaside neighborhood than his. Children ran about their yards yelling and laughing. A group of teenagers sat under a big tree near the entrance of a small park.
“Where’s David?” he asked.
“It’s going to be so hard for me to call him David all the time. But if it makes him happy, then so be it.”
“And it’s going to be better when he takes my last name.”
“That’s jumping the gun a bit, don’t you think?”
“Maybe, but if I’d known about him, I would have wanted him to have my name.”
She nodded. “I just want to make sure that any decisions we make are in his best interest.”
“Where is he?” Hawke asked again.
“Cleaning his room. I told him once he was done with that, then we’ll see about him playing outside with the rest of the kids, but he really should have some kind of consequence, don’t you think?”
“You’re asking me for parenting advice?” He twisted and pulled at the paper label on his beer. “That’s rich,” he said sarcastically.
“I’m trying to include you in everything. I know this is overwhelming, and you’re still angry.”
“You don’t have a freaking clue as to what I’m feeling.” Nor did he. One second, he was flying high, thrilled by the strange turn of events. Minutes later, rage filled his heart. Had Calista never strapped herself to a jumper, he might not have ever known he had a kid.
Whose fault was that?
Not a question he was prepared to ponder too closely. He preferred to blame her. It made it easier, just like it had to blame both of them for Courtney’s death so he could be an asshole and walk away.
“Why don’t you tell me how you’re feeling?”
“Why? So, you can psychoanalyze me?” He kept his gaze on the young girl skipping rope across the street. He counted the number of times her feet hit the pavement while he continued to remove the paper label from his longneck. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way, he’d mastered feeling sorry for himself.
“Now you’re just being an asshole because you can.”
She had a point. “How long have you lived here?”
“About three weeks.”
He shook his head. “I’m five miles south of here.”
“It’s a small world.” She took a seat next to him. Leaning back on her elbow, she gulped some of her beer. She hadn’t aged much over the last ten years. A few small lines around the eyes and she might have put on a few pounds, which were sorely needed, but she looked exactly as he remembered.
“I’m sorry you’ve had to raise him all alone. Had I known, I would have been there for you. For him.”
She jerked her head back and laughed. “One minute, I’d be mad as hell at you, and I’d write you some nasty stuff. The next day, I’d be daydreaming over you meeting your son and what that reunion would be like, as well as us being a family. Kind of like how you’re treating me now.”
He reached out and clanked her nearly empty bottle. “I know. I read all the letters.”
“I meant every single word. Even when I said I still cared and thought about you.”
“That I find hard to believe after all these years,” he said, slightly amused by the way her lips curved into a half smile. “I deserved your wrath.”
She’d always had a light, calming effect on the people around her, no matter the situation. When he’d been with her, she believed that if you can’t laugh at yourself, you shouldn’t laugh at all. Her life had been one tragic event after the other, and yet she managed to remain positive.
It seemed like she continued on the positive train long after he left her standing in that cemetery.
His mother told him on her deathbed that she had no regrets, and that was the one wish she had for her boys.
He’d failed his mother the day he walked away from Calista.
And he failed his son.
Two regrets he’d spend the rest of his life trying to make up for.
“I couldn’t believe the man I knew would just up and abandon his child. But that’s what I was left with when you didn’t answer my letters.”
“I would never do?—”
She pressed her palm over his mouth. “That’s why I kept writing, regardless of how much you hurt me. I’d look at our son, and I knew deep down that something had to be keeping you from him. I just didn’t know what. Since you’d left the Air Force, and Colt had confirmed that for me, but he wouldn’t tell me anything about your life, because he’d promised you he wouldn’t, all I could was write. I can’t tell you how many things ran through my brain. Mostly that you’d fallen in love, gotten married, and had a bunch of kids, and one more wasn’t in your game plan.”
“That’s just ridiculous. You know me better than that.”
“I thought I did. But I kept waiting. For ten long years, I would stare at my cell and wait by the door, hoping, praying that one day you’d show up.” She dropped her hand to her side. “I did it because of your son. He’s certainly a chip off the old block, that’s for sure.”
“He told me that he waited for just the right moment to sock the little turd in the nose, just like you told him I did.” Pride filled Hawke’s mind, but at the same time, he was reminded of Wendel and the women who’d been raped and murdered. It had everyone on edge, simply because it meant the rapist/murderer was most likely a man who was supposed to be one of the good guys, making it harder for the community to trust any of them. They had been down this road before, one too many times, and none of them wanted to do it again. “I don’t think giving him any form of punishment is the right thing to do. He had every right to defend himself.”
“I actually totally agree with you. I hated even scolding him. Blaine has been nothing but mean to Wilson—David—ever since we moved here. I’ve tried talking to Blaine’s father, but he doesn’t think his kid could do anything wrong.”
Hawke gripped the bottle, his knuckles turning white. “Are you interested in Wendel Lawrence? Romantically?” He had no claim to Calista, and he had no right to be even the slightest bit jealous, but Wendel was a piece of shit. “He mentioned that you have gone out on a date. Have you slept with him? Are you going to go out with him again?”
She tilted her head toward the sun, exposing the soft underside of her kissable neck. He used to spend hours dribbling her with kisses right under her earlobe. It was where she tasted like sweet coconuts.
“Are you kidding me? You think I’d honestly sleep with a man whose son is bullying mine? Are you nuts?”
Hawke shrugged. “I had to ask.”
She sighed. “Wendel thinks he’s charming. But he’s not. I went out with him for a drink. I thought maybe it might help with the boys, but that’s not what happened, and I refused his advances. I knew about his reputation, but I didn’t need to hear the gossip to know he believes he’s God’s gift to women.” She visibly shivered. “I hate men like that, and I can’t believe you would ever think I would be interested in him at all.”
“I haven’t been around in ten years. I wouldn’t know.” Hawke wanted to know how his son handled the marriage, and the divorce, but one thing at a time, and there were more pressing matters to deal with. “I need you to stay away from Wendel, and I think it’s a good idea if we keep David away from Blaine.”
“That won’t be hard to do for the next week, but after that, they are in the same school, so impossible.”
“We could enroll David in Rolling Hills. It’s a private school and a bit pricey, but I could swing it. Most of my team members who have kids send them there. It’s supposed to be really good.”
“I’m not moving my kid because of a bully.” She leaned forward, clasping her fingers together around the bottle. “David knows everything that Blaine said was total bullshit. He waited to hit back because I’ve always told him never to throw the first punch because that’s what got you into so much trouble, even when you did the honorable thing.”
“Blaine’s father isn’t a bully. He’s a bad man. It’s all over the news about the fact the fire at his house wasn’t an accident. I was there, and I agree. But other things are going on that I can’t get into.”
“He claims his ex-wife did it. I’ve never met her, so I have no idea what kind of person she is, but either way, Wendel makes me skittish.”
“I’ve only met her in passing, but me and my team all know people who travel in hers and Wendel’s circle. Especially Rex and his wife Tilly. They all say she’s been put through the wringer with Wendel, and they are engaged in a real nasty custody battle,” Hawke said.
“Divorce can make people crazy.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Hawke said. “I don’t know how much I can tell you, which is why I asked my boss and the investigator for the fire department to stop by.”
“Here? Now?”
“Arthur is bringing his wife, kids, and chicken wings. Kaelie, the investigator, is bringing her husband Buddy. You remember him, right?”
“How could I forget that one.” She fanned her face. “So cute and sweet too.”
“And here I thought you had the hots for the Jolly Green Giant.”
“Oh, he was adorable, too, with the way he always tumbled over his words every time he got near a good-looking woman.” She laughed.
Hawke shook his head. “Well, Buddy and Kaelie are bringing their twins, along with some corn on the cob, bread, and dessert. It will feel more like a gathering; Arthur’s oldest boy, Justice, is almost eleven. A new friend for David. It will be fun for him, and hopefully, Kaelie and Arthur can give us some insight and fill you in on some details that aren’t public knowledge.”
She jumped, planted her hands on her hips, and glared. “You can’t just invade my home. Call them and tell them there has been a change of plans. I don’t want to entertain anyone, much less play family with your friends. You might be David’s father. I will go along with this name change, but only because if and when I found you, I wanted him to have your last name and I had every intention of calling him Hawke, but I couldn’t bring myself to call him that. You are his father. That is biology that can’t be changed. But I’m not going to play footsie with you under the table while kids frolic in the background.”
“Whoa. Wait a minute.” He ran a hand across the top of his head. “I’m not asking you to play anything. I thought it would be nice for David to meet some new friends and you as well.”
“I don’t need new friends,” she mumbled.
“Okay.” He held his hands in the air as if he’d waved the white flag. “But that doesn’t change the fact that something is going on with Wendel, and I wanted to present some new information to you because I don’t want that man anywhere near you or David.”
“And that couldn’t have been done over the phone? Jesus, Hawke. You know I hate it when people make plans for me. Besides, it’s too soon for us to hang out with other families. All of this is going to take time. We all need to adjust, and there will be bumps along the way. We can’t just leap into the deep end. Call them and tell them not to come.” She held up her phone. “Or David and I are leaving.”
“Oh no, you don’t.” He waved his finger. “I’m the only one in the deep end, and you’re the one who shoved me there. And frankly, I’m drowning. You and our son, on the other hand, have been living in a world where I was lost and needed to be found. He knew all about me and my life. How you and I met. What my favorite color is. He’s been listening to stories about his father. I’ve had jack shit. Until today.”
“And that’s your fault, not mine,” she said with rage dripping from each syllable like a rabid dog. “It’s not like I didn’t write. Send pictures. Give you updates and tell you about him. You’re the one who chose to act like a fucking child, stomp your feet, and bury your head in the sand.”
“Not the point,” he managed behind a clenched jaw. “And the issue here isn’t you, me, or David. The issue is there is an open investigation regarding Wendel, and I’m trying to keep you safe and informed while at the same time trying not to scare the shit out of our son. Besides, he wanted to meet some of the men I work with and I wanted to… to…” He rubbed his temples. “I wanted to show him off. I didn’t know I could love someone so much or be so proud, and it happened in less than a day. You’ve had ten fucking years to be a parent. I’ve had hours and I’m not going to let you take this away from me.”
She opened her mouth but slammed it shut when a Suburban rolled to a stop in her driveway. A young boy with dark hair jumped out of the driver’s side rear door. “Hey, Hawke.” The boy waved wildly. “Dad says there’s actually someone here my age to hang out with, so I don’t have to deal with my little brother and sister all night by myself.”
“His name’s David.” Hawke nodded.
“I’ll be inside,” Calista said as she jogged up the stairs. She didn’t say hello to anyone, much less let him introduce her. She could be pissed off all she wanted. He wasn’t about to regret taking care of her.
And his son.
Kelly, Arthur’s youngest, only three years old, stumbled as her older brother, Justice, set her feet on the ground. “Hawke,” she yelled, flapping her arms wildly at her sides.
Hawke lowered to one knee, his hands outstretched. The little girl had stolen his heart the first time she squished his face with her chubby little hands and gave him a big kiss and told him to ‘lighten up.’ He’d never laughed so hard, but the toddler had a point. “You look so pretty.” He scooped her up, giving her a big kiss on the cheek.
“Come on,” Maren, Arthur’s wife, took the little girl onto her hip, balancing a big bag of chicken wings from the local pizza shop. “Let’s go find Hawke’s friend and her son.”
“Jaden, get out of the bushes,” Arthur yelled. “Go with Mom.”
“Okay, Daddy. But there are all sorts of neat bugs, and I want to collect some.”
“We don’t collect other people’s bugs; now scoot.” Arthur slapped Hawke on the back, giving him a manly hug. “How are you holding up?”
“About the only thing keeping me from going crazy is the fact that my son is the most amazing human I’ve ever met, but then I realize I had nothing to do with how he’s turned out so far, and I go back to wanting to take my fist and put it through a tree. Or better yet, Wendel Lawrence’s face.” He leaned against the railing on the porch, staring out over the front yard. Buddy and Kaelie should only be about ten minutes out, based on their last text.
“You sure did a number on his gut.” Arthur raised his hand. “Or so Rusty said. I guess Wendel went to his boss and then the chief. Wendel was looking for blood, specifically yours. Since there were no witnesses that anyone was made aware of, it’s your word against his, and he decided to let it go. For now.”
“I barely hit him,” Hawke said, shaking his head. “Let’s dive in. What do you know that I don’t? And what can we tell Calista?”
“We both know that fire was hinky the second we went inside. Me, Rex, and Buddy have been slowly making our way through it under Kaelie. And Rusty’s asked us to go as slow as possible, especially now that he’s been suspended.”
“Wendel told me he voluntarily stepped down.” Hawke rolled his eyes. “Because it was the right thing to do.”
“I’m sure his captain wouldn’t correct him, or anyone else on the police force if pressed, but that’s not what happened. Originally, our investigation didn’t have anything to do with the rapes, but that all changed, and that’s why he’s under investigation.”
“That’s interesting,” Hawke said. Since he wasn’t on the arson side of things, he wasn’t privy to these discussions. “Did you and Kaelie find something in that fire?”
“Anything salvageable went to the CSI team along with a few charred items.” Arthur pointed down the street. “Rusty had his own thoughts about Wendel and went to Kaelie, asking to see what we’d gathered. He believes some of those things could be tied to the rapes and murders and has asked us to slow down this process while he sorts it all out. You know how hard it is going after one of your own.”
“I sure do.” Hawke nodded.
Buddy’s SUV slowed to a stop in front of Calista’s house. Buddy worked with Arthur on the arson team, something Hawke thought about training for, but that meant it would take away from being a paramedic and he loved that just a little too much.
Kaelie stepped from the passenger side, her growing belly gaining in size every day.
A second set of twins.
Insanity.
Hawke couldn’t imagine doing two at once.
Then again, he had no idea what it was like to have a baby and he’d never be given that chance.
Buddy set one of his three-year-old twins on the ground while Kaelie handed him a screaming child. “Where are the other kids?” Buddy asked.
“Probably the backyard. Just go through the house.” Hawke held open the door.
“Can I pawn these two off on Maren?” Buddy asked. “I want to be part of this conversation.”
“Aww, my honey has FOMO.” Kaelie raised up on her toes and kissed Buddy’s cheek. “Don’t worry, babe. What I tell them, you already know.”
“Why don’t we move this to the backyard,” Hawke said as he gave Arthur a slap on the back. “I want Calista part of the conversation since this concerns her too.”
“Hawke.” Kaelie grabbed his biceps. “I can’t tell her certain things. Not only is she not a member of the team or a police officer, but this case is about to get real hot. Too hot and if she were to repeat any of it, it could blow our chances of nailing this asshole. And I certainly don’t want to have it in front of the children. Let’s keep it right here, for now.”
Hawke ran a hand over his growing beard. He shouldn’t let it grow like this because he would have to shave it off after his forced vacation. “Break it down for me as best you can, but I will have to tell her something.”
“All right.” Kaelie sat in the rocking chair and rubbed her belly. “But I can’t give out the details of the police investigation. Not even to you.”
“Why can’t you just haul his ass in?” Hawke asked.
“I wish it were that simple, but if we want these charges to stick, then we need to do this right, and that means being patient and letting Rusty work his magic. Rusty is pretty good at bringing down the bad guys.”
“Easy for you to say,” Hawke said, dropping his hands to his sides. “My son goes to school with Wendel’s kid.”
Kaelie held up her hand. “I know you punched him on the school grounds. It has no bearing on the fire investigation. But Rusty wants to clock you one.”
“Bad news travels fast.” Hawke couldn’t help it. He cracked a grin.
“It sure does, and I’m advising you not to do it again. We don’t need him to be any more antagonistic with us than he already is. What I gathered in that fire might be helpful to Rusty, who is gathering some solid evidence, but he’s a slippery motherfucker.”
“Does Calista fit Rusty’s victimology for the rapist?” Hawke asked, catching Kaelie’s gaze. “She’s in her thirties, with long dark hair?—”
“We’d have to ask Rusty that question,” Arthur said with his hand on Hawke’s shoulder.
“Actually, I know the answer to that. Every woman that Rusty has connected to this case, that I might have connected to the fire, was about the same age as Calista,” Kaelie said. “One was married. One had kids. One did not. Rusty’s looking up other cases that haven’t been solved in a fifty-mile radius, looking for any file that might be similar. We’ve also contacted the Air Force for any rapes on the base that have been unsolved while Wendel was still enlisted. Or if there were any allegations of harassment. We don’t have a clear picture yet.” Kaelie’s voice lacked any of the conviction she usually spoke with. “I’ve become more involved with this only because of the fire, and Rusty needs me to stall.”
“I haven’t shown this to Calista yet, but I am seriously concerned about it.” He snagged his phone from his back pocket and pulled up the email he’d gotten less than half an hour ago. “I take it as a threat.”
Arthur held the phone in his hand before handing it to Kaelie.
“I hate this asshole,” Kaelie said, handing the cell back. “I can’t tell you how many men like him I’ve had to work with.”
“Please tell me what I’m up against,” Hawke said. “I need to protect my family. My son.”
“You can’t tell Calista.” Kaelie raised her brow. “I mean it.”
“I won’t tell her the specifics, but I’ve got to give her something. It’s the whole reason you all are here, and let me tell you, she wasn’t overly thrilled that I invited you.”
“I’m sure she wasn’t thrilled about how you left her ten years ago, either.” Kaelie lowered her chin.
“Excuse me?” Hawke glared at Kaelie.
“When I asked my darling husband, he tried not to tell me. But I gave him the evil eye.” Kaelie lowered her chin. “I scare him sometimes.”
“You frighten everyone.” Hawke chuckled. “Please, continue.”
“A necklace that Arthur found in the fire might have belonged to the first victim,” Kaelie said. “Rusty’s hands are tied since they are in the same precinct. He doesn’t know who to trust, so he needs a little time to sort that out.”
“A trophy?” Hawke didn’t have to be a cop to know that many serial killers kept something to remember their victims.
Sick bastard.
“It could be.” Kaelie nodded. “But it’s a common necklace. I even have one, so without DNA, we don’t have much.” She raised her hand before Hawke could even open his mouth. “The necklace and other items are being tested as we speak, but this stuff sometimes takes time, and I’m taking more than needed. I’m also going back through everything with Rusty. If we find more trophies, we got a better chance of nailing this creep.”
“I’ve got a kid who punched that man’s son and a… a…” What the hell did he call Calista?
“It’s the weekend, so there’s no school to worry about for two days. This team is off for an entire week, so we’ll make sure eyes are on Calista and your son the entire time.” Arthur nodded. “It’s what family does.”
“I’m going to help Rusty put that jerk off behind bars. You can count on that.” Kaelie stood just as Buddy returned to the front porch.
“What did I miss?” Buddy asked, handing his wife a water bottle and beers for everyone else.
Hawke laughed. “Everything.”
“Story of my life since having kids.” Buddy held up his longneck. “To family.”
“To family,” Hawke repeated. The new words tattooed on his back burned his skin and scorched his heart.
He had a son.
Family.
It was something he never expected.