Chapter 14
14
He stood there as the lukewarm water cascaded over him. He was incoherent, lost in such a sensual release, he could barely catch his breath. He braced his palms flat against the tiles, breathing around the pulsating waves of overwhelming pleasure. He could feel her against him, her soft beautiful curves pressed to him, enjoying the result of her sensual onslaught. His hips undulated into hers in uncontrollable thrusts.
Her hands slid over him, his shoulders, his chest, biceps, back as if she couldn’t stop touching him. He clenched his teeth, his heart hammering, his breathing so labored, he felt almost dizzy. He weakly rested his head against hers, his whole body quivering, sharply aware of her soft breasts pressed against his chest. He felt as if he had been wrenched in two. He managed to clasp the back of her head, shifting her so he could cover her mouth in a hot, deep tongue-tangling, open-mouth kiss, and she surrendered to him, melting his heart, her mouth moving against his with a less than sated hunger.
She broke the kiss, whispering his name over and over, kissing his neck, rubbing her face along his jaw as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He managed to shut off the water, still groping for his equilibrium.
He pulled away enough to look into her eyes, needed to see if there was something there he was craving more than her body.
He stared down into her eyes, and a shudder ran through him as her eyes suddenly turned dark and intent, then she exhaled sharply, a shiver sliding through her as if they were needing and experiencing the same damn thing…together. His chest banded with nothing but a searing joy. In those aching blue eyes were the answers he was looking for, that she desperately wanted him, that she couldn’t let go either, that what happened between them scared the shit out of her, too. He swore he saw her conclude that there was no turning back, that, like him, she had passed a point of no return, that he had claimed a part of her that she couldn’t take back.
His voice hoarse from the unbearable response to what he saw there, he whispered her name as he enfolded her in a crushing embrace, his arms like vises around her as he pressed his mouth to hers. Her hold was just as fierce, just as crushing.
Hauling in a ragged breath, something inside him broke open as this woman did something that nothing else could, not BUD/S, not hard-assed instructors, not numbing cold surf, and hard, abrading sand, not grueling PT meant to strip a man down, not Green Team, not even combat had been able to accomplish. She dropped him down to his knees. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his face to her belly, kissing her there, a feeling of overwhelming protectiveness rising in his chest as the rawest, most poignant emotions filtered through him.
Struggling with the thickness deep in his chest, he held onto her. He looked up at her, and she slipped her hands into his hair, caressing him gently as she struggled with the same raw emotions. So, no, there was no turning back, but whatever the future held with them as a couple was tenuous at best. They were dedicated professionals, and that was something they would have to work out, if they could. Nothing was ever guaranteed, no matter the desire. There was no way he could let her go. Not yet. Fuck, not yet. Likely not ever.
He waited a moment for the hard knot of emotion to ease, then he rubbed her spine. “Geezus, woman. You’re going to fucking kill me with that mouth of yours,” he whispered thickly.
“In and out of bed,” she whispered back, her hands still in his hair, her thumbs sliding over his temples. He caught a glint of amusement in her eyes, and her mouth lifted a little. “And to be fair, you are pretty damned irresistible and so damn quick-witted, especially when you’re pushing back all hard and aggressive. I love fighting with you, and sex with you is a whole new experience.”
“Damn, same here. Fuck me.”
“Gladly, but I think you’ll need to rest up there for a bit. I might have been harder on you than BUD/S.” He watched her, liking the way she held his gaze, liking the intimacy of the smile in her eyes. His strength returned in a rush of power, and he rose, making her squeal when he caught her up in his arms, hugging her to his chest. “Ooh, there’s that SEAL recovery. Ready again?” The sparkle in her eyes meant trouble, but her touch was soft and seductive. “Or do you need your Rocket Fins to, you know.” She raised her brows provocatively. “Propel you?”
He chuckled. “You’re a piece of work, you know that? Don’t ever underestimate me.” He lifted her off the floor and pushed her back against the tiles, her legs automatically wrapping around him, his dick going hard and aching as it settled between her thighs. Her eyes widened and her breath caught.
“I don’t need Rocket Fins to take you to new heights,” he growled, his body craving her all over again.
She laughed softly. “No, I think you’ve got all the equipment you need.”
Her breath hitched when he held her gaze, and he leaned in, opening his mouth over hers. “Give it up for me, babe.”
She yielded to the pressure of his mouth, and he adjusted the alignment of his hips, entering her in slow strokes, as he kissed her with lazy thoroughness. Working his mouth softly, slowly against hers, he drank from her, savoring the taste of her.
Her breath caught again, then she gasped when he dragged his mouth away from hers, arching her back and taking her nipple in his mouth as his hips thrust strongly into her. He flexed his hips, and she responded as helplessly as he had, tightening her muscles around him, and his mind clouded with desire. This time he was going to make it good for her. He was going to cement that look in her eyes that had mirrored his showing her how much he wanted this. Wanted her like no one had ever wanted her…unconditionally.
When they finally made it downstairs for lunch, after Leigh checked and then rechecked the window locks, Leigh paused in the lobby. Marines were coming through the door, kitted out and ready for battle. Each and every one of them was here not only to keep more Marines from dying but to bring the people responsible to their reckoning—whatever that would be.
She stood there, a bleak look coming over her as she searched all those young and determined faces. Her expression strained, it was clear she was wrestling with something, and he waited for her to work it out.
After several seconds, and aware of their time frame, he prodded, “Ready for breakfast?”
“Yes,” she murmured
Hazard glanced at her, wondering about the funny inflection in her voice. She had her hands by her sides, but they were clenched into fists, and he could see the tension in her. And a trace of…fear. She looked so damn vulnerable and so uncertain.
Then, her face just went utterly blank as if she saw no one and nothing except whatever was occupying her mind. His gut twisted at that look. “I’m starving,” he said.
She shuddered then snapped out of her zombie-like state. She looked at him for a moment, looked back at the Marines, then moved closer to him.
She smiled, but it was wan. “Me, too,” she murmured.
He hoped this would pass. She would process everything and return to normal. Leigh was tough as nails, yet he couldn’t shake his uneasiness. “We have a briefing in like thirty minutes. We better move it.”
She nodded, glancing one more time at the raiders, then followed him into the Mess Hall.
As they entered, his team, all seated at a table near the line, rose as one, then settled in behind him in line.
There was some pushing and shoving like they were in high school, and Hazard braced himself. Boomer started singing “Another One Bites the Dust,” under his breath.
GQ leaned over his shoulder and said, “I heard you’re sweet on a girl.”
“Ew,” Kodiak said. “Not that mushy stuff.”
“Yeah,” Preacher said, crinkling up his nose. “SEALs don’t do mushy things. We’re professionals.”
“What do you mean?” Skull said in a mock horrified voice, his hand to his heart. “Kissing and hugging stuff?”
Breakneck started making kissing noises.
“Stop it,” Hazard said, turning around and glaring at them.
“What was that you said?” Kodiak murmured with his hand to his ear. “I couldn’t hear you above the hypocrisy.”
“Aw, don’t bust his chops. It’s tough when the mighty fall,” GQ whispered in a conspiratorial tone.
“ Et tu , Goldilocks?” Hazard asked, pinning GQ with a hard stare.
He shrugged with a grin. “If the glass slipper fits, there, Prince Charming.”
Leigh’s shoulders were shaking, and he nudged her. “Don’t encourage them,” he hissed. She turned to look at him and managed to keep a straight face as he raised his eyes to the heavens in a beseeching gesture. She mouthed Goldilocks. Prince Charming? with a smirk and dancing eyes, and he shook his head.
“Cut it out, you bunch of five-year-olds,” Iceman said, but that gleam in his boss’s pale blue eyes only heralded mischief. “Only Goldilocks knows when it’s… just right .”
The kicker to Iceman’s statement sent the guys into peals of laughter, including Leigh. Hazard just shook his head and said, “ Et tu , Leelee?”
She sobered, then said out of the blue. “My full name is Leigh Ann. I didn’t want to be perceived as a blonde bimbo. It’s why I darkened my hair and dropped Ann when I graduated from college,” she whispered.
He set his hand against her back, understanding this was important information she felt she needed to share with him. “It doesn’t matter what I call you, babe, everything about you is special.”
She reached back and briefly squeezed his hand, sending a look over her shoulder, her eyes twinkling. “I don’t think you’re a blond bimbo, either.”
“Aw, does that mean you won’t be our pinup girl anymore?” Boomer said. At Hazard’s one-finger salute, Boomer clapped him on the back, and they all settled down.
But Leigh’s confession lingered along with whatever she was concealing from him. Didn’t she know that he would take on her pain…he would walk through hell for her? With this newfound love that was rolling through him, it was difficult not to take her aside and try and get her to talk, but after all his experience, he knew that wasn’t going to work. People had to open up in their own time, their own space.
He just hoped it wasn't a hard landing for her when she finally let go.
Lunch was quick and subdued. Leigh didn’t eat much, just pushed her food around on the plate. They didn’t have much time left before they had to get to the conference room. In his haste, Kodiak dropped his tray, and Leigh’s reaction was both explosive and immediate.
She turned to him with a soft cry, throwing herself into his arms, and he simply reacted, sliding his arms around her, his hand snagging in her soft, loose hair. The metal clang reverberated through the Mess Hall, drawing eyes and attention. He pressed her head against his shoulder, then wrapped her up in a strong, secure hug. She swallowed hard.
“Hey, you okay?”
She let him go abruptly, her mouth tightening. “Why do you keep asking me that?” she snapped. “It just startled me,” she whispered with an unsteady tone, so softly that he could barely hear her. Leigh was gathering her composure, her chest expanding. Then she looked up at him. “Don’t coddle me,” she added, real, immediate anger flashing. She stalked away.
He looked over at the team, as Hazard acknowledged the concern in their eyes with a quick nod. Skull grimaced, his expression stark. “Everyone handles trauma differently,” he said, the other guys murmuring their agreement.
As a combat veteran, he recognized the hypervigilance with the windows, and the anger, explaining the nightmares. It was that thousand-yard-stare. Shell shock was the term used in World War I and battle fatigue in World War II, but now it was called Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Her sense of safety and trust had been shattered, leaving her feeling unbalanced, disconnected, and numb. Her nightmares and the fear she expressed when encountering the Marines were a reminder of what had happened to her and seemed to be triggering her reaction.
She would choose to stay mute. She was a frustrating woman. He was aware that pressuring her into talking would backfire. He was sensitive to how difficult it was to talk about her experience. The best he could do for her was stay engaged with her, and hopefully, she’d feel secure in talking to him. That’s where his calm, relaxed, and focused personality came into play and would be the best thing for Leigh. He ached to alleviate her pain, reduce her anxiety, and comfort her, but she had to come to him with an open mind for that to happen. Then he could react to what she was feeling and maybe help her.
When he and the team entered the conference room, Leigh was already at the front of the room. That stark look was back in her eyes and her face was so pale it was scary. Obviously, struggling, she looked so damned forlorn and lost. He started forward, unable to leave her just hanging there, but before he could even take a step, Nick sidled up to her and started babbling. She never took her eyes off him, and his gut clenched when he realized she was trembling. She bit her lip, then swallowed hard. Skull pushed him down into his seat. “Sit, brother. She’ll be okay. She’s a fighter.”
She wasn’t so down and out that she couldn’t even scrape up a decent dirty look. His eyes went back to her, and she was fighting her little fight, and he respected her for that. It wasn’t like Leigh to go down without a struggle. Another deep breath to call up all of her usual stubbornness and she fortified herself even though she was clearly struggling with a whole bunch of emotions. She nodded to Nick, wrestling hard. Hazard watched her, his gut in a knot, waiting for her to get back her balance. Liking her spunk, he lifted his chin and gave her a reinforcing look.
She tipped her head to one side, her expression changing as she considered him. Making sure his expression was a whole lot calmer than he felt, he leaned his elbows on the table. She mustered some attitude and gave him a brave look.
His attention shifted to the door when Anna Graham walked in. She looked great—put together, and it was clear she’d been getting enough sleep. Anna was as much a warrior as they were, and she held her own. He still felt pride in how she had kicked ass in that small camp in the gap and gotten herself out of her kidnapping situation even before the team could intervene. That was ballsy.
She greeted Leigh, and even from this distance, he could tell she was also concerned about Leigh. It was on her face. The two Shadowguard arrived, Strekoza and Hummingbird. They went right to Anna, both hugging her hard. Hazard didn’t miss Skull’s sour expression, and his oh fuck look.
Moments later, a woman walked in. She was striking, drawing not only his eye but Boomer’s. His gaze locked on her like a heat-seeking missile. She was tall, at least six feet, slender in that toned and lethal way that made him think she was some type of operator off the bat, with chin-length, deep auburn hair. Both her bangs and pixie-style cut were blunt and linear. Her features were sharp, her eyes blue, and her skin had a lovely peaches-and-cream tone.
She was dressed in black pants and a multicolored red, black, and white chevron sweater, and a pair of black high heels. Anna immediately smiled and talked to her briefly, then she took a seat along the wall next to Dr. Nick Tremont and Jose Molina.
Boomer nudged Hazard. “That’s quite a woman,” he murmured.
Hazard’s eyes swept back to Leigh. She was the only woman he could really see. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the door, and Iceman said firmly, “Officer on deck!” He and the whole team stood when a growing legend entered the room: Lieutenant Commander Jude “Hollywood” Lock. He was rapidly gaining a reputation for being a closer, and with the death of Patch, the brass wanted closure. Since it was a small community, all of them were aware that Hollywood had completed the Green Team cycle as the number one recruit for DEVGRU. He had his choice of teams and quickly ascended to team leader. His record for mission success was unmatched.
“At ease, and retake your seats,” Hollywood said as he also connected with Anna, and then took a chair next to the tall redhead.
Anna came to the head of the room and said, “Good morning, let’s get started. We’ve gathered to hear from Leigh and Dr. Tremont, cementing our plans for moving forward in our search for Angel Alzate. We experienced a terrible setback, but we will not let the ambushes carried out by the cartel define our missions or deter us from completing them,” she said with a hard, cold expression on her face, her jaw set. “Let me introduce you to the people who will be assisting us in our search.” She turned to Hollywood and smiled. “Most of you either know or have heard of Lieutenant Commander Jude ‘Hollywood’ Lock. He will be taking over for Lieutenant Commander Terry Patchett.” She paused for a moment of silence, then said, “You also all know Jose and his role here.” She pushed her hair back and indicated toward her colleagues. “My station chief has sent two of my colleagues, Shadowguard, who go by Strekoza and Hummingbird. They are excellent operatives.” She nodded her head toward the redhead. “We also have with us Detective Taylor Hoffman, German Federal Criminal Police or BKA, the national central bureau for Europol and Interpol. She was previously a liaison officer for the German Embassy in Portugal and started off in Division SOC—Serious and Organized Crime and is a former member of the GSG 9.”
Hazard knew that part of the German division was considered special forces and handled border protection, and was so heavily classified, no one was even sure women had been part of the force. Apparently, that was true. No wonder she looked like an operator.
“She currently serves as the liaison to the Maritime Analysis and Operations Center, Narcotics in Lisbon, Portugal. MAOC (N) is a gathering of eight EU Member States: Belgium, France, Germany, Ireland, Italy, Spain, the Netherlands, and Portugal, along with the United Kingdom, a multilateral cooperative to tackle illicit drug trafficking by sea and air. Detective Hoffman is here to assist in the search for Angel Alzate and dismantle the cartel. Fentanyl has been a big problem for them just as it has been for us.” She then turned to Leigh. “Let’s now hear from Leigh and Dr. Tremont.”
Leigh stood and came to the center of the room. “Good morning, everyone,” she said, a small waver in her voice. “Nick and I have been working on a plan to dismantle the cartel and quite literally piss them off in the process so we can shake them up. Brace yourselves, it involves math.”
“Dammit. I suck at long division,” Boomer said.
“Don’t worry, Boomer. Nick will speak slowly.” People laughed at Leigh’s remark, and Taylor Hoffman met Boomer’s gaze across the room. There was a small smile on her face, transforming her stoic look.
Nick cleared his throat and stepped forward. “No need for that. Long division doesn’t figure into our Alzate Cartel equation.” He smiled. “Just statistics.”
Boomer groaned, and there was more laughter.
“I’ll put everything into layman’s terms.” He slipped on a pair of reading glasses and looked down at his notes. “I study and work with complexity and network analysis, and Leigh has hired me for a specific task.” He glanced at her respectfully. “With these tools, I identify drug cartels as a complex network with all the important people who move their product along the pipeline as nodes with algorithms pinpointing the strength and importance of the connections. Leigh’s idea, which has great merit, applies directly to the people who connect the illegal with the legal. We’re talking about governors, municipal workers, law enforcers, and even government officials. This network allows the cartel to function. Without them, there will be significant breakdowns in the chain. We call these betweeners and they are paid by the cartels. Since the cartel relies heavily on close ties with the law to operate successfully, removing the betweeners could devastate their operations. They are going to react strongly to these actions. As we saw with the Alzate Cartel’s takeover of Ignacio Siachoque’s territory, we hypothesize they either assumed assets or intimidated them into submission.” He frowned and pushed up his glasses. “More work needs to be accomplished there.”
“Suffice it to say, we have identified possible people who play a role in assisting the cartel in transporting their drugs to their target countries,” Leigh said. “The people we have identified so far are low-level municipal employees, but we do have one big fish to fry. She put up a picture of a middle-aged woman. “Astrid Cristo, Minister of Transportation. She’s our target. The CNP will handle the others.”
“You have solid proof of this?” Jose asked. When Leigh nodded, Jose looked so sad. “I’m floored. She’s a hard-working person who has always had Colombia’s welfare in mind.”
“I’m sorry, Jose,” Leigh said. We have proof she’s been taking money from the cartel. Russo’s records were seized in Italy, and the Italian government has had their accountants on all that intel.”
“Have you consulted my government? They’ll want to be aware of this viper in the midst.”
“That won’t be possible at this time. We’re keeping this under wraps until we take her into custody. We can’t afford for her to be either assassinated or flee. Your minister is a criminal, and she will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”
His features dropped and he sat down, stunned. Hazard felt sorry for him, but not for what was about to happen to his countrywoman. It was important that everything stay classified.
The meeting broke up, and everyone hit the ground running. The next few days were absolute chaos, and Hazard continued to have concerns about Leigh. He could tell she was running on empty, yet she continued to drive herself to the limit. The nightmares were still plaguing her, and she was starting to look haggard.
About the middle of the week, he finally decided that he had to say something. He wasn’t going to push her to talk, but he was going to lay out his concerns. She was still in the conference room with Nick. She hadn’t eaten, and it was getting late.
“Leigh, you need to wrap it up. We need to have a conversation.”
She looked up, her eyes a bit glassy, and he gritted his teeth.
Sighing, he walked into the room and took her arm. She allowed him to lead her right to the Mess Hall where he fed her. Then it was up to their suite. Once the door closed, she went right to the windows and started to check them. “Leigh…don’t you trust me?”
She turned around and stared at him for a moment.
“You don’t have to check the windows. I have made sure that you’re safe.”
“I can’t seem to help myself,” she said in a small voice.
“That’s because you’re experiencing PTSD symptoms. Hypervigilance, anger, nightmares, and flashbacks. I know, Leigh. Navy SEALs have to deal with it, too. It seems worse when you encounter the Marines. Why are they a trigger?”
Normally, she would have nailed him with some sharp snippy comment, but she didn’t say a word, the most awful look in her eyes. Then she covered her face with her hands and simply fell apart. Feeling as if he had made a bad choice in confronting her, Hazard started for her.
He was just about to grab her when Leigh stuck her arm out, as if blocking him. “Don’t,” she sobbed. “I can’t handle you being nice to me right now.”
He wasn’t sure what the hell to do, and it wasn’t the first time he felt so out of his depth with this beautiful, complicated woman. She visibly pulled herself together and roughly dried her face on the arm of her shirt. Leigh was running on sheer grit and not a whole lot else, and he wasn’t going to stand around, waiting for her to unravel.
He took her arm. “Sit down, babe,” he said, drawing her to the bed.
She mustered some attitude and gave him a sour look, but she did sit down.
“PTSD is a complicated thing. I don’t expect you to tell me anything you don’t want to tell me. I just need for you to know that I’m aware of what’s happening to you, and I’m here for you if you need me.”
He caught a glimmer of acute relief in her eyes as if a huge worry had been eliminated. His expression relaxed as he continued, his tone softer. “Come here,” he murmured.