Chapter 13
The weeks had flown by. Devyn couldn’t believe that she and Haze had settled into a sort of routine. He wasn’t comfortable taking Hazel on his own yet, so that meant a lot of time spent together. Haze wanted every free moment with Hazel, and Devyn didn’t blame him.
Today would mark a milestone though. She rushed around her house with a bundle of nerves dancing in her belly as she packed her and Hazel’s bags.
Not only would Devyn meet Haze’s mom, but they were also going to leave Hazel with his mom and sister for the weekend so they could go to some big race in Ellwood.
It surprised Devyn when Haze invited her, since they had yet to speak much about their situation.
They’d pushed all the negative to the side and focused on Haze building a relationship with Hazel, but he was ready to talk.
He told her the ride to Ellwood would give them time to talk, just the two of them.
The doorbell rang, and Devyn froze. She took several deep breaths to try to calm her racing heart as Hazel clapped from her playpen in the middle of the living room floor.
“Daddy!” she cheered.
Every time the doorbell rang these days, Hazel assumed it was her father. Nine times out of ten, she was right, though. Haze had become a constant, not just in Hazel’s life, but in Devyn’s too for the past few weeks.
Devyn picked Hazel up and walked toward the door.
When she opened it, her heart galloped in her chest. Over the past few weeks, Haze’s effect on her had multiplied.
It was like he was a damn magnet, and she was drawn to him.
Every day, she had to fight to keep herself in check, and every night, she shed a few tears for fucking things up so badly.
“There’s my baby,” Haze said with a wide smile.
For a moment, Devyn imagined he’d said the words to her, and she almost melted right there on the spot. Then Hazel squirmed in her arms, and she realized this moment had nothing to do with her.
Haze took their daughter from her arms and cuddled her to his chest. Devyn’s cheeks burned, and she turned and walked back into the house with Haze trailing behind her while loving on Hazel.
“I’m ready. I just need help carrying all this stuff to the car,” she muttered as she grabbed the diaper bag and a duffel bag. Her suitcase and several of Hazel’s larger items, like her Pack ‘N Play, were folded up and ready to go.
Haze looked at all the stuff and shook his head. “I need to buy her shit to keep over there. We can’t be doing this every time she has to go to my mom’s.”
Devyn nodded and murmured, “That’s probably smart.”
“You good?” Haze eyed her while Hazel patted him on the head. It was more like she slapped him on the head repeatedly, but Haze didn’t seem fazed by it.
“Hazel, quit hitting your daddy,” Devyn scolded.
Hazel stopped and looked at Devyn with large, watery eyes. Devyn shook her head, knowing Hazel was about to throw a tantrum.
“Uh-uh, don’t do that, baby. Don’t cry.” Haze cooed as he bounced Hazel up and down like she was six months old instead of two years.
Devyn appreciated that Haze never went against her when she scolded Hazel. He might coddle her, but he had yet to confuse Hazel and go against Devyn when she doled out discipline.
Devyn walked toward the door in haste, so she didn’t have to answer Haze’s question.
The truth was she wasn’t okay, but then again, she was.
In his presence, she always felt okay. She even felt safe, which then made her feel guilty as hell, and so the cycle of down talking herself and depression kicked in.
It was tiring, but she’d been managing it by herself over the past few weeks.
Of course, she finally told her parents, Koren, and Emilia about Hazel meeting her father.
She answered all their questions, but she didn’t really talk about it beyond that, because she and Haze had yet to talk.
There were no answers she could give to her people because she didn’t have them herself.
After the first trip to Haze’s car that he bought from her dealership, he stopped her from going back inside once Hazel was in her car seat.
“Give me your keys. I’ll grab the rest of the stuff. Go ’head and get in the car.”
Devyn didn’t put up a fight. She’d learned pretty quickly that what Haze said was what would happen—period.
She handed her keys over and got into the car.
It only took him two more trips. She watched as his muscles flexed while he carried the last load to the car.
Devyn had the biggest crush on her baby daddy, and she was finally in a place where she could admit that to herself.
She just wished she knew where they stood so she could know whether she should be happy about this crush or sad about it.
Haze finally got into the car before they pulled out of her driveway.
“You ain’t ever answer my question. You good?”
Nerves bounced around Devyn’s body. She hated that he wouldn’t let that question slide. With a sigh, she decided to give him an honest answer. “I’m nervous.”
“Talk to me.”
Talking to him was hard. So many emotions got in the way. She felt unworthy to speak to him about her issues when she’d caused such a catastrophic issue in his life. But he asked, so she would try. She started with the easiest thing.
“I’m nervous about leaving Hazel with your mom and sister.
Not that I don’t trust them. She’s just never met them.
I’ve never done anything like this before.
” Tears welled up in Devyn’s eyes, and she swiped at them angrily.
She’d been strong thus far. She didn’t want to start that crying shit in front of Haze now.
“Aye, man. She gonna be okay,” Haze said, alarm evident in his tone.
Devyn laughed through her tears. “I know. I know. Ignore me. I’m just emotional.”
“I get it, man. Hazel got a way of pulling emotion out of niggas, huh?” Haze joked.
“That she does. She’s so loved.” Devyn agreed as she glanced back at their daughter.
Hazel smiled at her happily, which melted Devyn’s heart.
“Look, why don’t you leave ya people’s number with my mom so she can call them if she needs anything. We a village now, so it’s only right they know how to get in touch with each other in the event that we aren’t close by.”
Devyn nodded, the weight on her heart lifting slightly. “That’s a good idea.”
“I have a few of those from time to time,” Haze replied with a crooked grin.
For the rest of the ride, they sat in comfortable silence.
When they pulled up to a cute home in a nice neighborhood, Devyn breathed a sigh of relief.
She had no clue where his people lived or how they might be, but this felt like a really good start.
Devyn could picture Hazel playing outside on the porch or front lawn safely, which meant the world to her.
Haze opened her door for her and then got Hazel out of the car.
“Can I hold her?” Devyn asked with an ache in her heart. It was going to be hard for her to leave Hazel.
“Of course,” Haze said. He handed Hazel over and walked them toward the front door. Devyn snuggled Hazel the entire way.
Before they could reach the first step on the porch, the door swung open.
“Mama! They’re here!” Kyomi shouted. Her smile was a mile wide, and tears immediately fell from her eyes. “She is so cute.”
“Here she go,” Haze joked.
“Shut up, Henry,” Kyomi snapped as they reached the top of the porch. “Hi, Devyn. Hi, Hazel.”
When she said Hazel’s name, her voice cracked. Although Kyomi’s tears didn’t necessarily make Devyn happy, she could see the love in them. Kyomi clearly cared about Hazel a great deal already, which gave Devyn a lot of relief. Her baby would be surrounded by love.
“Hey, Kyomi.” Devyn offered her a small smile.
“Can I hold her?” Kyomi asked as she wiped her tears. “She’s so beautiful.”
“Hazel, this is your auntie Kyomi. Do you want to say hi?” Devyn asked.
Hazel peered at Kyomi for a moment before she reached her arms out to her. Kyomi beamed as she settled Hazel onto her hip and kissed the top of her head.
“She’s literally a doll. Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m an auntie.” Kyomi gushed.
Devyn’s heart ached. She had taken so much away from so many people.
An older version of Kyomi walked out of the house with a big smile on her face. Her eyes zeroed in on Hazel and Kyomi. “There she is. Give me my grandbaby.”
“I just got her, Mama,” Kyomi whined.
“Aht aht. Hand her over,” the woman demanded.
Kyomi reluctantly handed Hazel over, and Hazel beamed at her grandmother. It was like she had been knowing them their whole lives.
“This is exactly what the weekend is going to look like. A whole lot of crying and them fighting over who gets to hold Hazel,” Haze leaned down and whispered in her ear.
Devyn cheered up at that some.
“I’m sorry for being so rude. I’m Charlene, Haze’s mother.” Charlene took a step forward with her hand outstretched.
Devyn shook her hand. “It’s really nice to meet you.”
And it was. Haze’s mom seemed warm and motherly, much like her own mom. She also seemed like the type who didn’t play around at all. That must have been where Haze got it from.
“Please, come in.” Charlene gestured toward the front door.
“I’ll grab all of Hazel’s things. Mama, order Hazel one of everything I bring up into this house so I ain’t gotta do this shit again,” Haze said.
“Shit!” Hazel squealed.
“Aye, man, why she only ever pick up on the bad words?” Haze asked in frustration. He had been trying desperately to clean up his swearing over the past few weeks, but he hadn’t made much progress, which meant Hazel was now cursing up a storm.
“Boy, you got my sweet grandbaby swearing? I should beat you. What’s wrong with you?” Charlene fussed as she carried Hazel inside.
Kyomi and Devyn giggled as they followed her while Haze grumbled all the way to the car.
Inside, Devyn felt like she had stepped into a cozy home. The space was clean but felt lived in, and it smelled like freshly baked cookies—like what a grandmother’s house should look and smell like. Her heart smiled for Hazel.
Devyn followed the two women to the living room.
“Please, sit,” Charlene said.
Devyn perched on the end of the couch. Kyomi sat next to her, and Charlene and Hazel sat in a recliner across from them. All eyes seemed to land on Devyn after a moment of silence, and Devyn shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
“Let me be the first to say that it’s water under the bridge, Devyn.
As a mother, I understand why you made the decision you made.
It doesn’t mean I think it was the right decision, but I understand.
” Charlene’s voice was stern but kind. It brought tears to Devyn’s eyes.
She didn’t feel like she deserved that kind of understanding or forgiveness.
“I, for one, just want to be a part of my niece’s life. I hope this will be the start of a friendship,” Kyomi said hopefully.
Devyn nodded and tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
Finally, she said, “I don’t plan to keep Hazel from you guys.
And for the record, I am sorry for the decision I made.
How me and Haze met . . . it wasn’t easy for me.
None of it was, but he’s stepped up and showed me how wrong I was.
I promise you don’t have to worry about having a relationship with Hazel. I welcome it.”
“Good.” Charlene smiled as she bounced Hazel on her lap.
“Tell us more about yourself,” Kyomi said, excitement dancing in her eyes as she grabbed Devyn’s hand.
Affection swirled in her heart for Charlene and Kyomi. As she opened her mouth to respond, Haze cut in from behind her.
“She can’t give you her life story today, Ky. We’re on a tight schedule.”
Kyomi pouted, and Devyn spent the next several minutes giving them her parents’ numbers and going over Hazel’s schedule, likes, and dislikes. Tears formed in her eyes when it was time to say goodbye. The only thing that made it easier was the fact that Hazel seemed so comfortable.
When they got back outside, Devyn knew the next phase of her hard day was about to commence: her talk with Haze.
He led her to the bike she hadn’t even noticed parked in the driveway. It would be her first time riding with him. For three hours, she would be hugged up on him. She gulped before she peered up at him.
With a grin, he asked, “You ready?”