Chapter 2
CHAPTER
TWO
Willow
When we’re far enough away from the others, I yank my hand away as fast as I can, turning to face Haze, I point my finger in his face. “I know what you’re doing.”
The sly bastard puts his hands in his pockets, feigning innocence with a look on his face I could knock off with one swipe. “I’m all ears. Wife.”
“That!” I snarl. “That right there. Stop calling me your wife when we haven’t been together for five years, Austin.”
He piques a brow. I admit he’s an attractive man. There’s always been something appealing about him. I’m not going to deny that, but this is ludicrous. It’s typical Haze behavior, but calling him by his real name always gets a reaction.
“You and I both know that’s not true.”
I flush, my eyes widening… Okay, there was that one time on New Year’s Eve over two years back…
“Shut it. You shouldn’t be here.”
As usual, he ignores me. “I’ll be Austin. I’ll be Superman. I’ll be your fuckin’ cabana boy if it means you put your hands on me one more time.”
“Shhhh!” I glance around, making sure nobody can hear us. “Jesus. You sure as shit know how to make an entrance.”
He grins. “Don’t pretend you don’t like it. And you used to like me putting my hands on you, well, not just my hands if I remember correctly.” He wiggles his eyebrows and now I really do want to punch him in the face.
“You’re making me angry.”
“You know there are ways to work out that frustration a little more productively. That’s where I come in.”
I fold my arms over my chest. “Let me take a stab at it… We’d be fuck buddies, just like college all over again.”
“You married me, sweet cakes, I don’t think I was really as bad as you make out if you declared your undying love for me.”
I huff, lowering my voice. It gets to me, even now, because even when I was younger, I wanted marriage to be for life. “Stop calling me that. We both know we were na?ve and stupid, and when you’re younger, you do stuff without thinking about the consequences until later. Much later.”
“You didn’t mind one iota when I sent you to sleep after using my mouth every night. Oral is very relaxing, sweet cakes, and you do look a little stressed—”
I shove him in the chest but because he’s so big, he doesn’t move a muscle. “Stop it.”
“Make me.”
“I’ll fucking shoot your ass in a minute if you don’t shut up.”
He grins wider, asshole. “Always threatening me with violence. I know you won’t do it in front of the commissioner, but just know this, if you shoot me in the ass, you’ll be pulling out the bullet, Little One.”
Little One. Another one of his nicknames for me that pulls at my heartstrings. I can’t stand all the rest, but I remember when he used to call me that, then kiss the top of my head like I was the most precious thing in the world. But that was a long time ago.
Stop it. This is what he does… like on New Year’s Eve…
“You buyin’?” Haze’s voice is low and growly as he slides onto the stool next to me.
“Have I ever bought a drink before?”
“Touche.” He gives the bartender a chin lift, ordering his usual bourbon, then a dry martini — my drink of choice. Of course, he knows exactly what I like and don’t like, which is unusual for most estranged husbands. This one just won’t go away.
I feel his eyes on me. “So,” he goes on. “You drinkin’ alone?”
“Genius,” I mutter. Not that I have to explain matters to him, but it’ll be easier than him annoying me for however long it takes for him to drink his bourbon. “Look, it’s been a long week, okay.”
“I get it. It’s tough at the top. You shoot anyone this week?” I side eye him and he laughs. “What? It’s a reasonable question, you are a cop.”
“Yeah? Well, sometimes it’s not all about getting the bad guys, Aust. Today I had to peel a kid off the road in a traffic accident.”
He loses the grin, then averts his gaze to the front. “Yeah, I can see how that would be rough. What happened?”
“The Dad fell asleep at the wheel.” I shake my head.
“Did the kid make it?”
I shake my head.
“Fuck.” The bartender returns and Haze immediately orders two shots. “Don’t think a dry martini is gonna cut it tonight, Little One.”
I swallow hard. “And on New Year’s Eve, Aust. What the fuck?”
“Life ain’t fair, that much I know.”
I glance at his arms as he leans his elbows on the bar. He’s covered in tattoos, and there’s something about them that does things to me, even after all this time. Must be the booze talking, and having more probably won’t help that, but tonight I just don’t care.
When the shots arrive, he slides one over to me. “I find alcohol always takes the blues away.”
“You’re forgetting I’m me and I rarely ever drink.”
“Not tryin’ to get you drunk and disorderly, but you’re off duty, and it’s New Year’s.”
I raise the shot to my lips, halting as Haze holds his glass out to me. I sigh, clinking it as the liquor spills over the side. Our eyes lock.
“You want me to count down?” He smirks.
I roll my eyes, raising the glass once more as I take the entire shot, wincing as it goes down.
There’s something extraordinarily sexy about the way Haze watches me, like he’s enjoying every second of seeing me drink a shot, which is crazy.
He piques a brow. “Another?”
I shake my head. “I shouldn’t mix my drinks.” Plus, there’s a new martini waiting for me.
“Well, we finally got the business permit for the Nomad Brothers security,” he says out of nowhere. “Secured a location this week. We sign off on it in a couple of days.”
Haze and his brothers have been talking about setting up their own shop for years, but he and Brew have always lived up to their names — nomads, they’re never in one place for long, but they always come home.
“You’re finally doing it, wonders will never cease.”
“New Orleans is home, and it’s probably time I put down some roots.”
I feel his gaze on me again. I switch glasses, taking the martini into one hand as I swirl the olive around in the glass. “Thinking of settling down again?” The words sting, even though we both know we can’t be together.
“Did those words come out of my mouth?”
I shake my head. “Putting down some roots means exactly that.”
“Or it could mean gettin’ a house and stayin’ in one place. Besides, I was married one time, and that didn’t work out so well.”
“Speaking of which, when are you gonna sign those papers?”
“Never,” I’m sure I hear him mutter, but when our eyes meet again, his face softens. “You know divorce is final, right?”
“Yep.” I pop the ‘p’.
“So you wouldn’t be my wife anymore.”
“Haze, I haven’t been your wife for three years.”
“Technically, you are on paper.”
“You have to let it go.”
“It looks like you have.”
I take a sip of my martini, fuck knows I’m gonna need it for this conversation. “Austin, you know we’re not good together. We need to leave the past in the past.”
He shrugs. “You brought it up.”
“I brought it up because we’re still married.”
“So what? Why the hurry anyway, you lookin’ around?”
“Hurry?” I laugh. “Jesus, Aust, you really work in slow motion.”
He snorts, taking a long gulp of his drink, then orders another. This man can drink a Russian under the bar with his own damn vodka. “A man can’t rush these things—”
“Yes, he can. Sign them, and then you’ll be free of me.” I ignore the way my stomach drops when I say it.
His voice drops an octave. “You know I never wanted to be free of you.”
I hold up a hand. “Not here, not now, not today.”
He runs a hand over his face and, for the first time in a long time, I wish I knew what I saw there. Haze is an open book, but when it comes to me and him, sometimes I get completely lost.
“Babe, you know we need to talk about this.”
“No, we don’t. You’re the one who said we needed a break.” I shake my head, tears springing to my eyes.
“I regret that,” he says, muttering. “I wanted more of you, and that was selfish of me. I know what your job means to you, and I couldn’t get in the way of your ambition.”
The words cut me now as much as they did then. But I wasn’t the one who walked away, and he needs to damn well remember that.
“You’re an ass.”
He looks genuinely surprised. “Why? Because I told the truth?”
“You think I loved my job more than… more than…”
“What, Willow? Spit it out for once in your life,” he says, his gaze pinned on me.
I swallow hard. I guess when it comes to feelings and emotions, I’m like my dad in that way. “More than you?” I let the words hang.
We stare at each other as he slowly nods. “Yeah, I do.”
Tears prick my eyes, and I know it’s not all him. It’s me. I’ve had a shit day, on top of a shit week, on top of a shit year. The last thing I need is to go digging up the past.
My voice is barely a whisper when I say, “That isn’t true.”
He tucks a lock of hair behind my ears and I hate how my body hums, even though it’s barely a touch. “Yes, it is, but it’s okay.”
“I… No, Haze. That isn’t what happened…” It hits me. Haze never stopped loving me, I know that deep down, but I pushed him away. It’s something I’ve tried to ignore, but seeing him here, like this? It brings it all back.
“You don’t have to do this,” he says, his hand curling around his glass. “You’ve had a shit day, let’s just leave it.”
“But I need to tell you.” I’m almost desperate for him to know, even if it is the booze talking, compulsion takes over. “I don’t blame you for leaving.”
“Don’t,” Haze says. “Don’t say that unless you’re comin’ home.”
Tears really well this time. The way he says it…
Home. Like he’s been waiting or something, but that can’t be true.
Haze is a very attractive man. He has an amazing body, a beautiful smile, and eyes that could render a woman powerless from fifty yards away.
I know his charm, even though neither of us strayed in our marriage, there’s no way he hasn’t bedded other women.
While I don’t feel as if I have a right to even question that, being we’re separated and have been for years, I still don’t like the idea. “I can’t.”
“You mean you won’t?” He knocks back the rest of his drink. “I know.”
“Austin—”
He holds up a hand. “It’s fine, Wil, you moved on, I guess we both did.”
Guilt washes over me, but I know he doesn’t mean to make me feel that way. He never did. He fought for us in a battle I wasn’t even part of because I didn’t know what I wanted.
Swallowing hard, I let out a slow breath. “I never said I moved on, but we’re different now. We’ve both changed.”
He side eyes me. “You think I could forget about you, baby doll? There’s no fuckin’ way, so don’t think for a second that this is over.” He goes to stand and I tug on his cut.
“Don’t go.”
“I’m not gonna be a pity party.” He waves a hand at me, and it’s one of the few times I’ve seen him mad. Well, as mad as Haze gets with me, which is nothing I can’t handle.
“That isn’t what this is.”
“No?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“A pity fuck?” He snorts. “No thanks. I’d prefer my bed with you in it, but that ain’t happenin’.”
“Stay for another drink, I think we both need it.”
He steels his jaw, then sits his ass back down. He’s not gonna leave me alone in a dive bar, even if I am still in uniform. It’s a curse and a blessing that I know him so well. “One drink, then I gotta bail.”
“Fine, but you’re buying.”
His lips twitch, and by the time he wipes a hand over his face, he smirks. “Spoken like a true queen.”