Chapter 23
Elijah
“Brah,” Sebastian’s voice was equal parts shock and disgust.
“I know. It’s not good.” I didn’t bother taking in the condition of my living room. I knew without looking that two weeks’ worth of dirty laundry, dishes, and takeout containers were still there. I was the only person who lived here, and if I didn’t care to clean it up, it wasn’t going to happen.
And I didn’t give a damn about a whole lot at the moment.
“All right.” He spun in a circle. If I knew him, he was looking for his nearest exit.
“What’s up, man?”
“Ah.” He grimaced and visibly shuddered. “You all right?”
I let out humorless laugh and gestured at the space around me. “No, I’m not great.”
There was uncharacteristic concern on his usually happy-go-lucky face. He pressed his lips together and nodded. “Come out. My brothers and I are going to the Outpost to watch the game.”
That sounded even less appealing than staying in my messy house. “No.”
“You cannot stay here.”
“I can.”
“Bro, it sucks. You feel like shit. Your heart got all torn to fuck.”
I waited for him to make a point as he let the pause become silence.
“And?” I prompted.
He shrugged. “That’s it. It sucks.”
I snorted, my smile feeling strange. “Wise.”
He laughed and gripped my shoulder. “I know. Come on, go get dressed. Come out with me and my brothers. I’ve already told them to not give you any shit if you talk about her all night.”
“They’re not gonna listen to that.”
“Nah, but at least I told them.”
With a sigh, I shook my head. “I really don’t want to go out.”
“Come anyway.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to turn him down. If I stayed, I’d just end up feeling like shit at home. If I joined them, I’d still feel like shit, but at least I wouldn’t feel like shit alone. And if he already warned them that I’d be talking about Hazel, then I wouldn’t have to feel bad about bringing her up all the time.
As if conjured by an internal timer, I heard her in my mind, You’re destroying me. My pain was my fault, but worse her pain was my fault, too.
My thumb had hovered over her contact in my phone so many times, but I couldn’t bring myself to call her. I wanted to apologize; I wanted to beg her to forgive me, but why would she? After I broke up with her like that, while she asked me not to, should she forgive me?
Swallowing back the memory, I said, “Fine. It’s not like I have anything better to do, anyway.”
The corners of his mouth pulled down. “That’s the enthusiasm I’m looking for.”
“Give me a few, I’ll get dressed.”
Almost a half hour later, I stepped onto the top stair, dressed to go out with my beard trimmed. I had considered shaving it off, but I’d paused with the razor inches from my cheek. I wasn’t ready to look different from the version of me that Hazel had loved.
I followed the sound of Seb’s voice toward my kitchen. “Sterling, what’s happenin’, man.”
They’d hung out a few times when I’d had different events—birthdays, graduation parties—so I knew they knew each other. Them talking on the phone was still abnormal, but not too weird. Since I could only hear Sebastian’s side of the conversation his, “No shit?” put me on guard.
Was Hazel okay? Was my mom?
Patting my pockets, I looked for my phone. I walked faster, finding him with my phone in his hand and his held to his ear by his shoulder. He deftly guarded against my attempt to get my device back as his thumb scrolled my Facebook.
“Really?” he said into the speaker, completely ignoring me as I tried again for my phone.
He defended with his back, extending his arm all the way out as he searched. Taking a different tactic, I snatched the phone from his ear. He cursed.
“Sterling, what the hell’s goin’ on?” I held the phone to my ear. “Is Haz—everybody okay?”
Judging by Sterling’s pause and the downturn of Seb’s mouth, my stutter did not go unnoticed.
“Yeah, everybody is fine,” Sterling answered. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. Have you checked the community page?”
I knew he had been, but I’d avoided his calls and texts ever since I overheard him and Ben talk shit about my relationship behind my back.
“No, why?”
“Huh.” Seb stopped scrolling. With his eyebrows drawn together, he finally handed me my phone.
On the screen, Hazel’s grin was huge and proud in her profile photo. She held her arms out, Vana White style, with the clinic in the background. I couldn’t help but smile back, even as it twisted my guts into knots. Below her name was a post,
It’s been a couple of weeks since the auction, and I don’t believe I’ve properly thanked everyone who came out to offer their hard-earned money, or the gentlemen who gave their time and their trade. I have a special thank you for everyone who coordinated the event, and of course, Benji for hosting.
Our town coming together to support our animals in need means the world to me. It is the subject I am most passionate about.
Thank you.
But there is one person I know I didn’t thank. He not only offered his support and time, but he saw a need in our community and coordinated a way to fix it. And because he didn’t do it for attention or admiration, very few people know, and I just recently found out.
Because of Elijah March, we now have a fund for households in financial need to get veterinarian help. He sought out the help of Mrs. Simons and Mrs. Creger, and the three of them arranged a collection that will benefit our entire community.
Thank you.
Sterling’s voice became background noise as I read and reread Hazel’s post. She had to have known it would cause the divided comments—some attacked her personally or promised to take their business elsewhere. The word “socialism” was repeated. Of course, other’s came to her defense.
When someone accused her of misusing the business my dad sold her, she openly remarked that he had changed the terms of the deal right before contracts were signed, leaving her in a lurch to provide the donation that the humane society depended on. That she and her staff, along with members of the community, had found a way to make that donation. That she did not apologize, and she would hold the auction again for as long as there was interest.
The long thread of comments asking for another auction next year took a while to scroll through.
But when Tara Nelson made a disparaging comment about me, Hazel argued, You can make whatever claims you want; I can’t change your mind or stop you. But I hope everyone reflects on how Elijah treated them when he was here. Let his actions speak louder than the people who want to do him harm.
It was exactly the kind of attention she shied away from, but she did it anyway. And more so, she bore it with grace and courage.
For me.
“Eli?” Sterling’s voice cut through my thoughts.
“Yeah. I gotta go.” I looked up from my phone to find Seb considering me.
He reached his hand out, and I handed him his phone.
After he hung up with Sterling, I said, “I gotta go.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Tonight?”
“Yeah.”
Blinking, he jerked his head to the side. “Really?”
I looked out the window and saw giant white snowflakes illuminated by the streetlights. My shoulders fell, and I nodded slowly. “Yup.”
“Fuck.” He groaned. “Let’s stop by my place so I can grab my real winter coat and snow boots.”
“You’re coming?”
“I can’t let you drive from Detroit to middle-of-nowhere, Michigan, in this shit by yourself.” He pointed at the snow.
“If the roads go sideways, it’ll just put you in danger.”
“Yeah, but if it gets really sketchy, I’ll be able to convince you to pull over.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off, “Man, I’ll just worry about you if I don’t come along.”
I snorted. “You’re a fuckin’ sweetheart, man.”
His mouth pulled to one side, and he shook his head. “It’s fucking annoying.”