4. Be Smart
Be Smart
It’s been about four or five days, and I was low-key going crazy without my girl by my side. A nigga wasn’t eating and was living off water and thoughts of my mamas. The longest I’ve gone without Islah in my life was before I met her, and I didn’t like that feeling.
Between being at the store and taking care of Amir, I was out on the streets, driving the same blocks, asking some of the same people if they had seen Gio or Islah by this point.
It was Thursday. I kept Amir out of school, and he rode to the store with me. When we walked in, the staff greeted him like he was the owner, and Keith looked at me like I looked as rough as I felt.
I walked into my office, sat down at my computer, and looked at the pieces I needed to get done when Keith walked in.
“What’s been going on?” he asked. “Any word yet?”
I shook my head.
“Nah…Islah hasn’t called. That nigga hasn’t called. I’ve been driving around every damn day looking for them and haven’t found them.”
Keith sat down, shaking his head.
“What are you going to do?”
“I have no clue,” I said low. “I feel like I can’t think straight because I am worried about her and our baby. I am worried about her eating. If she is stressed, what the fuck is he doing to her? All of that is clouding my thoughts to figure out what to do in this situation.”
“I get you,” Keith said. “I know I don’t understand what you are feeling. I know this shit is a lot on your plate, which is why you need to step off and let some of the gang handle this shit for you, at least let them look for you.”
I nodded. “Yeah, that shit sounds right, but what the fuck am I supposed to do while waiting for a word? Sitting around is killin’ me.”
“Prepare for her to come home, get shit that she likes, do it big like you always do.”
I shook my head. “I can’t do that right now, I need to know she is okay. I need to have her in the car with me, or coming to me.”
“Okay, okay, I get that. I have to ask a question tho, and don’t get mad at me… What if she went back to that nigga?”
I looked Keith dead in his eyes, wanting him to feel the words coming outta my mouth.
“Don’t play, sayin’ no shit like that, unless you want to die, nigga. Don’t fuckin’ play!”
Keith raised his hands in the air. “I am sorry, the thought just crossed my mind, and I had to ask.”
I leaned up, placing my elbows on my knees, and leaned in, still staring at Keith. “If you want to live, don’t ever say some shit like that again.”
Keith stood up slow. “Yeah…I got you, boss.”
After he walked out. I rolled up and focused on work for as much as I could. I had my staff get some orders ready to be picked up. While I focused on my next batch of custom pieces, Amir walked into my office.
“Dad, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, son, what is it?”
I was focused on the base of the piece I was creating, waiting on whatever Amir wanted so I could cop it, but he caught me off guard.
“Is Islah ever coming home?”
I put down what I was working on and turned to face him.
“Yeah, son, why you ask that?”
He looked around, eyes looking heavy.
“Because you haven’t talked to her, nobody has found her, and you look sad.”
I nodded. “Yeahh…” I said low. “I can’t lie to you. I am sad, you and Islah and...”
“And what?” Amir asked, catching my pause.
I exhaled. “We were trying to make a big thing out of it to tell everyone, but Islah is having a baby.”
Amir’s eyes lit up.
“So I’ma be a big brother?!”
His excitement made me smile for the first time in days.
“Yeah, son, you are, and that’s another reason why I am so worried. I love you and Islah, and our baby in her stomach, and I don’t want to lose any of y’all.”
Amir nodded. “I get why you’ve been so uptight now.”
I laughed. “Boy, what do you know about uptight?”
“It’s the way you’ve been, driving around the city, looking crazy, asking people that look crazy if they’ve seen Islah. I get why now.”
I sat back in my chair. “To be ten, you are a bright young man.”
“I learned from the best. But Dad, Islah wouldn’t want you to go crazy looking for her. I have always been told my dad got steppers under him; let them step for you.”
I laughed again. “Did Keith tell you to come in here and talk to me?”
Amir shook his head. “Nope, I’ve been watching you.”
I exhaled. “Didn’t think you were paying attention like that. I am sorry, son, I didn’t want this mess to bother you.”
“I know, Dad, but it’s okay. I just want you to find her so we can get back to normal.”
Little did he know, I wanted that more than anything.
Once Amir let me know all he wanted to say, he went back out to fuck with Keith while I got back to work. The whole time I was designing, I was thinking about what Amir said, what Keith said, what Sammy said days ago, all while picturing Islah in my head.
I was moving like a nigga in shock, not a nigga with power.
We spent all day at the store. Amir loved acting like a lil’ boss, trying to tell people what to do.
When we walked outta the store, the sun was going down, and a fall breeze came through, making Amir rush to the car. I grabbed food for us, and we took it home, Amir talking the whole way about some girl on the cheerleading team that he wanted to take a flower to the next day.
I smiled, and we stopped at a store, letting him pick out what he wanted to get for her.
While he did that, I looked around, grabbing shit Islah liked.
The Yankee Pink Sand candle, some Ocean Mist Febreze that she liked, and a fake rose.
Once Amir was done, we went home and straight into the kitchen.
The house was a different kind of quiet.
The kitchen hadn’t been cooked in since Islah was in it.
Me and Amir sat at the island, almost eating in silence while I checked my phone and looked at videos of Islah.
Amir finished eating and went up to his room to play the game, while I went down to my man cave. I threw myself on the couch, sitting back, turning the TV on, and unlocked my phone, calling Keith.
“Wussup, Boss?” he said as soon as he picked up. “Any word?”
“Nah, but I was thinking about what everybody has been sayin’, and I am driving myself crazy. Put the gang on it, half a mill for whoever finds Gio.”
Keith started clapping. “That’s what the fuck I am talking about! That’s the fuckin’ Love I know.”
I nodded. “Yeahhh… a nigga was in shock, but I shook that shit off. They need to be looking for that nigga day and night, no letting up.”
“Hell nah, it ain’t no letting up! Any nigga that finds him needs to hold him for you.”
“FACTS!” I yelled into the phone. “My face will be the last face that nigga see.”
Keith got quiet for a second.
“I just feel like the nigga is working with somebody—”
“Around here?” I said, cutting him off. “I had the same thought. It’s no way that nigga here and can’t be found on South Side, that’s where he was before.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Keith added. “That nigga has to come outta hiding at some time, and when he does, the gang will get him.”
I nodded. “I feel that…it just needs to be sooner rather than later. I need my girl and my baby home.”