5. Alex
CHAPTER FIVE
alex
Sweat drips down my back as I grunt through another bench press of two hundred and twenty-five pounds. Probably should’ve stopped after the last rep, but I can’t help myself. Determined to push through the discomfort to make myself feel something—anything other than this numbness.
“Damn, Alex. Don’t you think that’s enough for today?” Shane asks, spotting my bar as I go for one more. “Maybe for the entire week.”
“Nah. Want to do at least…two…more,” I groan, pushing the bar upward again.
“Stop showing off, asshole,” Jimmy shouts from across the gym. “There isn’t anyone here to impress.”
Working out isn’t about gaining anyone’s admiration for me.
It’s always been a way to control my body, ensuring I’m in tiptop shape for anything thrown at me.
Over the years, I’ve learned there is a lot in life you can’t control, but how you treat your body is one thing you can.
And control is the one thing I desperately crave in all aspects of my life.
“Done,” I pant, allowing Shane to help me lift the bar onto the J-hooks. My breathing is ragged, and my heart is about to pound out of my chest. Definitely pushed myself too far this morning. Actually, I’m not sure that’s accurate because I behave this way every day.
Shane takes a big gulp of water, staring at me like I’m a freak of nature. “Do you ever take it easy?”
Jimmy’s unique laugh echoes throughout the room. “He doesn’t know what rest looks like. Half convinced he might be a vampire. The man never sleeps.”
I shake my head without responding, refusing to let Jimmy bait me into one of his bullshit discussions about my nonexistent work-life balance. There’s no point in hearing him tell me something I already know.
Zac gets off the stair stepper and strolls over to Shane and me.
He’s the drummer in Jake’s band, the quietest out of everyone, which is saying something because I rarely talk unless I’m barking out orders.
“Ignore Jimmy. He’s pissed he struck out last weekend and feels the need to give everyone shit to make himself feel better. ”
Shane chokes on his water. “No fucking way! That’s hilarious, considering how he chased after every woman he saw the entire time we were in Hawaii. Almost like he thought we were on spring break, not at our boss’s wedding.”
I smirk, grateful to know there are at least some women out there who don’t fall victim to Jimmy’s bullshit.
Although I might not agree with his lifestyle choices, he’s always upfront about how he’s only interested in one thing for one night.
The world is more likely to be taken over by aliens than for Jimmy to ever settle down.
“Listen, you fuckers, it was slim pickings in Hawaii. There were, like, five single women at the wedding. One of them was Anna, who is gorgeous but scares the shit out of me. Plus, I’m pretty sure Jason would destroy me if I dared blink too long in her direction.”
“What is up with them?” Shane asks, scanning each of us and being met with nothing but shrugs.
No one really knows why Jason and Anna started hating each other so much.
Years ago, they used to get along fine. Until one day they didn’t.
Neither will fess up to what caused their mutual hatred, claiming they’ve supposedly always felt this way, which we all know is complete bullshit.
It makes my job extremely difficult when we’re on the road and they decide to have a pissing match over the stupidest shit.
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve had to defuse the tension between them.
“So, Anna’s out. Chelsi has a so-called boyfriend, but we all know how much she secretly wants me. I swear that woman wants to lock me down.” Jimmy runs his hands over his body like he’s God’s gift to women.
Zac clasps his hand on Jimmy’s sweaty shoulder. “Oh, sweet, sweet, Jimmy. Bats will fly out of your ass before you have a chance at dating Chelsi. Let alone her wanting to marry you.”
Grinding my teeth, I nod in agreement, grateful someone pointed out the stupidity of his comment. Chelsi would never go for a guy like Jimmy. She might get sucked into a date or two with someone like him, but it wouldn’t last any longer. Her asshole detector is top-notch.
Or at least it usually is. I don’t understand what she sees in Logan. Although he seems to be a decent guy on the surface, there’s something about him that rubs me the wrong way. A gut instinct that makes me fearful he doesn’t have her best intentions at heart.
“Whatever. You’re just jealous I’m the most attractive guy in the band and all the women flock to me.”
Shane bursts out laughing, spitting his water across the room, hitting Jimmy directly in the face.
“What was that for?” Jimmy asks, using his shirt to wipe off the water dripping down his face.
“I can’t… I can’t explain it to him,” Shane replies in between bouts of laughter.
I glance at Zac, who shakes his head, unwilling to touch this one with a ten-foot pole. Looks like it’s my turn to set Jimmy straight, like usual.
I sigh. “Well, Jimmy, you do realize the screaming women at the shows aren’t there to see you, right?” I cock my eyebrow, appraising Jimmy’s face and waiting for reality to dawn on him.
Jimmy rolls his eyes. “Obviously, not all of them. I’m sure some of them want to see Jake.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. I drag a hand down my face, rubbing my day-old stubble as I try to figure out how to knock some sense into Jimmy. He can’t possibly be this way forever. At some point, he’s going to eventually grow up and take life seriously.
“Oh my God… He really thinks this,” Shane howls, bending over to brace his hands on his knees.
This is why I prefer to work out alone. If I didn’t need someone to spot me when I bench and Jake wasn’t paying for our private gym time every day, I’d be at the shitty gym close to my house.
“How about we get back to exercising? Isn’t that why we’re here?
” I glance around the circle, making eye contact with each of them and sending a silent plea for everyone to listen.
It’s barely eight thirty in the morning, and I’ve already hit my daily Jimmy drama limit.
Thank God we’re not touring yet, so I don’t have to deal with his nonsense again today.
“How about you tell us why you never date anyone?” Jimmy asks me, crossing his arms and leaning against the weight machine. “I’ve never seen you with a girl. Or a guy. Not sure of your preference, but you’re always alone. What gives?”
I glare at Jimmy, silently telling him to back the fuck off and drop this conversation. Hoping he’ll listen for once.
“Unless you have a secret relationship none of us knows anything about. A woman on the side you keep hidden.” Jimmy wiggles his eyebrows at me, clearly not understanding what my glare means, and definitely not getting the picture when the other guys give him a weird look.
“My personal life isn’t up for discussion,” I bark, abruptly turning and walking away. I don’t stop until I get to the treadmill, jumping on and increasing the speed and incline almost as high as it will go.
Wanting to drown out the noise of their conversation.
Needing to forget why I’ve chosen a life of solitude.
Wishing I could run away from my past, once and for all.