September 2019 #2
Sam: When you cheat, you’re not just cheating on the person in your life—you’re cheating on your whole life.
Jory: Your kids.
Sam: Exactly. Your folks, the other person’s folks, I mean, everyone has to reevaluate the person they thought you were versus the person you turned out to be.
And yeah, it sucks. This guy, he’s had the same group of people in his corner since forever, but it’s no one else’s fault but his that he doesn’t have that anymore.
Jory: Because if he broke it off clean, they would have to be doing what they’re trying to do now.
Sam: Yeah.
Jory: You look sad.
Sam: Because it’s sad. He’s losing, not just full-time with his kids—which I don’t know how people even do, that shit would kill me—but he’s losing the support system of his friends.
You’re talking about years of calling the same people to help you move and watch your dog when you go out of town and vacation with and barbecue with.
I mean, your friends come and bring food with them to the house after a funeral.
This is your community. And divorce changes that, you have to navigate it, but cheating—that’s a whole other ballgame.
Jory: So you’re recommending they just ditch their buddy.
Sam: I think as hard as it is…yeah. They cut ties with him. And not with his kids, because the wife will keep the kids in the lives of his friends, but with him—they have to.
Jory: I don’t think it’s that cut and dry. I still think they need to sit down and talk and see what everyone is willing to give.
Sam: I disagree. They should choose the wife.
Jory: All right. Let’s say Dane cheats on Aja—
Sam: Never happen, my friend.
Jory: Yes, I know. I’m saying, what if.
Sam: That’s just—pick someone else.
Jory: No.
Sam: Why?
Jory: Because if Dane cheated on Aja, he’s still my brother. We would have both of them, Dane and Aja, in our lives. Always.
Sam: Yeah, but it could never—it’s not possible to even wrap your brain around. Why on earth would Dane cheat on Aja when she’s brilliant and funny and beautiful and—
Jory: You’re getting way too worked up about this.
Sam: Because cheating makes me crazy! It’s so stupid. If you want to fuck around, get a goddamn divorce! Look at all the people over the years who have been killed, cheaters and the people who got cheated on, just because someone didn’t have the balls to ask for a divorce!
Jory: Sam—
Sam: That stupid movie you just made me watch about the woman who framed her husband for her own murder instead of just divorcing his cheating ass, and she ends up killing Doogie and—
Jory: I think you’re mixing up your—
Sam: Can you actually imagine any of our friends cheating?
Jory: No. But I could imagine some of them getting divorced.
Sam: You could? Really? Who?
Jory: You know, you always tell me to focus. It’s fun to say it to you.
Sam: I—
Jory: Focus.
Sam: Fine. You know how I feel. I have a very black-and-white view of cheating.
I know we’re all human, but that knife cuts both ways, right?
A human being, capable of logic, not an animal in heat, can stop themselves and say, “oh shit, I want to sleep with this new guy but I’m married, so I better go home and tell the old guy, the one waiting with my dinner, that screwing someone new is just now at the top of my priority list.”
Jory: You’re so far up on your high horse right now, I can barely see you from here.
Sam: I’m a judgmental asshole. I know this. You know this. You married this. So…deal.
Jory: Charming.
Sam: The bottom line is that the guy who’s asking for your help, he and his friends need to pick the wife, even if she didn’t start out as their friend. She is now. This goes back to loyalty. You give loyalty where it’s deserved.
Jory: It’s just like, if you saw Chris out with a woman you didn’t know, would you tell Dylan?
Sam: First, I would confront Chris. I don’t want to beat the crap out of him if he’s having lunch with a sister I’ve never met.
Jory: You would beat Chris up if he cheated on Dylan?
Sam: I don’t hit people anymore.
Jory: You—
Sam: Mostly.
Jory: Sam—
Sam: I would sure as hell not wait. I would walk up to him and say, what the hell? And he’d introduce me to his sister, because we both know that Chris is another one who thinks his wife hangs the moon.
Jory: Oh, I love that expression.
Sam: Yes, I know.
Jory: Okay, so it’s really all about talking. They need to come to a consensus as a group, but if it comes down to a choice, they need to choose the person who did no wrong.
Sam: Yes.
Jory: Because if you’re the good person, if you’ve been loyal and loving, then if everything else goes to shit, one of the perks should be that you get to keep your friends. Your circle stays intact no matter who had them first.
Sam: Exactly. Well said.
Jory: I’ll keep that in mind should I ever think to stray.
Sam: Hah! Never happen, my friend.
Jory: Oh? You’re so perfect, are you?
Sam: I just said I was an asshole. Were you even listening?
Jory: …
Sam: Stop laughing! And no. Not perfect. Not in the least. But YOU think I hang the moon.
Jory: Yes, I do.
Sam: Please. Stray. To where? To who?
Jory: Actually, it’s not me that we have to worry about in this relationship.
Sam: We don’t have to worry about either of us, but—wait. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Jory: I’m sure I don’t know, but I’m not the one who thinks Aaron Sutter is hot.
Sam: Oh my God!
Jory: Seriously. Like a seven? Eight? What’s his number? Don’t growl, just tell me.
That’s it, everyone. Have a wonderful rest of September.